1 year ago
From morning till night, I was scolded by my parents for being fat. I really want to end my life, and even there is a voice in my head (should fat people die? You have to accept malice. No matter what kind of fat man you are, you are a scum with poor self-control and poor management of your physique. It's really difficult, but I don't know where to start, and I dare not even send a circle of friends to describe the pain now. When I think of Zhihu, no one knows me and wants to write about my experience.
Just because Po has been a fat girl since she was a child doesn't mean she eats a lot. She really absorbs well and gets fat easily. She has been fat since she was a child. I remember that girls in my class have given me some derogatory nicknames since primary school. In fact, when I was a child, I could accept Xiao Pang and Xiao Pang's nicknames, but I remember that a girl in our class (who was very popular in the class) gave Bao a nickname, which was my first one. Feeling that people are unfriendly to the world also makes a 7.8-year-old girl feel inferior. I remember the nickname was X Fei (X is Po's surname). Because that girl is popular, all the boys in the class began to call me that. Now that girl may have forgotten about it, but this is the beginning when I feel fat, which has a great influence on me and begins to feel inferior. Since I took this nickname, every time people in my class called me, I felt like a monkey in the zoo and was teased by everyone. Every time I scream like this, it is accompanied by ridicule and ridicule.
With the growth of age, in junior high school, Po began to dress up a little. Hearing the boys in the class say that XXX's face is still very beautiful, I slowly regained some confidence. In high school, with a boy I like, I began to learn makeup slowly. I remember everyone in my class encouraged me to say, Come on, maybe it's ok. I thought all I received was blessings. By chance, I learned through some channels that those who ostensibly encouraged me just wanted to see my failure and my jokes. Their original words probably mean this: XXX still wants to chase him? Don't look at yourself like that. A school girl also likes that boy, and even wrote it directly in someone else's message. Even the fat man tried to rob me. . It's really hard. I feel inferior. Later, I didn't like that boy because of my inferiority complex, because I really felt that I didn't deserve what others said. Then Po's first love appeared. At first, it was online dating, not in a school, but very close. ) At that time, Po really liked him and began to lose weight. He hasn't eaten a bite for months and is hungry every day. At that time, PO was almost 160 kg. At this weight, he kept running for an hour every day without rest, plus other sports, and finally lost weight to 125 kg. So when I was 125 kg, I got up the courage to meet my first love (PO height 165). Although my first love didn't die in front of me, she stayed with me, but I know he doesn't like me. ...