Stealing the university station, several thieves took advantage of the crowd to steal wallets, which happened to be seen by a policeman on duty. Policeman: Stop, stop (catching thief). How dare you steal in front of so many people? Thief: So many people, why are you chasing me? Policeman: I can't beat others, and you are slow. Thief: Sir, give me a break. I didn't steal anything this time. I'll catch it next time. Policeman: Cut the crap. Let's go back to the police station. Thief: Have something to eat before you go. I haven't eaten for days. I haven't rested for days to catch you. Thief: Give me a break. I'll give you some next time at most. Policeman: Cut the crap and shut up. Thief: I'll give you half, or you can give me 73, okay? Policeman: All right, we policemen won't bend the law. Take the money and go back to the police station. Policeman: Sit down and answer my question honestly. Thief: yellow thief police: real name thief: yellow thief police: sex thief: you have no vision, even I can't tell whether it's a man or a woman. Policeman: (Beat) Let me ask you something. Thief: How can you hit people casually? Is there a policeman without a king's law: (fight) This is the king's law here. I can call whenever I want. If I am unhappy, I can't take it out on you. Thief: Stop it. I can't stand this number. Policeman: You can't stand my fist. Answer the question honestly if you don't want to suffer. Thief: How can I be a thief? The thief's life is really bitter. If I knew, I wouldn't be a thief. Policeman: Regret. Tiye police: Cut the crap, age thief: 20 police: educated thief: undergraduate police: (patting the table) If you want to die, tell me the truth. Thief: (handing over the card) I'm an undergraduate and I'm training now. Look, this is the school card policeman: which university thief is this? Originally called thief vocational and technical college. Now it's renamed Stealing University. I studied thief professional police: or professional police? No wonder dozens of people in our police force have been lurking on the bus for several days, but they can't catch a thief: I'm flattered. Policeman: Who is your boss? Thief: I don't know Thief: I don't know My last name is no, but I know it. This is what he said at the meeting. Policeman: Thieves also have meetings. Thief: At the annual orientation meeting, in our business, we are also responsible for introducing new students to school. Every time we introduce people, our superiors will give them to us. How many people work together? Thief: There are about 500 people, which adds up to only three people. Others are rare. They just got together at the orientation party and then left the police station in a hurry. Where did they go? Thief: I heard from the top management that they were assigned to various places for training, such as railway stations, bus stations and foreign policemen: they also went abroad to steal things. Dean pointed out at the orientation meeting, "Contemporary society is a society with developed science and technology, and scientific and technological exchanges are developing rapidly. Similarly, our theft technology should keep pace with the times and develop continuously. Therefore, we should send some college professors to study abroad, introduce foreign advanced theft technology, and train a group of new senior technical talents, so as to develop our college into a world-class theft technology university. Policeman: There are professors and thieves: Yes, there are teachers, professors, deans and party secretaries, all of whom are experts with many years of rich experience. Policeman: party secretary. Nonsense, party member, the producer party of China, serves the people. How can it harm the interests of the people? Thief: I wonder if it's party member. In short, he acted according to the system promulgated by the central government. Engineers in China advocated saving electricity, and the party secretary immediately convened a meeting to arrange some people to steal wires and electricity in residential areas to prevent residents from misusing electricity. Last time the Central Committee of the Communist Party of China passed the> Party Secretary responded to the decision of the CPC Central Committee and convened the September 18th Congress to arrange some people to steal things from universities, so as to cultivate college students' ability of self-protection, self-improvement and adaptation to society. Policeman: You arranged for thieves to come here. There are several partners, not thieves, but police who specialize in robbery and fraud. Last time, you robbed a couple. You did it. Policeman: (Beating) And seriously injured that man. Powerful. Policeman: Hit (the thief) if you don't like it. Thief: Why did you hit someone again? Policeman: If you don't like it, you will lose money. Thief: They have to thank us. Policeman: Thanks for the robbery. Thief: Now many parents propose that college students are forbidden to fall in love. In response to the parents' request, our monitor asked some people