"Wrong Step" video:/video/www zongyi/2006/10/www zongyi _ 300 _ 20061020 _ 49.shtml.
Grandfather's troubles
/play/ 16 F7 D5 d 3-822 e-4607-a3b 6-0949 de 16909 1 . htm
Text:
Ask you a question.
B what's the problem?
How much does A know about family planning?
Everyone knows, so there is no need to know anything.
What about family planning?
Family planning is very simple, that is, limiting the number of children.
Your explanation is very popular.
B I know.
A: What?
B I just didn't limit the quantity, and finally I surpassed it.
A is simply a question of limiting the number of children, and there is great resistance to publicity.
What resistance?
At the League branch meeting, I publicized family planning to young people. As soon as I heard this topic, a young man shouted at me.
What did b say?
A "hey, talk about family planning at the meeting! I haven't found my date yet! Can I talk about this first when dating someone? Find someone to hold the girl's hand:' We just want one child.' The whole stupid old man! "
Oh, this is not married.
Some people don't want to get married.
What did they say?
Sister Jia Wang said, "Xiao Jiang, come here. It's ugly that so many people are giving birth to children! " What do you know, how to become young? I'll see if you're alive. Don't have children. Give birth to a cabbage and you can do it! "
B Hey, what are you doing there?
A got a few young girls around to tease me: "Hey, say this, regenerate a child and regenerate a child, shameless!" "
B ho! Your job is hard enough.
A also has different opinions at home.
Is it?
As soon as Grandma Wang of the First Hospital heard me promoting family planning, she pointed at me and scolded me: "Come back, silly boy! What are you talking about? Having children is a family matter. When so many people say you are shivering with cold? Can I let you do family planning? You are the product that your mother has surpassed. "
Wow! Han Chan
"I tell you, excess is good."
B what are the benefits?
One sentence, "Can you get a commission!"
B commission?
A: "A child gives home ten dollars a month, and your mother takes sixty dollars. Can she get sixty dollars without exceeding the limit? " ? The extra $50 is a commission bonus. "
B Hey, that's how she got in touch.
Someone is always nagging in your ear.
B how to grind it?
A "wow! Don't make so much noise Family planning means talking and doing. In the future, a couple will support four old people. Is this money enough? Everyone has children. What if the rural labor force is less? They are all only children. Who will be a soldier tomorrow? Many hands make light work, and many people gather firewood with high flame; Many bells ring and many candles split the light; Three heads are better than one Zhuge Liang; HaoEr need not much ... "
Hmm?
A "ten tops and one"
One is worth ten.
A "I changed it because of the needs of the revolution!"
B it's grinding enough.
What do you think I should do?
What about b? You let him get away with it!
What did you say?/Sorry?
B, let him eat!
How was A born?
B Love more, we have more, we have more.
A fight for life, fight for life, live a carefree life, and live a passionate life? A couple has two children, and in a hundred years, there will be1400 million in our country. Three children, 4.2 billion. Four births,10 billion!
B 10 billion?
In a word, twice the population of the world!
So much?
How many sons do you have?
Four.
A By that time, according to quadruplets, there will be more than 200 people in your family.
B what a big family!
A big one! The hukou book is like a big dictionary, weighing seven kilograms. 16 grandchildren, 46 great grandchildren, plus great grandchildren and daughter-in-law, more than 230 pages!
B then I'm grandpa zu.
A: Yes. There are so many children and grandchildren that you can't remember their names.
If you can't remember, number it.
A line, the son's name is Sony.
B Sony?
Four Sony sons, one, two, three, four!
Where is grandson B?
A grandson named Songxia, from Songxia to Songxia Sixteen!
What about the second grandson?
The name of a great-grandson is TDK.
B I must call Sanyo!
A, old sanyo.
B It's convenient for us to record at home.
A: You are a grandfather, and more than 200 children are filial. As soon as you get paid, everyone gives you a piece, and you have more than 30 pieces. ...
B no! More than 200 people, why more than 30 yuan?
More than 100 people have no jobs.
Oh, there are so many people that it is difficult to find a job!
All the children are willing to run to you.
Where do I live?
