Time: 2065438+July 2008, 13 days.

I finally finished reading a novel. This process is very enjoyable and very fulfilling. It seems that I haven't finished reading a novel so seriously and completely for a long time. Every time I open a novel, I just read a little, and I feel anxious. I think I should read another book that is "more practical, more enlightening and more likely to provide future possibilities", but I really can't draw a conclusion. Which book is it and which book really has such a function?

After reading this novel carefully and intently, it brought me inner peace, let me "accompany" a female writer to grow up, let me witness the unforgettable love from beginning to end, and let me feel the disappointment, meaning and happiness of life.

"If you find love, you will find yourself", which is a sentence on the cover of the book. It is this sentence that encourages me to read this book. In the process of reading, I seem to be looking for the verification of this sentence.

When I finished reading this book, I knew that there was nothing in the book to verify this sentence for me. Only when I close the book and live my own life, one day, I wake up in my lover's arms and look at his eyelashes happily and quietly, I may or may not think of this sentence.

At the beginning of the book, photos of Thomas and Timothy are hung all over the corridor, bathroom and bedroom. Four-year-old Ruth grew up listening to and describing the photo stories of her dead brother. This is how the first book, Summer 1958, began. At that time, Ruth was four years old, Eddie, who came to work as a summer job, was sixteen, and Ruth's mother, who had sex with him, was thirty-nine.

/kloc-in the autumn of 0/990, Ruth was thirty-six years old. As a famous writer, she experienced the personnel around her and the idea of a new novel during her new book promotion journey in different countries in different periods. The conception of Ruth's new novel has influenced the trend of the novel I am reading and her real life.

1995 In the autumn, Ruth's husband died after several years of marriage. She finished the novel conceived five years ago. Because of the idea of this novel, she went to the red light district at 1990, witnessed the killing of prostitutes at close range, and anonymously sent her testimony and physical evidence to the police station. Harry, the policeman who received the evidence, is a fan of Ruth's short story.

"When you find love, you also find yourself." I wonder if Ruth and Harry will say such things in their hearts after they get married. But when I saw the end, I was really happy for Ruth, because Harry was not a retired monotonous policeman.

"On the last night in Amsterdam, Harry took her to see his apartment in the west of the city. Seeing that he has so many books in his collection and he likes cooking and buying food, he will light the fireplace in his bedroom at night-even in warm seasons, when he needs to open the window to sleep, Ruth is very surprised. In front of the bookshelf reflected by the fire, they lay side by side on the bed, and the soft and warm breeze outside overturned the curtains. "

There is always a gloomy atmosphere in the novel from beginning to end. But there is a kind of warmth that keeps growing. After reading the end, this "warmth" tolerated the gloom of life, and then turned and walked into daily love and life.

Day 1 day

Today's reading is about 14:00- 15:00.

Read the abstract

This book is already lying in my Kindle. I was originally attracted by the name of this book. Moreover, I think it is a diary essay, a daily essay written by a writer alone in a year, like Provence or Walden Lake.

But then I read it from the beginning and realized that it was a novel. A four-year-old girl was awakened in the middle of the night by the sound of "vomiting" from her parents' bedroom. Of course, this is what Ruth, a four-year-old girl, thinks is vomiting. She took pictures of her two dead brothers through the bathroom, went to her parents' bedroom and opened the door. She saw a picture of a boy having sex with his mother like a dog, and then screamed ... There was a gloomy and trivial description at the beginning, especially the "eyah" when describing the photos of two dead brothers, which was a little impatient. When the reader is in an impetuous or inappropriate state, it is difficult to continue reading.

As a result, the book really lay in the virtual world of Kindle for a long time.

I participated in reading activities this time, so I carefully selected the bibliography to be read 2 1 day. A year of living alone found me again, especially the cover sentence "Find love, find yourself." . I decided to read this book. On the subway to work, I opened the first page and began to read. I saw the experience of four-year-old Ruth, and I was fascinated. I am curious about her growing process and how she lived alone when she grew up to be a writer. Suddenly feel the mysterious pleasure of reading novels for a long time. In the past, at least in college, my favorite reading was novels. I haven't read the novel completely for a year or two. What occupied my attention was "pragmatism" books, but my impetuous mood was not much reduced by these books.

This novel opened my heart with some mystery.

Two or three partners in the reading WeChat group said that they had read the book but didn't, and found it difficult to read. Maybe the description is trivial, maybe the tone is gloomy, maybe ... when I continue reading, I may find the reason. At least at the beginning, I want to read on eagerly. Curious about life from Ruth's perspective. I wonder what kind of novels Haruki Murakami likes to write?

