A member of AA recalled that when alcoholism hit the bottom, there was always an idea: "I firmly believe that disaster is coming to me," she explained. "Almost every morning, my first thought is always, Oh, my God! I don't know what kind of blow I will encounter today. " When someone knocked at the door, she was sure that nothing good would happen. She feels that all the letters she sends are bills and bad news, and there is always a feeling of disgust when the phone rings. Many of us are familiar with this situation of spending most of our energy on negative emotions. We all remember that during the period of severe alcoholism, our minds were full of depression and gloom. This situation may be simply depression caused by alcohol. Once the residual alcohol in the body is removed, the problem will be solved naturally. But some of us may continue this sensitive and melancholy thinking mode until we notice it and carefully pull it out. No specific medicine can make us carefree and happy from now on, nor can we assume that all difficult challenges are meaningless, let alone deny that each of us must face a mountain of problems that need to be solved from time to time. But depression, like other pains, has brought us great harm. However, we don't drink now, and we have some control over our own thoughts. Our consciousness is no longer vague, and we have a broader field of thought. The mode of thinking we choose is very important for the emotional ups and downs in the next 24 hours, so we may decide whether today is a sunny day or a gloomy and depressing day. Because our past binge drinking life has such a profound influence on our own thoughts, it is very worthwhile for us to carefully examine and adjust our thinking habits in order to make better use of our thinking ability. The following examples may not be entirely applicable to you, but even if the events are different, you may feel the deja vu that happened to them. Although some parts are deliberately exaggerated in order to clearly emphasize their own views, some parts may be insignificant at first glance, but after repeated verification, we find that even simple and minor changes can give us a good starting point for recovery. When our beloved children fall down and cry when they are toddlers, we will immediately check whether they are injured, serious or frightened. At this time, we are faced with a choice. We can scream hysterically because the child is injured or frightened. Or we can remain calm and rational, and be glad that no more serious harm has been caused. When our 90-year-old grandfather died after a long illness, we faced the same situation. We can choose to persist, and the only thing we can do is to show extreme grief and sadness, and indulge in this emotion and maybe have another drink; In other words, in addition to expressing deep sorrow, we also think that he has lived a long, beautiful and happy life, and we have always cared about and respected him. Now his illness and pain are finally over. If you use this as an excuse to hurt your body, it will be difficult to get his approval. When we finally have a chance to go to a long-awaited place, we can complain about the weather and the inconvenience of accommodation along the way, or we can miss the good times that have passed away. As a matter of fact, we only have a few days or weeks' holiday. Or we can be grateful that we finally have a chance to realize our dreams with a grateful heart, and add a beautiful memory worth cherishing in our hearts. In response to any optimistic, positive and positive remarks, we will notice that we often blurt out "Yes, but ..." A friend is lucky, or he looks quite young, or he has participated in the charity publicity activities of political and business celebrities, which will induce us to respond to him with almost hostility and bitterness: "Yes, but ..." Is our habitual thinking mode good for ourselves or others? Can we simplify the good things? Can we just appreciate and not belittle? Anyone who tries to quit smoking knows that there may be two outcomes: (1) complaining about how difficult it is to quit smoking, "I still can't do it this time" and "Look, it's disgusting, I lit another cigarette". Or (2) when we want to smoke, we should take a deep breath, there is no smell of smoke. I'm glad we haven't smoked for another hour. Even when we started smoking unconsciously, we encouraged ourselves to put out our cigarettes. I'm glad we didn't smoke the whole cigarette until there were only cigarette butts left. If one of us buys a lottery ticket with the first prize of 50,000 yuan, we will win the 500 yuan Prize. Our sensitive mentality is easily provoked, and smart people will easily find a balance point. There is no need to be angry because they didn't win the biggest prize. We can constantly find opportunities to make similar choices. Past experience makes us more convinced that maintaining a grateful attitude is not only beneficial to our physical and mental health, but also helps us to keep a sober life. We will be surprised to see that it is not difficult to cultivate a grateful attitude as long as we make some efforts. Many of us are unwilling to try to change. Although most of us were forced or unwilling at first, the result is really obvious. From the beginning, it is inevitable to restrain the usual sarcastic tone and make people feel uneasy and at a loss. We may have to hold back twice in a row before we can barely squeeze out a gentle and affirmative sentence, which is what we call a pleasant expression. But this will soon become easy to do, and it will become