Calmness is the basis of maintaining the essence: novices should not "flatter themselves" and learn not to be too impulsive at first, even if the other person is your true love, well, you still have a lifetime.
Second, beauty is the foundation of success: the woman a novice starts looking for, it is best not to be too beautiful or too tight. If a girl is attractive, he will "lose his mind"; If the "Yumenguan" is too tight, men will be unbearable because of excessive contact and exercise.
Three gentleness is the basis of endurance: beginners pause every few minutes when trying to enter the female body, and must earnestly abide by the principle of gentleness and slowness; If you really feel that your heart is overflowing and you can't stop, take it out quickly and leave only one inch in it, and then start again when you calm down.
Four depths are the basis of control: beginners first try to work with the rhythm of "three shallows and one depth", then try "five shallows and one depth" after feeling that they can effectively control their proficiency, and finally reach the realm of "nine shallows and one depth".
Access is the basis of learning: as the saying goes, "easy to understand" should be changed to "easy to understand", that is, gently go in and pull out quickly and resolutely.
Compassion is the basis of pleasure: men must be compassionate and gentle, and don't inadvertently show animality, which is conducive to the orgasm of men and women.
Patience is the foundation of success. Finally, patience is the most important principle. Don't think that "controlling ejaculation" is simple. According to past experience, beginners often need several months to learn how to control breathing and "lock". It may take longer to break the idea that men have to film sex to be complete.
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frequency
On the question of frequency, Alex, the author of "Sexual Happiness"? Dr. Comfort said: "Don't be too obsessed with the frequency problem. Even if some friends say that their frequency is not as good as yours, don't worry. You can't go wrong, because the correct frequency of sexual intercourse depends on your preference. " But no matter how reasonable the advice people give you sounds, it is only the product of hierarchical culture. In such a society, everything from the bowling competition to the weekly climax has its own set of scoring standards.
But after all, this problem can't be avoided, because everyone wants to know whether they are normal or not.
In the study of 199 1, the National Opinion Research Center of the University of Chicago found that American adults had sex 57 times on average in the past year, about once a week 1. Among them, married people have more times than single people, and the number of sexual intercourse in the previous year can reach 67 times. In other studies, it is found that the number of sexual intercourse decreases with age: people under 40 can reach 78 times a year, about 3 times every two weeks; However, people over 70 years old only have 8 times a year, about 6 weeks 1 time.
It should be added that these frequencies only include sexual intercourse between men and women. If you include various types and varieties of human sexual behaviors, such as masturbation, erotic dreams, orgasmic frolicking without sexual intercourse, etc. The number will definitely be higher. Dr Kinsey found that white American men under the age of 30 have orgasms more than three times a week on average, but if men of all ages are included, the frequency will drop to about twice a week.
Surprisingly, the frequency of married women's sexual life is lower than that of married men. What happened? It doesn't make sense in theory! Researchers at the University of Chicago believe that it may be that both men and women are not telling the truth: men may exaggerate a little, while women shrink a little. Another possibility is that some married men and unmarried women have extramarital sex.
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Any number is normal.
These figures are only averages, which are the results of statistics on a group of people with very different appetite. But in any case, there is an intriguing fact behind these figures, that is, there is a disparity between the "normal" sexual intercourse frequencies of human beings.
The late Dr. Kinsey and his colleagues interviewed 100 men, and one of them was healthy and normal, who had only shot sperm once in the past 30 years. In contrast to him, 12 people ejaculate more than 29 times a week on average, that is, more than 4 times a day; And a famous lawyer, in the past 30 years, actually ejaculated more than 30 times a week on average-of course, this is what he said, and we have no way to verify it. According to Dr. Kinsey's statistics, among the men he studied, 3/4 ejaculated between 1 and 6.5 times a week, and the rest 1/4 distributed below 1 time or above 6.5 times on average. And the gap between the two extreme types is times! For a biologist, this difference in sexual behavior can be said to be unheard of in the operational world. Dr. Kinsey said: "I didn't expect this gap to be so big that people can't help wondering if there are still two words' normal' and' abnormal' in scientific rhetoric."
But don't be afraid. Although these people have different frequencies, they are not monsters. As far as Dr. Kinsey's research is concerned, even in a small group of people, people who have only one or two orgasms every year and 10 ~ 20 orgasms every week can be found. In fact, in a person's circle of friends, it is very likely that a person can reach orgasm every day, or even more frequently.
Dr Kinsey also found that the gap between women is much larger than that between men. How do you feel after reading the above words? Let us at least feel a little comfort. Because in the frequency of sexual intercourse, the words "normal" and "abnormal" really no longer exist in scientific rhetoric, and any number should be "normal".
Sometimes it's misplaced
The average also masks another important fact, that is, sometimes men and women simply can't cooperate.
If you carefully observe the sexual history of single women, you will find that there is no peak in the early life of women, and there is no steady decline after the peak. The frequency of female sexual activity has been stable from adolescence to old age. Dr. Kinsey found that unmarried women have an average of 0.3 ~ 0.5 orgasms every week from puberty to 60 years old, less than once every two weeks.
Men are different. Looking at the history of male sexual development, it is quite different from the natural pattern of female sexual life. If the frequency of sexual intercourse in your life is consistent with that of the average male described by Dr. Kinsey, then it starts to climb from the early adolescence and reaches its peak at 16 ~ 17 years old. For most men, 16 ~ 17 years old is the most frequent period of sexual activity, with an average of more than 3 orgasms per week; But by the age of 20, the frequency of sexual intercourse will gradually decrease, and then it will decrease continuously, slowly and steadily with the increase of age. In fact, the decrease of sexual intercourse frequency can be seen in both men and women, but the change of women is not as obvious and great as that of men. As Dr. Kinsey said: "All statistics about human sexual behavior show that the frequency of sexual intercourse will gradually decrease with age."
But then again, not everyone's frequency of sexual intercourse will decrease with age. In recent years, a study found that 15% of the elderly over 65 said that their sexual activities were more frequent than before. If you are so, why do you have sex with others several times a week?