1, as the saying goes: laugh and the whole world laughs with you; You cried. You are the only one crying in the world.

The longest love I have ever talked about is narcissism. I love myself and have no rival in love.

3. Crowding buses is a comprehensive sport including Sanda, yoga, judo, balance beam and other physical fitness programs.

4, the real warrior, idolize, ugly ugly, fat greedy, sleepy staying up late, not doing homework. How bold people are, how late homework is delayed, and the dead mouse doesn't feel cold. The more homework, the bigger the wave!

5. Don't rob me. Although I can't be coquettish, I can wrestle.

6. A boy takes you to play games, and he doesn't care about winning or losing. He doesn't like or get angry, not because he likes you very much, but because he has admitted that he can't win with you.

This joke is so funny that I have to watch a tragedy to calm my mood.

8. God is fair. He let you spend Singles' Day and won't let you spend Valentine's Day!

9. I have a bad temper, bad grades, bad temper, bad personality and bad looks. The only thing that can make me proud is: easy to digest!

10, if you watch a big tree become an exercise book, do you still have the heart to do your homework? In order to protect nature, we don't do our homework.

1 1, it's good that you left, otherwise I would have been worried that you would stay for dinner.

12, I tried to eat my sadness one by one, but I ate meatballs one by one.

13, I wish you future generations! * * * Enjoy your family! Have you thought of your grandson's name? I'm already up.

14, adolescent love is like spiritual opium. Whether you smoke or not, there are a group of Lin Zexu standing behind you.

15, I moved to a new office, the bathroom was in the corner, and the cell phone didn't work, which quickly cured me of constipation for many years.

16, the furthest distance in the world is not the distance between life and death, but the temperature difference between inside and outside the bed in winter.

17, tell me your home address, I want to change it into a public toilet.

18. Every time I see someone spitting gum in the toilet, I feel extremely angry. It still tastes when chewed. Why are you vomiting?

19, some women get scared when it thunders in rainy days, and even scare their babies to death. At night, the DJ in the bar exploded loudly, one black and one bright. Why haven't I seen you scared? Shake it hard, your mother doesn't even know you.

20. I never hold grudges. Usually I report my grievances on the spot.

2 1, everybody, does anyone want an iPhoneX? If so, please leave a comment on the color and memory you want. If you look good, please send me a link directly. By noon tomorrow 12, I will draw three lucky friends and announce which three people are so thick-skinned.

22. New definition of moonlight clan: I will eat whatever the dog eats at the beginning of the month, and I will eat whatever the dog eats at the end of the month.

23, the same is meat, why is it very popular on the chest and so annoying on the stomach? Is this geographical discrimination?

24. Mosquito, you have hands and feet. Why don't you get a job and live a good life?

25, although the famous flowers are taken, I will loosen the soil! It is difficult for rich people to have no money!

What's wrong with being ugly? I can't see it myself. It's you who's disgusting.

27. The first guy who knows that milk can be drunk, what did you do to the cow?

28. When I went to the barber's shop, the barber gave me a look after tying a scarf, and praised me, saying that the beauty's eyes are so big! I said: Brother, if you tighten up a little, I can still stick out my tongue.

29, thin and fat came back from home, and the local accent did not change. Children will exclaim who you are when they see strangers, fatty. Horizontal batch: clothes are tight and return to China.

30. Every time someone is mean to me, I think there is something wrong with this person. In the face of such a lovely me, he can still lose his temper and be speechless.

3 1. There is only one way in the world. No one can go except you. Where did he go? Stop asking. Let's go. When a person doesn't know where your path will lead him, you have climbed higher than ever before.

32. It's mine. Do not move. If it's not mine, put it there for me.

33. People can't lower their noble heads, except when picking up money.

Recently, I discovered a terrible reality: everything is going up in price, but I am getting cheaper and cheaper! Looks like it's time to raise the price!

35. Spring is never partial. She sent a spring to everyone.

36. Someone once said to me: You are so handsome! I immediately replied: not handsome, not handsome, just long.

I really miss being a child. I can go shirtless like a man when it's hot!

38. There are two things that others can't take away. One is the food you eat in your stomach, and the other is the dream you hide in your heart. Therefore, as a dreamy foodie, you are invincible!

39. At the age of teenage flowers, you grow into a succulent plant.

40. Middle age is a journey to the west! The pressure of Wukong, Bajie's figure, Lao Sha's hairstyle and Tang Priest's trip are getting closer and closer to the west.

