Tools/raw materials 1 Experience the importance of emotional intelligence in all aspects of your life. Having a high IQ is very important in life, but having a high EQ is considered more important because it will bring many related advantages. Having a higher EQ can make your life happy, because it is easier for you to understand and talk with others, and it is second nature for you to do things reliably. It will also bring you a sweeter love relationship and better job opportunities. Here are the four core elements of emotional intelligence, which can help you enjoy an orderly life: self-knowledge: this is the ability to identify your own emotions, know what it is and why. It is also the ability to know your own strengths and weaknesses and self-esteem. Self-management: this is the ability to delay enjoyment, balance the needs of oneself and others, be proactive and resist impulses. This is also the ability to cope with challenges and calmly deal with them. Social consciousness: this is the ability to understand other people's emotional worries, as well as the ability to realize and use social cues. This is also the ability to use tactics in any organization or group. Interpersonal management: This is also the ability to get along with others, solve frictions, inspire and infect others, and communicate effectively. Learn to find the trigger point of stress and how to deal with it. From the breakup of couples to unemployment, life is full of difficulties. In between, there are countless stress trigger points, which will make any problem in life much more difficult than it is. The greater the stress, the lower your ability to deal with many stressors in life. On the one hand, it is very important to explore the trigger points of stress, judge what they are, calm yourself down and achieve a calm and relaxed state. The wide world, embrace it. Optimistic, open, curious and receptive. In terms of emotional intelligence, openness and willingness to accept pleasure are always inseparable. Actively accept novel ideas-narrow thinking is often a manifestation of low emotional intelligence. Cultivate a more open mind and seek understanding and reflection on other people's emotional views. Actively accept other people's ideas, so that you can consider all possibilities with a positive attitude. Remember, you can't always be right. Open your heart and think about new possibilities, so that when you face a reality that is different from your original understanding, you can accept it more generously. When your mind becomes more open in understanding and introspection, you can handle conflicts more freely with calm and confident attitude. You will find that your social awareness will improve and your life will usher in new possibilities. If you stubbornly believe that everything in life is unchangeable, it is difficult for you to change your mind. Opening your mind will bring more new ideas and less alarmism. To strengthen these elements in your EQ, you should consider: when listening to the debate on TV or radio, you should think about both sides of the debate and realize the subtle differences, which requires you to have keen insight. The answer is often hidden in a gloomy shadow. If you think your thoughts are chaotic, write down your thoughts and comment on them, and think about why you have such thoughts. Moving your ideas from your mind to paper is to concretize abstract ideas and make them easy for you to deal with. Please recognize them more clearly, instead of being chased around in your mind. Clear your confused brain and do something to calm your head, such as going to the seaside or going out for a walk. No matter what you are doing, a little rest can help you cope with the pressure of the environment, solve the immediate challenges and cope with the daily routine. When you object to something you hear, please think carefully before you decide to hate these ideas. When others don't reflect the same emotions as you, think about why. To improve your ability to accept other people's ideas, you should trust others more. This is not to say that you are naive or credulous, but to ask you to find the bright spot in others at any time and not to speculate on others with the worst malice.
Method/Step 4 Be wise and be kind to others. Be helpful and considerate. Some people can understand others and pay attention to external entities (that is, the world outside themselves) instead of themselves (narcissism). They have the quality of focusing on the outside world and feeling the feelings of others (note that this is not necessarily the same as extroverted people), and understanding others is what we call empathy. Externalization and empathy complement each other-when they are combined, you become a problem solver and a selfless person. The most selfish and self-centered newcomers often lack empathy, while those who lack empathy tend to pay more attention to themselves and look at the world only from their own needs. By improving this emotional intelligence, your communication skills will be improved, and you will enjoy more intimate and satisfactory interpersonal relationships. Clear and accurate communication skills will also help you deal with friction better and make you infect others more effectively. To establish the quality of extroversion and empathy, we can consider the following: cultivate empathy and put yourself in others' shoes. Choose a person who is suffering misfortune (such as a beggar in a shelter or a friend in deep trouble) and think about how you would feel if you were in their situation. Take the initiative to imagine what they have to endure, and think about what kind of support and care can help them alleviate their pain. Practice empathy with friends and people around you. When you see someone suffering, ask yourself, "How would I react if I were in the same situation?" "Are these people going to suffer like this?" "Is it fair that they are treated like this?" And "Do I want to be treated like this?" In this way, you can begin to understand others and cultivate empathy. 5 think carefully about interrogation, distinguish right from wrong, and be faithful. Rational thinking and action are important components of EQ. When you can understand people's situation and have a clear understanding of it, what's the use of analyzing and understanding this situation if you can't take reasonable actions against it? Deliberate interrogation is an analysis of a situation, while discerning is to take corresponding actions rationally. In other words, this is to understand the situation, analyze the situation and actively respond to this situation. Many people can't see where they are wrong, so they stop and go actively and consistently. In the process of careful interrogation, thorough observation and perseverance, you will find that your decision-making ability is stronger and your ability to survive in adversity will be completely improved. Coupled with a positive and open mind, you will find that you can find the best way out in a difficult situation. There are several ways to improve this factor in your EQ: When something happens, analyze it first. Over-analysis, in-depth criticism, and asking why, sometimes it is not a bad thing, as long as you don't suffer from the problem of "stupid analysis", you have countermeasures for the problems you find. Put yourself in an imaginary situation and think about what will happen after the meeting in this particular situation. Challenge yourself in turn from easy to difficult, so that your thinking process will run at a high load. Careful analysis of difficulties before they come to you will help to exercise your brain and form an instinctive reaction. The goal is clear. Thoughtful interrogation focuses on action and takes the necessary steps to realize it. The most important thing you can do is to set goals and write them down so that they will start to know your thoughts and actions. Without a map, it is difficult to move, and so is life. Make sure that you have considered all possible options before making a decision. Careful thinking needs to control impulsive emotions, and make a final decision after knowing all the situations and thinking carefully. When making a decision, don't make emotional choices. For example, it is not a good idea to make a decision when you are angry. Make a decision when you are relaxed and sober. 