On the second day after giving birth, it was just me and my mother-in-law in the ward. I can't get out of bed. I asked my mother-in-law to help me shake the bed. She replied directly: "I won't!" I told her how to shake it again and again, but she still insisted, "I won't!" " "
When we leave the hospital and go home, the family put away all kinds of things, stuffed the children into my arms and drove us to the aisle to blow cold air. Then they packed our things and left us. Later, my mother-in-law came back to hold the child and continued to leave me.
4. Husband's 30-day paternity leave, in addition to being hospitalized for 5 days, played games for 25 days, and then disliked the children's troubles and affected sleep. My mother-in-law encouraged me to sleep in separate rooms with my husband. I had a hard time with them and finally stopped.
It's hard for a child to cry at night, and her husband never cares. My mother-in-law always rushes into our room at the first time and blames me for not taking good care of the children.
6. Because the child was too angry to return to milk, he didn't eat milk powder and had to chase milk. Before she could be happy, her mother-in-law said, "You are forced to eat brown sugar. Don't eat my grandson! "
7. Get up at night and coax the children like a wandering soul. It was already midnight when I took a walk with my child in my arms. My family blamed my heavy footsteps and disturbed their sleep.
8. Postpartum depression is caused by many reasons. My husband hasn't said a word to me for 20 days. Afterwards, he blamed me for my bad speech and said that he didn't want to hear it. But if I can spare a hand, I will definitely chop him to death.
9. My child has had a fever for 8 months. I took my children to work in the mountains. I stayed alone all night in fear. Let my husband pick it up at dawn, and when I get home, it is all kinds of accusations from my family.
In fact, this question is very suitable for young men and women who have just got married, want to get pregnant and are already pregnant.
The so-called economic base determines the superstructure.
It is not enough to get married with feelings, but also to have certain economic strength, including having children.
(1) Economic aspects:
Let's not talk about the long term; Children's future education and study, whether there is a school district, which school they go to, and what interest classes they can afford.
First of all, it is relatively close. Is your child breastfed or formula-fed? Can you feed 3-400 cans of formula milk powder?
A child's average diaper 1.2 yuan, about 8 diapers a day. There must be some money.
The early education class is 10 thousand yuan. Do you have the money to let the children go?
By the way, families with better conditions after giving birth to children are all month centers and can't spend 20 thousand or 30 thousand. Are you short of money, too?
There are clothes, toys, complementary food and baby products, all from Qian Qian, Chichiwa. ...
② Physical aspects:
Due to pregnancy, there are stretch marks on the abdomen and thigh roots and neck.
Because of pregnancy, your hip bone widens, your ass collapses, your chest sags, your hair falls off, your private parts relax, and you even leak urine when you laugh/cough.
Bao Ma in Qian Duoduo can go to maintenance; Ma Bao had a bigger heart, and he managed to survive. But for those women who love beauty extremely, these blows can make them secretly cry.
③ Family and work:
I used to hear people joke that WeChat business is mostly a nanny. If there is less money in hand, many women who are full-time nannies at home will take the road of WeChat entrepreneurship.
Until last night, I saw in my circle of friends that my college classmate who had been born for two years had also become a WeChat merchant, and I was more recognized.
Do you have an elder to take care of your children after giving birth? If not, are you willing to pay a nanny to take it? How do you measure family and work? Will the feelings of husband and wife and their concern for each other be divided because of the arrival of children?
As a baby's primipara, if we simply summarize the first year of giving birth to a baby, the most intuitive thing in our mind is "rushing", and every day is like a war. Since I have been engaged in human resource management for many years, if I evaluate the performance of the first year of delivery, I will share how the first year after delivery passed in a hurry from multiple dimensions of the balanced scorecard.
Financial level. Income growth strategy:
When the baby is in the belly, I often say to her father, "It will cost a lot of money for this baby to come out. If we want to give her a good life, our income is still not enough. " Her father said calmly, "Nothing, nothing, just work hard."
My husband and I used to do small jobs occasionally after work. For example, I sometimes go to other institutions and units to give lectures, and my husband occasionally has the opportunity to do one or two development projects. It's just that when we are alone, we enjoy life more and pay less attention to this part. We think it would be nice to work harder in this area after having children. However, this is not the case.
