"What are you doing/I'm waiting for Godot/when will he come/I don't know/I'm waiting for my Godot, but I really don't know when he will come/he told me/he will come/let me wait for him here/I promised him/waited for him/I waited for my Godot hopelessly/this kind of waiting is doomed to be long/I waited in the endless night of hell/I'm afraid there is no starlight.
He closed the book at night, looked at the bright stars, folded his hands, held up the lower half of his face, and thought about this beautiful and heartbreaking conversation. ?
It's hard to say how cold it is. He drank some lemonade, put the book under his arm, and walked out casually, walking up and down in the wind. ?
The harbor is as bright as day, and the whistle is always on. He put one hand on the guardrail, raised his chin slightly and watched the cruise ship enter the thick night. He couldn't help laughing at the thought of this, like a bloated lady shaking her silk fan lazily and walking away. He suddenly heard Cantonese songs, soft and crisp, dreamlike and full of ears. As if it were a distant call, let him reach divinity in an instant. He couldn't help looking for a sound, gently pushed the crowd in front of him and turned into a dimly lit bar. ?
The woman's face line is tough, and she is held servilly by surging curly hair. Raise eyebrows and enrich lips, giving people the sense of sight of Hong Kong female stars in the last century. She sat on a high stool in a casual posture. Many people have their own good things. She is good at raising her head, but her eyebrows are low. Such people have self-esteem, understand their own beauty and despise the understanding of others. Their values are self-contained and have nothing to do with the world. Accidental singing attraction seems to be the necessity of mutual confirmation, and finally returns in the form of beauty. He took a seat at random and stared blankly at the dark blue magnesium lamp floating on her shiny sideburns. It suddenly dawned on him that he understood the scholar's affection for Ying Ning in Liaozhai, and he "stared at it and forgot to take care of it". He once thought that it was an inexperienced scholar's simple love desire when he first met a beautiful woman. So far, he has found that this feeling has a deeper meaning, but he can't say it at the moment. It's just that my ears are full of deep and gentle Cantonese. He looked down at the novel in his hand and was absent-minded.
? The man of the same age next door stood up, applauded and even whistled to her. He suddenly felt that what he saw in front of him was like an ancient gesture of looking at the audience and holding a horn. Of course, this contempt was quickly stopped by him in time, because the people in front of him were surprisingly clean. He heard a boy say loudly, "Keiko Kitagawa, can you sing folk songs?" She gave them a faint look and said nothing but shook her head. So the boys walked out of the bar in disappointment. He heard someone calling her name, which turned out to be a Japanese name. He squinted and his eyes were gentle. This undoubtedly fits the fantasy of a China boy who loves Japanese literature. Recently, he was infatuated with Alain de Botton's love notes, and suddenly remembered a sentence inside: "This is just fate, and there is no other possibility. It makes us persistently think about the great impossibility behind this encounter that changes our lives. Someone must be playing with our fate at an altitude of 30 thousand feet. " Putting a narrative label on this encounter is undoubtedly close to mysticism or literary whitewash. Although I am very clear in my heart, I am still obsessed with irrelevant ideas. At the same time, she secretly likes that she can't speak folk songs, because she thinks that what is sought after by too many people can only be superficial, so who in this world can understand the taste? It is better to look at others from a distance and be ecstatic, cold and in a hurry, especially a beautiful and affectionate expression. This tepid character may be shaped by years of reading, and it is also changing his way of thinking and aesthetic taste.
? At this moment, there are only two of them in this shabby bar. Let it go. Be quiet. It was also in an instant that this dilapidated bar suddenly blushed in the struggle of half-life, and at a glance it controlled the cold rain and frost all over the sky. Look at each other and feel at ease. Those ordinary feelings suddenly came back to life.
Jingzi glanced at him and asked slowly, "What Cantonese songs do you want to listen to? I will concentrate on singing for you alone. " She leaned forward cautiously, silently observing the change of his expression. She gave him a deep look, which was beyond the norm and different from her usual way of looking at people. He smiled, his eyes drooped, and he answered seriously and slowly, "Deep night harbor." Jingzi suddenly raised his head, smiled faintly and whispered, "You really know that man, huh?"
? Long skirts flying in the wind seem romantic/but people are drifting away at other times/lonely in the wind of black scarves/neon lights standing alone in this full harbor/wind ……?
He listened to her singing emotionally, and he was secretly hurt. Thinking about the hardships of your life, you can only smile bitterly. It is only here that he seems to be endowed with the right to enjoy beauty, and there is no heavy obligation for him to undertake. This one-way mode makes him feel very comfortable and gentle. He lazily put his hand behind his head and fell on the chair, but his eyes fell right on Jingzi's lips, thinking of the love poems he had read in the past. Unconsciously singing, Jingzi raised his chin slightly, looked down at him, held down her expression with a rambling expression, and then nodded to leave. She hung her hair loosely over her shoulders and felt its caress. The way she walks is independent, steady and manly, as if she has tasted all the strange things in the world and is carefree. He looked at her with a smile. Soon he staggered out of the bar with a book in his hand, with endless aftertaste. The ultimate beauty is the end of beauty. ?
The night in the harbor is blurred, and people eat in the smoke. Vendors selling cold noodles, gluten, braised noodles, sausages, etc. Mixed with dried fruits and fruits, it gives off a special luster, just like still life depiction. He looked thoughtfully at those who ate, drank and criticized, and suddenly understood the value and rarity of Jingzi's existence in this world. She is a lotus flower on a mountain four thousand meters high. She has seen the source of great rivers and understands the composition of macro things, so she keeps a certain distance from everything.
In the next few days, he always came here intentionally or unintentionally, but he couldn't see her. It is said that young people like folk songs now, so she is an unpopular marginal person, and an unprofitable person will leave this place sooner or later. If he loses something, he just sits in the bar and looks at the young people around him indifferently, singing songs driven by high emotions, and really doesn't understand why they are so happy. He is like a lost ship. He is late and he doesn't know what to do. Somehow I remembered Xu Zhimo's poem: "Countless nights/I stood alone in the cold wind/on the bridge under the old orange tree/just to hear the nightingale's cry/I leaned against the moss on the stone fence/the moss cooled my heart/but the nightingale didn't come/the nightingale didn't come", oh, it was out of place. Without people, there is no experience, and he becomes no longer specific, just vanity and emptiness. Except forgetting or forgetting.
Four years just spent in all kinds of soft novels and poems, waiting for an absurd beauty with disappointment and expectation. Until after graduation, he passed by and heard Cantonese songs rising slowly: "Today's beautiful scenery can no longer/no longer add sadness to me/the sunset seems to be fading away/it will disappear in the distant future …" He stood up straight and stood in the evening breeze for a long time, without choosing to go in.
Take a good look at the night view of the port.