to rob couples in the streets around the university, which can reduce the behavior of couples spending money indiscriminately. And control the phenomenon of college students staying overnight in private rooms, reduce premarital sex and prevent AIDS. Actively respond to the decision of the CPC Central Committee to reduce sexually transmitted diseases to the lowest point in order to welcome the arrival of the 2008 Olympic Games. Policeman: Speaking of thieves, that's right. Are your goals all college students? Thieves: Most of them are college students and middle school students. These people are too weak to be cheated and stolen easily. Policeman: How did you act and when did you do it? Thief: Usually on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays, we dress up as college students and find a girl to accompany us, which makes people feel that we are like lovers, and we are easy to move and not easy to be found by the police: How to steal? Thief: On Saturday and Sunday, a large number of students went shopping. At this time, the number is crowded, which is a good time to steal the number. In addition, the police who stole the car couple: the couple who stole the car? Thief I don't like: No, the couple in the car are hugging. They only care about the happiness of their families and don't care about their surroundings. Even if you take off their pants, they don't know. Stealing their money is the best thing. Earn money and love watching movies. Why not? The other is someone who steals sleep. Those people sleep like pigs. Even if they threw him into the sea, they didn't know what was going on. So stealing these two kinds of people is the best, safe and profitable, as easy as blowing off dust. Policeman: The thief's skill is really superb, and his brain is not as stupid as a pig. Thief: I'm flattered. Policeman: What about cheating? Thief: Cheating is easier, more convenient and riskless. Dean pointed out at the welcome meeting that the police have been watching us closely now. Stealing is no longer the way, and the success rate is relatively low. In order to obtain higher benefits, improve the popularity of our hospital and let more people join our school, our focus has shifted to deception. Vigorously strengthen the cultivation of advanced compound technical talents such as cheating and stealing, so all majors have added deception courses. One of our masterpieces is How to Make People Better Deceived? Policeman: Can you explain the content of this course? Thief: I'm a thief, and I'm not interested in deception. I am usually lazy. I learned one thing. First, I use people's psychology. College students are psychopaths. Police: perverted thief: psychological imbalance, constant fluctuation and inexperience. I'm easily deceived. For example, the last one is very famous. I believe everyone knows that it was playing a Beijing college student who had no money to go back to school ... thief: school, we advertised that the police: stealing also advertised. Thief: "Do you want to get rich overnight? Do you want to travel abroad? Welcome to our school. Our school is a famous undergraduate school with a long history, strong teachers and first-class technology. Interested parties please contact Director Zhou. Policeman: Phone number thief: No comment. Police: school address thief: keep it a secret for the time being. Policeman: Your school is a mysterious thief. In order to prevent the police from chasing you, our school offers many discounts. Those who voluntarily apply for our school can enjoy a 20% discount on tuition fees and arrange the best internship place for you. Those who pass the exam will be awarded the bachelor's diploma and bachelor's degree certificate of China Power Stealing University. " Every Spring Festival, we have better preferential treatment for the citizens: being clever and obedient, robbing money instead of robbing women, resolutely resisting, raping first and then raping, but never killing people, so that the citizens can live a happy year. Policeman: There is also preferential treatment for stealing and robbing. How many thieves does your partner have? I've only met five people, but I don't know the others, and they are all masked policemen. Show me. Thief: OK (after a while) No, I'll acquit you. If you don't leave, you will be beaten by thieves every day in prison: if you are a man, you will die for your confidant. I will never betray my friend's policeman: you thieves are all dog-eat-dog What loyalty is there? Don't pretend to be a thief: people can be killed, but they can't be humiliated We thieves are human beings, with self-esteem, affection and righteousness, and I will die. Long live the police who stole the university in China: It is a disaster to have people like you in China. If you go to prison, you will suffer, depending on whether your mouth is hard or my fist is hard. Tan Cixu said: "I want to laugh at the sky with a horizontal knife, and I want to lose my courage." This is a big deal. Eighteen years later, I was another excellent thief.

