Everything is meaningless unless we give it meaning.

And what meaning we give, we establish what beliefs, beliefs affect behavior, and behavior determines the state of life and then determines fate.

? Therefore, adjusting the meaning we give to things in time is also standardizing our future direction. The famous abc theory is the same principle.

? Husband and wife often have hysterical quarrels, unable to communicate with family members, leading to alienation of relatives. At first, it may all stem from an unreasonable belief in each other's hearts, or it may be because the two sides have different meanings for something.

This is also the meaning of negotiation. All the problems of manifestation stem from the meaning you give to people. Through guidance, we can help you find this root, adjust the meaning and belief given in time, and the problem will be solved.

? Do you have such an experience? Every time I encounter a problem, I may not understand it myself. I wanted to ask my friends, but when I said it, I said the solution, so I was relieved or solved the problem.

It has always been a popular joke for young people to go to temples to find experts to solve their doubts. Experts never tell us the truth directly as parents treat us, but make a small demonstration with objects around them, so that young people can experience it themselves and often have an epiphany.

? Is it true that young people guess what the Zen master or master means? Maybe young people give ordinary things their own meaning.

? This principle is widely used in leadership and personnel management, and the famous grow model is this principle. Ask questions, guide the other person to think, and use some tools or objects to help the other person think deeply and find a solution to the problem.

At the beginning of the article, I said an example: I originally asked a friend, but later I said the solution myself. In fact, this is also the truth.

This principle can be applied to educating children, guiding subordinates, helping friends and family, and can also be used in the consultation of consultants.

? In the new year of 2020, Mr. dorri specially provided oh card consultation for our partners to help us sort out the present situation and our own hearts. Because our time is always staggered, we made an appointment with dorri for nearly 10 days, and finally we made an appointment for the Lantern Festival.

I never knew what the oh card was before listening to my friends talk about it. As a tool, it can help us solve any problems. I didn't realize the magical function of oh card until dorri consulted 1 hour yesterday.

Next, I will explain my understanding of oh card from the perspective of career planners and ordinary tourists.

The whole consultation is divided into four main processes, and the first three processes can add a step of refinement and deep excavation respectively, namely:

1, visitors ask specific questions,

2. Explore solutions and dig deep into potential problems.

3. What are you going to do and refine the method?

Step 4 look forward to the results

For each of the above seven refinement links, the visitor extracts a card and guides the visitor to think deeply according to the problems to be solved and the tips given by the card.

As a tool, oh card can be divided into word card and map card, which is similar to psychological consultation and career planning consultation. With the help of simple and clear tools, help visitors think deeply and alleviate the pain caused by breaking through cognition.

? The following will take my own question as a case, reproduce that consultation and take you through the seven steps again. I hope you can get some oxygen from my atypical case.

Like many visitors, my question was not clear at first. Many problems haunt me, like a century-old tree, which seems to be very important but can't be solved. So under the guidance of teacher dorri, I took out the first card and made the question clear.

? When I drew the first card, I laughed with a snow. The original problem is so clear, I know it well, but it is so trite that I despise it and try my best to find other problems that I think may exist, the so-called deeper problems.

Not far away is the tangled tree. I can get close to it at once, but I can't bear to let it go, because a few delicate flowers at my fingertips make my eyes dazzled and my thoughts confused.

My definite goal is like a tree not far away. I can see the way to the big tree at a glance, but many "tasks" I set for myself in front of me have made me stagnate. I am tired of the flowers in front of me, which has made me stagnate and unable to extricate myself.

So I made my question clear: I want to get to a place and get married in five years, but I can't break through.

? Inspired by the trees and flowers in the card, I thought: I want to catch the deep-sea monster, but I still cast a net near the sea. I think that behemoth is fresh and delicious every day, but it lingers because of the large number and high density of offshore fish, and even the necessary ships to enter the deep sea have not begun to prepare.

? There are many obstacles to achieving the goal. Some people say that material obstacles are the most difficult. In fact, there are two decisive factors, one of which is bound to fail.

First: glance left and right is not firm.

Second: You can't have your cake and eat it.

If there is nothing specific, everything is like catching a shadow, waving your teeth in the air. You think you can catch some clues, but you get nothing.

? Let's get this straight. Let's draw another card. Oh!

