Let's review first, that is, in the last issue, we shared three factors of inferiority. The first one is caused by the objective environment, which means that we are born with some physical defects, because there is no way for some objective environment. I have changed a few points. The second point is that we have been in a negative environment for a long time. The third point is that we like to compare ourselves and make us feel inferior.

I believe that through the sharing in the last issue, friends with inferiority must have found reasons for inferiority, so how to build self-confidence?

First, accept the objective reality.

What is accepting objective reality? For example, our height cannot be changed. For example, our skin cannot be changed. For example, some of us are fat and some are born thin. In addition, some of our academic qualifications may be junior high school or high school, and the academic qualifications are not very high.

If there is an inferiority complex caused by objective reality, the first thing we should do is to accept this reality.

The emphasis here is on acceptance, not on breaking. Then, for example, I will do this, and there is nothing I can do. So the explanation here is acceptance, not that we are broken, but that we accept the existing reality. So as to change the status quo that can be changed by reality. For example, if my height is not very good, then I can make my figure better through some fitness. Then someone said that my education was relatively low. What should I do? If I have a low education, can I buy some books at ordinary times to enrich my mind and temperament?

Some people say that I am not as handsome as others, so I am not as beautiful as others, and others are more handsome and fatter than me. At this time, we can change these, we can change ourselves. For example, can we change some of our own clothes and some of our usual words and deeds? Then we can make ourselves more knowledgeable and polite through study and practice.

So these are some points that we can change through practice and study. Then I also had a profound experience, that is, I went to high school when I was in high school, because many classmates would laugh at my dark skin at that time, because it was really dark at that time, including now. Then many students laughed at me and said that my skin was black. So what? So I felt inferior at that time, because people often denied me. I covered it with my long sleeves in summer, but I thought about it then. Then if others don't make friends with me because of my dark skin, then I don't think you are a friend worthy of my association.

So this is for everyone to share. The first point is to accept the established reality and change some points that we can change.

Second, establish self-affirmation.

Many times, it is the environment in which we grew up. Whether it is the family environment or the later period. Some people you meet may have long critical personalities, so if you are in such an environment for a long time and are not affirmed for a long time, there will be factors of inferiority. At this time, it is necessary to establish self-affirmation psychology, so how to establish self-affirmation psychology?

1. Find your own strengths and specialties.

So how do you find your own strengths and specialties? I graduated from college in about 20 12, and graduated from college until 20 12, 20 15 or even 16, 17. Then I did about three or four jobs, which is usually a job, that is, one year.

I felt special at that time. Yes, because I feel that I have done a lot of work, and then every job didn't last long and I didn't do very well. I feel like nothing. Until the end of 20 15, I began to read the book Color of Personality written by Le Jia, including 20 17, and May was also a particularly important day. At the end of May, I went to Beijing to study Le Jia's personality color as a basic course.

Then I found that, in fact, each of us has our own advantages and specialties. For example, at work, I feel that my personal expression ability is still relatively good, at least I can let others hear me clearly. Besides, I have a special hobby at work. I like to encourage others, that is, when others encounter problems, I will encourage them at this time. Some time ago, our team held a meeting to let everyone evaluate each other's advantages and disadvantages. Many colleagues gave me feedback. Just when everyone told me face to face, he said that Geng Haidong was a man, and then encouraged me when my state was not particularly good, which made me feel very warm.

Then I will give you more positive energy, so through study, my negative emotions become less. Even if I have negative emotions, I will not necessarily pass them on to others. Instead, I will give them some encouragement, give them some praise, and then motivate them. These are some of my strengths and specialties in my work.

In my life, I find that I have many advantages myself. For example, I like cleaning at home, so I don't like it very much. I just look at the dirty floor, so I like cleaning and play basketball at ordinary times. I feel that among amateurs, I play basketball fairly well. And every time I go to sing, I feel that my voice is pretty good. If I sing, I think I sing better than most people, although I am not very professional. And I especially like laughing in my life, that is, if a friend chats with me, maybe I prefer joking and being careless.

And I personally like it. Everyone knows that friends who see my circle of friends know that I usually like to write more and share more. I feel that I have a lot of inspiration every day, so that I can continue to write a long paragraph. I remember our manager was. But now he has been promoted to the director of Xi 'an. When he left, he said a word, that is, he praised me once at our morning meeting. He said that Geng Haidong can write a lot of feelings every day. Then send it to a circle of friends and think this is his special point. And I feel that I really have a lot of feelings every day. If I want to express them, every day is something I think of myself.

So think about it at this time, in fact, I still have many advantages and specialties. The point I want to express is that if you have a sense of inferiority, then you must find your own advantages and specialties and learn more about your own advantages. You will find that you can list a lot.

2. Get rid of contrast psychology

The second point of establishing self-affirmation is to get rid of the psychological contrast. In fact, inferiority is not entirely a bad thing, because we will find that a person with inferiority often has a feeling of longing in his heart, that is, he wants to make himself better and then keep getting better.