1, there is no energy at all: after our daughter was born, we didn't know what a "grinding demon" was. My mother-in-law and I take care of her during the day, and we can't be idle for a moment. At night, my husband had to hug her to sleep, change diapers and milk at midnight, and didn't have enough time to sleep, let alone do extra work.
2, the image is not good: the image of most postpartum mothers is definitely different from that before pregnancy, and I can't escape this nightmare. Fat body, hunched all day, this image is completely impossible to stand on the podium and give lectures. So we can only consider the increase in income.
Second, the cost reduction and throttling strategy:
Since we can't increase income, let's think about how to cut expenditure. However, this is a beautiful wish that is difficult to realize in the short term. Not only will it not reduce expenditure, but household expenditure will also increase substantially.
1, baby growth expenses: After giving birth to a baby, we begin to face a lot of expenses such as diapers, milk powder, clothes, toys, medical care and insurance. Although I have bought goods on multiple platforms and in various ways, we dare not use the poor things of our children. It must be justified. Because I always have the habit of keeping accounts, I spent 32,000 yuan on baby products this year.
2, the postpartum repair cost of Amy's mother: As a beauty-loving, smug me, how can I accept my poor postpartum image? So since the beginning of the month, I have been doing all kinds of tossing about postpartum repair, weight loss, conditioning, beauty, yoga, personal education and so on. Try to restore yourself to prenatal beauty as soon as possible. After a year of unremitting efforts, the image has indeed improved, but 40 thousand yuan has also been invested in this respect.
3. Auxiliary labor costs: I spent the second month in the Confucius Club. After the second month, I asked my aunt to help with housework and cooking, and my mother-in-law helped with the baby. I also eat and live with us this year. These projects add up to an extra 40 thousand a year.
Therefore, reducing costs and expenses can only be considered, whether money should be spent or not, and whether meat should be painful.
Speaking of customers, our big customer is undoubtedly a baby born this year, so how satisfied is this customer?
1, the customer can't communicate: this baby, from birth to one year old, will only communicate by crying at first. As for the meaning of crying, as parents, it is really hard for us to get it. Are we hungry? Are you sleepy? Did you pee? Basically by guessing. I finally grew up, almost one year old. I don't need to cry to express myself, but I started a journey of complaining, and I had to complain and add my fingers to everything. Looking at her fingertips, I can hardly guess her attraction. Oh, being a mother is so inconsiderate!
2, customer needs can never be met: this big customer, except for not communicating, always has a lot of needs, a toy can't do it, and there are many more; If you can't hold it horizontally, you have to hold it vertically; Can't put down sleep, hold it; You can't stay at home, you must go out; Can't go out by car, hold it; If you can't see anything, you must touch it; Feel it. No, you have to taste it. . . In short, there are only things you can't think of, and there is nothing she can't think of.
3, sometimes a little group building: this big customer can't be with his parents and grandparents all day, and occasionally he has to build a group with his friends. I will hum if I don't see my little friend for a few days; If you don't go out for two days, you have to hum; If you don't play rocking car when you go out, just hum; Hum twice when you see your big brother not letting you say hello. In a word, her life needs friendship besides affection. You have to meet her needs in this respect and expand your contacts from an early age!
When it comes to internal processes, it's even sadder. Basically, with learning and growth, the whole family is ruined! Since the baby was born, the family's mode of getting along has been completely disrupted; The old rules at home have come back. It is really unbreakable!
1, family division of labor reorganization: In the original two-person world, the division of labor between my husband and I was not very clear, and basically whoever had time would do it and work together. However, after having children, it will not work. My family should fully subdivide the types of work, be accurate, and be responsible to people. Otherwise, we will face many things, either rushing to do one thing or no one will do it. So after a period of exploration, my family has formed a very fixed division of labor: grandma is responsible for watching the baby and playing with the baby; Mother is responsible for family shopping, family dining and laundry arrangements; Grandpa is responsible for mopping the floor and washing dishes at home after work; Dad is responsible for other auxiliary work and coaxes the baby at night.
2, process management, sop: After the completion of the family division of labor, it was found that some people did not perform well in the implementation process. After many summaries, I learned that the process was wrong and unclear. Therefore, the whole family combined with experienced seniors and online parenting knowledge, fully applied management principles, formulated a family-based child care workflow, formed an sop, and implemented it according to the standard process. Grandma said, this is really hard for the dead! However, there is a standard, you don't have to think and explore by yourself, and it's good to do it slowly!