When you find love, you find yourself.

the next day

Reading today is at night 1 hour.

Read the abstract

Start reading this book at 8: 30 in the evening. I'm already sleepy, and my subconscious may be more active. The background and tone of the story still revolve around the photos of two dead sons hanging on the walls of the guest room and bathroom. Four-year-old Ruth was born shortly after her brother died. She knows the story of every photo like the back of her hand, but she still takes pains to listen to her lost parents hug her one by one and tell the stories in these photos, how old they are, where they are, what they are doing, and so on.

Today's reading involves many processes, details and psychology of Ruth's parents who are separated but have sex with others separately. When consciousness and reason are integrated, I feel the psychological activities in the book more deeply through dialogue, eyes and actions, and almost feel the same.

At this time, the protagonist in the book, the protagonist in the story, 16 Eddie and 4-year-old Ruth have made people start to guess and wonder about their growth process and appearance.

At present, I read 19% of the books, how will it continue to develop, what will this novel write in the end, and what will happen to me and this book? Continue tomorrow ~

Golden sentence of today

All his life, he regarded this moment as the highest state of making love: nothing to ask for, nothing to ask for, immersed in pure perfection.

the third day

Today's reading is 40 minutes in the morning

Read the abstract

The more I read it, the more I feel that Owen has constructed a delicate and complicated description in simple language. This description is very attractive. For example, "I feel that he has been thinking for five to ten years" appears twice in one chapter, which is a long-term physical and emotional memory of a boy of 16 years old for his first love "girlfriend" of 39 years old. "Five to ten years", I can't help feeling in my heart. This is really the contradiction between pure love and greed.

There is also a "story" written in it: Ruth will always remember the story Eddie told her in the car, even if she forgets it for a while, as long as she sees the tiny scar on her right index finger. ...

These details are full of fatalism mystery.

Today, Eddie Ochal suddenly had an idea that changed his life: if he became a writer as an assistant writer, it must be Marion who made him discover his voice.

The fourth day

Today's reading subway 10 minutes+40 minutes in the evening.

Reading progress 29%-39%

Read the abstract

Eddie's summer job as an assistant to children's book writer Ted in the summer of 1958 came to an end with Ted's wife Marion, that is, Eddie will never forget a woman who left without saying goodbye. Finally-on the way home-when I got home, in this process, I often "predicted" things many years later, which was of course completely unexpected by the parties. The reader sits in the audience prepared by the author, watching attentively the "hand of God" making love in the present and future plots. Of course, when it comes to the plot, it is actually more about "description, description", which makes people psychologically immersive.

"But he didn't expect that after a brief glance at sleeping Ruth, he saw her again more than 30 years later."

Twenty-two years later, 26-year-old Ruth published her first novel, and 38-year-old Eddie Ochal read it.

In the first book, Summer of 1958, this description of the future, which is similar to "memory" and interspersed with the present description, ended today's reading. Because the second film is Autumn at 1990, Eddie is 48 years old and Ruth is 36 years old. They grew up, and the "future" of the first part was interspersed with descriptions, just like the preface of the second part.

Golden sentence of today

"Although he has been writing, he never gave up his formal job as a university teacher, and he did it wholeheartedly and aboveboard. This is why, although he has not shown any talent in teaching, he is still respected by students and colleagues-but not worshipped. "

This sentence impressed me as much as that sentence in the inspirational book. I also think that I am not a talented person, just an ordinary person, but even so, it is a calm need to do what I choose wholeheartedly. Although Eddie "has never been able to shake the hearts of American readers like Ruth Cole, nor has he been able to master the language as skillfully as she has, creating complex characters and plots-writing is even more energetic than her. ... Eddie can still make a living by writing novels ... "His value as a novelist cannot be completely denied.

Fifth day

Study for 30 minutes tonight.

Reading progress 39%-42%

Read the abstract

I only read one chapter "Thirty-six-year-old Ruth" today. In the last movie, she is a very calm, persistent and special four-year-old girl. At the beginning of this film, she was a famous writer at the age of 36. Her mother 16-year-old "lover" disappeared when she was four years old, and now 48-year-old Eddie is the opening introduction of her book club. During Eddie's "Gonggongzheng" speech, many prototypes of her three books were developed with Ruth's memories and tone, especially each book has "Hannah role" and "Ruth role". Hannah is Ruth's best friend. Although people, even Eddie, can't see the autobiographical content in her novels. But every writer has a prototype hidden in it.

