1-

I was discharged from the hospital yesterday, and it was already past 9: 30 in the evening when I got home. After nine days in the hospital, my room was covered with dust and everything was dirty. Although I was well, I still felt very weak, so I simply made my bed and went to bed.

I feel much better when I get up in the morning. I slept soundly at home, and the long rest life is about to begin again.

I threw the dirty clothes into the washing machine, and the washing machine began to work. Outside the balcony, the willow trees in the campus turned dark green. In fact, it is already summer, but I always feel that spring has just begun. Maybe the winter in my heart is too long!

When I left, the color on the willow branches was yellow, only light green. It takes only a few days for light green to turn into dark green.

The temperature in the room has also increased by several degrees, which makes me feel very comfortable. The weather is getting warmer and warmer, and my husband says my good day is coming.

Yes! I have been very sensitive to temperature since I was ill. If I feel a little fluctuation, my body will feel it. If I am not careful, I will get sick. If I lie in bed, I will go to the hospital.

I was hospitalized four times for throat infection in less than two years. I don't want to think about it, but I cry when I think about it. That kind of pain, ordinary people can't imagine-can't drink water, can't eat, can't talk, can't go out ... even during the Chinese New Year, my parents came to see me.

Even if I don't call my parents for a few days, they will think that I am ill again. So I will endure the pain and call them to report that they are safe, pretending as if nothing has happened and downplaying everything.

A 70-year-old man is still worried about me every day, and his heart is very uncomfortable. On Mother's Day, my circle of friends was flooded with blessings, and I only made a phone call to my mother, which was full of deep apologies. Because at that time, I was lying in a hospital bed, with an injection in one hand and a mobile phone in the other, and I had to say every word clearly. Tears swirled in my eyes, trying to control my emotions, not letting my voice tremble and hoarse, and not letting tears flow out.

I said I was fine, and I apologized that I couldn't go back to see my mother. Mom said that as long as I am well, it is the best gift for her. Then I thought of my distant son, who said the same thing to me. Put the phone down, tears can no longer control. ...

I feel sorry for my mother. As my mother, she is very tired. My every bit of pain and suffering affects her, but what about me!

Yes, "the more I want it, the more I want to get rid of it, but what about me?" Who can give it? " Later, I will listen to Li Jian's Everything Flows, which deeply touched me. I sent a circle of friends casually, and Sister Frog saw it. Being understood by others is also a great happiness, as if the pain was shared by others.

Who can give it? In fact, all the sufferings can only depend on ourselves, and there has never been a savior. The pain that can be endured is not pain. Just like when I was young, "Dry your tears, don't ask, why?"

Therefore, I won't tell my parents when I am hospitalized again, for fear that they will be sad and miserable because I am often ill. Sadness and pain are also trivial matters, and I am more worried about their health because there is nothing I can do. That kind of feeling is like the Japanese devils killing creatures at will, but I am helpless as a bystander. The greatest pain in life is nothing more than this.

2-

The washing machine was still rumbling when my phone rang. When I saw the caller ID, it was my dad.

"Where are you now?" Dad asked.

"Shangzhi!"

"Don't lie to me, are you in hospital in Harbin again?"

"No, it's really Shangzhi, don't believe our video!"

"Don't lie to me, Yang Yang (my niece) told me that your mother is going to see you!"

As soon as I heard that Dad really knew, there was no point in lying. But I only described the illness lightly. I was too fragile to guess my father's mood.

This oral infection is developing too fast. In three days, the entire maxilla was covered with white spots and it was difficult to swallow.

We went to the hospital in the county, but the doctor came to the provincial capital again.

To tell the truth, I was scared to be hospitalized, and the whole process was like a nightmare. I think the pain is coming, and I want to bear it alone! One person's pain can be exchanged for the well-being of the whole family, which is also worthwhile. It's just that my husband has been with me.

My husband said that everything I experienced in my life was a debt I owed in my previous life. Sometimes I am idealistic, otherwise how can I let go of my guilt for my husband?

