First, because dad can generously tell us all kinds of workplace truths, some of which may be difficult to print into books, are out of social orthodoxy and tell us directly in a positive way. After entering social work, I found that there are really too many things that were not taught to me by my family, school or company. Especially important workplace communication skills have not been systematically studied. So when I first came out to work, I also stepped on many pits. For example, because my boss encouraged me to draw cakes, I didn't get any reward for working too much. Because my colleagues can show off and know the routine, my credit will be inexplicably transferred to other colleagues because of the boss's suppression. Because I have suffered too much in the workplace, I sincerely feel the importance of learning the methods of self-protection in the workplace, and the key to self-protection in the workplace is interpersonal communication, so I began to read a lot of books about communication and paid for some courses for professional coaches, but I found two major problems. The first problem is that most communication books are theoretical and difficult to translate and apply. Most of them are anxious negotiation scenes, which I don't usually need. Moreover, some mechanisms behind China's national conditions and the dark side of human nature have not been pointed out. The second problem is that those professional coaches will bring all kinds of poisoned chicken soup while revealing the truth about the workplace. Ask if your salary is holding back the national GDP. How much do primary school students in Shanghai know about English and how much talent do they have? Where are your children? It is difficult to compare various situations and produce various anxieties. I know that some workplace methods can make people feel chilling, but those career coaches will use them on their own students to show their authority by suppressing them. It was not until I met my dad in Weibo that I found that what my dad wrote was really pragmatic and could be applied to the workplace in China. Moreover, he didn't give birth to all kinds of anxiety, but pointed out the truth layer by layer, and then he would teach you how to say and do it step by step, instead of suggesting that you should pay further in a positive way. I'm glad to meet my father at an extremely difficult stage in my life.
Secondly, Dad will give abundant examples to illustrate how to protect himself, which is more beneficial to him. Dad will go straight to the point and get back the vague points of others. At school, we have teachers, textbooks and exercises, with high marks as the direction of our efforts and famous schools as the reasons for our struggle. But in the workplace, we have no teachers and textbooks, but we have a lot of "exercises" to complete. The company will take performance as the direction of your efforts, and the boss will turn his goal into yours. The terrible thing is that if you can't get into the university, you will find that your understanding of social humanity is blank except writing questions. If you are betrayed, you will find that you have been making wedding dresses for others from beginning to end, but in fact, you have done very little for yourself. What problems can we find from this phenomenon? That is, we have been aiming at the goals set by others to make ourselves conform to the mainstream of society, or others have secretly/openly replaced your original goals, so that we can reap your efforts. Others are using means to blur your goal, and finally achieving the means itself becomes your biggest goal. In order to cope with this situation, we should install a "dual system" for ourselves. System A takes the mainstream route, conforms to the main social rules and gives itself a competitive ticket. Traditional school teachers and university teachers can help you in this respect. System B takes the opportunity route, understands the dark side of social humanity, analyzes the internal interest chain, grasps the emerging scientific and technological tools, and gives itself a chance to stand out. In this regard, there is a senior Internet practitioner like Dad who can help you. This dual system is convenient for you to walk around the rivers and lakes and lock your own goals.
Third, my father set an example, improved the style of writing, lost weight successfully, and insisted on putting in valuable content for many years. Although my dad used to speak in a straightforward style and felt uncomfortable after reading the benefits, after working for a long time, I found that my dad was really much better than those who had always had a good attitude, but would never solve substantive problems with you. In knowing people, we must look at what the other person has done. Whether the other party's attitude is good or not is not the most important, but the key is to solve substantive problems. Whether the other party gives advice or not is not the most important, but the key is to provide substantive help. After all, it is easy to pretend to have an attitude, but if you really want to solve the problem, there is no possibility of relaxation. Opinions are warm and empty, but neither you nor the other party, resources and abilities are worthy of opinions, which is also in vain.
observe
I have learned to observe others more, and I have a specific anchor point when observing, which reduces my fear of things I don't understand. The "Brown's Law" shared by my father made me very useful. Dad said that everyone has a heart lock. As long as it can be opened once, it can be used repeatedly. One is to observe each other's general character. The second is to understand each other's hobbies and what to value. Enthusiastic about classifying each other. The other party may have three States: willing to talk, willing to talk, unwilling to talk. For those who are willing to talk but don't want to listen, take the initiative to provide a stage, ask in-depth and interesting questions, and let the other party play. For those who are willing or unwilling to listen, find some interesting topics to chat with each other. In order to close the distance between myself and students and parents, I began to improve my original student files and parents' files, make phone calls, do questionnaires, and pay attention to the psychological lock of students and parents when doing classroom activities. And make your own observation list, as follows:
(1) What are the schedules and daily activities of children and parents?
