Many people think that some people think that this is probably another case that "marriage is the grave of love, and after a long time, it will enter the stage where the left hand touches the right hand without feeling".
It may also be that people or artists in the entertainment circle have particularly unusual behaviors.
It was not until I and other ordinary people began to practice that I found that couples who dared to sleep in separate rooms were the ultimate in harmonious love!
Of course, we must understand that this kind of sleeping in separate rooms is not a "passive" sleeping in separate rooms. For example, after giving birth to a child, the father who claimed that "going to work the next day will not affect sleep" openly evaded getting up in the middle of the night to change diapers with milk powder.
This kind of sleeping in separate rooms is definitely the number one killer in the relationship between husband and wife! At this stage, even if you can't help kicking him, you should wake him up so that fathers can't experience the hard work of raising children. How can they understand each other and really think that raising a child like them can be solved in one second?
Ye Fei advocated "sleeping in separate rooms", which evolved to "purify the spiritual realm and soul", respect each other's self-space, and give both sides independent significance.
The general scenario is as follows:
When the children are older, they can sleep independently. They don't need pig teammates to change diapers with milk powder in the middle of the night. They can start to pursue career development, constantly visit customers around during the day and deal with difficult business problems. When I got home, I felt guilty for my child's absence. I accompanied the child, educated the child, and yelled at the child to do homework until the child went to bed. Finally, the world quieted down and my own time began-
As an old mother who still has some life pursuit, I want to read books, listen to online courses, empty shopping carts in Taobao, read official WeChat account articles and understand what is happening in the world. ...
At this time, lying down all night, playing games, brushing videos, the evil pig teammate lying next to you said that husband and wife need to communicate, come on, let's talk, or make out.
At this time, you will gush out an endless sadness. What have we done as women? Why are we so miserable? We gave a job during the day and a child at night. It's hard to find your own time, and you have to dedicate yourself to your husband. Where is our own space?
When a woman spends all her time and energy living for others and loses her space, she will only wither and look disgusting!
So I decided to tear it several times before going to bed and divide it! Room! Sleep!
In TV dramas, there are often nagging housewives who spit out their pig teammates:
"Let's wait until the children are older. I really can't go on with you. You don't fold the quilt. You snore when you eat, your feet stink, your socks are thrown everywhere, and things are piled everywhere. I'm tired of seeing you! "
Indeed, no matter how much the husband and wife in the same relationship love each other, it is completely normal that everyone is an independent individual, grew up in different families and has different living habits and values.
For example, one is afraid of the heat and wants to turn on the air conditioner to sleep, while the other feels cold and prefers to endure the heat to sleep;
One likes to stay up late playing with his mobile phone, and the other likes to take good care of himself and go to bed early for beauty.
Even if two people stay up late, they may not be synchronized. Maybe it just happened that I stayed up for your health, and I stayed up for your health.
One likes to sleep on a hard bed and the other likes a soft mattress;
One likes quilt sheets, the other likes bamboo mats;
One likes to sleep with the light on, and the other can't sleep in the light;
One sleeps quietly, and the other can't sleep without playing audio.
……
Most couples who share the same bed like to indulge each other year after year, thinking that it is love, but it is actually a choice to reduce the quality of feelings and life.
Needless to say, when couples reach a certain stage, who will always play the role of accommodating? When no one wants to play that role, contradictions and resentment arise.
It is better to give each other some space and give each other some freedom, such as direct division! Room! Sleep!
Sleeping in separate beds can only be understood as a starting point for the independent relationship between husband and wife.
A very important topic can be derived from this, that is, the division of family space venues.
This is especially important when there is a hoarder at home.
When I first moved into my new home, I made a bookcase with a big wall, thinking about how beautiful and comfortable it would be for the family to read each other in the living room full of books.
However, the actual situation has evolved into: except for a few bookcase spaces, most bookcase spaces are filled with all kinds of inexplicable sundries of pig teammates, such as basketball trophies, mobile phone cases hoarded by various mobile phones, expired electronic products, limited edition sneakers collected, and even wine bottles collected outside for entertainment. ...
The shoe cabinet at home has not been spared. It turns out that I also designed a whole row of 3×6 shoe cabinets. I think as a woman, a clean and tidy shoe cabinet is also a reflection of the quality of life. Immediately found that 70% of the shoe cabinets were immediately occupied by a "shoe education institution", and I was so tired!
So is the bedroom. Some people think he is Iron Man. Dealing with a word document requires three or four screens, and all kinds of power cords and devices are intertwined, which makes him upset.
Since the room was divided, his messy things are no longer allowed to stay in my room without a sense of boundaries, and finally I can return to the single room clean and tidy!
This is really a great psychological comfort for an old mother who still has some ideas about the quality of life!
In fact, in modern life, marriage is not so much a relationship between two people as an economic status.
For example, we should bear the investment and mortgage of the house, share the family expenses and raise the children together, or divide the work into two parts, one outside the main house and the other inside the main house.
Of course, it may be because of emotional attraction at first, but people's feelings will change. How can we ensure that these feelings will not change in a long life? However, from the perspective of economy and efficiency, the property of economic isomorphism cannot be changed.
If the family is a recognized economy, then both husband and wife are actually board members. No one has ever seen board members work together every day. Of course, they only meet when they need to hold regular board meetings, right?
I remember a principle in physics that two atoms that are too close will produce repulsion, and they must be far enough away to attract each other.
Husband and wife are actually like molecules. If there is no space for each other, we will only be squeezed out, don't want to be with each other, want to be farther away from each other, and even break the economy, then the price will be much higher!
If we can clearly see that they belong to different levels and draw a clear line, then we should maintain an independent emotional space without shaking the same body of the economy.
Of course, sleeping in separate rooms does have a cost, that is, the house should be big enough and there should be enough rooms, so we should work hard to make money for the harmony of marriage!
But this is a virtuous circle of repair, and a harmonious marriage can make people have more energy to expand their careers.
I heard that I can climb to the top of my life and start sleeping in separate rooms. Do you believe me?