A lives on the 200th floor of a tall building.
B it's too high!
At that time, housing was much more difficult than it is now. It would be nice to have a place to live!
B, I'll make do with it.
A only stayed for two days, and TDK arrived.
My great-great-grandson
A is going to your place for honeymoon.
Why do you have to come to me when you get married?
A There is no room, so we have to separate after the honeymoon. Two children "grandpa, grandpa" are crying like this. Can you bear not to let them live?
B Then I'll go to my neighbor's house and find a place.
A that's easy to say. This runs in the family. You have 64 TDK cars here and 82 Yamaha cars there!
B Where am I going this month?
Have a good trip!
Old b takes the main road?
A doesn't always walk. When you are sleepy, sleep on the side of the road.
Oh, I live on the street!
If A doesn't work, sleep on the bus. Buy a monthly ticket and worry about not sleeping?
Do you want me to sleep on the bus at night?
A can't you sleep during the day and walk at night?
B Yes, I'll take another bangzi in my hand.
What is A doing?
B brought it, so I played overtime.
There are many people walking on the road, so there is no need to work overtime.
B Then I'll take a bath in the bathhouse, even when I'm sleeping.
A: Nice try! The bathhouse is full, even in the swimming pool. There are so many people that we can't even supply water for eating and bathing!
B I wander around outside all day. How dirty I am!
Set the rules. One, three, five, no washing, two, four, six dry cleaning, Sunday off.
B This month is enough for me!
A made up his mind and said a few words to his great-grandson and his wife when he left.
B what else did you ask?
"Well, you can stay here. You can do whatever you want with our things. This is a refrigerator, but there is nothing in it. I can't buy it, and I can't buy it. Don't put it in even if you buy something. "
B why?
"Food in it will go bad! There is always a power outage here. I put a pound of tofu the day before yesterday and three pounds today. "
Why are there so many B?
"Has grown two jins of hair. No, I bought a jar, and I want to pickle it by hand! "
B so said, there was no electricity at that time.
A "100 billion people, the demand is too great, energy crisis! But never mind, I have two copies here. This is the light switch ... "
B what if there is no electricity?
"I have wax here. This is an electric furnace ... "
B what if there is no electricity?
Answer "I have firewood here. This is an electric fan ... "
B what if there is no electricity?
A "I have a banana fan here. This is a washing machine ... "
B what if there is no electricity?
"I have a washboard here. This is a color TV ... "
B what if there is no electricity?
"I have a picture book here. This is ShuiGuanZi ... "
B what if there is no electricity?
Answer: "I have hawthorn here ..."
B shanhong?
"Eat less!"
B ate too much and lost his teeth.
A "I don't care whether I eat more or not."
B I have good teeth.
"Already gone. All right, I'm leaving. I can't take the elevator today because of the power failure. It's too much trouble for me to come down from these 200 floors, alas! " Say that finish you open the window, "boom, whoosh-"a fall, you broke.
B I jumped off the building!
A it's too fast.
B never heard of it.
At that time, power was often cut off, and more than 100 floors had their own parachutes. You are familiar with dancing, and you are still doing movements in the air. Xiaoyan spreads her wings!
B I'm like an old woman!
A jumps to the ground and you start strolling.
B it's like walking.
A. Persuade in the event of a quarrel, pull in the event of a fight, manage in the event of a collision, and check if something is lost.
B I is very nosy.
A bought two feet of red cloth, made a red hoop to wear on her arm, and wrote two words. ...
B on duty
A check.
B changed the investigation team!
A Help push the cart here and pull the condom there. I saw the old man holding it and the child holding it.
I can't give so many grandchildren enough hugs.
A's gone. I can't walk any further. You love learning, buy a picture book, find a step to sit there and listen to goo goo. ...
What's that noise?
Full of grumbles.
B that's hungry.
What about a?
B go to the canteen to buy rice.
People who buy food in canteen a have lined up for more than 30 miles, and they may not be able to buy it when they arrive.
B Then I'm hungry!
A Don't you have any picture books? Read an article, "Brush-",read another article, "Brush-",tear it off and put it in your mouth.
B put it in your mouth?
After reading it, A is full.
