Impatient people get angry easily and quarrel with others for a trivial matter. In fact, this is a self-destructive way. Some people quarrel with others every time they go out. The reason is that you are too demanding of others, and you always have to impose your own fixed pattern on others. How do others accept it? Besides, even if you are right, you can't ask others to understand you at the first time. The human brain has a process of reflection. If you express it too fast, it is likely to be misunderstood.
In fact, most quarrels are because you misunderstand others' meaning, because you are in a hurry and you interrupt others before they finish. Can you promise not to misunderstand others?
In modern families, couples often quarrel and even fight. People wonder: why did the original vows of eternal love fail to stand the test? This shows that people are not good at keeping in good health, and it also shows that there is a lack of mutual understanding within the family.
In the past, when looking for a partner, people paid great attention to whether the temperament and personality of both men and women were consistent. Nowadays, people only pay attention to whether feelings or so-called "values" are consistent, and seldom pay attention to whether temperament is consistent. Only after marriage did I find that the two sides were so incompatible.
Generally speaking, two impatient people are definitely not suitable for being husband and wife, or they will quarrel every day. An impatient person can't find a slow-witted person as a partner, otherwise the impatient person will get angry. The best match is that an impatient person should find a reasonable and gentle person who can understand and bear the anger from the other side and find ways to comfort and guide the other side. For those who have a bad temper, don't find a bad-tempered person as a partner. A person with a moderate temper is the best choice. Such people will not only blame people with slow temper, but also guide them to improve their thinking speed effectively.
There is an invisible thinking channel in the brain, which is very narrow and can't hold too many things at a time. Some people are eager for success and like to do things wholeheartedly. Such people are prone to problems.
When you go out to do business, you often encounter traffic jams. If we don't get off and walk, we may have no choice but to wait patiently. But some people are anxious as soon as they encounter this situation, either sighing or swearing. The thinking channel in his brain, like a traffic jam, has lost its normal thinking operation, so he didn't realize that such a hurry was useless.
In fact, traffic jams can be completely ignored. Since we are going out to do business, we should be prepared for traffic jams. In case of traffic jam, it's no use worrying about ourselves. Besides, worry can only make our brains secrete more toxic hormones such as norepinephrine. If we are always in such a hurry, we will get old easily. So we can calm down in the face of traffic jams, but what comes to mind immediately is how to adjust today's work plan.
I often do this when I ride in a car with my friends. They were so anxious there, but when they saw that I seemed to have nothing to do, they didn't understand. They kept asking me, why aren't you in a hurry? I said: my thinking channel is very smooth. If I'm in a hurry, I'm sure I'll be blocked like the road ahead. Once the thinking channel is blocked, qi and blood will definitely be forced to descend, and the brain will not get enough qi and blood supply, so it will definitely be impossible to make a clear judgment. So, it's no use worrying.
In fact, the channel of thinking is really easily influenced by the information received by the eyes. As we said before, if you look up information online, but the page can't be opened for a long time, then your brain's thinking channel is likely to be suppressed and short-circuited, so your blood is blocked, your brain's nutrition supply is insufficient, and your thinking efficiency will immediately decline.
What matters is the mentality. We should keep good control at all times. When we hear disapproval, we don't need to care too much, because others have their own ideas and can't be like us. Because of this, our life is colorful and full of fun. Listen to other people's suggestions and express your own opinions. If you can't do this, then when you hear disapproval, treat it as a joke and laugh it off. There is no need to get angry about it. A calm character is cultivated from the little things in life. Read more useful books on self-cultivation and you will gain a lot.
Impatience is a character problem. It is difficult to completely change a person's personality. Impatience is hard to change, but you can change your way of doing things. Impatient people apply the driver's rule when they are in trouble: they would rather stop for three points than grab the second. Think about everything, don't rush to implement it, it's not particularly urgent, it will take a few days to deal with it. This will generally be handled properly, and the impatience will gradually change over time. Impatient people can also communicate with people who are "slow-tempered", read more books on self-cultivation and listen to some quiet and lyrical pure music.
Impatience is a matter of mentality, as long as you adjust your mentality. Peace of mind is naturally cool and should not be an excuse. Examples; I'll make you a cup of oolong tea or Tieguanyin, and you'll even complain that the teacup is too small. The excuse is thirst ... the most meaningful thing in life is that the process is not the end. People are advanced animals because they can control their emotions and have their own thinking. Three minutes makes seven people and nothing.
