Many people know some classic jokes. Such positive energy jokes can not only make us laugh, but also bring us a positive attitude. Let's share the positive energy with you.

Positive energy clean paragraph 1 1 When I first entered school, the whole class introduced myself. A male student stepped onto the platform: "My name is Wang Peng, from Beijing. I love playing chess! " Then I went down. The next one is a girl. The woman shyly stepped onto the platform and introduced herself with trepidation: "I ... my name is Shakuyaku ..."

2. A man asked his girlfriend, do you know what men like to hear from women? My girlfriend said, I love you. Boyfriend said, no, that's it. After that, the boyfriend squeezed his girlfriend's hand hard, and the girlfriend shouted, Ah ~ ~ ~ I hurt my boyfriend and said, Yes, that's it.

A millionaire was told that he was terminally ill and had only half a year to live. He found a killer when he was sad and asked him to kill him when he was happiest. A few days later, the millionaire was told that he was misdiagnosed, laughed happily and was killed by the killer.

4. I felt very tired after sending a Weibo after eating in the restaurant last night. I suddenly remembered the online method of relaxing my eyes, so I wanted to try it. Rub your hands first, then cover your eyes with your hands, relax, empty your head and think nothing for five minutes. Five minutes later, let go of your hands, and the mobile phone on the desk was gone.

5, you are happy on a hot day, pay attention to your health on special days, gently wind you, don't let the sun shine on you!

6. A battery car hit a pedestrian on the road, and the pedestrian couldn't get up on the ground. Then the battery owner picked up the car and ran, and the pedestrians got up to catch up …

7. When a best friend quarrels with her boyfriend, no one will be soft. She hit the wall with her hand in anger, and her boyfriend immediately regretted his mistake and apologized. I wrote it down after I heard about it. I used this trick when I quarreled with my boyfriend today. Who knew this wall was too pitted? As soon as I smashed the slag, my boyfriend plopped down on his knees!

8. Falling in love with an impossible person is like waiting for a boat at the train station. This sentence sounds like a strange ship not coming. In fact, it means that you are out of your mind and have to wait at the train station, but the boat hasn't come, and you still have to rely on others.

9. I got engaged to my girlfriend in Mid-Autumn Festival and plan to get married at the end of this year. Yesterday, I went to my future father-in-law's house for a day, and the final transaction price was 8 yuan a catty.

10, I picked a mobile phone today and wanted to return it to the owner, so I found a number in his mobile phone and called (the owner's sister). After the other party connected, I said, brother, what's the matter? I said, are you the sister of the owner of this mobile phone? I found your brother's cell phone! She listened and said, oh, wait a minute. Then I hung up. In about a minute. The phone rang, and as soon as I answered it, I heard that the other person was a woman and said, Brother, you found your mobile phone!

1 1. Behind every successful man, there is a woman who is full and has nothing to do.

12, my wife went out to collect debts and returned empty-handed a few months later. The husband said angrily, "You are really incompetent!" The wife said disapprovingly, "although I didn't get the money, the boss's child was taken hostage by me!" " The husband was overjoyed and asked, "Where are you?" The wife patted her belly and said, "It's locked in! "

13, before marriage-man: "honey, can I slap you?" Woman: "Yes, but you have to buy me beautiful clothes." After marriage-wife: "Honey, how about slapping tonight?" Husband: "No, shall I buy you beautiful clothes tomorrow?"

14, I wanted to buy snacks at night, and my mother stopped me and asked me, "Don't you lose weight?" I said, "Hey, I have a boyfriend anyway, and someone wants it." Then my mother looked at me for a long time and said a very inspirational sentence: "Don't you want to change?" .

15, a leader slept with a young lady after getting drunk. The phone rang, and the young lady answered the phone: "Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is drunk, please dial again tomorrow!" " "The next day, the leader's wife cursed:" How much wine did you drink yesterday? China Mobile knows it. .

16, the goddess who pursued for many years finally ignored me, and her attitude was quite good. She said this: "How do you want your hair cut?"

17, in this life, people should not only fall in love at first sight, but also be blind once.

18. How to express I love you in Chinese? I have an ancestor's chromosome that I want to give you.

19 My son came home trembling: "Dad, I only got 60 points in the exam today." Dad is very angry: "Don't call me dad next time you fail the exam!" " "The next day, my son came back:" I'm sorry, brother! " "

20. When I was a child, my teacher told me that everyone has a diligent villain and a lazy villain. You hesitate, they fight. Diligent villains often beat lazy villains out of the water in primary school, tied in junior high school, and lazy villains often win in high school. But when I got to the university, I suddenly found that they stopped playing, and the damn diligent little man was killed. . . .