Characters: Communist Youth League Secretary, Xiao Ai, Xiaoling and Xiao Wu.

Scene: classroom

League branch secretary: classmates, classmates, comrades and compatriots. . . Same. . . Why? Please listen to me!

Three people: Go ahead.

Communist Youth League Secretary: Are you listening?

Three people: I'm listening!

Communist Youth League Secretary: Really?

Three people: Really!

Communist Youth League Secretary: Are you sure?

Three people: OK.

Communist Youth League Secretary: No remorse?

Three people: no regrets.

Communist Youth League Secretary: Are you serious? Did you lie to me?

Three people: Do you want to talk or not?

Communist Youth League Secretary: Oh, I'm starting to talk! -What am I going to say?

Three people fainted.

Youth League Secretary: Ah! ! ! ! exactly

Three people sit up.

Youth League Secretary: I really forgot what I was going to say!

Three people fainted again.

Communist Youth League Secretary: Well, get to the point, you can't get drunk again! You should keep working hard, be self-reliant, volunteer, stand on your own feet, stand on your own feet, stand on your own feet. . . Make good changes and boycott Japanese goods!

Xiaoling: What a mess!

Communist Youth League Secretary: Xiaoling! Why do you sleep in class?

Xiaoling: I was sleepy and fell asleep!

Communist Youth League Secretary: Why don't you sleep in the dormitory?

Xiaoling: I think! But the teacher won't let me go!

Communist Youth League Secretary: Can't you sleep after class?

Xiaoling: I sleep after class!

Communist Youth League Secretary: What to do in the evening?

Xiaoling: What do you do at night?

Communist Youth League Secretary: Go to sleep!

Xiaoling: We have the same habits!

Communist Youth League Secretary: What do you do besides sleeping?

Xiaoling: It's very important! -Eat!

Communist Youth League Secretary: What about studying?

Xiaoling: I also want to consult this question!

Communist Youth League Secretary: Classmate! Please correct your attitude! Why do you sleep all day?

Xiaoling: Yes!

Communist Youth League Secretary: Can't you sleep all night?

Xiaoling fainted.

Xiao Ai: Ha ha ha!

Communist Youth League Secretary: Xiao Ai, why do you always play games?

Xiao Ai: Psychological needs!

Communist Youth League Secretary: What's interesting about the game? Play after school! Look down on you who play games the most. You have no technical content at all! Tell your teacher is very angry, and the consequences will be serious!

Xiao Wu: Haha, you hung up again!

Communist Youth League Secretary: And you, Xiao Wu!

Wu: Yes!

Communist Youth League Secretary: Look at you all day. Besides dating girls, drinking tea and walking, are these achievements worth soaking in?

Wu: Yes! There is no bright future! -No pretty girls!

Communist Youth League Secretary: No bright future-no bright future!

Students, students, comrades, and-

Three people: Just say it!

Communist Youth League Secretary: With whom!

Three people fainted.

Communist Youth League Secretary: Burning our youth!

Xiaoling: No matches!

Communist Youth League Secretary: Work hard!

Xiao Ai: I have no strength!

Communist Youth League Secretary: Get rid of your bad habits!

Wu: It won't abandon me!

League Secretary: Come on, let's work together!

Three people get down: alas!

Communist Youth League Secretary: Hurry up, hurry up, let's-

The bell rings.

Communist Youth League Secretary:-Let's eat!

Three people: Yes!

Communist Youth League Secretary: How could you? Are you so worthy of the party, the country, the people and your mother? Good enough for me?

What does Xiao Ai feel: Mom!

Youth League Secretary: Hey!

Xiao Ai: Use me!

Communist Youth League Secretary: It was an accident! Music!

(< Magic Wind > The lyrics are like this)

Xiaoling: Actually, I don't want to sleep that much! Sleep, just to escape from reality! When you sleep, you can't see the teacher who is lecturing, you can't see the serious classmates, you don't have to think about anything, you don't have to think about anything! I also want to study, but I always feel like taking a break. . .

The other three applauded.

Xiao Ai: Seriously, I don't have to play games. Because I feel tired and can't learn well, I want to paralyze myself with games! The more depressed you are, the more you play games. I am the king in the game, which gives me temporary happiness, but the worse my grades are. The worse your grades are, the more depressed you are!

The other three applauded.

