-Teacher Yang Yi.
The rain at night is gentle and quiet, and only the morning dew will tell you that this is not a dream, and the desolate history is overlapping. Only history books can prove that it is not a rigid dogma. Time is a kind of stubbornness without any meaning. Giving gifts and money does not change its meaning at all. If you leave some, it will leave you a lot of regrets.
……
I started packing again. All kinds of books, toys and rubbish are everywhere. My dormitory was in a mess, and I was busy all noon before I got rid of these things that used to be related to me. This parting is very different from many times before, because after I walked out of the gate of Shandan Street 1, I stopped showing myself as a student.
Bright days were packed into big suitcases in the blink of an eye. Two years later, it ended like this, like water passing by, suddenly like a dream. From the first day of school, day after day, three years and three years, it seems that time is not precious to me, but those memories engraved in my mind are still clear no matter where I am.
I don't know what it feels like to leave again. In short, this time, there is no sadness or disappointment. Perhaps the more you grow up, the less melodramatic you will be. That's an emotion only for children of seventeen or eighteen. I shouldn't have, and even if I did, I shouldn't have said it. Facing the messy dormitory and the gradually empty bed, the blessing stuck in my throat has never been said, but I just waved and said, Goodbye!
I'm glad to see them leave one by one. At least in the last two years of school, I have no regrets. Two years ago, in the third year of high school, I escaped from the high school where I lived for three years like a deserter, and I didn't even have the courage to turn back. I failed my parents' expectations, Kai Zi's special care, and even my deepest desire. I've never been so lost. Sometimes I go back and have a look. Many times I just secretly looked up at the classroom on the fifth floor when they were still in class, and then shook my head and left disappointed.
It was a crazy and wanton era, and all the impulses and bitterness that should have existed when I was young were slightly beating in the strong sunlight. We sang songs and drank cold drinks, and our blood was boiling. We play games, chase girls we like, and squander seemingly rich youth in an almost crazy way.
In the eyes of the teacher, I am a hopeless villain. I have no ideal and no future. I'm afraid my life is just a fool's life. This is human nature, not to mention teachers. Wherever we go, everyone likes good students, that is, good children who study hard. I also like good students, but unfortunately I'm not.
Students like us have a natural sense of resistance to teachers, so after reading books for so many years, they never impress teachers, but are more afraid and alienated. But in our bad student circle, I am a lucky person, because I met Kai Zi in my high school.
Kai Zi is my Chinese teacher, surnamed Yang, and the head teacher of our adjacent class. She went to No.3 Middle School with us and brought us Chinese from Grade One to Grade Three. He is a very special person, especially when I first saw his eyes, I felt creepy. Based on my years of experience in fighting wits with teachers, I come to the conclusion that this guy is not easy to deal with.
This conclusion was quickly confirmed. After I made a mistake in dictation of ancient poetry for the second time and was slapped by him, I pushed him away from my heart as before. Why do you still hit people? Aren't you all high school students? We are all grown up. Damn, it really hurts! I looked at a typo circled on the loose-leaf paper and silently scolded him.
However, after the pain, I still opened the book and recited the poem I wrote wrong several times. It is wrong for Kai Zi to clap his hands, but my mistake must be corrected. I like Chinese in nine-year compulsory education. Wouldn't it be a shame if I made a mistake next time?
At that time, I thought Kai Zi might be the kind of serious teacher. After all, he just started working and still wants to do something. That's understandable. We are all warm-blooded young people, and it is normal to have occasional tides. Well, you are busy with your career, I daydream, and we do not interfere with each other. This is good, right? Whether Kai Zi knows it or not, I reached an agreement with him in secret. I just need to live my life.
Later, after much contact, I found that Kai Zi was not the kind of teacher I imagined. When he studies by himself in the evening, he will tell us a lot about his experience after checking the ancient poems. Although I don't like studying, I like listening to stories, so when he stands on the podium and talks about Kan Kan, I will lie prone on my desk and listen carefully with my eyes closed.
He said a lot in dribs and drabs. What I remember most is the time when he went to Guoluo to teach with his classmates in college. Although they are all northwest men who herded sheep over mountains when they were young, they are still far from people in plateau areas. After all, the altitude conditions are there, just like people who have never learned professional singing go to Li Na's Qinghai-Tibet Plateau, and they blush and can't lift that high note. This is called altitude sickness.