3-

Yang Yang is very wise. She only told her father, not her mother. I wonder, why does mother have to come to see me at this time? Is there really telepathy between mother and daughter? She already feels that I am struggling in pain?

People often say: "You will know who you love most when you are drunk, and you will know who you love most when you are sick." This sentence is absolute truth.

This hospitalization is only one month.

I didn't intend to tell my family last time, but I ignored the details of calling to report peace in a day or two. My mother didn't answer my phone for several days, so she went straight to my house and knocked for a long time. Without responding, she realized that I might be ill.

My mother rushed to Harbin overnight, and the ward was like a maze. It's hard to find an unfamiliar one, but my mother found it.

I had my back to the door, and then my mother called. When I turned around, I found my mother standing at the door with a mobile phone in her hand. At that moment, I was in tears.

The mood at that moment is really indescribable, both happy and sad. I'm glad to see my mother in pain. The pain seems to have eased. Sadly, my mother is old and still worried about me.

I don't want her to accompany me. Her figure always stings me. But she just accompanied me to the hospital. She said she didn't want to do anything when she went home, and it would be even worse if she didn't see me.

In fact, I hope my mother will stay in my heart. No mother has the heart to put down her sick child, and no child is attached to her mother's arms. With my mother around, I can eat well, sleep well and feel more at ease.

My mother buys me delicious food every day, washes my face and combs my hair, and also buys me two sets of pajamas, all of which are my favorite colors. I seem to be a little girl again. If only I could freeze my happiness and never grow up!

Back home, accompanied me for several days to "kick" her home, where there was an old father!

In those days, I was really like a child, as if I had returned to my childhood, being spoiled and loved by my mother, but my mother's childhood was so young. After so many years, I seem to have neglected the collagen that my mother used to have all over her face. Now, inadvertently found that my mother is old, and I still need my mother to take care of, but also my mother to worry about.

I want to use my mother's love bit by bit, use it carefully and don't waste it. I'm afraid, really afraid, and I'll never catch it again if I'm not careful.

I don't want my mother to know everything, I just want to cherish my blessing. Although the happiness in your hand is very thin, it is better to have it after all than nothing. Anything is possible as long as you are alive.

4-

I also summed up why I got sick so quickly this time. I want to take good care of myself since I left the hospital last time. I said to my husband, let's go back to the countryside!

Living in a bungalow in the countryside is convenient to come out and go in, and you can often bask in the sun; There are all kinds of vegetables in the garden, wild vegetables in the mountains, and some green fruits such as cherries and strawberries. You can also go for a walk by the river to see fish, and reading and writing are very pleasant. ...

More importantly, the air is fresh and the environment is quiet. These are all very helpful for rest.

However, imagination is always beautiful and reality is unpredictable. We also went back to our hometown in the evening. My mother ventilated the room in advance, dried the quilt, burned the kang, and brought rice noodles, eggs, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and other necessities. Because I told my mother that I would spend the whole summer here. I want to get close to nature, let nature nourish me, and let me get better faster. So my mother was busy for several days and was very excited to see me every day.

But when I woke up the next day, I felt sick all over, with a headache, nausea and sore throat. More importantly, my stomach seems to be blocked and I can't eat anything. I'm as light as stepping on a cloud.

The doctor who came to see the doctor hanged an intravenous drip, and the effect was not good. I've been thinking, I've had an intravenous drip, and I can't get any worse. I'll be fine soon, and I'll be fine tomorrow ... but for five days in a row, the injection has no effect, and the rhythm is getting worse and worse.

On the fifth morning, I found blood in my stool. I don't want to talk about it. I just want to take some medicine myself, but I'm afraid it will be delayed and the consequences will be more serious. I told my husband, and he immediately made a decision that he couldn't live any longer. But I am still hesitating. I'm thinking, how should I tell my parents? Just say I'm sick No, absolutely not. I'm afraid to see their sad and worried eyes, and I can't say it.

But I also know that I can't live without it. After I got on the bus, I called my mother and said that I had to be monitored because of blood coagulation, and the hospital in town could not do thrombin test.