Ruth thinks that a man should respect my independence now.

sixth day

Reading today is 10 minutes in the afternoon and 20 minutes in the evening.

Reading progress 42%-53%

Read the abstract

Since the jump from 1958 to 1990, the previous "exaggerated" and emotional description has returned to reality. In the autumn of 1990, Ruth had grown from four to thirty-six. The chapter "Red and Blue Air Mattress" I read today is the first chapter of a novel that Ruth read to book fans at the book club. This chapter describes a novelist, a woman and a widow whose children study in the same school.

After reading this book, Ruth learned a lot from Eddie about her mother's feelings. At the age of 48, Eddie still believed in Marion. She loved Ruth's mother deeply, even though she was 7 1 year old and had never appeared since she left 32 years ago. But through Eddie's story, Ruth felt her mother's love.

Then she wrote about her current boyfriend, the editor of her book, her best friend, and what happened in the two days when she returned to her father's house, thinking and thinking.

Golden sentence of today

One detail in today's reading is particularly attractive. Thirty-two years ago, in a restaurant, Eddie dipped Ruth's freshly cut finger in tomato sauce, gently pressed it on the napkin, and then pressed it under the glass. The bottom of the glass magnified her fingerprints. Four-year-old Ruth knows what fingerprints are, and she will never forget the straight vertical lines on her fingerprints that heal wounds. Thirty-two years later, Eddie and Ruth met again and asked for ketchup and napkins to "restore" the scene.

"The yellow hexagon in Ruth's right eye was blurred by tears, and she could not speak."

"Other people's fingerprints will never be the same as yours."

"Your scar will always be a part of you."

Seventh day

Reading today is half an hour to forty minutes in the morning.

Reading progress 53%-59%

Read the abstract

Ruth is going to stay at her father's house for two nights and invited her best friend Hannah. To her surprise, when Ruth got home, she found Hannah's suitcase. Hannah and her father swam naked in the pool, so Ruth "kicked them out". She wants to stay here alone and then go to Europe on business.

On this day, she practiced some squash skills by herself, and then sat by the pool to relieve the pain. She remembers everything her father taught her to drive. Because her two brothers died in a car accident before she was born, her father taught Ruth to drive very carefully. "Patience, Ruth, patience." Her father took pains to emphasize.

Ruth likes reading graham greene's novels. She can't just read them and enjoy them wholeheartedly. When she put ice on her shoulder in the swimming pool, she was reading graham greene's biography. There is also an autobiography "Life" written by Green herself, which Ruth should have read. She feels that the characters in the book have come into her life since childhood. Up to now, she is even more stable than her father and her best friend, not to mention the man in her life. She remembered what Rigling said in One Life: "I have been listening to my intuition all my life and giving up what I have no talent." She thought that if she listened to her intuition, she would never want to make friends with men again in her life. I like this sentence very much, just like "listen to your heart" and "be yourself".

From time to time, there will be a "prophecy" in the book, just like this sentence, "If she had known this would be her last conversation with her father, she might have tried to make up with him." Ruth's father drove her to the airport. Before that, she hit her father for the first time in the squash room on the second floor of her barn, which may also be an omen.

Golden sentence of today

"I have listened to my intuition all my life and gave up what I have no talent." Graham Greene

Eighth day

I read for half an hour this morning.

Reading progress 59%-65%

Read the abstract

When I didn't read this book, I thought it was a collection of essays and diaries, but it turned out to be a novel. But what I saw today "satisfied" my initial imagination The chapter I read today is Ruth's diary. She recorded the process of coming to Germany and then going to the Netherlands to attend the reading meeting and interview of her novels, as well as the readers' reaction. But most importantly, she conceived the general content of a novel. She wrote in her diary that the name might be "the last bad boyfriend". The heroine in the story she conceived was a writer who went to the red light district of the Netherlands with her boyfriend to spy on prostitutes and receive guests ... So when Ruth promoted her last novel in the Netherlands, she came to the street and met an elderly prostitute. She went into her room, told her the idea of her novel and carefully observed the furnishings in the room.

The development and story of this book are now centered around Ruth, and now the plot has generally returned to "normal" (the first plot 16-year-old Eddie having sex with Ruth's mother, Ruth's father seducing countless women, and Ruth's parents losing two sons are as exaggerated as drama). Reading, you will feel that you are Ruth, because the description of the situation in the book is meticulous, and the description of the characters' psychology is more fascinating.