How to change impatience
Grumpy because you think grumpy is the best way to make others afraid, obey yourself and achieve your goals. Of course, this is a habit formed subconsciously. Maybe your own level of consciousness doesn't think so. This habit formed in the subconscious mind is caused by many reasons. If you don't realize that every time you lose your temper, you are losing your temper, then you need to change your subconscious habits. If you can realize that you are losing your temper, then losing your temper is a strategy that you consciously choose to achieve your goal. Regarding changing the subconscious, 1 Use subconscious hints and tell yourself often that I will be a good-tempered person. It's best to always imagine that you want to get angry when you meet a certain occasion. However, I finally controlled myself. 2. I should realize the root cause and harm of my bad temper: when I was a child, I had too much family education or my parents had a bad temper, or I was inherited or something else. The root cause of my bad temper is that your subconscious mind can't find a better way to deal with the situation at that time, and it will automatically decide what to do. If you don't realize that you are angry every time, that's why. There are several strategies and methods to think about the next occasion after each time.
Ask close questions
What can I do except get angry? How many strategies and methods are there?
answer
At least n options, 1 be angry at that time, 2 be angry afterwards, 3 evaluate the angry result and then decide 4 be angry and think about what to do next time, 5 apologize first and then be angry, "I'm sorry, I'm really angry. I'm going to be angry, @ @ @ You son of a bitch "6 Ask him, do you want me to be angry? Ask him, do you think I will be angry? Tell him, please prepare a fire extinguisher. Hehe, choose a scene yourself.
How to get rid of children's impatience?
Parents should gradually cultivate their children's endurance, patience and perseverance from early childhood to primary school. If children get incorrect guidance and education, they may have to bear the "bad consequences" when they grow up. For example, children are easily influenced by their emotions. If they are a little unhappy, they feel unbearable, unable to think calmly about solutions to problems and unable to bear setbacks, thus affecting their work and life.
Steps/methods
Usually I can't wait to get something, such as watching cartoons, cutting the watermelon I just bought or telling another story. Mom will tell her that she can get it, but it will take some time. Give Jia Jia time to experience and compare, and let her know what "waiting" is. During this time, you can sing a short song to your child or count from 1 to 10. Let children understand that "waiting" is only a short time. The method of enumerating cases is very practical for cultivating children's patience. To cultivate children's patience, you have to try to explain to them, let them know how long to wait, and then ignore the possibility that children will bother you. However, for preschool children, don't let him wait for 5 minutes. You can wait 1 minute at first, and then increase it to 3 minutes. Generally, training at home will be better.
Tip: You can also do something while the child is waiting, such as keeping the child quiet when the mother answers the phone 1 minute. If the child can wait quietly for 1 minute, the mother should praise him like this: "You are so patient that you can play by yourself while the mother is talking." If the child can't listen, then you can ignore him for the next 1 minute and explain the reason to her. To do this, parents need to harden their hearts, otherwise the training will be in vain.
A temporary distraction. When parents are about to have a heart-to-heart talk with friends, they might as well give their children a little thing that he has never seen or is not allowed to play with, so as to divert his attention. When the child knows what it is, or what he can do with it, you end the conversation. If you are a toddler, it is a good idea to give him a toy. Because most children around the age of 2 have no ability to divert attention. But if children reach the age of 3 or 4, they should be encouraged to find something to do by themselves while waiting.
Tip: If a parent gives a 3-4 year old child a toy, it means that the parent is responsible for his own behavior, which is not conducive to cultivating the child's patience. Let children draw a picture while waiting, or read a book by themselves, and do something that children are usually interested in, so that children can learn how to kill time by themselves.
Tacit communication skills. If parents meet acquaintances on the road and need to talk a few words, children can cultivate tacit understanding with their parents in advance if they want to get attention at this time. For example, let the child put his hand on his parents' hand, and the parents hold his hand and tell him: I know your requirements and I will meet you as soon as possible. This way, you can communicate with your children without interrupting the conversation with others.
Although this method can provide physical contact for children, it can reassure him and let him be quiet for a while when adults are talking. But children are not required to leave their parents and do something by themselves. He still relies on his parents to calm himself down. Teaching children what patience is is a long-term process, not only to teach them what to do during the waiting time, but also to convince them that waiting patiently for a little time will eventually get what they expect.
Tip: It is difficult for children aged 3-4 years to understand how long it will be "10 minutes from now", and it is necessary to relate some things that children know during training. For example, you can say to your child, "It takes 10 minutes to braid your Barbie doll and put on a skirt. Mom will tell you a story." In this way, children will gradually understand the concept of time.