One day in class, I emphasized respecting teachers and attaching importance to teaching: being a teacher for one day and being a father for life. Because I just graduated, I am afraid that they will not accept it, and I want to put pressure on them with my qualifications. As a result, I shouted around me every day these days: dad, dad, waterfall Khan, this is not like a junior high school student.
There is a boy the size of a bean in the class. He is very fragile. He raised his hand in affirmation. One day, I asked a question and he wanted to answer it. I said, I'll find a girl to answer this question. You have a rest first. As a result, he righteously said: teacher, I am a girl!
One day, I forgot to bring my lesson preparation book in class, so I asked the class representative to get it. Other students asked me why I didn't bring my book. They were all stupid when I said I had an exam today. When the class representative came back, I said, I lied to you. I went to class today. Then someone complained with blood and tears: teacher, you are playing with our feelings, haha.
I taught myself earlier today. I said I want to take an exam. They thought I was playing with their feelings again, but no one took it seriously. As a result, when I was in class, a man said, teacher, I'd rather you play with my feelings again.
On Teacher's Day, a class I had just annoyed me, so I cut it. At the end of class, they asked me what gift I wanted. A student said: give the teacher's wife oral liquid, no matter whether she is good to us or not. I was furious and turned my head: I'll give you Huiyuan Treasure, no matter whether you treat him well or not.
I'm very afraid of insects. Once in class, a wasp flew in, so I hid under the podium and directed the students to drive it away. A few days later, I had another class. When I was writing on the blackboard, I heard a loud noise behind me. As soon as I turned around, a student waved his textbook and typed something. He told me proudly when he saw me turn around. Teacher, I killed the wasp for you. I saw a black suspected object in the book, waterfall sweat!
In oral communication class, there is a scene where students introduce their deskmates to their parents. Most of them are mixed seats Standing on the platform feels like a blind date, so I won't introduce it to my parents. They picked up the triangle (the big one): the triangle. I will introduce my deskmate to you. MM: Chalk, this is my deskmate.
Moreover, deskmates lose money from each other. Men complain that girls are barbaric, and women complain that boys secretly drink soda in class, which makes me laugh to death.
When I was speaking my composition last week, I criticized them for not finding Cosmetic Contact Lenses. I gave an example: every day when teachers go to work, they will pay attention to pomegranate trees at the school gate. They feel happy every day when they watch pomegranate grow up and turn green and red. It's called observation! As a result, a parent-teacher meeting was held on Friday, and a student knew that I was going to complain and pleaded desperately. I ignored him. As a result, he saw that the tide was gone and rushed downstairs with a bench. I was very surprised. As a result, after a few minutes, he came back leaning against the stool with a bunch of pomegranates of different sizes in his arm. Teacher, I picked pomegranates for you!
This morning, physical education class got off class and I went to the classroom to distribute things. A boy secretly gave me a small green pomegranate. I thought it was very strange, and then the girl next to me shouted: Teacher, did they set you up today? It turned out that the boy stole the pomegranate when he was in physical education class. The PE teacher caught them red-handed. When the PE teacher wanted to punish them, they put the blame on me and said I wanted to eat. Then the PE teacher shook his head. Why is your head teacher so naive? I am so angry, I am a mature, stable, noble and elegant image!
Boys are sometimes disobedient or too naughty in class. I will kick him with my shoes, but girls won't, so I will comment on her composition for her speech and slapstick. The most classic is the clear drizzle, which is a very fine rain. How can it make a sound when it blows over your face? Contradiction! So girls' discipline is much better, hehe.
Today, I want to talk about reading comprehension. Everyone has read books. Reading comprehension in Chinese exam is more difficult than writing. I don't think I can understand some people's thoughts all my life. When I was depressed, I got bored because I thought they made obvious mistakes, so I said after explaining, I'll find a classic and ridiculous example of our class for your entertainment. Everyone hid their exercises. I found it difficult to play hardball, so I went to the boy who accepted the pomegranate bribe and deliberately said, Forget it. Next question, when he is relieved, it will be as fast as lightning. Then read it out. Hearing his wailing, my mood is so cool, hehe.
Let's talk about the difference between men and women first. I'll talk about boys, not girls. The boy was unconvinced and said I was partial. I said it's not that the teacher is biased. When I was in pre-job training, many teachers gave an example, saying that a girl was scolded by her teacher and turned and jumped off the building. Teacher, I am timid. So resolutely don't scold women. As a result, the boy who picked pomegranate immediately stood up and said, I'm going to kill myself, too. Now jump, and then pretend to go to the corridor. I looked at him calmly and sang: Ah, goodbye friends, ah, goodbye friends, goodbye friends.