2 1, a classmate said to the teacher, "Teacher, what you teach is useless." As a result, the teacher replied, "I don't allow you to say that about yourself."

22. A boy said to his girlfriend, "I want to break up. I feel bored and have no feelings." His girlfriend said something to him that made him speechless at once. "Hundreds of millions of people in China have long been tired of the national football team. I haven't felt it for a long time. Why didn't the national football team dissolve? 1300 million people's troubles failed to dissolve a team of 1 1 people. Now you say you are bored and want to dissolve the team of two people? ! No

23. A friend, a fruit seller, said that he didn't make any money after selling for more than ten years, but he never wanted to change careers. The reason is that my fruit stall table is very low, and a large number of beautiful women bow their heads to pick fruits every day is my motivation to persist!

24. While eating, a female colleague said anxiously, "I may become popular." Everyone was curious and asked, "What's the matter?" "Just found that I lost a USB flash drive, 8 g.. . .

25. Last time someone gave me a bag of macadamia nuts, I chewed it with my teeth, knocked it on the ground, squeezed it with the door, knocked it with a hammer, and finally finished it. Then I touched a bottle opener under the bag.

26. Ten years later, we met again inadvertently. She asked me in a low voice, "How have you been these years? She is good to you. " I was sad and said, "I'm not married, and I've been waiting for you." Her eyes were red and she said, "Come to the guest house at seven o'clock in the evening." On Qixi night, the moon was like a hook. I arrived at the hotel half an hour early with flowers in my hand. She welcomed me in, greeted me to sit down, and asked faintly, "Have you heard of Amway?" ……

27. I am a neat freak, and I can't tolerate other people's cockroaches coming to my house to grab something to eat with my little cockroach.

Politically, we need people who can give something, not people who want something.

2. On the road of life, drop by drop of blood to feed others. Although I feel thinner gradually, I feel happy.

But as long as you climb a flight of stairs, you can broaden your horizons by 300 miles.

4, jade is not cut, not a weapon; People don't learn or know.

A drop of water will never dry up unless it is put into the sea. Only when a person integrates himself into the collective cause can he be most powerful.

6. As long as you have strong willpower, you are naturally capable, intelligent and knowledgeable.

7. Only living for others is worthwhile.

8. I live to make others live better.

9. Let's turn our worries into thinking and planning beforehand!

10, the more setbacks in life, the more insights in life; One more fall and one more struggle in life.

1 1, the establishment of important events in life is not knowing, but being able to do it.

12, any restriction comes from your own heart.

13, if you are afraid of the ups and downs of the rocks ahead, life will always be a stagnant pool.

14, if one day, you happen to see these words, I hope this part of Zhong Zhen belongs to you. Here, you cheer for yourself, continue to fulfill your dream, bravely challenge yourself and experience yourself!

15, life will not deny anyone, I am afraid I will deny life.

16. If we want to change our lives, the first step is to change our mentality. As long as we have the right attitude, our world will be bright.

17. Bowing your head is an ability. It's not inferiority or cowardice. This is a sober change. Sometimes, if we lower our heads a little, or our life path will be more exciting.

18, I don't care if you don't like me. Because I don't live to please you!

19, when I feel unlucky, I will think: this is my bad luck, and after that, the rest is good luck!

20. What if I come last? At least I'm athletic. And I will definitely run the whole course, as long as I run to the finish line, I will succeed!

The third paragraph of the positive energy clean joke 1, a lot of ideas come out every day, and immortality is called a dream.

2, there is no life without progress, only people who do not make progress!

3. Don't travel, don't take risks, talk about a love life, but never try it. Every day, just hang up QQ, brush Weibo, visit Taobao and do what you can do at the age of 80. What's the use of being young?

4, don't cover your eyes for trifles, we still have a bigger world.

5, the responsibility is to be borne from now on, parents are not young, and they will pay it back in time when they can. Don't always feel that there is still a lot of time, and time waits for no one.

6. Over the years, everyone has his own story. Only when you are pessimistic will you be beautiful, and when you are optimistic, you will be brilliant. Take a break when you are tired, dance with the wind, be quiet when you are bored, stare at the flowers and plants, slow down when you are anxious, and smile at yourself.

