When the donkey left, his mother asked him why he didn't make it to the last day. The donkey's answer is very touching. I proved my sincerity in 99 days, but I defended my dignity in the last day. I don't care about you, no matter how good I am to you, if you don't cherish me, I will let go, whether it's business, friends, love or family. Only by knowing how to cherish is it worth having!
However, in real life, can we really do it? Subordinates make mistakes, and as leaders, we sulk in the office; The superior doesn't listen to his advice and sulks at home after work; My colleague made a mistake at work and was speechless with anger. I hate that I can't slap each other on the spot to get revenge. ...
I believe many people have had this experience. If the mood is too excited, even for a few days, the elderly should take some quick-acting drugs and antihypertensive drugs. That their mood is very chaotic. As a result, when I calmed down, I found it ridiculous to worry about the mistakes made by others and even take advantage of myself! Because the last one who got hurt was himself!
Punishing yourself for others' mistakes is actually the most important form of expression, but this kind of anger is invisible and does not directly contradict each other, but in our hearts, we still have not got rid of the dispute with others. On the surface, we seem to be in a calm mood, but only we know: in fact, our hearts are already anxious. As a result, over time, the other party did not feel pain at all, but was emotionally confused and had various physiological problems.
"When we are angry with others, we point a finger at others and look domineering; But we didn't see it. Three fingers curled up and pointed at themselves. "
This is the literary description of the essayist, which vividly shows the state of anxiety. Always staring at other people's mistakes is actually locking yourself in a cage and constantly punishing yourself. Master Yan Zheng, a famous monk in Taiwan Province, once said: "Being angry is to punish yourself with other people's mistakes!"
In fact, many diseases are caused by this situation. If you learn to let go, the disease will be cured. In 20 14, 47-year-old Xue Jie came to Hejia Health Center. Before that, there was something wrong with her lung, and the treatment for half a year had no effect. Xue Jie told me that at first she just coughed, and then she began to feel dizzy and anorexia. Finally, I went to the hospital for examination, and I suspected that there were chronic diseases in my lungs, but I changed to many hospitals and never got better.
Because there are too many patients, but many patients' diseases are caused by psychology, it is inevitable to communicate with each patient first to see if there are any psychological problems and then prescribe the right medicine. When communicating with Xue Jie, I felt that she was preoccupied, so I asked her if she had anything else to do. This just told me that she worked in an agency finance company, and a little girl came as an assistant at the beginning of the year. Although he is an assistant, he actually manages the financial declaration and other businesses of some companies independently. The little girl knows almost nothing and has no sense of responsibility. As a result, several companies represented by Xue Jie made mistakes at the end of the month, and the boss deducted her money as punishment. As a result, she was so angry, not because of money. She thinks it's the little girl's fault. Why did she punish herself? But dare not argue with the leader. Because this girl entered the company through contacts, how can I put it?
In this way, within a few months, Xue Jie felt that there was something wrong with his body.
After listening to Xue Jie's story, I immediately understood why there was something wrong with her body. I gave her a prescription: ask for leave for three months, and then go to the small mountain village to have a good rest. Don't do any work, let alone think about your own work, eat more fresh vegetables and fruits.
Senior sister got permission to ask for leave for three months on the grounds of illness.
Three months later, Xue Jie, who appeared in front of me again, had fully recovered and brought me a "recovery" certificate from the hospital. Sister Xue was very happy and asked me, "He Laoshi, why don't you let me take medicine and my illness will be cured?"
I smiled and said, "It's very simple. Your illness is not in your body, but in your heart. In the past, you were obsessed with that little girl, punishing yourself with other people's mistakes every day, and letting yourself fall into pain. Of course, there is no her in your life now! "
After conditioning, Xue Jie didn't sulk again after returning to the unit, but explained the related problems to the leaders and suggested that the little girl face up to the work methods. The leader naturally understood that the little girl began to become mature and steady. Now, the little girl has become Xue Jie's right-hand man. They have a harmonious relationship, and Xue Jie never feels uncomfortable and painful because of her physical problems.
Staring at other people's mistakes is a sign of anger, so Xue Jie in the past was inevitably a little haggle over every ounce and narrow-minded. In fact, if you really explain the problem to the leader, the leader will coordinate. Even if the little girl has a hard background, let her study, exercise and master skills in the company instead of simply "making a living". So, why can't we relax?
Change your haggle over every ounce mentality, don't punish yourself for other people's mistakes, just to adjust your mood, and don't get caught up in tangled emotions all day. People's health is closely related to emotions. A happy mood will make people's body enter a normal state, so that the attacks of immune and disease-resistant systems can be controlled by themselves; And distress and boredom can induce various psychological and physical diseases and aggravate the original condition. If you are in a state of depression and tension for a long time, it will reduce your resistance and accelerate aging. Once this happens, the tree of life will inevitably turn from prosperity to decline and enter the withering period.
Therefore, no matter what happens, we must learn to relax, especially when other people's problems affect us. If we stick to them at this time, we will feel even more depressed. For example, if you meet someone you don't like at work, but do we have a reasonable solution? At this time, the best way is to stay away, instead of sitting in the position and sulking; Similarly, if you accidentally buy fake and shoddy products, or are cheated by swindlers, you should change your mood in time after seeking the help of industry and commerce and the police. Because, even if we are angry with each other again, things will not change because of anger, resentment and irritability, but will greatly reduce our health.
Simple psychological adjustment may make it difficult for us to get rid of our aversion to other people's mistakes. At this time, we might as well adjust our mood in a different environment, such as taking advantage of holidays to travel and get close to nature. Stay away from the hustle and bustle of the city, enjoy the green mountains and green waters, face the beautiful scenery and forget the honor and disgrace, and the depression in your heart will soon be swept away. Just like I will encounter some problems, at this time, instead of being angry with others in the office, it is better to go out and chat with our host, or look at the natural scenery to relieve my inner depression. In short, no matter what method you use, don't punish yourself for other people's mistakes, otherwise you will not let go and all diseases will naturally haunt you.