When he was teaching, he would drink milk tea and pick up cow dung with Tibetan children every day, and his face gradually turned red. Because of the air pressure over there, the fire roast can only be cow dung, and milk tea is certainly not Youlemei. You can hold it in the palm of your hand, but goat's milk or other livestock's milk is cooked in ancient ways and tastes fishy. Plateau red is easy to explain, that is, the face is frozen and the blood gas overflows and turns red. If you don't understand, you can refer to the monkey butt in the animal world, that's all. Of course, I didn't mean to laugh. It is the simplest color endowed by nature and deserves everyone's respect.
After teaching, they will go back to school. Children in Tibet are reluctant to part with their lovely teacher, watching Kai Zi and his classmates in tears. They are very sensible. They didn't stay until they knew that Mr. Xiao Yang was going to school. They just waved at a distance and said to those smaller and smaller figures: Akuo Naga (Tibetan: I love you).
After Kai Zi finished, I opened my eyes for the first time and looked at him with admiration and a little blush. It was also from that day that I realized that Kai Zi was not the kind of scholar who was helpless. He deserves our children who grew up in the greenhouse to respect him.
In fact, Kai Zi's name was not Kai Zi before, but it seems to come from his class. Over time, everyone called him that in private. I also follow suit, because I often deal with my peers. It's a bit hypocritical to call Mr. Yang at ordinary times.
The intersection of Kai Zi and I probably started from talking about the teaching of Guoluo, because of a rambling composition. This is his first composition since he brought us Chinese. I forgot what the topic was, but I remembered that time was tight and I racked my brains without writing a word. I had to listen to a few songs secretly (many entertainment facilities were forbidden at that time), and then in the last half hour, I only used a little clue to complete the feat of 800 words without even typing the manuscript.
A few days later, the composition book was distributed. I opened it at random and saw a note written by Kai Zi in red: 90, reading in class!
I thought it would be nice to pass the exam. These four unexpected words really surprised me, so that when he asked me to stand on the podium, I was too nervous to speak. As a result, I only read a paragraph. Kai Zi hates iron and doesn't produce steel. He grabbed the book from me and waved and said, "Go on, such a good article has been read like this by you!"
I walked back to my seat and sat down with my head down, listening to Kai Zi's lyrical recitation of my clumsy composition and laughing to myself. Although I seem fearless on the surface, I am actually very shy. Even if the teacher answers a question in class, I will blush for a long time.
This is the first time in my life that I have been recognized and encouraged for what I like to do. I was flattered by the thunderous applause in the classroom. I don't know what to do. I stood there like a rotten log. I asked myself again and again in my mind, how can I get this book down? If I go up like this now, won't it make my classmates think I'm so stupid!
To my surprise, Kai Zi came down personally after reading, put the book on the table and gave me an admiring look. At that moment, my heart was hanging, because in my memory, the teachers were above me, and Kai Zi's behavior made me very stressed. But compared with panic, it is more a sense of self-satisfaction. Imagine, gentlemen, if a person's hobbies are always laughed at and belittled by others, suddenly one day, a person with a little status tells him: Young man, not bad, promising. At that moment, was his heart particularly excited? Of course, it is not inflation, but confidence brought by recognition and encouragement.
Suddenly I feel like I'm not the kind of bad student who is useless. I still have some bright spots, don't I?
From then on, I began to respect Kai Zi more. Every time I have a composition, I will write it with great care, and I will never hold the idea of muddling along. I feel more and more that Kai Zi is an able man who knows astronomy above and geography below. He can not only teach the knowledge in textbooks, but also let us know a lot about the world outside textbooks.
They say high school life is boring. Actually, I didn't expect that when I was a freshman in high school, Kai Zi would consult our class teacher almost every week or two, let us study by ourselves on Saturday night and watch a movie, and then let us write a review. I have seen at the beginning of the Great Renaissance 1942, the abridged version of the girl we chased together in those years, and so on. It was undoubtedly the happiest time, with a favorite girl, a beloved teacher, a thick diary and those naive faces.
In my life, that is, during that time, it was the most unforgettable. I often think of it with a smile in my old dreams in other places. Looking back, everything is still in sight.