3. Work handover and assessment: In addition to detailed division of labor and standardized processes, we also arrange separate rest time for everyone every week to facilitate long-term hard work. Rest will naturally face the handover of work, so we will have a handover and summary meeting every week to evaluate the baby's performance and preferences this week and then make adjustments. Oh, mom, grandpa said it was stricter than my work management!
4, home delivery, professional recipes: since the baby was born, it has become difficult to buy food, prepare food, cook and make baby complementary food at home every day. How to find time to finish these things after work is also a headache for my mother. Since the second month, my family has chosen to use a door-to-door service to buy food, thus avoiding the time to go out shopping. In addition, according to everyone's preferences, edit weekly recipes and buy food in a targeted manner, so that you won't have a headache every day; After the baby added complementary food for 6 months, he specially made the baby's weekly menu, which is convenient for the baby to make complementary food, ensuring no repetition or panic, checking whether the baby likes it or not at any time, and finally forming a complementary food collection that the baby likes. All this is due to my mother with rich management experience, scattered flowers!
My weekly cookbook
At the level of learning and growth before we have a baby, my husband and I are experienced at least in the professional field and have no achievements. But in the parenting circle, we are even more novice than bronze, so we have to start all over again and make time to study after work.
First, human capital learning:
1, professional skills learning: parenting needs too much knowledge, medical care, maintenance, psychology, healthy eating and clothing. . . With so many kinds of skills and knowledge, it is difficult for a family to study in a division of labor. Finally, we decided that mother should study first and then train. So every day I will use all kinds of fragments to study, study, study! Who makes mom a smart "top student"?
2. Professional training: After learning professional skills, mothers should also have regular family training. If you see something suitable for grandma, forward it to grandma and then focus on training; See what is suitable for all staff to pay attention to and send it to family members, love everyone; Seeing that sometimes parents or grandmothers make mistakes in the process of taking care of their babies, we should directly carry out a situational education and start to guide the correct parenting knowledge training with this error demonstration. In short, this year, the home is full of learning atmosphere!
3, multi-channel access to knowledge: In order to better acquire parenting knowledge, this year, my mother worked hard to expand the doctor network, buy online doctors, download various well-known parenting apps, and harass community hospitals from time to time, in order to raise children. This is really a battle! The old high cold mode was completely abandoned.
Second, information capital acquisition:
1. In order to facilitate the study of the whole family, many parenting apps of the same paragraph were installed on the mobile phones of parents and grandparents to complete account exchange. The baby's growth record, baby photos, and parenting knowledge suitable for the baby can be seen by the family in the app every day.
2, the official app, installation: grandparents' old mobile phone, no matter whether the memory is enough, anyway, as long as you can receive the news notice about the baby, install it, what parenting and community communication are installed!
3. Special parenting equipment: In order to coax and educate the baby, a mobile phone is specially set aside to install various nursery rhymes software. Anyone who has time will play with a dedicated mobile phone, and the plane is dedicated. He is also drunk!
Third, organizational capital:
You think these are enough, not enough! In order to raise a baby, we need to cultivate many abilities.
1. Family culture: There are many training institutions, piano institutions, guzheng institutions, guitar shops and painting academies in our community. We watch the children come and go all day, we discuss it early at home, and give the children a relaxed and free environment without too much burden, so our family culture has produced a kind of "freestyle"!
2, emotional management: It is said that postpartum depression, in order to bring the baby's mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the relationship between husband and wife is cold. We don't have any of these at home! It's not that we are excellent, but that we have no chance to be depressed, quarrelling and indifferent at all. This energetic and abrasive goblin forces us to keep moving forward every day, dealing with this and that, where there is still time to think about it, and occasionally some bad moods will soon disappear. Only lying in bed every night, a broken body!
3, leadership: with a baby, there must be a king at home, with absolute right to speak and lead everything. Otherwise, everyone has their own ideas, and it is difficult to handle all kinds of things to raise a baby. Fortunately, I have been a monitor and a leader since I was a child, and I have properly assumed the role of head of the family. Unified command, centralized management and clear rewards and punishments, not to mention, the effect is really good!