(2) What do children like to do at home besides studying? What do children like to do best when they go out?
(3) How much time do parents spend on their children outside of work?
(4) What are the differences between children's personalities at school and at home? If not, why?
(5) Who are the children's friends in class? What kind or hobby do you have?
(6) Who do children like to cooperate with and who do not want to cooperate with when doing group activities? Why?
(7) Is the child introverted or extroverted? Do you have a strong purpose or do you need someone to guide him to dig?
(8) What worries children most?
(9) Who is the child's favorite idol and why?
(10) What is the most fulfilling and frustrating thing for children?
Recently, I found that some introverted students in my class like Korean men's team BTS very much, so I did some classroom activities with simplified BTS English reading materials, and found that their interest and activity in participating in the activities were obviously improved. Before, I was worried that if I introduced these materials, my parents would think that I encouraged my children to idolize. Later, after investigation, it was found that some students' parents like listening to BTS songs themselves, and some parents think that it is impossible to stop their children from idolizing, so their grades will not deteriorate because of idolizing. Therefore, my action can proceed smoothly. Before planning, it is very important to collect first-line information, do activities well and sort out information. Just like a chef, you should inquire about the appetite of the guests, make sure that your ingredients are fresh and safe, and then test your cooking skills.
appreciate
I learned to appreciate each other more and put all the credit on others. At the time of contact, others are more fond of me and appreciate me. The praise method shared by dad for elders, leaders and colleagues is very practical.
I also applied the praise method to my family, and my family was obviously much happier. They also said, "You still know me" and were more willing to share what they saw and heard with me.
When a female colleague says that she has gained weight recently and her face has become round, I will say that there is no such thing, and praise her for her good skin and good complexion. Today, it looks good. In this case, my female colleague will let me know if there is any latest news.
The big leader said that I have made progress, and I always put the credit on the leaders directly under me, so that the leaders directly under me have light on their faces. Although her help to me is limited, the scope of decentralization has been slightly expanded.
Dad also shared that when others talk about topics you don't understand, you can bring them back to your daily life with words of concern or praise. In this way, my male colleagues told me some sports events that I didn't understand, and I could also answer the questions. Before, I didn't understand. It's best to hide when you can, but after listening to my father's class, I found it unnecessary to hide.
express
I learned to chat in different places and in different natures. I learned from my dad how to distinguish between people who can only talk and people who can talk. I learned what topics to talk about, what taboos to have, and how to show my value when I have a heart to heart, so as to strive for a win-win situation. I also know the importance of establishing a good workplace image. What you think of yourself is not the most important thing, but what the boss thinks of you is the most important thing. If you pay but don't show it, you will let other colleagues who don't pay but show it take advantage of you. If you don't package yourself with performance, others may take advantage of it and force you to lose your principles again and again.
"The Prince" has a very good saying, "A person who is willing to swear to be good and self-sustaining in everything will eventually perish among the evil people. The monarch must learn to do evil and use or not use this ability as needed. " Evil here means that you have the ability to fight back against those who violate you, and you have the freedom to choose whether to fight back. The same is true in the workplace. It is dangerous to work hard and feel that you can do it well. We must practice some means of self-protection to make others dare not act rashly, so that our "good wish" to create more value can continue.
I'm glad I met my father. Like ordinary netizens, my dad and I have never met or chatted, but his light from the media has illuminated many people's career paths. I have also been paying attention to his articles and videos for a long time, as if my father had been with me all the way. Thank you for not bothering you with small business partners in the community. They are very enthusiastic and polite, and they have been paying silently, making the atmosphere in the community very warm. Thanks to the feedback from other team members, we learned a lot from each other's word homework. I hope dad and friends in the distant community are all well. This trip to the community is very fulfilling. Through long-term efforts, we should put the methodology taught by dad to the ground. Let's cheer together!