Although I didn't live to be brilliant, 30 years old is still a memorable year for me, because it has brought me the most physical and mental changes and feelings.
Being a mother for the first time, please take care of me.
/kloc-in July of 0/7, I found out that I had a baby without warning, and then I worked overtime with the baby in my stomach until late at night as the project approached. Because I am busy, pregnancy seems to be getting faster, and the baby is born unconsciously. In fact, I was determined to have a natural birth, or the newborn calf was not afraid of tigers, or I wanted to experience the feeling of being a mother once, but God seemed to set a test for me. In the 36th week, the day after I just finished my work, I was diagnosed with cholestasis. I was going to enjoy a happy life of eating and drinking Lazar at home for two weeks, but I didn't expect to be hospitalized so soon. At that time, I was really worried when I knew that the situation was not very good, because after nine months, the whole person became fat and ugly, and normal people could not accept changing their feet. Besides, the doctor has been asking me to decide whether the incision is smooth or not, and I'm not sure. It's a life. Besides, it's the baby who will meet me soon. I don't want anything to happen to him. After two days of continuous observation, it didn't get better after taking the medicine. The doctor cut it for me decisively, and I was relieved that I didn't have to make my own choice. So in this case, Lebao met his mother at 0: 35 am 165438+ on March 5th. Although the only thought before birth is that the baby is safe, when I first saw Bao Xiao crumpled like a little old man, I thought how ugly it was, hahaha, I hope Bao Xiao won't hear it. Another thing that LeBao had better not hear is how his name came from. When I was pregnant, I drove to Mark to pick me up because I brought my computer back to work overtime every day. The morning and evening rush hour in Shanghai is the most heard in the car. The two well-known hosts are Bowen and Tianle. Finally, we chose Tianle as the baby's name. Okay, I admit we're a little casual.
I don't know whether it is his mother's character or his father's character. Lebao was easy to get four months ago. He is an angel baby, seldom cries, and can sleep when he is basically full, so people don't worry too much. In the meantime, I should be grateful to my in-laws, especially my mother-in-law who sleeps with me and takes care of Bao Xiao, because it is useless for Mark to accidentally break his wrist and have an operation while playing football. My mother-in-law is about 2 months old and takes care of Bao Xiao and me. After four months, I will start to get sick and become delicate, even eating bottles and drinking water has become the biggest problem.
To tell the truth, when I was a mother for the first time, all my knowledge was learned from books, websites and pregnant mothers, and some of them were contradictory. For example, I say let nature take its course and resolutely break it. Although I wanted to break it off for him, my old mother couldn't hold back when he screamed at night. Finally, taking the opportunity of a week's business trip in Thailand, I broke his mind, and by the way, even his breast was completely broken. In fact, the baby is forgetful, but as an old mother, I feel a little lost, and the relationship with the baby is also a rupture that others can't surpass.
With such a lovely and worrying little thing, I have less time and feel less communication with my husband. And this is also a thing that bothers me. Before giving birth to a baby, I always adhered to the principle that the relationship between husband and wife is greater than that between parents and children. But after giving birth to the baby, especially when the baby is still young, don't talk about the relationship between husband and wife, and even take care of it. Get up every morning and go to work in a hurry, and come back from work to make up for the regret of not seeing the baby for a day. Play with the baby until around 9 o'clock. He goes to bed, reads by himself, takes a bath and sleeps, and then looks at my mobile phone in bed. Indeed, there is too little communication between them. And this is actually a terrible thing. In the new year, I hope that they are not only the roles of mom and dad, but also the roles of husband and wife.
As a mother, I am a beginner. I often feel overwhelmed and overwhelmed. Of course, there are times when I want to lose my temper and don't want to do anything. Especially in the middle of the night, the baby got up from the warm bed and stood and hugged. No sooner had he put down 1 minute than he began to cry again. He's still standing on you, giving you water, not giving it to grandma. I really want to throw it away. I wonder if there are many old mothers like me. Lebao is almost 10 months old, and the days when he can sleep are numbered. Once I had a high fever and couldn't breastfeed, and once I was on my last two business trips. Although grandparents are distressed that we have to go to work and want to help us share it, as a working mother, we have less time to spend with our baby, so even if we are tired, we hope to spend as much time with him as possible, even if he doesn't really understand. When I was videotaping with you, you didn't react much when you called him. But maybe this is maternal love, the sense of responsibility after being a parent. And this kind of effort is actually an effort that does not ask for returns.
Ji Bolun said in the poem On Children that parents are like bows and arrows, and children are like that arrow. The task of this bow is to shoot this arrow far away. As for that goal, the child should actually find it himself. I wish I could bow.
Author's original text:
About children
Your child is not your child.
They are the sons and daughters of life's longing for themselves.
They came through you, but not from you,
Although they are with you, they don't belong to you.
You can give them your love, but not your thoughts.
Because they have their own ideas.
You can accommodate their bodies, but not their souls.
Because their souls live in tomorrow's house,
You can't go even in your dreams.
You can try to be like them,
But don't try to make them like you,
Because life will not go backwards, nor will it stay yesterday.