Conclusion: Raising a baby is really a complicated system engineering. If you want to raise a good baby, you need to mobilize all kinds of resources and learn all kinds of skills to meet such challenges. But the road to raising a baby is also hard and happy.
There is still a long way to go in Xiu Yuan, and I will go up and down! With the encouragement of thousands of families!
1. The hospital gave birth to a baby for three days and was taken care of by her husband and mother-in-law. My mother-in-law comes to hang out every day, and I ask my mother to go back to rest. My mother-in-law also said how tired my mother was and asked her to take over for one day. She said that she was in poor health and couldn't stay up late.
On the third day after giving birth, breast milk came down. Because the baby took a bottle to eat milk powder three days ago, the baby cried and didn't eat breast milk. My mother-in-law said it was the special reason of my nipples, which was different from normal people. She also said that I was holding the baby in the wrong position and said a lot. I was crying in the hospital.
Before pregnancy, my mother-in-law said that she would not give our baby lucky money in the future, and she would buy insurance and fund directly for the baby, and then pay newborn insurance after giving birth to the baby. She said it was all false and deceptive, and you had to pay for it yourself.
My mother-in-law has been waiting on me during confinement. My mother-in-law walks around like a ghost every day and criticizes us for being wrong. She also said that it was inconvenient to cook with a small pot and stove over there, and every time she came, she had to take the food and staple food from the refrigerator.
Half a month after the baby was born, her mother-in-law put the baby in a very cold bedroom like a psycho, and she was naked. She said that the baby raised in this way is strong and can't stand the heat rash. I said nothing in the back, and as a result, the child had diarrhea at that time. She said that I have food, and the key is to eat it with lunch. Is there a problem?
6. My mother walked for a day because an old man died at home, and let her mother-in-law come for a day. I've been coaxing the baby, but I haven't helped her. When eating, people eat first, and I eat cold rice. People say that she has a bad stomach and can't eat cold food, so people who are confinement can eat cold food, hehe!
7. Eight months pregnant, I had to let a pregnant woman go out for a walk with her. I said I couldn't go, but I couldn't leave. She said that the doctor said that more exercise would help to give birth, and she spoke loudly at the door of the bedroom every day. Finally, she went out helplessly, stayed with her for three days, and came back with edema.
During the whole pregnancy, I did all the housework, washing, cooking and cleaning the house. Mother-in-law said that she was ill and not too tired every day. The key is to go out and tell people in the community every day that her daughter-in-law is obedient to her. She also said how good she was to her daughter-in-law, and that her daughter-in-law was not good to her and broke her heart.
1, since the pregnancy was confirmed, my mother-in-law has been whispering in her ear that if there are no symptoms in the third trimester, she will go to the hospital in a hurry, and the baby will not come out until the same day ... How professional she looks.
2. During the whole pregnancy, I ran my own check-up, paid my own expenses, and sorted out my own superfluous things. It seems that the child I am pregnant with is not from their family, and it is getting more and more embarrassing every day: why does the daughter-in-law drive with a big belly, and what does the girl do with a big belly every day? It seems that I have been lying in bed since I was pregnant.
3, caesarean section, no milk, the doctor repeatedly told me that it is normal not to milk for the first three days, take your time and avoid drinking broth. As a result, my sister-in-law brought a pot of chicken soup the next day ... The doctor's explanation had long been thrown aside.
On the fifth day, I was discharged from the hospital and settled my mother. My father said that he would buy fish to feed me, so her grandmother's family rushed to her grandmother's house for dinner, completely ignoring my confusion when I was a new mother facing the baby's poop. ...
For a whole month, I was depressed, caught a cold three times, and my milk was always bad. The child's grandmother whispered in her ear: Mom didn't give milk, she was hungry for my baby ... At that moment, I wanted to die.
My mother-in-law said that she was taking care of my baby. Actually, my mother is guarding our mother and daughter day and night. Strange to say, when my mother was here, the children were fine, and I didn't feel sick. My mother went back the next day during the busy farming season, and the child had diarrhea. I either have a cold drip or go back to milk.
7. I didn't eat meat when I was a child. In order to give the children milk, I drank a bowl of pig's trotter soup without any seasoning, without any salt. Not to mention other rural remedies for milking.