My mother will believe this reason, don't worry too much. Because she began to take anticoagulants after heart surgery, abnormal coagulation is common, and she is used to it.

Back in Shangzhi, I went directly to the hospital, took blood, prescribed medicine ... and didn't get an injection. After a few days, my symptoms eased and I could eat some food. I am very happy, thinking that I will get better gradually.

I forgot the day when the upper jaw began to fester. It didn't delay swallowing at first, but it developed rapidly. For three days, the whole palate and throat were covered with white spots, and eating was like being tortured, and the pain was unbearable. I dare not even look at it. I feel sick all over and my legs are weak.

At noon on the third day, I got up the courage to look at my mouth. The entire maxilla is covered with white spots, which are horribly dense. I think I should be terminally ill, my husband said, go and be hospitalized in Harbin!

I refused from the bottom of my heart, because I just left the hospital for more than a month, and I didn't want to believe that I had another attack in such a short time. But the fact is so cruel that I even doubt that the doctor can cure my disease at all.

When I came to Harbin Hospital, the doctor looked at the medical records of my last hospitalization and my oral cavity, and diagnosed it as recurrent severe oral ulcer.

They were discussing my symptoms, and I heard a word-all over the sky. They described my ulcer as all over the sky. The stars in the night sky have always been beautiful in my heart, but at this moment they have changed their taste. I will never like them again. The stars all over the sky left a shadow on me.

5-

I did a good job of keeping secrets, but my niece knew that I was ill and flew from Shandong to see me. After reading it, I went back to my hometown to visit her grandparents. I repeatedly told her not to tell her about her grandmother, but she still became a "spy". Luckily, she only told my dad. I think maybe my mother insisted on coming to my house, but she couldn't stop it, so she had to tell her father.

So there was the conversation between my father and me in the above article. Father wants to make sure whether I'm really out of the hospital and whether I'm really at home. This time, if my mother finds out that I am not at home, she will be frightened again. I really can't imagine what will happen.

In the years after heart surgery, I recovered well. Who wants to be hospitalized four times just because of my throat? The first time was before New Year's Day, 20 17, and the second time was a month later. Both were in the infectious diseases department. After the second discharge, he did not recover. It lingered until June, when the weather warmed up and gradually improved.

It was not bad until the Spring Festival. After the new year, an ulcer grew on my tongue in the first few days, and it recovered in a week. After a few days, I grew a few more, so I started taking medicine and basically controlled it. The guests at home went out to eat a hot pot, which broke out in an all-round way. It's terrible and the pain is unbearable.

When I went to the hospital, the ward was very nervous. Later, the ulcer developed to the whole digestive tract, and I was admitted to the hospital after hanging up the emergency department. Four days without water or rice is unforgettable.

Always dreaming, running, falling, getting lost, damn it, dense forest, sea, black hole, unable to find the exit. Endless fear in every day and night ...

I stayed in stomatology this time, but I was afraid I couldn't go to the hospital and took a detour. I found a friend to help me, and it went well.

My mouth hurts so much that I can't eat anything after taking painkillers twice a day. I have no confidence. The doctor used anesthetic to get me something to eat, because the more I don't eat, the less nutrition I lack, and the slower I get better. This truth is very simple, but it is more difficult than going to heaven at this time.

Usually vitamins, protein, amino acids, electrolytes, etc. Just a symbol. When you are healthy, you don't feel their importance to your body, but when the passage is blocked, you can only take them from drugs.

The magical nature has given us many things and taken away many things. How can we balance them? The older you get, the more you respect nature!

The human body is a dynamic balance, and mastering it is really a technical job.

6-

Mom will come tomorrow. I'm fine. I'm not afraid to face her anymore. She doesn't know anyway. Don't tell me!

This is also a white lie. Although I live a hard and tired life, I still feel very meaningful. I am her child, her world, her whole world, that's enough.

I like to see my mother happy. Mom said, don't ask me what I can do to her, as long as I can live and be her companion! So I used up all my strength-to live.