4 1, I'm a little tacky, a little boring and cute! A little lazy, a little bad, a little smart, a little rogue! Say rogue is rogue, slick love! You want to love me, then love me.

42. All along, the four spiritual pillars that support my progress in life are: waiting for work, waiting for Friday, waiting for express delivery and waiting for salary.

43. To tell the truth, I am really good in bed. I can sleep in bed for a day without eating, drinking or going to the toilet.

44. When I get angry, winter comes; When you get angry in winter, you become a long-sleeved man.

45. Outside the pavilion, beside the ancient road, fork fork, don't laugh. Although I can't remember this ancient poem, I will always remember you! I wish you happiness forever!

46. Every time you go shopping, people will tell you that if you really want it, I will give you a cheaper price. You see, sincerity is so worthless!

47. Not everyone can read, and those who can read are not good children.

48. What is a real brother? Is when a brother needs a woman, stand up and be his woman.

49. Don't call children rabbits, because from a genetic point of view, it is not good for parents.

50. Look in the mirror at night and see your snow-white body. Sigh: Good cabbage! Why can't I find a pig?

5 1. Do you know why you feel so sleepy at school? Because school is where dreams begin.

52, some things, knowing that it is wrong, still insist, because we are not willing; Some people, knowing love, have to give up because there is no ending; Sometimes, knowing that the road has gone, we are still moving forward because we are used to it.

Don't say sorry to me, because we are all fine.

54. The north wind is blowing, and the autumn wind is cool. If you are in trouble, I will help you. I live next door. My name is Wang.

The threshold for doing anything in this era has become so high. Want to be an otaku, can you afford a house?

56. My name is Xiao Cute. When you grow up, you are called big cute. When I get old, I'll call it Old Cute. I'm cute when I'm dead.

When we were young, we often made faces in the mirror. In old age, mirrors are flat.

58. After this busy period, you can continue to be busy for a while.

59. Besides marrying you and transferring money, don't take your likes and misses too seriously. It is better to make a lot of money if you are caring and careful.

Whenever a boy says that he has cleaned up his room, the standard usually means that the road from the door to the bed has been opened.

6 1. I am small-minded but not lacking. I have a good temper, but not without it.

62. Even if I scold you at ordinary times, I won't know that I am both civil and military until I hit you.

I wanted to give life a kiss, but reality gave me two slaps.

64. Everyone has a dark side. If you say you are simple, I can only say that you are not human!

65. Everything in the world is like this. The more you think about it, the less complete it is.

66. I just wanted to turn gracefully, but I accidentally hit the wall!

Interesting sentences make people laugh.

First, every time I walk alone at night, I'm so scared. It's so dark and I'm so beautiful. I'm afraid others can't see me.

Second, who said that "if you don't forget it, there will be repercussions"? The person you like never talks to me and wants to get rich overnight, which has never come true.

An employee bought a cup with "I want a raise" printed on it. Point these words at the boss at every meeting. Finally one day, the boss also bought a cup, which said "fuck off"!

Every time I see a thin person in the street, I want to share some meat with her because I have a kind heart.

Fifth, everyone is: I don't know what I am doing, but I am deepening; Only I am different, I am: money is nowhere to be found, as poor as a church mouse.

6. When I was shopping, the security guard at the door called me, "Wait a minute, what's in your bulging clothes?" I lifted my coat angrily and shouted, "it's meat, it's meat!" My own. "

Seven, those who can't get through are not all because of your short legs!

Eight, others look good when they smile, but you are different. You look funny.

Never quarrel with your parents, because you will only be scolded if you win, and you will only be beaten if you win.

X. "what is the experience of being ugly but in good shape?" "Looking back at the country, worrying about the country and the people."

Eleven, "ask yourself, if you were someone else, would you like to have sex with yourself?" "I can't even think about it, how can I have such a blessing!"

Twelve, money and face are called male gods, money and face are called husbands, and money and face are called blue faces. As for the poor, I'm sorry you are a good man ... ah, what a painful understanding!

Thirteen, if I am in love, it doesn't matter if I am late; If I get rich, please do it now!

Fourteen, every time I go shopping, many people send me small advertisements and leaflets. Alas, this is me, I am so beautiful.

Fifteen, the three tragedies of the dinner: the person to be invited didn't come, the person who came had nothing to do with you, and only you were awake when you checked out.

You can't have your cake and eat it, but you can have both poverty and ugliness, and fat and short can go hand in hand.