8. After confinement for 30 days, my mother hurried back to the farm, thinking that her mother-in-law would help me cook two meals. As a result, my grandmother didn't come into my house for a week, and my father even said that he didn't care about anything, just waiting for me to cook. Ok, I'll do it, but I can't, I can't ... and I end up in the old habit of foot pain, leg pain and back pain.
9. After a full moon drink, I took my baby back to my parents' home to rest. When I left, my in-laws went to have a good rest with a full face of enthusiasm ... Within a week, my grandfather talked over and over again on the phone. I don't care how you take care of the children at home, I just ask you if my granddaughter has a headache ... I haven't seen how much your parents care about the children at home.
10, until the child was handed over to grandma for four months, and I had to go to work. Once again, the child was too young, and the little baby who left her mother suffered. The children are too young for them to see clearly … and they tried to ask the boss for a month's leave, and the boss repeatedly stressed that they should ask for another month at most.
1 1. Grandma takes care of the children during the day and watches them by herself at night. In two days, the child's ass was red and the blood was almost oozing out. Being a mother is a pain when your ass is not cleaned up. If I wasn't a little poor, I really wanted to quit my job and go home to take care of my children alone ... why do children have to spend money on food and clothing?
12, the child is now more than three years old and will go to kindergarten in the second half of the year. One by one, they began to say: A child is too lonely, and there are no boys at home. I'll reply right away. Did you bring it when you were born? Giving birth to a child means giving birth.
In those days, my parents liked our pets. Taking care of the baby for three years has turned me from a girl who knows nothing into a woman who is not afraid of anything. The widowed mode of taking care of the baby has already swallowed up my innocence. It's not easy for a woman in this life. Don't wronged yourself to help others. I am a person who loves to have a second child now. Don't tell me, who said I was in a hurry with whom.
How difficult is it to have a baby in the first year?
Tough?
Not necessarily!
I think it depends on what kind of baby you gave birth to and what kind of husband you married!
I belong to family planning, and I have all three. For me, I think the first year is basically the easiest year to pass.
After coming home from the hospital, it is confinement and then taking care of the baby. When I was confined, my mother-in-law came to help. As soon as the confinement was over, everyone ran away! Because I said I would take care of the children myself!
Our first baby belongs to that kind of anxious baby. She can cry for two hours. At that time, she could only walk back and forth with her arms. At that time, she didn't eat milk, so she could only make milk powder. Basically, milk powder three times a night is her husband's business.
My two treasures and three treasures belong to the kind of children who are particularly quiet. After three months, they didn't eat night milk and slept until dawn.
Moreover, in the first 7 months, the baby basically eats and sleeps, eats when he wakes up, and sleeps after eating, so he feels better.
When I am older, I will follow her to read stories and do housework, or I will read books and brush my circle of friends. In fact, it is quite comfortable to arrange your own life.
However, before the baby was one year old, I hardly went out to see my friends, nor did I go out to eat! I think this is the most difficult thing for eating food, but it forces me to learn how to cook several dishes. It's also a gain and a loss!
I think what is really hard is not the first year of the baby's birth, but after he leaves, then kindergarten and primary school. That's hard!
Sadness, pain, disappointment and despair have all been experienced. During confinement, a person takes care of the baby, food and drink are taken care of, but no one takes care of the child. Moreover, a mother-in-law didn't care about the month for a day and gave birth to any son. Mother-in-law will only come to my room to wake up the baby and then leave. When she talked about her husband's work, he didn't do anything as a husband and father of children. The baby got hyperthyroidism when he was almost four months old. I couldn't hold the baby with my last three heads in the early stage. People are tired and can't stand. My heart beats fast, and I get hungry and sweat easily. I thought I was taking the baby. Later, because of a small lump on the neck, I found that I was ill and hospitalized recently. I didn't care when I knew I was sick, because I wanted to take care of the baby for a long time by myself. People who change hands can't eat well and sleep well, and they will definitely collapse. If he can hug the baby and let me have a rest, I won't be so miserable even for fifteen minutes, but he is completely ignorant and thinks it is easy to take care of the baby. I don't think children are born for him. It's my responsibility, no matter who you are. In this life, I am only responsible for the person who gave birth to me and the person I gave birth to! In the future, all my indifference and selfishness are to protect myself and my child, not to mention all his feelings. I have lived for a year. My children are healthy and satisfied, and I live well because of my irrelevant mentality. It doesn't make much sense to sleep in separate rooms with children All I know is that my child has a father. To me, I'm just a stranger who meets me every day. No matter what I do, I can't change my indifference I like this indifference. If you don't move, it won't hurt. Women don't think too much about a person who has no responsibility. A man with no sense of responsibility can find the feelings and understanding he wants, which will only increase his heartache and disappointment. He wants to live a good life, take good care of his children, eat, drink and be merry, and take the baby out for a walk and go shopping. People's spirits will be good. Don't care too much about what others think. How can he do everything well if he is unhappy? How can others understand his feelings without his own experience? Love yourself is the most important thing.