You are your child's bow
Like a living arrow.
The shooter saw the sign on the infinite road,
He used his power to bring you to your knees,
His arrow shoots fast and far.
Let you bend happily in the hands of archers;
Because even though he loves flying arrows,
So he also likes a stable bow.
I am not only Lebao's mother, but also a complete self.
Although after becoming a mother, my time will be greatly compressed, especially as a working mother. Fortunately, I still have a heart that yearns for freedom and loves growth. Perhaps it can be said that being a mother gives people an example they want to give their children. "Look, mom is still studying." . This year, I joined the "Yanji Society" four-person small community organized by friends. Starting from May, set a different theme every month, then read 2-3 books that fit the theme, discuss everyone's progress, gains and feelings online every Sunday, and communicate face to face in the last week of each month, and finally understand this theme and form your own knowledge framework. Thank you very much for reading, thinking and face-to-face communication in the past six months.
In the past six months, the topics we discussed are: self-orientation, cognitive science, self-frequency modulation, personality development, historical overview, humanistic philosophy, and workplace cultivation. * * * Completed reading, discussion and output of 23 books.
Seven habits, principles and the fifth discipline of highly effective people-the art and practice of learning organization.
Golden Pagoda Principle, Metacognition, Transition and Flow.
Non-violent communication and emotional intelligence
Selfish genes, the road to character.
Social animals, a brief history of mankind, a brief history of Europe that you must love to read, stirred for thirty years: China Enterprise 1978-2008, stirred for ten years, big fish in the water: China Enterprise 2008-20 18, a brief history of Chinese philosophy.
Peace of Life, Letters from Fu Lei, Wisdom of Life, Autobiography of Franklin.
McKinsey method, the negotiation weapon McKinsey taught me: from logical thinking to negotiation skills, rich dad, poor dad.
In fact, reading is just a personal hobby, not something to show off. And reading is not the final result. Only when reading leads to thinking and production will it be really useful. 90% of these books left a deep impression on me, which caused me to think and think, and can be applied to my practice. For example, in Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, I have been trying to practice two habits of being proactive and putting things first. In the process of defending rights with the developer, I took the initiative as the owner's representative, contacted the law firm in many ways and communicated with the other two sisters many times. More than 20 owners in final gathering confirmed the agency right of the law firm. Although we don't know the final result, we always need someone to take the initiative to do it, and only when we do it will we know the result. In the process of training, we will also actively interact with teachers. Judging from the psychological color, I am a blue-skinned person, not an extrovert. Therefore, it is more necessary to practice on the active road for a long time. When it comes to priorities, it's not enough. Maybe sometimes you don't clear your mind and don't know what is really important. Maybe sometimes you don't have enough self-control and focus your time and energy on unimportant things, which affects the decision-making and implementation of important things. Being conscious is a good thing, and the most important thing is to practice repeatedly. Of course, the most important function of this book for me is to help me establish my life mission and vision for the first time. Observing without evaluation, expressing feelings without expressing opinions, telling the needs that lead to feelings, and putting forward specific requirements mentioned in non-violent communication also help me provide a mirror in interpersonal communication. Don't comment on people, don't judge each other subjectively according to his past behavior, the most important thing is to make specific demands, not to escape or insult people. This is actually quite difficult, especially for our close family and friends. Stream is also a book after my short meeting. In fact, I have written a summary for three years in a row. There is always a sentence in every New Year's wish list to find what you like, but you are very confused and ignorant about what you like. Of course, I don't know now. But there will always be a moment when we concentrate on doing one thing, almost to the point of forgetting ourselves, and we don't feel the existence of time, and then we will feel energetic and very satisfied after the final completion. This is actually called "flow". What we have to do is to increase the quantity and things of traffic. Letter from Fu Lei is a book that I didn't plan to read. After reading it, I was very moved. A father's love for his son is so profound and humble. Fu Lei and his lover finally hanged themselves because of that special period. They put a thick quilt under the stool so as not to disturb the neighbors downstairs, and explained the small bills they owed before their death. This is a kind of silent tutor. Wu Xiaobo's "Ten Years' Agitation" and "Thirty Years' Agitation" made me have a more specific understanding of the microeconomics of private enterprises and state-owned enterprises in China in the 40 years after the reform and opening up. When it comes to philosophy, most of them contain fields that I think are very metaphysical and unfamiliar. I didn't expect the peace of life to subvert my cognition, and also let me determine my own philosophy of life-Stoicism. Many of them make me think deeply: it is often not foreign things that hurt us, but our views on things; Fame and fortune can't give people real happiness. What matters is what kind of person you want to be and what kind of life you want to live. Distinguish what you can and can't do; Don't ask for reality according to your own wishes, but determine your own wishes according to reality; Be prepared for the worst or even negative imagination, so as to be prepared for the impermanence of life and personal humbleness. What the Stoics really care about is rationality and inner peace, insisting on daily reflection, rational training and restraining desire. In fact, a sentence by Roman Roland can well interpret the essence of Stoicism: "There is only one idealism in this world, and that is to love life after recognizing the truth of life." As the slave society said, be a realistic idealist.