Wu: To tell you the truth, I really have a lot of longing for love. I want to experience the romance after dusk at the willow tip on the moon, and also find an excuse to avoid learning! Once you relax yourself, people are lazy and don't want to study.

Three people applauded.

Communist Youth League Secretary: I think I understand your feelings. You have walked into your inner shadow! So I want to help you! As a Communist Youth League secretary, it is my responsibility to help you! As classmates, I hope the students who stay behind will return to the team!

(Music stops! ) Because we came to the same group, from that day on, we were a family! (Music "Because we are a family")

Communist Youth League Secretary: Good! Maybe you can't get used to it for a while, but I will always help you, guide you and seduce you!

Three people: huh?

Communist Youth League Secretary: No! Guide you! Lure you!

Three people: Huh?

Communist Youth League Secretary: In a word, let's work together!

Three people: fight!

Several people study hard together, help each other and relax.

Xiaoling: With the help of the Communist Youth League Secretary, I finally understand that I will have a candle every night for 36,000 days! My grades have finally appeared (take out the brand! ) excellent!

(Singing) I like sour and sweet. This is the real me. The door to classes will never come again. What a wonderful world, waiting for me to discover!

Xiao Ai: (with a book in her arms) Since I stopped playing games and easily passed the CET-4, now I study English hard. My goal is:-first!

(Singing) Hehehe Hey, stop playing games! Hehe, hehe, hey, stop playing games! Rebuild the symbol of the king of heaven, I kicked it away!

Wu: There is Yan Ruyu in the book, but there is one in the book. . . Or Yan Ruyu! Since I was accompanied by books, my empty heart has finally been filled! I waved my sleeve, so I won't take a remake!

(Singing) I want to be the child who studies hard in fairy tales and never study happily again!

Communist Youth League Secretary: Classmates, classmates and comrades, why are they all gone? Why? You have finally become excellent league members! Keep working hard and never give up!

Three people: Thank you! With what?

Role: Ge Hua (boss) A Qiang (computer campus agent) Captain Acheng (computer buyer) (captain of anti-piracy police force)

Stage background: "XX Computer Company"

Props: color display, game machine, hand-made table for two (made of paper), three stools, several small cartons and pens, a computer, and some papers: "XX Computer Company".

First act

Cheng Heqiang went to the "XX Computer Company Store" in Computer City. They walked and talked, facing their boss, Ge Hua.

Brother Hua: (smiling at him) Hey, A Qiang, bring your classmates to install the machine.

Qiang: Yes, Brother Hua, my hometown A Cheng wants to install a computer. Show him around! (Background music: Beethoven's "Pathetic March" to the end of the first act)

Hua: Oh, ok, ok, you sit down first. (Sit down) How do you want to pretend? What configuration do you want?

Cheng: Oh, whatever. I'm studying for office use. A Qiang, please help me.

Jon: OK, no problem. I told you brother Qiang wouldn't bother me. Leave it to me!

Hua: Oh, right, right, right, right, it's easy to have it! (Yeah, winking) (Giggling) By the way, what CPU do you want?

Qiang: I heard that cooking five is good, so I will cook five. I'm just nodding. )

W: OK, what about the motherboard?

Qiang: support his motherboard, (sincerely: "OK, support his motherboard"), ah, memory 256BBR, hard disk 80G, monitor 17 inch! DVDROM (cheng: (yes, I want 17 inch) and ~ ~ ~

Hua: What about the sound card and the video card? Use a discrete graphics card.

Qiang: Ah, by the way, it is best to bring a graphics card and integrate a sound card. Ordinary chassis is almost the same. We should give some discounts. Cheng, we are fellow villagers!

W: Sure, I'll give you a 20% discount. I'll give you headphones and a keyboard! ! ! Add up and then discount ~~3500, one-year warranty and replacement in March. No, I'll help you install it right away! !

Cheng: 333~3500? So expensive? Can you make it cheaper?

Hua: Let me help you figure out how cheap it is! As you know, our XX international brand specializes in A goods, and our price is the most honest! Ensure the cheapest price in the city, which is 3500, and the second one is definitely 4000.

