The first psychological nutrition: unconditional acceptance.
The baby started her life journey from a fertilized egg. What children need most is unconditional acceptance from 10 month to 100 day of birth. No matter whether I am healthy or not, whether I grow tall or thin in the future, whether I can become a person with good moral character in the future, and whether my academic performance is good or bad, mom, you must love me unconditionally and accept me, instead of blaming me for getting fat or making you so hard because of my illness. Because at this stage, in addition to breast milk, this unconditional acceptance of psychological nutrition also determines whether I can survive.
? We still need this kind of psychological nutrition when we grow up. Men in marriage need unconditional acceptance more than women. Accept a man coming home from work to relax. Accepting a man is different from the husband we want in our hearts. Accept that our current state of life is like this. Accepting a man can be a little emotional occasionally. We accepted him, his psychological nutrition was satisfied, and he felt loved because he was accepted. A person must be loved, rich in heart and full of love in order to love others and learn to be kind. Children and adults can do it. ?
The second psychological nutrition: the most important thing in life.
Children have an important psychological nutrition from birth to 100 day, which is the most important thing in life. The child wants to be the NO 1 in the mother's mind. As long as I need it, my mother will be in place immediately. I'm hungry, you should feed me at once, I'm crying, you should appear immediately to coax me. I need to be the most important person in your life. If this psychological nutrition is not satisfied, then he will be looking for that "important person" all his life and then become the most important thing in his life. In primary school, he might go to the primary school teacher. In middle school, as long as a heterosexual can regard her as the most important thing in life, she will fall in love early. In order to meet the lack of psychological nutrition in childhood, she will not hesitate to give up her studies, or even run away from home and elope. ? After entering intimate relationships, women need life more than men. Women should be NO 1 in men's minds. Feel a man's love. Therefore, men should always tell women that you are the most important thing in my life, and you will always rank first in my heart. Women will be nourished and give you a peaceful and loving home. ?
The third psychological nutrition: sense of security.
From 100 day to 3 years old, it is a process for children to cut off the psychological umbilical cord from their mothers. If this process is not done well, children will never know how to be independent. When the child is in the mother's womb, it is one with the mother. The doctor cut the umbilical cord when he was born in the hospital. At this time, the body of the child and the mother are separated, but the psychological umbilical cord has not been cut. The child thinks that he is still one with his mother. At the stage of 4 months to 3 years old, we have made full preparations for separation, and the best time to cut the psychological umbilical cord is when we are 3 years old. This is also an important reason why many children's education experts call on children to go to kindergarten after they are 3 years old. ?
From 4 months to 3 years old, children are eager to do something independently, but lack experience and are afraid to leave their mothers. The child wants to climb the sofa in the living room, climb for a while, and go back to the room where his mother is still. Children go out to explore the world again and again, and when they come back, their mother is still there, so they feel safe, because at this stage, their mother is the most important person in their lives, and children should hold her tightly. Children don't know how to live without their mothers. What a mother needs to do at this stage is to maintain emotional stability and harmony between husband and wife, which can provide the best sense of security for her children. ?
Some children are four or five years old, even in their teens, and are unwilling to take the initiative to separate from their parents, go out to play, and go out to socialize, all because she did not feel safe enough when she was a child, so she could not be independent and separated. When children are 4 months to 3 years old, they try their best to absorb a sense of security. If they are not satisfied, the whole person will be full of anxiety and fear. This sense of security, the mother's important position is irreplaceable. Therefore, mothers must be the best primary caregivers for children aged 0 to 3. Adults with insufficient sense of security are also prone to show various worries and even inexplicable insecurity after entering marriage. ?
The fourth psychological nutrition: affirmation, praise and recognition.
Children have formed themselves when they are 4-5 years old, and the psychological nutrition they need very much is: affirmation, praise and recognition. At this stage, dad should make a more grand appearance than mom and participate in the growth of children, because dad can give children a sense of strength, and one praise from dad is better than 50 praises from mom. At this stage, parents should look for more bright spots and praise their children with words and body movements. When children play with toys, they only remember to go back once every ten times. Parents should seize that time and say that the baby is great. Playing with toys is really neat, great progress and top-notch. At this stage, children will become confident, establish a positive sense of value for themselves and better appreciate the advantages of others. Children will work hard in the direction of praise from their parents. Parents praise their children for doing it once, and the children will try to do it every time. ?
In fact, everyone is eager for affirmation and praise all his life, because it is a kind of psychological nutrition that can make people happy. Many people know that they need positive praise, but they don't know that others also need positive praise. Therefore, starting from yourself and being a person who learns to appreciate others can nourish others' lives. ?
The fifth psychological nutrition: learning, cognition and model.
When children enter the age of 6-7, they are eager to learn a lot of unknown knowledge and enjoy their own growth and progress. Children need a role model at this stage. Most of them will look to their mothers or fathers as role models. When she encounters difficulties that can't be solved, she will come back to talk to her parents, who will help her solve them. I will also find a child older than myself. When I see that my sister paints well, but I can't, I will study painting hard with my sister and want to reach her level. Seeing that my sister can dance so beautifully when she learns to dance, she also said that she wants to learn to dance. You can also find a child of the same age who is better than yourself as an example, and then follow suit, and get a lot of happiness in the process of following suit. This is called active learning. Active learning is happy and unstoppable. At this stage, children can easily enter the track of active learning by giving them enough psychological nutrition to learn cognitive patterns. ?
Sixth psychological nutrition: freedom of choice.
Adolescent children need freedom of choice very much. From 1 1 years old to 12 years old, children are eager to control everything by themselves and hope to get the support of their parents. At this stage, parents can't force their children to obey as before. If you give advice, you may not listen. Because at this stage, children begin to fight for sovereignty and freedom of choice. Parents can give their children a range of choices. This does not deviate from what parents want, but also gives children the freedom to choose. Don't be too picky, but also be big, so that children can choose for themselves. At this stage, if the psychological nutrition of freedom of choice is not satisfied, children will have rebellious psychology and even fight with their lives, with disastrous consequences. Parents don't give their children the freedom to choose, children will reject their parents from their hearts, and the bridge of communication will be broken. This is very serious.
Conclusion: Six kinds of psychological nutrition are very important for children's growth. Of course, it's not just childhood that needs these psychological nutrition. In fact, people need these psychological nutrition all their lives, and what is more important is to ensure the mental health of children in childhood. I wish every child a healthy and happy growth. Of course, this requires every parent to continue to learn and grow in the position of mom and dad. The best love for children is not what we want to give, but what she needs. For example, the child is hungry, but we give her a glass of water. This is not what she needs most at the moment, nor can it solve the child's hunger. To give children the nutrition they need for love correctly, parents must first learn to understand what their children need. Give children enough psychological nutrition and let their lives bloom beautifully. (Excerpted from the author)