Kai Zi's opening to the outside world has made many students feel that they have met a good teacher who has not wasted his life. However, while he is open-minded, his bones are not less severe. When he criticized people, he said that you felt like a knife cut, which made you feel ashamed and made you feel that if you didn't work hard, the whole society would not tolerate you. Being criticized by Kai Zi is definitely a different feeling. When I was a sophomore, I was depressed all day because the girl I always liked deliberately alienated me. One morning, Kai Zi couldn't stand it, so he rushed in front of me and swept over is a reprimand. I sat there, not knowing how to refute it, so I had to lower my head. After all, it's my fault. As he said, I put the cart before the horse.
Kai Zi is always the kind of temper that hates iron to produce. He happened to meet a boy with the same hot temper in class. Something happened to them that day. In order not to hurt each other's face, Kai Zi told him to go to the teaching and research section not far from the classroom. Just after he left, he heard Kai Zi's amazing loud voice. It is estimated that he is really angry, so he is so furious. When the boy came back, he bowed his head. I don't know why, but I know that they haven't contacted each other for a long time since then.
I thought to myself, is this the enemy of mentoring? Actually, it's not necessary Anger hurts the body, why make yourself unhappy?
After the liberal arts division in senior two, it seems that everything has become another way. The atmosphere in the classroom is very dignified. Perhaps everyone has begun to understand how to work hard for the future, and I am still an ignorant teenager living in those gorgeous words. In addition to criticism, Kai Zi talked to me once. It seems that my communication with Kai Zi is limited to composition, weekly diary and comments written in red at the back.
That is, from the second year of high school, I felt that I was really not suitable for studying science. I tried to get rid of the shackles again and again and was defeated by reality again and again. Maybe this is an excuse for not working hard! When I was a freshman, Kai Zi repeatedly stressed that I wanted to study liberal arts, but at that time I was already addicted to the dreamland of love, thinking that everything in this world was simple and beautiful.
It was not until I fell down again and again and hit the wall again and again that I realized that this world has night besides day, mountains, rivers and shoals. I began to read a lot of books, of course, many of them were electronic versions, and I also began to learn to sit still and think about life. I always thought that only great people in books could make me understand more, and later I realized that only personal experience could do it.
I became the kind of person who annoyed many teachers at first sight. I sit in the back row and live a passive life. Besides reading, I just write, and my life seems to be in an endless cycle. Only when Kai Zi reads what I wrote as the last article in every essay review can I feel a little relieved. Although we haven't talked much now, Kai Zi still has hope for me, doesn't he?
As teachers dislike me more and more, the books I read have gradually changed from gorgeous articles of Bremen to profound ones, and I have gradually accepted a culture of suffering. Later, once, Kai Zi made me forget what I wrote. In short, I remember his comments at the back of my composition: reading your article always makes people feel that everyone is drunk and you wake up alone, and the whole world is muddy and you wake up alone.
I know, for me, Kai Zi's appreciation is still not broken, just a little disappointed. Actually, I'm not that bad, but when I spread out my paper and open my pen to write an article, no matter how upset I am, I will feel that the world is very quiet, except for me, which is Tao, not written, but realized!
In the third year of high school, like many people, I became the object of laissez-faire and was pushed into the camp of "the world is so big, you can do it yourself". Going back to the past, there is nothing unaccustomed, just returning to the standard. Seeing that others are busy and empty, I start looking for something to do, reading novels and then writing by myself. In the first semester of senior three, I finished the first novel in my life, which was romantic and slightly sour. Although it finally became something in the closet, it couldn't stop my enthusiasm.
As long as you get used to everything, such as bitter love and bad food, you are gradually isolated and helpless. I am indecisive, and I can't wash anything I can't do well. They call me promiscuous. I can't deny it. Years later, I realized that it was just confusing goodness and ugliness, but I couldn't tell them apart.
That winter, I met Kai Zi downstairs after studying at night. He pushed his bike to the boys' dormitory and talked while walking. In his tone, I heard a teacher's regret and a teacher's sigh. For me, it's a bite.
The last time I talked face to face with Kai Zi was in the last semester of senior three. The campus is full of smoke preparing for war. During the break, I came out of the toilet humming a ditty. Some people say that Kai Zi is looking for me. I threw away my cigarette butts, took a few breaths of the earth after the rain, adjusted my messy clothes and rushed to the Chinese teaching and research room on the fifth floor.
Kai Zi saw me come in with a long-lost smile on his face, and I immediately breathed a sigh of relief. It was a tense time. I haven't seen Kai Zi smile for a long time.