Qiang: Yes, Cheng, the price of this kind of thing is excellent!

Cheng: Well, I can't help it, so I have to save some money in the next few months.

W: OK, I'll help you install it now. A Qiang, come and help. (Xiangcheng) Just sit and wait for us!

Cheng: OK, then you should go!

Huaqiang: OK, no problem! ! (Laughing together)

Act ii

W: Well done. More clients are introduced, more companies are sold, and you and I both earn more. (background music: theme song of matelgear)

Jon: OK, OK, OK. Cheng doesn't understand computers. He won't know if you just install parallel imports. You made a fortune this time.

Hua: OK, good, it will be ready in a minute! ! ! (China touches a machine part! ! Get an electric shock, howl for a while, corona to electricity) (background music: theme song of 2046)

Qiang: Wow, Brother Hua, Brother Hua, what's wrong with you? (Hua is shaking all over) (I really came)

Cheng: What's the matter? What is Brother Hua doing here?

Jon: I don't even know. I seem to have been electrocuted.

Cheng: Afraid? Don't be afraid! I have studied first aid, let me do it! ! (Put a piece of paper on your chest)

After China woke up with a sigh of relief (lying cow?

Cheng: Brother Hua, Brother Hua, have a glass of water first. Are you feeling better? (Holding Hua in both hands)

Hua: Wow, I almost went to hell to meet him! ! These parallel imports almost killed me! ! Alas! , process.

Luckily, you two helped me convince Yan Luowang to give me a chance!

Cheng: Hey, Qiang, I'm relieved that you're all right. Help Brother Hua first (strong: close call) (background music: always accompanied by loneliness)

Hua: Well, I wanted to cheat Cheng into giving you all the parallel imports, but I didn't expect you to come forward to save me. I'm so stupid. I thought I cheated myself with parallel imports, and I almost lost my life this time. Parallel importers are more dishonest than me. It seems that this society is inseparable from honesty! Alas, through this lesson, I, Ge Hua, changed the previous charging method, paid attention to integrity, and started from me! !

Cheng: Yes, the so-called people can't stand without faith! ! ! It's up to me to tell the truth! ! Honesty is more important than life! ! So I called Cheng.

Jon: Oh, I really took it. How to do business without life? It seems that we had a very important lesson today! Ok, brother Hua said nothing, alas! Cheng, I don't want to tell you. Actually, I'm not good either. I introduced you to buy a computer on purpose. I get a lot of commission here, but the goods here are average. Hey, I actually lied to you for this little money. I am really not a thing. Cheng, I'm sorry (kneeling down and crying).

Cheng: Oh, it's just a piece of cake, but in the future, you can't do something without conscience for money, which may be illegal. I won't blame you for helping me collect a little commission. The most important thing is that you help me install a computer with good quality!

Hua: I'll do it, Cheng. I promise you, I'll go back to the company and help you install a good one. I will do it for real in the future! I'll never do anything with my conscience again. To be honest, I gave you a commission before, and the business you gave me was too dirty, like bribery. Don't lie to your classmates in the future. To be honest, I'll give you a commission.

Qiang: (crying bitterly) Well, both of them are good, so I'll listen carefully!

Cheng: Well, it's getting late. A Qiang, we're going back to school. Brother Hua, we went back to school early. Can you help me install the computer tomorrow?

W: OK, absolutely no problem. Cheng, let me help you install the computer to ensure the practical quality. Can I just charge 3 thousand?

Cheng: OK, let's come back tomorrow. Goodbye.

Jon: That's good. Ok, let's go first. Goodbye, Brother Hua.

W: OK, you two take your time. Goodbye (both of them wave goodbye).

Act iii

The next morning, the anti-piracy police came to the computer city to check the goods and came to the "XX computer company franchise store". Brother Hua met the captain of the anti-piracy team (background music: shellwetalk Talk).

W: Captain, please sit down. I'll open the locker for you to check the goods.

C: (Sit down) Yes, please.

Hua opened the cupboard and took out the goods. The captain got up and looked at it. Hua then poured tea for the captain.

