Instant funny jokes, most of the jokes in life reveal the abnormal phenomena in life. Many people like to watch jokes in daily life, which can help us face the troubles in life. Let's share an instant joke.

Instant joke 1 1, the person I like, he has a whole body of warmth.

2. What you like may not be suitable for you, but what accompanies you is the best.

I want to exchange all my money for 1 a road to your heart.

4, all night, all of you, I know what infatuation is.

There are chestnuts in winter, mangoes in summer, and you and me in all seasons.

6. You are so cute that I can't help kissing you.

7. Love deeply rooted in my heart is with you.

8. We argue today, laugh tomorrow and think far.

9. There is no wine in your dimple, but I am drunk to death.

10, inadvertently, your smile became my whole world.

1 1. People who are destined to be together, no matter how big the circle, will still return to each other.

12. Today, I threw my toffee into the mud because I like mud.

Every time I miss you, the stars in the sky are shining.

14, in decadence, you are rich and auspicious.

15. Missing is like a river, which flows endlessly to the sea and my heart.

Looking at your smile, I suddenly feel that I am the happiest person in the world.

17, because of you, I believe in true love, because of you, I hope forever.

18, the sunshine you once gave me is warm to this day.

19, love is like running water, love is like peach blossom, live with me and dream together.

20. The strongest wine I have ever drunk is your tender feelings burning on my chest.

2 1, I love you all my life, and kissing you 1000 times is not enough!

22. Because of you, my sky is colored.

23. If you end up poor, I will be your last luggage.

24. Long-distance love, if we survive the time, we will win.

25. Health means staying up late with you every day.

26. The meeting of lovers is destiny takes a hand's fate.

27. I want to take a selfie with you and use reading glasses instead of filters.

28. I miss you, how much I miss you, as loudly as when the plane takes off.

Thank you for your rudeness, which made me learn to give up.

30. When the mobile phone receives a new message, its heart beats faster, but it's not yours.

3 1, you don't have to be good, I like it, I'm not good, you don't mind.

32. Every heart is a flower, and you are the most beautiful one.

If you were water, I would like to become a bowl and put you in my heart.

Happiness is far from you, and you are not satisfied.

35. Be romantic, taste sweetness, record happiness and write down your heart: Love you forever!

Love is like a ray of sunshine in winter, which warms your cold heart.

37. I hope you can go over the mountains to see the sea without my company.

In my mind, you are the most addictive thing in the world.

39. There are three kinds of people in this world, the bad guys, the shemale and my people.

40. Loving you with my whole youth is the most extravagant thing I have ever done.

4 1, I really want to be your cup and hold it in your hand.

I think you must be very busy, just look at the first three words.

43. We should be together, otherwise it would be cruel.

44. Spend a sweet and romantic life with you until the end of time.

45. I prefer to have roses in the wild. When I am tired, I will have you at home.

46. I am a wild horse, but I also want to be a cat in your arms.

47. I feel you, I feel warm, and there is no loneliness in my heart.

48. I am not good at math, but I can say: 520.

49. I'd like to get back to you.

50. Later, love became a song, a note and a song.

5 1, it's not that I can't live without my mobile phone, but that I can't live without you over there.

52. Finally, I said I hate you, but I hate you because I love you.

53. It seems that apart from liking you, the longest thing I insist on is breathing.

54. I want to be everything related to you, protect you and make you happy.

Thank you for your company. I love you day and night.

Your eyes are not as beautiful as mine, because I have you in my eyes.

57. I'm possessive, and you can't get away from me.

When I think of you, my ugly face will smile.

Instant joke 2 1, "What are you going to do on Tanabata?" "Play Lianliankan." "Why?" "It's a pair that can destroy a pair."

2. "There must be a light bulb in a threesome." "Well, don't call it a light bulb in the future, call it the brightest star in the night sky."

3. "I am a good-natured person. If one day someone steps on my bottom line. " "What would that be like?" Then I'll lower the bottom line again. "

The girl I liked when I was a child turned me down. Twenty years later, she recognized me. She asked me how I was doing. I excitedly replied, "Aunt, who are you?"

5. I accidentally cut my hand when cutting meat, and blood dripped on the pork. My brother said, "Do you want to know your relatives by dropping blood?" Xiong Haizi, come here, I promise I won't hit you.

6. Rooney couldn't accept the result of Italy's defeat and shot himself. After a gunshot, Rooney got up from the ground and scolded angrily, "Paralysis shot high again."