As a result, the whole class applauded and encouraged his behavior, and no one said he wanted to stay, so he had to go back to his seat in despair, hehe.
About hitting people
There is a boy in the class who likes to be funny. He always does it in front of me, and then I get angry and he's happy. Today, I was educating students in the corridor, and the person next to me told me that he hit me in the back. When I turned around, he was threatening to hit me. I was furious, but he was too fast for me to catch up with him. So I caught the boy who looked lively next to me: go and help me catch him! Then I continue to educate students. After a while, five or six boys dragged him to me and let me handle it. I gave him a good beating and then let the others go on. So, tragically, he was caught and beaten by a group of people. Wow, hahahaha.
Just as he was being beaten wildly, a class representative from another class passed by wrapped in a notebook. When he saw this scene, he looked at me in shock and asked me with confused eyes: Teacher, why? Embarrassed, I said to him: He hit me, and the student was even more shocked: Did the student hit the teacher? I nodded: Yes. Do you think we should fight? He returned to normal, said firmly, yes, and then asked eagerly, can I join?
Today, I talked about "Empty Mountain Birds" in class. It was a very lyrical article, and my classmates cooperated with me. At the end, a boy who had been lazy for a class suddenly leaned out of the window and said excitedly, teacher, there is a bird outside. I went over to have a look. It was a suspected crow, and then everyone crowded to see it. Nobody noticed me. I was extremely depressed and shouted, am I not better than that crow?
About nail cutting
The school carries out the construction of school spirit, requiring students not to wear jewelry, fancy clothes or keep long nails. I also ask students to do this in my class. As a result, a little boy didn't cut his nails, so I threatened him to cut them myself. As a result, he didn't cut them. Later, I learned that his mother had passed away, so I took a nail clipper and cut it myself. As a result, other students said that the little boy was very happy when I cut it, but I didn't cut it very well.
Or about nail cutting?
I checked other people's hands by the way that day, and many people looked at me with expectant eyes and asked me to cut them. It's really weird. There was a very quiet and delicate boy in the class who lost a few nails, so I ignored him and told him to go home and fix it himself until I killed others' nails. Looking back, he eagerly held out his hand, waiting for me to cut it. Depressed, I feel a lot of black lines hanging. In fact, many students' hands are a little cut by me, but they are all very happy. Are they all so loveless?
Today, I was transferred to be a substitute and changed the examination paper of grade three. There are many jokes.
The strongest thing is that there is a student who writes about the beauty of the human mind and praises the loyalty of a dog from beginning to end. Where is the beauty?
Tell me a long time ago.
Once in class, it was so hot that a boy hung his coat on his body. I think it's cool, but he's wriggling, and I'm upset. When I walked by, I said, XXX, pay attention to the image. My clothes are half faded. It's class now, not you cracking melon seeds at home. As a result, laughter came from behind. As soon as I turned around, another boy, who loves sex, was half naked, showing a very embarrassed look. He also pulled his T-shirt over his shoulder and looked at me with bedroom eyes. I felt a chill in my heart, and a Chinese book was smashed. : XXX, pay attention to your identity. You are not in the service industry.
Next class
Today's sports meeting rehearsal, all classes gather in the playground, and I also maintain class discipline in the playground. They were very noisy when the head teacher of the next class was not there. When I walked up to them, I didn't look at them, but I heard someone say: The teacher came and I didn't pay attention. I walked up to them and someone said, She is not the head teacher of our class. What are you afraid of? Hearing this, I turned around and smiled at him. Your head teacher sits behind me, and I want to tell him that you scold me! Then I proudly watched his face turn from red to green, so proud, hehe.
I don't know why more and more students greet me now. I met the innocent passerby in the next class when I went upstairs today. When he saw me, he stretched out his neck in a strange gesture to say hello. I said what are you doing, and he said, hello, teacher, can you? I said: 7. . . . . Look at mine, it stretches, and then he stretches left and right, so can I, and then I say, can you roll your tongue? He showed up. He asked again: Your thumb can perform ING (his thumb can bend twice). I cooked it again, and then I used my magic weapon: the elbow can be everted (the coaches in the gym were shocked by this move, hehe). He walked away silently.
One day in class, I asked my classmates to write silently on the blackboard. My feet hurt, so I took the opportunity to sit in his position. As a result, the first row looked up and shouted, why is the Chinese teacher gone?
I said gloomily, "I'm still alive!" "