Seventeen, there is a heart for knowledge, but it happened that a failed life was born; I have a heart to lose weight, but I live a life of eating goods. Horizontal criticism: I can't help myself.

18. I just went to a small shop to buy water. When I saw my boss asleep in the rocking chair, the proprietress kicked him. I feel so affectionate in an instant. I couldn't bear to disturb them, so I took two bottles of coke and left quietly.

Nineteen, there are two kinds of looks, one is good-looking, the other is ugly, you belong to the medium, so ugly.

Twenty, the teacher made a pair of upper couplet: ginger is still old and spicy, so let the students make a pair of lower couplet. Xiao Ming immediately took out the next couplet: breasts are still bigger than women. Teacher: Xiaoming, get out of here.

2 1. I went to the supermarket to buy things today, and I saw two monks' shopping carts full. I thought monks were really rich. When I checked out, the cashier asked him if he would pay in cash or by credit card. One of the monks said: We have come to beg alms.

Twenty-two, some women wear stockings, which look good. There are also some women wearing stockings, which shows that the quality is very good.

Twenty-three, God lacked a mobile phone, and Jobs went; God lacked bodyguards, so Bruce Lee went; God lacked singers, so Leslie Cheung went; God, are you short of a class teacher?

Twenty-four, the ancient robbery: I opened this road and planted this tree. Stay and buy money if you want to pass by. After thousands of years of civilization baptism, in today's society, robbery is like this: 500 meters in front of the toll booth, please slow down.

A funny sentence that makes people laugh.

First, fortunately, I am a little fat, and I can feel my stomach when I am sad.

Second, if life deceives you, don't worry, take out your beauty camera and cheat life.

Third, looking for a wife must find two types, one is my favorite type and the other is my favorite type.

Fourth, full of wisdom, abruptly propped up my face.

5. Being in a daze, well done, is called deep. Bad work ... easy to fall asleep.

Six, it is suitable for sleeping at home on snowy days, and it is suitable for going out for a walk on sunny days. For a long time, there was actually no day suitable for work.

I know it's not good to waste time, but I really enjoy it.

Eight, in fact, there is no need to read all the travel guides and condense them into four words: bring more money.

Nine, with your appearance, there is no need to lose weight at all. Now you can use obesity as an excuse for ugliness, but after losing weight, there is no excuse.

Ten, the real warrior dare to face up to the balance on the bank card, dare to face up to the numbers on the scale.

Eleven, you should eat enough and go to bed early, don't rely on your ugliness to eat seaweed at will, and stay up late at will.

Twelve, China synchronized diving, daughter-in-law and mother-in-law should be the best pair of partners, because for decades, they always fall at the same time.

Thirteen, whether you are doing well or not, others don't know, but everyone knows when you are fat.

14. The biggest failure in life is the Tang Priest. People around him, whether friends or enemies, always want to send him to the west.

15. I believe there must be someone in this world who doesn't mind all your shortcomings, such as freckles and acne, flat chest and fat legs, rudeness and laziness. This man is your rival in love.

Sixteen, why grandma likes granddaughter's wife, but she doesn't like daughter-in-law, because the enemy of my enemy is my friend!

Seventeen, there are only three things that hurt people: worry, quarrel, and empty wallet. And the most hurtful thing is an empty wallet.

18. Finding someone to pay back the money is like unrequited love. I always feel embarrassed when I say it. When you get up the courage to say it, it becomes like confession. Maybe you don't even have friends!

Nineteen, a day without reading, no one can see; Began to curse without studying for a week; If you don't study in January, your IQ will be lost to pigs.

I just made a very risky investment. If I succeed, I can make hundreds of millions at once. If I fail, I will beat Shui Piao with these two dollars.

21. What is Su En's love dying fast? It means that girls sleep on the shoulders of boys every day. Finally, the boy got scapulohumeral periarthritis and the girl got cervical spondylosis and died.

I hate this world of looking at faces, so I don't know who really loves me.

When I was born, God asked me whether I should have a good memory or be beautiful. I have forgotten what I answered at that time.

Twenty-four, the girl said that she couldn't find the object, that is, she stood in front of the vending machine and couldn't find her favorite drink. When a boy says he can't find someone, he is standing in the Sahara desert. When he says he doesn't, he really doesn't!

25. My boyfriend and I broke up. I just wanted to reply to scold him, but he said it was wrong. This is a false alarm.