a powerful and pleasant supporting force in our recovery process. We will understand that life is to enjoy ourselves, and we can enjoy life well. Looking back on the history of drinking, we are controlled by a negative emotion, which is also the behavior pattern that we must learn to change. If you can change your words and deeds, you can change your attitude, and then adjust and improve your mood. For some reason, we often spend a lot of time thinking, paying attention and talking about other people's shortcomings and problems (whether the situation of others is true or not has nothing to do with the ideological transformation we are going to do now). For some people, at first, they began to try this change with a dubious and hesitant wait-and-see attitude. We assume that others may be right. Before we make a rash judgment, let's stop arguing for a while, listen carefully and wait for the result. Whether our views are correct or not is not the focus of this chapter. No matter what the conclusion is, at least in this way, we have temporarily got rid of the framework of always being correct and always superior. When we can face our mistakes calmly without being disturbed, we will find that sincerely saying "I don't know" can rejuvenate us, and saying "I was wrong and you were right" can rejuvenate us. We relax ourselves and accept new ideas with an open mind and gratitude. Top scientists always pay special attention to and guard against new evidence that can prove their theoretical mistakes, so they can abandon the wrong concept and get closer to the eternal truth they have long pursued. When we reach a similar degree of openness, we will feel that the negative and negative mentality is beginning to disappear, and we are changing from insisting on our correct mentality (total denial and pointing fingers at others). Perhaps we can clarify this relationship: mastering and applying new ideas, getting help and staying awake are closely related. Many of us have been drinking for many years, and we are always sure that we are innocent and have not caused any harm to others. When we hear a priest, a psychologist or a member of a temperance association talking about drinking, we always immediately argue that our drinking behaviors are different, so there is no need to accept their advice. Or we are smart, pretend to know everything, and only admit that we have a little problem with drinking, but we can handle it easily. So we closed the door and cut off any new information and help. Of course, we continued to drink our wine behind the door. We are willing to open our hearts and accept some light and outside help only when we have suffered extremely serious troubles and started to feel quite desperate and helpless. For thousands of our members, the clear memory that best reflects the wisdom of "gratitude" is our impression and remarks when A.A. first caught our attention: "A.A. is very useful to others, but I am not that serious, so A.A. is not suitable for me." "I met several former A.A. members drinking in a bar, and I can understand from their mouths that A.A. is also invalid for me." "I know a man who has become a rigid, stubborn, extremely boring and completely teetotalless fanatic since he joined the AA." "All the nonsense about God and the way to attend the meeting are disgusting. I am not the kind of person who casually joins any organization. " Now, we have to admit frankly that the reason why we pay most attention to the observation and thinking of negative phenomena is to strengthen our reasons for drinking, so we are unwilling to accept A.A. with an open mind. This so-called observation and understanding that lacks an objective and fair attitude is only a superficial and one-sided understanding, and it is impossible to see the whole picture of things. We haven't communicated with many sober A&A members and haven't read enough books and materials. Once we don't agree with the few people or things we met when we first arrived in A.A., we will resolutely give up. We tried, didn't we? Remember the man who said he didn't like reading? Didn't he finish reading a book he didn't like? Obviously, there are different ways to do this. We can show indifference, or we can spend some time trying to find out what really attracts A.A., the way A.A. can let us follow, and we really agree with A.A.' s views and practices. We can also especially thank A.A. for welcoming temporary visitors and not asking us to invest rashly. We can thank AA for not charging any membership fees or fees, and we don't have to follow any rules. If we don't like what some people in A.A. say, we can be glad to see other members keep silent or others talk about our favorite topics. We can constantly find that many famous experts and scholars have been supporting and recommending A.A. for many years. Undoubtedly, A.A. must have handled it very correctly! We already know that staying awake may depend on whether we choose a positive attitude. We can spend hours imagining why we want, have to or intend to drink. We can also use the same time to list why drinking is harmful to us and why abstinence will make us healthier. At the same time, we can also write down what we can do instead of drinking. Each of us can make choices in our own way of thinking, and we will be happy when others make the same decision as us. But whether you are interested in AA or not, we sincerely hope that everyone will start trying to stay awake in any way. Thank you very much. We can write down the way we adopt here. Of course, anyone has the right to decide whether to accept these suggestions.