This tells me that the traffic lights in front of me are affecting my behavior and life, but I am caught in the chaos in front of me because my goal is still far away, blurring my goal and the overall situation. Busy only for the present, gives birth to the heart of being content with the status quo and muddling along.

Teacher dorri raised an important question: What really puzzles me? List it!

I have listed the main problems that I am busy or worried about at present. Eight items, excluding health investment, emotional investment and job requirements. The other five are sideline activities, and my hobbies are not included here.

? Less is more, because our time and energy are limited, greed will cause psychological pressure, which will lead to nothing being done well and it is difficult to achieve something in a certain field. So the first step is to screen out the important things and put them in the first place.

Then I made it clear that my goal must be achieved through my career first. Although sideline can exercise my core competitiveness and feed back my career development, my problem is that I am not focused and need to distinguish what I want to do from what I need to do.

When I look at the third card, isn't this just to let me manage my time?

I used to do time management, but this time, after focusing on goals and streamlining matters, time management will be more dynamic. Moreover, we should pay attention to the daily struggle for money and should not do extreme things.

My first reaction to this card is the environment: to integrate into the circle or community and artificially create a favorable environment.

Environmental management can be said to be a little assistant to time management. By artificially dividing the environment, different substances are divided.

I was so busy at work some time ago that I didn't have time to dance in the dance studio. Colleagues in the dance studio go downstairs to block me every few days, and it doesn't work.

Finally, one day, I realized that I was fat 10 kilograms, and then I went to the dance studio to practice dancing. Colleagues saw me say that sentence, which made me very useful. He said, "Dance well in the dance studio and work hard in the company." This also reminds me that I can manage my time by dividing the environment.

This is why the study should not put beds and sofas, and the gym should not be next to the kitchen.

You may, like me, see this card, which is full of loneliness, loneliness and hurt. When you watch it again, I feel isolated from the outside world and want to be alone. Why run away from the outside world? It shows that the outside world has given us some pressure.

I like Mahatma Gandhi's words very much: "Nothing can hurt us unless we allow it." Do we feel the pressure from the outside world because we are eager to win recognition from the outside world? Are we eager to prove ourselves to the outside world? Even if some things don't need to be proved, proof is meaningless.

? A lot of things we do may be just to prove that we have gained some recognition, or we are eager to conform to the social trend, but we forget whether what we do is really needed or meets our goals. We need to put aside a wave of emotional and rational analysis.

After the consultation, I made a capacity development analysis for myself:

? As mentioned above, apart from emotional input, hobbies and health input, there are only five sideline or learning contents left in my mind at present.

These five things can cultivate abilities: community operation, interpersonal communication, hosting speeches, career planning and resource integration.

? Ability is urgently needed for work: writing, communication and speech, improvisation, business etiquette, resource integration. (Red is the ability that the sideline has not exercised)

? Since it is urgently needed, it is foolish not to pay attention to the exercise of these abilities.

The remaining sideline or learning content after the screening of cohesion and time and energy cost is: communication speech and career planning.

According to the needs of work, the current training abilities or learning contents include: writing, communication and speech, business etiquette, improvisation, and resource integration.

Further integration and pertinence:

1, communicative speech and writing have an intersection, which lies in a large number of input and high-frequency output exercises.

What should I enter? You can't be greedy with limited energy, and accurate learning is the best policy.

How to draw accurately? First of all, you need to know what you want to output, starting from the end. I need the output: just fill it in yourself, so I won't go into details here.

2. Improvisation is based on the understanding of business etiquette. Without understanding the basic etiquette and hidden rules, even the most basic occasions can't be obtained, let alone the contingency.

Teacher dorri asked me, what exactly do you want by doing this?

After several inquiries, I finally found out the core needs of all my behaviors.

First, make money.

Second, improve yourself in order to achieve a.

To tell the truth, at first glance, I can't think of any feelings. Wang Fan's teacher has been guiding and digging, and I finally got a feasible method.

I noticed this man's hand, one in his pocket, the other sticking out, palm up, as if accepting something.

After teacher dorri's repeated questioning, I finally worked out a course of action within one year: keep the obsession of going to A, focus on 1 to achieve the goal, and step by step as planned.

I saw the scene of being warmly welcomed after reaching the goal of the first stage, like returning home with clothes on, like returning to my hometown with honor.

Teacher dorri's oh card is like a pusher, urging me to sort out the problems that I have been thinking about all this time. I said, thank you for saving me.

Yes, that's what counseling is all about.