It seems that obedience has become an important criterion to measure the quality of children. Parents often overlook an important thing. If children obey their parents in everything and have no opinions of their own, it will be difficult to achieve great things in the future.

Children begin to have a sense of "self" around the age of 3. When they try to express what they want, want to do, refuse or protest for the first time, and then they are ruthlessly rejected or severely reprimanded by their parents, then the children will become timid the second time and dare not express at all the third time.

As children grow older, their sense of autonomy is gradually improving. Even if sometimes, their own ideas are not comprehensive enough, parents should listen to their children's opinions more. This is a respect for children's sense of independence, which helps children attach importance to their own ideas, express their own ideas, and act according to their own ideas.

What are the reasons that lead children to have no opinions?

1, parents arrange all the life of their children.

There are many parents who love their children too much and think that they are still young and can't do many things well by themselves. Therefore, in life, parents will blindly arrange, replace or interfere too much with their children's affairs.

However, this will lead to children having no choice. In the later life, children will be at a loss when they encounter anything and make any choice.

2. Unwilling to let go

Many parents believe that no matter how old their children are, they should listen to themselves. Therefore, the care and help given to children will not be reduced, and they will continue to interfere in their lives.

Over time, children will not only lose their opinions easily, but also become "giant babies" in society.

Parents like to deny their children.

If parents often deny their children, it is easy for them to have no opinion. We are all familiar with the following scenarios:

Going to the mall to try on clothes, the child is optimistic about a skirt: "This skirt doesn't look good, change it for this one."

Children like dancing: "What's the use of dancing? It also delays learning. "

The child expressed his opinion: "You are still young, what do you know?"

These words will cause children to set limits for themselves, parents will deny their feelings and ideas, and will dampen their enthusiasm for thinking and choosing. After a long time, children no longer have the confidence to express their ideas, and even feel that everything they say is wrong, and they are becoming less and less assertive.

Children trained by obedient education can't express their emotions independently, and they will have no opinions and go with the flow easily. And easily influenced by others. I always want others to help me make decisions when I do things, and it is easy to blindly listen to other people's suggestions and opinions without serious thinking and judgment.

I remember taking my daughter to math class. In order to test children's listening level in class, teachers often ask children to get up and answer some questions. On one occasion, the teacher gave an application question and wanted to know about the children's problem solving, so he divided the correct answer into four options for the children to choose.

The teacher called Yaya, and Yaya hung her head beside her daughter. Ya Ya looked at the question on the whiteboard and hesitated. Then I whispered B. As a result, I saw the children sitting in front of Yaya whispering to her that they wanted to choose A and C. Yaya immediately changed her answer. Finally, the teacher is going to confirm with the maid whether to choose B. The children at the back say D. The maid says, "Teacher, the answer is D."

Yaya just said all four options. In fact, the correct answer is that she said it for the first time. However, because children don't have their own opinions, blindly listen to other children's suggestions and follow other children's ideas, they lose their self-judgment ability and are influenced by what people next to them say.

Such children are lack of opinions and will not think deeply, but directly adopt other people's opinions and let them go.

There is a good friend whose parents taught her forbearance and sharing when she was a child. Every time she quarreled with her brother when she was a child, her parents would always say, "You are the boss, you have to let your brother go. Even if your brother is wrong, you can't be angry because you are older than him! "

In this way, she used it to educate her children. Good friends find that children are often robbed of toys and story books, and children simply don't know how to refuse and compete. They just put up with it, shed tears, and become more and more cowardly. Only then did she realize that she was wrong, and the way of education from a family deeply influenced her.

She used to be proud of educating an obedient child, but later found out that her obedient education had harmed the child and made the child more and more cowardly and inferior.

Children are independent individuals completely different from others. Children belong to themselves and should be their own. Parents should cultivate their children to have their own opinions and become their true selves.

How to cultivate a child with a strong mind?

1, let the children make their own decisions

We can create some opportunities for children to do things in person from an early age.

When my daughter was 4 years old, I took her to the supermarket to buy things. I will give her 2-5 yuan change and let her choose what she wants to buy.

At home, she will learn to help us cook. Before doing it, I told my daughter the general operation method and selection range, so that she could master the specific way. No matter what the result of her work is, I will affirm her behavior. If the result is not very good, I will show her how I did it.

2. Let children participate in family decision-making and allow children to have different ideas.

Some parents think that children are too young and know too little. They just need to concentrate on their studies and there is no need to participate in more things.

In fact, it is wrong for parents to have such an idea. Involving children in family decision-making can improve their participation, let them know that they are also an important member of the family and make them more responsible for the family.

In the process of participating in decision-making, children will use their brains to think and express their thoughts and decisions, which will make them more assertive.

At the same time, when a child speaks different ideas, try to understand his way of thinking from the child's point of view.

3. Allow children to be moderately "disobedient"

Children who have their own opinions often have a characteristic in life, that is, everything is unruly. This is what parents call "disobedience".

If children have their own ideas in thinking and are more active and different in action, parents may wish to be tolerant of their children and let the seeds of their thinking grow into flowers of wisdom. If children are "disobedient" in terms of ideology and morality, such as fighting and swearing, then they must be strictly disciplined.

News:

Children are independent individuals, not accessories of their parents. Every child has his own lovely and naive personality. These are extremely beautiful and unique beings in children, and parents should allow him to have his own thoughts and right to speak. We should take good care of these beautiful characteristics of children and make their future more colorful.