6 Seek inner peace. Always be careful and know yourself-know yourself and know yourself. Constant attention is to take the initiative to observe yourself and your surroundings. Self-knowledge is very important here. If you don't know who you are, how can you try to understand others? To make matters worse, I hope others will decide who you are, give others your autonomy, let others design your life path, and decide your life purpose and meaning. Self-discovery is a journey of enlightenment, which is a long road-in fact, it is the length of a lifetime-but only when you realize that you are growing, changing and getting to know yourself better can you maintain a stable development. Similarly, it is important to know your surroundings-you must be able to open your mind and analyze the outside world. Once you know yourself, you can begin to recognize your emotions and know how they affect your thinking and behavior. This is self-awareness. Self-knowledge can make you manage yourself more actively and have the ability to control your emotions and behaviors in a reasonable way. Just like a fallen domino, once you fully understand yourself, you should be able to clearly judge the emotions and behaviors of others, which will bring health and happiness. In order to improve this part of emotional intelligence, consider the method: ask yourself a question, "Why should I do this?" "Why do I think so?" "Why do I find it so difficult to change my mind?" Know your strengths and weaknesses, and think about how to learn from each other to build your strengths. Establish values and evaluate them. The best way is to read, study and listen to the opinions of all kinds of people, including those who really challenge your worldview. Don't simply accept the ideas of parents, teachers, colleagues or anyone else; Your values must be based on extensive research and frank contact with the world. Leave room for personal growth. A person with a strong thirst for knowledge is always willing to take learning and discovery as a lifelong need to improve himself. Everything is changing, and people who learn to follow suit can enjoy a more fulfilling life than those who stick to the rules.
Note 7 Practice communication skills. Good communication skills will bring higher emotional intelligence. High-level communication skills make it easier to convey and receive information accurately and directly, and bring enough respect to yourself and others. It is important not only to establish good oral expression skills, but also to pay attention to your body language. By observing a person's body language, you can interpret his emotions to a great extent. You also send certain messages through your body, depending on how you control your body. Note: comfort distance: everyone's comfort range is different. Study how close people stand in front of you and see if it is natural for them to have physical contact with you. Respect their comfortable distance and reduce their discomfort; In turn, you will win their understanding and make them pay attention to their behavior. Sincere observation: When others laugh, do they really laugh? You can read the meaning of many years from a person's smile. Instrument posture: study body posture to better understand others, and pay attention to unspoken social cues. If a person faces you with a natural and relaxed attitude, opens his arms and maintains good eye contact, then they are happy to be with you. Some people like to hide themselves with restraint; Don't always think that this is caused by you, because many people are just afraid to expose their true side to the world and isolate themselves from others through body language, believing that it is safer. You can help these people open their hearts, trust them, and let them know that they can trust you and be equally sincere and enthusiastic. 8 optimistic. Optimistic and upward. Optimists lead happier and more successful lives. When you are optimistic, it is easier to find the beauty of life and everything in daily life. Optimism brings an open mind, which is the key factor to improve IQ. If you look at everything pessimistically, how can you expect to get a higher IQ? Negative emotions hold us back and focus only on what will happen in life, instead of cultivating our adaptability and strengthening our ability to cope with the ups and downs in life. A positive attitude brings healthy emotions and better opportunities-everyone wants to stay with positive and optimistic people, and a positive attitude will attract them all to you and give you more opportunities and interpersonal relationships. Be sure to take some time to practice a positive attitude: affirm your excellent qualities and appreciate them, and discover the bright spots of others. Find shortcomings and accept them. Try to do your best under difficult circumstances. Turn the dilemma into a driving force for progress. Enhance your sense of humor and learn to find the bright side of suffering in life. Note that some things need more careful analysis than others. Accept new ideas and don't tie yourself down. If you have high emotional intelligence, you can consider jobs that require frequent contact with people and jobs that involve contact and communication with people. Don't be discouraged-always remember that EQ can be improved through hard work, open mind and self-change, whether it is high or low. Warning that you may often get into complicated thoughts, be sure to keep a clear head. High IQ does not necessarily mean high EQ. The balance between the two is worth fighting for, but don't be trapped because your IQ looks low; Many people with high IQ are lonely, floating and unable to communicate, because they rely too much on their own intelligence to float instead of communicating with others with their feet. Maybe they have profound insight into things, but they are also lonely and unable to recognize themselves. EQ is always ready to communicate with others, realizing that there is always a lot to learn, even a genius. Also be careful of the other side of emotional intelligence. Some people are so dependent on others that they are at a loss in the face of constant challenges. In this case, your EQ needs to be balanced more than speeding. Some ideas are stale after being tested and falsified. Try to be friendly to people and seek common ground while reserving differences. Open-mindedness does not mean that racial prejudice, racial persecution and genocide under the pretext of health are treated equally. This means understanding why other people are so afraid of racial division that they think it necessary to exclude them.