The captain looked at the goods carefully and nodded: I looked around and found that you are the most honest. Well, yes, it's a product.

Hua: Yes, it is very important to be honest in business. Captain, you have worked hard. Please have a glass of water first.

Captain: OK, thanks (drinking water). Do you know that?/You know what? There are parallel imports in the shops around you, and my buddy has found them. Some shops are unwilling to pay parallel imports and dare to bribe our players in broad daylight! Some use money, others use gifts to do this and that. I really don't know what they are doing. (lighting a cigarette)

Hua: Does it mean that someone wants to take bribes, so I don't want them?

C: What's that?

W: That's what it means. What does this mean? (doing the action of giving money)

Captain: Hey! ! Where are you going? Of course not. Do we prison guards steal from ourselves? Moreover, we are educated by the absolute rule of law and never take bribes. I just think you businessmen should be honest. You should be honest, and we can be more honest in law enforcement! ! If you bury parallel imports without conscience and we accept bribes without conscience, how can this society continue to develop? By the way, why do you know people who do business honestly, and you really don't sell parallel imports?

Hua: How dare you? Sellers of parallel imports will have to close their stores and be fined. To tell the truth, I did sell parallel imports before, but I almost lost my life because I was tired of selling parallel imports! ! Honesty is the foundation of life!

C: Oh, what do you mean?

Hua told the captain everything ~ ~ ~

Captain: Oh, yes, parallel imports are very harmful. Our law enforcement is to prohibit parallel imports from harming ordinary people! ! Just wait for you businessmen to understand this truth Ah, your lesson is really worth popularizing. It's not just a question of honesty. If we law enforcers let these harmful parallel imports pass for a little money, the consequences will be unimaginable. Therefore, we have long stressed that it is very important to be honest and upright and to be an official.

They talked, sincerely and firmly, and took to the stage.

Hua pointed to them and said, Captain, these are the two young people I just told you about. Let me introduce you. This is Cheng and this is. Cheng, this is the captain of the anti-piracy team.

Cheng Qiang: Hello, Captain.

Captain: I also know what happened to you yesterday. You two are really promising. Your lessons really taught us the integrity of law enforcement and the integrity of business. It is really not easy!

Cheng: Captain, you flatter me. We just learned this at school. (blushes)

Qiang: Oh, look, Cheng blushes (everyone laughs) (laughs for a while). Oh, by the way, Brother Hua, have you installed Cheng's phone?

Hua: It's already installed. I'll open it for you when you come. Hey?

Play computer hard: Great.

Captain: That's it. I have work to do. My friends are waiting for me. Goodbye. (He walks off the stage)

Three others: OK, goodbye, Captain. Take care.

Cheng: This computer is really nice. Brother Hua, thank you very much. Please count this 3000 yuan.

Hua: Ha, I knew you were honest enough, but you have to be accurate (laughs). Ok, just 3000 yuan, thank you! By the way, A Qiang, how much commission do you want?

Qiang: I paid the tuition this time. Forget it.

Cheng: How do you calculate it? You promised to invite me to dinner.

Hua: Ha, well, I'm so happy today. I should close the door. Ok, let's go to dinner tonight. Let's go, it's my treat! ! !

W: Great! ! Let's go (three people also step down)

Narrator: (Background Music: Accompanying My Way) Later, my brother came to China to run the computer business with integrity, won the trust of all walks of life and became rich. The captain has always been honest and loving the people, and won the praise of the leaders and the people. A year later, he was promoted to minister, and from time to time he taught his subordinates to advocate honesty and became a model of honesty for the people of the whole country! Acheng and Qiang always study hard and are honest and trustworthy in school, which has become a good example for the school. A year after graduation, several units rushed to hire them! ! They finally found a good job and moved towards their respective ideals! ! (background music: aslongasyouloveme) Well, ladies and gentlemen, the sketch is over. Now the conference will hold a prize-winning SMS quiz. Please send it to 520 13 14 for mobile users and 240 13 14 for Unicom users. The telecom company will charge a service fee of one yuan each time, and will give an answer after drawing it. ! Thanks for watching! ! Goodbye! ! !