Where is book b?
A ate.
B I eat books. Wow!
A is hungry, too
Don't eat books when you are hungry!
That's a food substitute. There was not enough food to eat at that time.
B what?
A: You see, with the population growth, the cultivated land area will not expand indefinitely, nor can it keep up with the increase in output. Besides, food is different from people.
What is the difference?
Grain production is reduced in disaster years.
Where is b?
A person can protect the harvest through drought and flood.
Wow!
In order to solve this problem, at that time, everything containing nutrients must be recycled for food.
B recycle what?
Too much armor. Like chicken feathers, fish scales, tea roots, shredded melon pulp, stick whiskers, grape branches, orange peels, Chinese cabbage bumps, bran radish hearts, hair fragments, iron filings, distiller's grains, sawdust, and monkey tendons. ...
B Can I eat all these?
A needs to be refined, processed, pressed into such a thin paper with high pressure, and printed with words is a book. When waiting for dinner, the whole family gathered around a table, with a stack of books in the middle, and each person took a tear. "whoosh-click", I know it's dinner.
B don't know?
A thought it was a mouse!
B: OK.
A that's it. You have been walking outside for a month.
B, finally got through it.
You just got home and were about to go to bed when TDK came again.
B why are you here again?
A is on her honeymoon.
B isn't rigidity over?
That's TDK 1, and this is TDK 2.
Why do all B's come to my house?
A there is no room! People will leave after their honeymoon, and two children are shouting "Grandpa, Grandpa". Can you stand not letting them? In order to make children happy, you can't let them know that you are suffering outside.
B I deserve to suffer!
Tell me again what happened in the house. Pushing open the window, "Boom, whoosh-"another one fell down.
Monkey B is not as fast as me.
The next day, it was getting colder and colder. You were cold and hungry outside, with your hips protruding upward, your eyes sunken, your cheeks pursed in and your front teeth stuck out.
B look at me like this!
A managed to rub it for a month, but she didn't even have the strength to open the door when she got home.
B Wait until you get home.
A can't wait, TDK III is married again!
How much TDK do I have?
A sixty-four, call you grandpa.
B Stop screaming, just change. I'll call them Grandpa and let me spend my honeymoon alone first.
Do you have the heart to live separately?
B Do they have the heart to suffer outside?
You didn't keep it from them?
I won't keep it from them. When I see them again, I will shout, "Nobody is coming! If I want to come on my honeymoon again, I won't jump off the building without a parachute! "
A: Don't worry, it's all caused by too many people. Energy, employment, food, water, especially housing, are crowded with people everywhere, so they just throw themselves into the river. You can't let people live in the river, can you?
B: Why not?
A is always in the water?
B why do you keep soaking? Practice swimming in shifts. It is stipulated that a family has several places of water, no water here and no land there! I cann't believe there's no place to live
A hey! That's a good idea. In your words, the housing of more than 6 households in Songxia100, than 100, has been solved.
Come on.
You bring happiness to everyone. On your birthday, more than 200 people thanked you.
B don't go, I can't fit it in my room.
A child has an idea. You sit on the bed, everyone lines up downstairs, one by one, and they come into the house to celebrate your birthday. If you don't make any noise, bow and go. You also have the style of grandparents. You don't even open your eyes when others take off their hats and bow.
Well, farewell to the body!
A TDK has been reporting good news to you: "Your great-grandson is out!"
B is alive!
A figure has also been compiled.
What's B's name?
"Sarkka, Sarkka, Seiko."
B changed his watch!
You are happy to see all your children and grandchildren. Greet the youngest great-grandson: "DDT!"
Ethyl DDT?
A no. "TDK sixty-four, let grandpa have a look. How beautiful, not only watery, but also white and fat. "
B great!
Now that you mention it, your great-grandson grinned. ...
B smiled.
Say "wow, wow!"
B cried?
"Grandpa, you are so wicked!"
B why did you scold you?
"A" also praised me for being watery. May I not have water? "
What's the matter?
Answer: "I soak in water for more than six hours every day." Am I white and fat? " ? You press, press a pit. "
B: What's the matter?
A "all swollen!"
Wow!