Golden sentence of today

"My subconscious must be thinking about a new novel. Jet lag is not the reason why I am upset. I'm going to describe a woman writer who is more extreme than me. She made every effort to observe everything and absorb every detail ... "

the ninth day

Read for 40 minutes today

Reading progress 65%-72%

Read the abstract

Ruth started to act. Although she said at a reading meeting in the Netherlands that "the best details are fictional details, not from memory", she felt ashamed inside. As for her newly conceived novel, she thinks it may be her most autobiographical novel. She interviewed several prostitutes with Vim, a Dutch young man who admired her.

She went to the red light district to look for her new book. The story of the new book has a lot to do with here. The protagonist of the novel I am reading is her. She went to the red light district to explore more details and possibilities for her novel. Very interesting. I remembered a sentence, "You stand on the bridge and watch the scenery, and the people who watch the scenery are watching you."

But the plot suddenly took a turn. She went to Roy, a prostitute who had talked to her from the beginning, and wanted to talk again. When a guest happened to come to see Roy, Roy hid her in the closet and told her that this was not a good opportunity to meet prostitutes and customers. However, the visitor killed Roy. Ruth is afraid to make a noise in the closet.

Golden sentence of today

"She began to tell him how her new novel will be written, how the plot changes constantly, and how the story is fabricated. Storytelling skills are nothing more than higher-level common sense. "

Day 10？

Read for 50 minutes today

Reading progress 72%-78%

Read the abstract

She wrote down the murder she saw in the prostitute's room and sent it to the nearby police station with a physical evidence. Her trip to Amsterdam has also ended (I didn't expect that the experience of witnessing the murder here has become a thing of the past, and there is no development as expected by readers). Back in the United States, her fiance Allen and her friend Hannah met her at the airport, and her father committed suicide. Later, Ruth got married soon and gave birth to a son. She likes life at this time very much.

The funeral, the wedding, Ruth's mother didn't show up. She is looking forward to it. On the plane back to America from Amsterdam, in order to distract her from thinking about a new novel, she began to read a crime novel that Eddie had given her before. There are many photos in the novel. The stories of these photos are all from the photos of my brothers when I was a child. She knows that her mother Marion is now a famous crime novel writer in Canada (her crime novels are very different from ordinary crime novels).

Golden sentence of today

At Ruth's wedding, Hannah read Eddie's famous quote written by George Eliot for the wedding: "What is better than the fusion of two souls?" I feel that their lives are integrated-supporting each other in each other's efforts, comforting each other in sorrow, helping each other in pain, and merging in silent memories until the last moment of parting. "

Day 1 1 day

Reading today 10 minutes

Reading progress 78%-79%

Read the abstract

After a busy day today, I set aside ten minutes to read at eleven o'clock in the evening, and then wrote a summary for more than twenty minutes. I feel that once I decide to do something, I will be able to do it. When Ruth returned to the United States from Amsterdam, she sent her evidence to the police station in the red light district. The recipient was Harry hoekstra, a policeman. Although the beginning of this chapter is described in the third person, the perspective is Harry. I believe most people know the red light district, but some things under the surface of the red light district may be the most clear to Harry, a policeman who has worked in the red light district for 35 years. There is a touching detail. One Christmas morning, patrolman Harry rode his bike through the newly snowed old city to see if prostitutes were still working and brought them small gifts. One of them is a 23-year-old prostitute he specially cared for. The light in the room doesn't work Later, he found that she hanged herself on such a snowy day. Harry from the patrol also brought him a slightly more expensive gift.

Golden sentence of today

"One Christmas morning-Harry rarely takes a holiday at Christmas in recent years-Harry rode his bike through the old city where it had just snowed. He wants to see if prostitutes are still working. His view is somewhat similar to that of Ruth Cole: Maybe the red light district will look cleaner only after it snows.

Day 12

Read for 2.5 hours today

Reading progress 79%- 100%

Read the abstract

I happened to read the last part of a book today. And this part is a happy ending. Patrol Harry is a big fan of Ruth's books. He happened to be with Ruth because of the witness. I got married in a month or two. Ruth was very happy, even in high spirits. Marion finally came back when he heard that the house was for sale. She will spend the rest of her life with Eddie.

Golden sentence of today

"Time will wait for people and will pause, such as now."

At this time, Marion and his daughter Ruth met 37 years later.