7. People suffer because they can't get it and they can't give up. When God gives you a big gift, he will package it with many difficulties. Don't give up the bottom line at any time. Only when your mind stands up straight, life will not tilt.

8. Wise people let go of the present, fools let go of despair, and the height of letting go is the degree of happiness; The premise of a person's happiness is not that he has the ability to change the world, but that he has the perseverance to change himself.

9. If one day we get lost in the crowd and live a mediocre life, it is because we have not tried to live a rich life.

10, be good at communicating with others and adopt others' opinions appropriately.

1 1. Hurt is brought by others, happiness is found by yourself, you can cry if you want, and laugh after crying. No one can confiscate anyone's happiness.

12, sad, quiet alone, don't cry in front of anyone, I can't forgive my cowardice.

13, popularity is often not a resource, but a kind of dependence and an invisible force. Friends are your backing and can give you the most timely help when you are in trouble.

14, the body is your own, health is your own, and discomfort is also your own. Don't eat whatever you want.

15, life is not really perfect, only imperfection is the truest beauty; Life is not smooth sailing, only through thorns can it be smooth sailing; There is no eternal success in life, only standing up in setbacks is the real success, and only a shining life is the eternity of life.

16, life, many things are like this, life, many feelings are like this, no reason, no reason, love is love, like is like, no result, no result, willingness, no regrets.

17, a failure can only prove that our determination to succeed is strong enough.

18, life is only a few decades, so why be afraid of this failure and that failure? When you really work hard, God will take care of you, but you may die on your successful night.

19, this society is unfair, don't complain, because it's useless! People always make progress in reflection!

No matter how long the road is, you can walk it step by step. No matter how short the road is, you can't walk without taking your feet.

Positive energy and clean paragraph 4. First of all, you must think clearly before you come near me. I have nothing but good looks.

Second, if you feel sick, don't search online. Make a will after every search.

Third, look at beautiful women in the street. If you look up, you will appreciate them, and if you look down, you will be hooligans.

Fourth, eat enough and go to bed early. Don't stay up because you are ugly.

I found that there are two kinds of people, one is mentally ill, and the other is with low IQ, which is not enough for mental illness.

I have lived half my life, and I really want to do something for the economic development of my motherland, but I am not qualified to pay taxes!

Seven, the exam is a person's business, but the score is a matter of seven aunts and eight aunts and a group of people next door, such as Lao Wang.

Eight, good-looking people generally experience more stories, and ugly people generally hear more stories.

Don't always belong to single dog, single dog. You should be a single turtle by age, a single pig by size and a single fool by IQ.

Ten, losing weight is not so easy, every catty of meat has its temper, after eating fat, it is better to give up if you are entangled.

1 1. Don't always compare yourself with others. You envy others for being thin, others envy you for having a good stomach, you envy others for being rich, and others envy no one to borrow money from you.

Twelve, some people's depression is melodramatic, some people's procrastination is lazy, some people's obsessive-compulsive disorder is idle eggs, and some people's insomnia is sleeping too much in class.

Thirteen, since I saw your household registration photos, I realized that it was so simple to give up a person I like.

14. Don't look at other people's smooth sailing on the surface, but it is also smooth sailing behind them.

Fifteen, give yourself a little confidence, don't sit in the right position when others mention fat, because you may not be able to sit down!

Sixteen, when a group of mosquitoes attacked in teams, for the first time in my life, I felt that I was the boss or a copy of the game, and I would lose blood.

Seventeen, the only difference between high school and university is that the dog food in high school is secretly distributed, and the dog food in university is smashed face to face.

When you are angry with your boyfriend, first calm down and think about whether it is your own fault. If it is, then think about how to put it on your boyfriend.

Nineteen, if you are a meteor, I will chase you; If you are a star, I will follow you; If you are a satellite, I will lock you; It's a pity that you are a gorilla. I can only see you in the zoo!

20. When the temperature dropped to a few degrees, a colleague in our office actually wore short sleeves to work. The leader asked him, "Aren't you afraid of the cold?" He said, "I'm not even afraid of poverty. Will I be afraid of the cold? "

Twenty-one, take a step back If you can't broaden your horizons, then take a few more steps; If you can't calm down for a while, just bear it for a few more minutes.

Don't smile at me with your pirated Mona Lisa smile. My stomach is not as strong as you think.

23. Q: Why don't I have a boyfriend? A: If you can take a selfie, why don't you have a boyfriend?

People used to say, "stay at home if you have nothing to do, or you will have to spend money when you go out." Now that times have changed, it is easier to spend money at home.