Last week, we were discussing what changes joining the "Yanji Society" community has brought to us. As far as I'm concerned, I'm a solid reader, and I'll find relevant books to read according to the theme, instead of cramming one thing into another. I will get into the habit of reading without stopping every week, and I will feel empty even if I don't read for a day. More importantly, it will lead to thinking according to reading. What needs to be deepened next is continuous output and the establishment of a whole set of knowledge system, that is, the underlying framework. On the other hand, in addition to reading, starting to make a weekly plan and then implementing it according to it, people are forgetful and their self-control needs to be improved. Making a weekly plan can not miss important things, but also facilitate the resumption of reflection. Of course, the recovery of reflection is also a habit I need to practice again. Ask yourself every day how was your day? What did I do wrong? What can I do better next time I encounter similar things? 20 18, everyone said that this may be the most difficult year in the past decade. There is a kind of anxiety in society, and everyone has a sense of insecurity. Everyone tries to make money. Face-to-face communication between people has become extravagant or not deep enough because of the improvement of information access convenience. Yanji Society's monthly face-to-face communication, with theme but random form, really brought me a kind of pleasure outside the secular world. I like and cherish this kind of communication, and I hope we can have more communication in the future.
I know I'm not perfect
I am actually a person with low self-recognition, so I once felt a little inferior. It is precisely because I have been learning self-acceptance for so many years that I can live in peace with myself, so I can also accept some of my bad habits frankly. For example, people around you are demanding and have strong self-control, which makes them feel a little depressed. Sometimes I am not particularly sensitive to each other's feelings, so maybe the other person is not very comfortable, I don't know. I have been reflecting on myself. I really need to be strict with myself and be lenient with others. Give people around you the space they deserve, let others grow, and let themselves grow. Of course, sometimes it is misleading to do stupid things with good intentions. I'm also reflecting on why this happened. I may sometimes speak for others, but on the other hand, I deprive them of the right to express and execute. Of course, information transmitted by many parties will be distorted, or it may be unintentionally distorted by the other party. But in a word, it is enough to be yourself and have a good influence. Being comfortable around you means giving people around you the space and rights to decide for themselves.
20 19, be a good mother and be yourself.
There will always be countless goals set in the new year, but I'm afraid only I know how many I have finally accomplished. Even if it is not finished, you still have to set goals for yourself on 20 19, and remember the principle that things come first:
1. Reading-Building a knowledge system of brand marketing
Reference book:
Self-growth categories: bursting, new thinking, black swan, self-seeking (Anwar Sadat), anti-fragility, thinking: fast and slow, influence, reshaping the brain, reshaping life, driving force, running the Bible and only one thing is important.
Lecture: The Secret of TED Speech-18 minutes to change the world, Jobs's magic speech, the last speech, effective speech: Stanford's most popular communication class, the power of speech: how to turn public expression into influence, the world of speech: the skills and methods of speaking on stage and in public, and impromptu speech: grasping the key moments in life.
Marketing and brand: the power of conversation, the most popular negotiation course of Wharton Business School, sociality: the three driving forces of human social communication. The so-called high emotional intelligence means talking, talking: novel and interesting skills to improve speech, streaking in business, marketing principles, consumer behavior and marketing management.
Brand trilogy: managing brand equity, creating strong brand and brand leadership, remolding consumer-brand relationship, sensory marketing, positioning, tipping point: how to cause popularity, the world's greatest salesman, traffic pool and become popular.
Thinking ability: logical thinking only takes five steps, like McKinsey elite's 0-second thinking, six thinking hats, how to establish your unique point of view, thinking ability: Tokyo University open thinking class, 12 thinking class, the art of decision-making, making good decisions, thinking taught by McKinsey. McKinsey's problem analysis and solving skills, A3 thinking method of efficient people, the simplest problem-solving manual in the world, the art of sober thinking, the power of logic, simple logic, and a little blue logic book.
Slimming Slimming-Half Marathon
In fact, the primary goal of 20 19 is to lose weight, so I will resume running. Weekly target 15km, run 3-4 times. I hope to challenge the half marathon for the first time.
In addition, we will arrange time to ride 4 times and walk 2 times.
Enjoy your work-accomplish your goals.
In addition to supporting the family, work can also help us realize our own value and find a sense of accomplishment. After working for a period of time, you will feel that you can't break through the bottleneck. But it doesn't mean that choosing to escape or leave can solve the problem. The most important thing is to find the root causes and key solutions. If you have identified the key solution, the most important thing is to practice it. I can't say this is the right solution, but there is nothing wrong with self-study. I will learn with problems. Of course, it is very important to pave the way for the long-term planning of your career.
Be a good mother-cherish every moment
In a blink of an eye, Lebao is almost 10 months. He has been struggling to stand up and laugh with you since he started calling his mother when he was six months old. You will find that time flies. He will slowly leave your arms and go by himself. I hope that when I am with Lebao, I will be accompanied by high quality and full affection.
have a good command of English
English English English English, I hope to go further. Refer to Windy's method, if you can fully understand The Economist and memorize it, it will be ok.