7. Kidnapper: "I have your head teacher." Student: "I won't give you money." Kidnapper: "I'll let him go immediately if I don't pay." Student: "I'll get the money right away."

8. You left me many beautiful moments that I can't erase. You made me understand each other and cherish each other, making every moment an eternal memory. Thank you for everything. Happy Thanksgiving to you!

9. Being grateful for a long time will give you long-term gratitude, long-term happiness, long-term sweetness, long-term luck, long-term health, long-term' happiness', long-term comfort and long-term success. Happy thanksgiving!

10, thanks to the people who love me and the people I love, to everyone who met and accompanied me, to the life that made us feel happy and helpless, and to all the friends who are reading text messages. Happy Thanksgiving!

1 1. There are forty-four stone lions in front of the stone temple. There are forty-four astringent persimmons on the tree in front of the temple. Forty-four stone lions don't eat forty-four astringent persimmons, and forty-four astringent persimmons eat forty-four stone lions instead.

12, talking too much makes you tired, walking too much makes you tired, thinking too much makes you cry, worrying about your involvement every day, worrying about your frustration, worrying about your boredom, worrying about your debts, worrying about playing dumb and not knowing what I suffer for you!

13, friends who know about sports cars, please recommend a sports car of 4 million to 8 million, which requires good performance, fast start, high horsepower, high comfort, fashionable appearance and good appearance. I regard it as a paper wall of my mobile phone.

14, I can't help playing with my mobile phone when I study in the evening. From morning till class time, the teacher hasn't come for a long time. Suddenly, the teacher jumped out of the back door and turned off the light. As a result, children's shoes with reflective faces were taken away.

15, the year before last, I ate dog food with my mobile phone. Last year, I ate dog food with my mobile phone. This year, I still eat dog food with my mobile phone and continue to look forward to next year's Tanabata.

16, a mouse bragged. A: I eat rat poison as candy every day; B: it itches if you don't step on a mouse for a day; C: Don't go to the streets several times a day. D: it's getting late. Let's go home and hug the cat.

17, in the morning, my son cried and told me and my wife that he dreamed that his grandmother died. I said it doesn't matter, the dream is reversed. When he dreamed that his grandmother was dead, it might be his grandmother. I felt three blood stains on my face and wanted to cry.

18, one day, a frog kissed the rabbit and ran away. The rabbit followed and the frog jumped into the pond in despair. Soon, a toad climbed out, and the rabbit laughed: Haha, allergic!

19. One day, the hen was flying on the roof, and the owner said angrily, Come down. If you don't come down, I'll kill all the cocks here and make your life hell. The hen smiled and said yes, haha, finally we can find the duck.

20. I will be very happy with you. You are my pistachio. Every time I get close to you, I feel warm, and tonight is no exception. After waiting for a long time to finally meet you, I want to say loudly: I love your computer!

2 1, took my son to the hospital for an injection, and the nurse cried as soon as she picked up the needle tube for her son. I said, "Don't cry, it will hurt more if you cry." The son is puzzled: "Why does it hurt more?" I said, "Because I will hit you."

22, someone is sick is a big deal, someone is sick and improper, the parties may not really have something, improper things may not be okay; Men do women's things, women do men's things, and men and women are the easiest to tell stories!

23. One day, Lao Wang took a bus, and a pregnant woman got on the bus and found that there was no place. She said to Lao Wang, who was sitting by, "Didn't you see that I was pregnant?" Lao Wang looked at the pregnant woman in surprise and said, "Were we neighbors before?"

24. It is too exaggerated and untrue to say that I love you for ten thousand years, but loving you all my life is my lifelong pursuit; It's too extravagant to want to be with you forever, but it's always my wish to be with you. I love you, RMB!

25. The drunk went to the ATM to withdraw money. Unexpectedly, the card was "eaten" by ATM. The drunk was very anxious. An acquaintance happened to pass by, so give him a suggestion and pour the wine in quickly. The drunkard asked: Why? The acquaintance smiled: if you drink too much, it will vomit!

26. Whether you see me or not, my short message will be sent to you; Whether you miss me or not, the desire in my heart will not change; Do you love me or not? My words are still the same. Paying off debts is a matter of course.

27. Only those who dare to face themselves can see the way forward; Only those who dare to face the darkness can see the dawn; Only those who dare to face you can see your face before makeup: you are a relative of Bajie!

28. Flowers, whether elegant or bright, are always planted in pots; The moon, whether far away or not, is always hanging in the sky; Friendship, far or near, is always in your hands; Friends, see or not, always keep in mind! Wish my dear friends a happy day!