Ask mothers if it's hard to have a baby in the first year. Nine times out of ten, they say it's difficult, but the first year is difficult. I believe many mothers will say that it is not difficult, because you will find that time passes in a blink of an eye, and in this process, getting along with your baby every day will make you feel happy and worthwhile.
What is the most difficult thing in the first year after delivery? I summed it up and should have the following points:
1, sleepy. Really, the baby's sleep is like a bird that flies away easily. Teeth, a lot of exercise, and growing pains will all affect your baby's sleep. Then, as a mother, my first year's sleep was almost fragmented and divided into pieces. I often get up and crawl around in the middle of the night when I have a nap. You just want to knock him out with a stick.
Not everyone can insist on breastfeeding. When I was young, I fed it every two or three hours, day and night. Hide in the office and find a place to nurse after work. Sometimes you don't know what your persistence is for. But seeing the baby's smiling face, you also feel that everything is worth it.
Lonely children occupy most of your world. You can't go out if you want, and you will lose contact with your friends more or less. Children also take up your time with your husband and wife. You will feel depressed and lonely from time to time. You really want to play carefree, but you can't let go.
However, no matter how hard you try, you can't compare with a smiling face of your baby. Looking at his growth and progress, you will feel that all the hard work is worth it. The baby grows rapidly and the first year passes quickly. Come on!
I stayed in the hospital for 8 days and my husband took care of our mother-in-law. My husband still took five days off from the hospital to take care of me. I can't cook. I order takeout almost every day. I missed the milk, the knife hurt, and my mother-in-law didn't care about me. My mother-in-law remarried and was in poor health. My father-in-law divorced early and died of illness. My parents harvest in autumn at home, and June+10 in 5438 is the time when the corn is broken. Father said he would come. I thought for a moment, but it didn't help. I didn't ask him to come.
Almost depressed, the whole mental delivery room collapsed immediately. After giving birth, no one called me to express condolences. No one sent me a red envelope to congratulate me at that time. I also recorded it in the WeChat circle of friends. My heart is cold from my feet, and life is really helpless. After graduation, I ran outside like a headless fly. No one gives you guidance. I groped by myself and took many detours. It's pretty bleak.
The knife hurt for nearly a month, and my husband took care of it for five days before going to work. I didn't take care of my daughter for a month, didn't sleep well, and my knife hurt and sweated. I figured it out almost a month later. Life is an experience. As long as I don't let my daughter take my detour, I will give her advice. I will go as soon as my daughter has a baby, and I will take care of it as soon as possible. I love my children more than anything else.
I have been stumbling for more than half a year, and basically I don't believe anyone. My heart hardened immediately. I used to think everyone was fine. I didn't know how cold and warm the world was until I gave birth to a baby. What's the funniest thing? A cousin of mine borrowed money from me from high school, college and graduation, and even borrowed 20 thousand before I got pregnant. Later, I gave birth to a daughter without even asking or giving me a red envelope, which made me chilling. He gave a woman 1800 without meeting her. At least, why should I know? Because he is a construction worker, he always takes thousands or hundreds of dollars from me for emergency. It's disgusting anyway. Let me recognize many people at once. You always come to me when you have something at home, and the more you think about it, the more chilling you become.
Forget it, forget it, ignore these people. In the future, there will be no help except my best friend Lao Wu, so I will pretend that I know nothing. That's it. I'm helpless. I'll take a picture of my old lady.