My daughter has recently learned ballet, and one of her movements is more complicated. She couldn't learn it several times and began to cry anxiously. I said to her, "Never mind, let's practice slowly.". But she couldn't calm down. She just kept crying.

I was a little impatient at first, and felt that there was nothing to worry about such a trivial matter. Just learn slowly. But I immediately realized my emotions, and then it suddenly occurred to me that I could use the coaching problem of an emotional coach to help my daughter deal with her emotional problems!

So I started asking her a coach question.

I asked, "I saw you crying. Why are you crying? "

The daughter still sobbed and said nothing.

I continued to ask, "Do you feel that you can't learn because you have studied for several times, that it's so difficult, and that the exam is coming soon, so you are worried?" Or, do you feel that you can't learn anything, that you are a little stupid and dissatisfied with yourself? "

The daughter nodded and said nothing, but she stopped crying.

Me: "You find it difficult and anxious, right?"

Daughter: "Yes, it's so hard. I feel dizzy. I can't learn at all. "

Me: "What should we do in the face of difficulties?"

Daughter: "I don't know."

Me: "Do you want to hear mom's opinion?"

Daughter: "Yes."

Me: "In the face of difficulties, we have only two choices. The first is to give up and stop doing it, which is the simplest. Another option is to face it and then overcome it. We have no third choice, only two, either you give up or you beat it. Are you going to give up now? "

The daughter shook her head vigorously: "No, I don't want it!"

Me: "Since we can't give up, we must choose to face and overcome this road. Then are you willing to overcome it? "

The daughter nodded.

Me: "You see, many people want to learn dancing, and some even want to be dancers when they grow up. However, in the process of learning dance, in fact, everyone will constantly encounter many difficulties. Many people give up when they encounter difficulties, so they can't realize their dreams in the end. So are you going to give up now or choose to overcome it? "

The daughter said loudly, "No, I don't want to give up!" " I want to be a dancer! "

Me: "Good, very brave! Since you have chosen to overcome it, let's think about how to overcome this difficulty together, ok? "

The daughter nodded hard.

Me: "What do you think is a good idea?"

The daughter shook her head again.

Me: "Are you unfamiliar and can't remember?"

She nodded her head.

Me: "It's normal not to remember the first thing. Is there any way to help us from unskilled to skilled? "

Daughter: "Practice more."

Me: "Yes, just practice more. Practice makes perfect. Is there any other good way to help us remember the dance steps? You can go back and ask the teacher tomorrow. Talk to the teacher about your current difficulties and see if the teacher has any good suggestions. Or you can think about it yourself. Is there any good way? "

After listening, the daughter nodded again, and then skipped to do other things happily.

Before going to bed at night, my daughter said, "Mom, actually I just practiced that dance a few times by myself, and I feel much better."

Me: "Wow, you took the initiative to practice? It's great that you can be responsible for your choices! So have you found some methods now? "

Daughter: "I was really anxious. Later, I found that it would be better to practice a few more times. "

Me: "Do you have the confidence to do well now?"

Daughter: "Yes."

Me: "After overcoming the difficulties, do you think it is not as difficult as you thought?" Does it feel great to overcome difficulties? "

Daughter: "Yes."

Me: "This is a process of our growth. We not only learned a dance, but also gained the courage to overcome difficulties. How nice! "

In the whole communication process, I have been trying to inspire my daughter to think with coaching questions.

In fact, I have been encountering difficulties in my own growth. I just put my own thinking and exploration process, and let my daughter experience and think through the way of the coach's question, and get her own answer.

I still remember when coach Juanzi helped me to sort out my emotions. He asked, "You have only two ways now, either to return to your original state or to overcome difficulties and hope to get what you want. Do you want to return to the original state, or are you willing to work hard to overcome difficulties, but you may get what you want? " At that moment, I felt my inner voice: I don't want to return to the original state, I want to stick to it and get what I want!

So, what I want to inspire my daughter is that if you want to give up, you may have to say goodbye to the one you love. But if you overcome difficulties and persevere, you can make continuous progress. If you want to realize your ideal and love, you can only choose to face and overcome difficulties.

I am glad that I am constantly learning and growing, and I help my children through my own growth. This is also a great gain for me.