29. A: It is too serious for people in the city to worship foreign things and flatter foreign countries. Look, even the English letters are written in the toilet. B: It's different in the countryside, isn't it? Just a "toilet"? A: Of course not. In the countryside, it says "against the West".

30. On the first day of work after the holiday, you should adjust your biological clock, ensure a good sleep, eliminate your fear of going to work, come to work happily, work wholeheartedly, and your colleagues and leaders applaud. Good luck in your work and make a lot of money!

3 1, greetings are used to warm the heart, and continuous sending is used to convey care; Constantly sending, greetings are within reach, and friends' hearts are closer. Repeated attention will strengthen friendship.

32. Time is very short. I am immersed in simple, simple and happy time with my family during the New Year. Suddenly found that the previous high demands were put down. I just want to live a quiet life with my family. Insomnia ?

Mother took her brother to visit the zoo. When she came to the iron cage where the lion was kept, her mother told her, "Don't get too close, son!" " The son said generously, "Don't worry, Mom, I won't hurt it!" "

34. A psychopath is writing a letter. The nurse asked, "Who are you writing to?" The patient said, "myself." The nurse asked again, "What was written in the letter?" Patient: "You are crazy. How do you know I haven't received it yet? "

35. You ask me why I only ask where you are from, but never ask your age? In fact, it's not that I don't want to know, but because I saw you, I remembered an old saying, that is, heroes don't ask the source, hooligans don't ask the age!

36. I quarreled with my wife today. I said to her: Do you believe I hit your husband? Then I slapped myself. She looked at me and said I dare, and then she snapped. I was slapped again ... Gemma didn't play by the rules!

37. I once talked to a buddy about drinking, and I said, "It doesn't matter if you drink some wine, as long as you don't drink too much to tell the difference between the north and the south." After listening, the buddy replied huskily: "It doesn't matter whether it is divided into north and south, but it must be divided into men and women."

Instant funny joke 3 1, as the saying goes: you laugh, the whole world laughs with you; You cried. You are the only one crying in the world.

The longest love I have ever talked about is narcissism. I love myself and have no rival in love.

3. Crowding buses is a comprehensive sport including Sanda, yoga, judo, balance beam and other physical fitness programs.

4, the real warrior, idolize, ugly ugly, fat greedy, sleepy staying up late, not doing homework. How bold people are, how late homework is delayed, and the dead mouse doesn't feel cold. The more homework, the bigger the wave!

5. Don't rob me. Although I can't be coquettish, I can wrestle.

6. A boy takes you to play games, and he doesn't care about winning or losing. He doesn't like or get angry, not because he likes you very much, but because he has admitted that he can't win with you.

This joke is so funny that I have to watch a tragedy to calm my mood.

8. God is fair. He let you spend Singles' Day and won't let you spend Valentine's Day!

9. I have a bad temper, bad grades, bad temper, bad personality and bad looks. The only thing that can make me proud is: easy to digest!

10, if you watch a big tree become an exercise book, do you still have the heart to do your homework? In order to protect nature, we don't do our homework.

1 1, it's good that you left, otherwise I would have been worried that you would stay for dinner.

12, I tried to eat my sadness one by one, but I ate meatballs one by one.

13, I wish you future generations! * * * Enjoy your family! Have you thought of your grandson's name? I'm already up.

14, adolescent love is like spiritual opium. Whether you smoke or not, there are a group of Lin Zexu standing behind you.

15, I moved to a new office, the bathroom was in the corner, and the cell phone didn't work, which quickly cured me of constipation for many years.

16, the furthest distance in the world is not the distance between life and death, but the temperature difference between inside and outside the bed in winter.

17, tell me your home address, I want to change it into a public toilet.

18. Every time I see someone spitting gum in the toilet, I feel extremely angry. It still tastes when chewed. Why are you vomiting?

19, some women get scared when it thunders in rainy days, and even scare their babies to death. At night, the DJ in the bar exploded loudly, one black and one bright. Why haven't I seen you scared? Shake it hard, your mother doesn't even know you.

20. I never hold grudges. Usually I report my grievances on the spot.

2 1, everybody, does anyone want an iPhoneX? If so, please leave a comment on the color and memory you want. If you look good, please send me a link directly. By noon tomorrow 12, I will draw three lucky friends and announce which three people are so thick-skinned.

22. New definition of moonlight clan: I will eat whatever the dog eats at the beginning of the month, and I will eat whatever the dog eats at the end of the month.