Kai Zi waved me over, then took out something similar to a document and said, "It's a bit difficult to write a paper. I thought about it. The whole third grade, only you have this ability. How's it going? Is there a problem? "
I nodded and said no problem. Although I know that some of Kai Zi's words mean that you are idle, I am still very happy, because I haven't heard such encouraging words for a long time.
When I came out of the office, I began to write that argumentative paper as if I had received an imperial edict, no matter who stood on the podium and gave a lecture. I drove the manuscript out with the fastest speed, and changed it several times with the fastest speed, and then my father-in-law copied it on the paper given by Kai Zi.
I don't know what the final result of that composition was, because I left without graduation. Technically, I escaped. In that war-torn era, I was a deserter from the college entrance examination. I know that when I took the exam in that university, Kai Zi must be disappointed when he saw my empty seat in the classroom. I know, I'm afraid I'll never see Kai Zi again, so I didn't go to class much after I came back.
That morning, just after the morning self-study, I received a notice from the class teacher that we were admitted. I didn't stop for a moment, packed my things and sneaked out the back door. Holding a thick stack of books, I finally took a look at the familiar classroom, glanced at the podium that I didn't want to look at at at ordinary times, and left the corner to the girl who used to like it so much. I tried to swallow my tears and left without looking back.
I packed my bags and walked down the street, and some buddies walked me to the car. I saw them waving their hands through the window, crying unwillingly, just like a Qiao Min who was driven out of the mirror, with tears in his eyes, but afraid to look back. Goodbye, my third middle school; Goodbye, my youth; Goodbye, Kai Zi. He always respects me. And those girls who are annoying all day, you can leave if you don't like me, and you can leave if you don't like me, so it's best not to be seen, right?
Later, I secretly went back, but I didn't dare to go to Class Five's classroom again, and I didn't dare to disturb them. Just feast your eyes in a hurry and leave in a hurry. After filming graduation photo, my classmates called me. I couldn't refuse, so I went to school once. I stood at the end and stole a look at Kai Zi. As soon as graduation photo finished filming, I immediately turned around and bypassed the Chongde Building, and stayed away. I'm afraid of being seen by Kai Zi. I'm ashamed enough.
In my classmate's QQ space, I saw their photo with Kai Zi. I envy them, but I can only envy them. During the winter vacation of my freshman year, I learned that Kai Zi was going to get married. I went to the town where my high school was located two days in advance and took two old classmates to the wedding. They don't want to go. I gave them all their money. You don't want to go, but I want to. I must witness such a grand day.
On the wedding day, Kai Zi was really handsome. The plateau red left by teaching gradually receded and was replaced by a high-spirited spirit. On the wedding day, Class 6 next door had the largest number of people, but there were only three of us in our class. Go inside as soon as you enter the door, and the Yangjiazu brand is displayed. I finished all this because I felt nothing. Kai Zi is of great significance in my life. Then, it is reasonable to incense the ancestors of the Lao Yang family.
Kai Zi told four happy events in class. Now, he became a teacher first, and then got married. It can be said that I graduated from college. I believe Kai Zi will be very happy after marriage. When we left, the weather, which was still fine, became gloomy, the north wind blew everywhere, and the cold air dropped without warning. I looked back at Kai Zi's waving hand and said softly, "Mr. Yang, happiness and peace."
I lit Kai Zi's happy cigarette and took a drag. Nicotine and cold air jumped into the lungs, just like Kai Zi's spring education, which awakened the mind.
Today, two years later, I packed my bags again and embarked on a journey. This is another experience. Sitting in the car, I once again thought of Kai Zi, the teacher who was very kind to me. If it weren't for what he mentioned before, I couldn't have settled down to write something at any unhappy time. He gave an ignorant teenager, the greatest encouragement in the world, and let the teenager survive many difficult nights.
I have been to the mountains of life and walked through the shallows of life. Fortunately, I never lost my heart. Kai Zi's encouragement and warning are always ringing in my ears, and the alarm is always ringing. Thank you for everything, Mr. Yang. I'm afraid I'll remember it all my life When I return to my hometown, may I raise my glass? Let me listen to it again, and you will give me sincere advice.
I want to write this article on the day I leave, but as an intern, I seem to have too little free time, and I didn't finish it until September 10. I think tomorrow is Teacher's Day, which is a special gift for Kai Zi. Everything Kai Zi said to me is still ringing in my ears, whether the immature voice has experienced vicissitudes, and whether the surging heart has learned to be calm. I think good people will be happy in the end.
—— Saturday, September 9, 2065438+07