23, the same is meat, why is it very popular on the chest and so annoying on the stomach? Is this geographical discrimination?

24. Mosquito, you have hands and feet. Why don't you get a job and live a good life?

25, although the famous flowers are taken, I will loosen the soil! It is difficult for rich people to have no money!

What's wrong with being ugly? I can't see it myself. It's you who's disgusting.

27. The first guy who knows that milk can be drunk, what did you do to the cow?

28. When I went to the barber's shop, the barber gave me a look after tying a scarf, and praised me for saying that beautiful women have big eyes! I said: Brother, if you tighten up a little, I can still stick out my tongue.

29, thin and fat came back from home, and the local accent did not change. Children will exclaim who you are when they see strangers, fatty. Horizontal batch: clothes are tight and return to China.

30. Every time someone is mean to me, I think there is something wrong with this person. In the face of such a lovely me, he can still lose his temper and be speechless.

3 1. There is only one way in the world. No one can go except you. Where did he go? Stop asking. Let's go. When a person doesn't know where your path will lead him, you have climbed higher than ever before.

32. It's mine. Do not move. If it's not mine, put it there for me.

33. People can't lower their noble heads, except when picking up money.

Recently, I discovered a terrible reality: everything is going up in price, but I am getting cheaper and cheaper! Looks like it's time to raise the price!

35. Spring is never partial. She sent a spring to everyone.

36. Someone once said to me: You are so handsome! I immediately replied: not handsome, not handsome, just long.

I really miss being a child. I can go shirtless like a man when it's hot!

38. There are two things that others can't take away. One is the food you eat in your stomach, and the other is the dream you hide in your heart. Therefore, as a dreamy foodie, you are invincible!

39. At the age of teenage flowers, you grow into a succulent plant.

40. Middle age is a journey to the west! The pressure of Wukong, Bajie's figure, Lao Sha's hairstyle and Tang Priest's trip are getting closer and closer to the west.

4 1, I'm a little tacky, a little boring and cute! A little lazy, a little bad, a little smart, a little rogue! Say rogue is rogue, slick love! You want to love me, then love me.

42. All along, the four spiritual pillars that support my progress in life are: waiting for work, waiting for Friday, waiting for express delivery and waiting for salary.

43. To tell the truth, I am really good in bed. I can sleep in bed for a day without eating, drinking or going to the toilet.

44. When I get angry, winter comes; When you get angry in winter, you become a long-sleeved man.

45. Outside the pavilion, beside the ancient road, fork fork, don't laugh. Although I can't remember this ancient poem, I will always remember you! I wish you happiness forever!

46. Every time you go shopping, people will tell you that if you really want it, I will give you a cheaper price. You see, sincerity is so worthless!

47. Not everyone can read, and those who can read are not good children.

48. What is a real brother? Is when a brother needs a woman, stand up and be his woman.

49. Don't call children rabbits, because from a genetic point of view, it is not good for parents.

50. Look in the mirror at night and see your snow-white body. Sigh: Good cabbage! Why can't I find a pig?

5 1. Do you know why you feel so sleepy at school? Because school is where dreams begin.

52, some things, knowing that it is wrong, still insist, because we are not willing; Some people, knowing love, have to give up because there is no ending; Sometimes, knowing that the road has gone, we are still moving forward because we are used to it.

Don't say sorry to me, because we are all fine.

54. The north wind is blowing, and the autumn wind is cool. If you have any difficulties, I will help you. I live next door. My name is Wang.

The threshold for doing anything in this era has become so high. Want to be an otaku, can you afford a house?

56. My name is Xiao Cute. When you grow up, you are called big cute. When I get old, I'll call it Old Cute. I'm cute when I'm dead.

When we were young, we often made faces in the mirror. In old age, mirrors are flat.

58. After this busy period, you can continue to be busy for a while.

59. Besides marrying you and transferring money, don't take your likes and misses too seriously. It is better to make a lot of money if you are caring and careful.

Whenever a boy says that he has cleaned up his room, the standard usually means that the road from the door to the bed has been opened.

6 1. I am small-minded but not lacking. I have a good temper, but not without it.

62. Even if I scold you at ordinary times, I won't know that I am both civil and military until I hit you.

I wanted to give life a kiss, but reality gave me two slaps.

64. Everyone has a dark side. If you say you are simple, I can only say that you are not human!

65. Everything in the world is like this. The more you think about it, the less complete it is.

66. I just wanted to turn gracefully, but I accidentally hit the wall!