Well, for example, my education is a junior college graduate. But to be honest, I sometimes feel inferior to this degree, because when I was a student, my grades in primary school were particularly good, and I was among the best in my class, but. It fell in junior high school, and then it fell even more in high school. But from the bottom of my heart, I want to be a particularly outstanding person, that is, I want to enter a good university, because I remember that when I took the college entrance examination for the first time in senior three, I should have applied for Tsinghua, but I only got 365,438+00 in that year's college entrance examination, and the admission score in Tsinghua was at least 600. About 650 points

Later, I re-read for another year, because I was unwilling. I thought I just wanted to get into a good university, but I found the gap was too big in the first year. Later, I applied for Zhengzhou University, the best university in Henan, but I failed the exam. I got more than 370 points, more than 60 points than the first college entrance examination. Then Zhengzhou University is also a 2 1 1 university, and his score line is quite high, about 580 points.

So once I took a train on my way to school in Chongqing, and then there were many people sitting opposite. I asked them and talked to them. I said, do you also study in Chongqing? They told me which school you went to. They told me it was Chongqing University, and I was still very inferior.

However, you found that after your own study and growth, for example, in the past two years, I faced those people with high academic qualifications again, and my inner inferiority completely declined, because I could see some advantages in myself. For example, when I talked with them, I found that my expression ability was not necessarily worse than theirs, and he did not necessarily have my advantages. I think I am still positive. So don't compare your weaknesses with others. If you want to compare your strengths with others' weaknesses, will you be more confident? Of course, the most important thing is not to compare, and it is best not to compare.

3. Learn from others and compare with yourself

The third point of establishing self-affirmation is to learn from others and compare with yourself. Just now, when it comes to comparison, most people in our lives actually like to make comparisons. Moreover, I especially like to compare my own shortcomings with the advantages of others. People who have a special part in their personality, that is, personality, have a red personality. People with red personality have a characteristic, that is, they especially like to immerse themselves in past feelings, such as some unhappy things that happened in your past, lovelorn love, or you didn't do well in this exam, or you met some unhappy things at work. Today, it is particularly easy for us to immerse ourselves in past feelings.

I've been thinking about it, but I just can't think of an ending, I just can't figure it out. Generally speaking, people with red personalities have rich feelings. For example, if they can amplify their inner feelings many times, even 100 times, they will feel particularly rich. If in the eyes of others or a sentence may sound nothing to others, his inner feelings will be different after hearing this sentence.

So what should we do at this time, learn from the advantages of others, for example, when you chat with someone, you find that what you say is a certain point. Why do you think he touched you? Next time you talk to someone, can you use this method yourself?

So this is learning from others. You must learn from others' strengths and be good at discovering others' strengths. At this time, you can not only get along well with this relationship, but also get better and better in personal growth and economy. The person who compares this should be ourselves, so we should think about it. Are you better than yesterday? You are in a better state, working harder, making progress in your expression, and finding your own advantages and specialties, so the person we want to compare is ourselves, not ourselves yesterday.

Third, find self-worth.

The third point of building self-confidence is the third method, which is to find the value of self.

At this point, please ask yourself a question. So far, have you ever thought about your value? You think this society is a little far from the country, and it is your friends around you. What value have you provided them, what have you done for them, what is the significance of your existence, and what is the highest demand in Maslow's psychology.

So, build confidence. It is very important to find self-worth and build self-confidence at the same time. We do one thing, which can reflect our self-worth. This thing itself will get more affirmation and praise when we do it. Why? Because of the value you provide for everyone.

One of the characteristics of that scarlet letter is that I used to be like this myself. For example, I like to jump around at work. I think it's good. I heard that the job is good, very profitable and more fun. Then I'll try. I want to make great achievements in that matter. I have great ambitions and high expectations. But when I really do this job, we will find out. Then if you can't solve this problem yourself, there is no motivation and source to move forward.

Even if you want to die, it doesn't necessarily mean that you have done things well. However, for the red character, even if you do it well and have a sense of accomplishment, you are not happy. Sometimes I give up. Because for people with red personality, happiness is the most important thing in life, and nothing is more important than happiness.

Then, why do many people always do things anticlimactic and don't stick to the end? If they don't do it in the end, you will deny yourself and then you will feel inferior.

A teacher once gave me a suggestion, and I want to share it with you, that is, I must find something that I am relatively good at and interested in. If you say this thing, you are good at it, and at the same time. You are very interested, then we can do it successfully easily.

In my previous job, about three or four jobs, an important reason why I didn't do well was that I didn't stick to it for a long time. On the other hand, if I don't feel this sense of value in the process of doing this, I'm not happy.

I believe many friends will be confused, that is to say, they don't know what they are good at and interested in. What should I do? Should I quit my job now to find a better job and find something that interests me?

Actually, it's completely unnecessary. In this case, the cost is very high, because everyone has to go through a trial and error process in the process of finding these things again. We can cultivate things we are interested in, such as whether we can buy some books to read, read more books at the same time, and prepare some online courses at the same time. The cost is very low, about tens of dollars, and there are many good courses, because now, we can even sign up for a training class. Through these forms, we will start to do this thing. In fact, it depends on whether you are willing to stick to it for a long time and try to do something for it, and then you will gradually.

We can try all these things. For example, I may be helpful to my present job, not to mention that I have made great achievements myself. But in private, I will consciously cultivate my hobbies to see if this is something I am really good at and like to do, and whether I can stick to it. For example, many of my friends in the group know that our small group was actually built about two years ago. When I started to build a group, I hoped to find one. Later, I found that this goal may not be as beautiful as I thought at first, that is, to make everyone really make great progress and growth, but I found one thing, as far as I feel, our group is still quite positive, just through our group.

Usually there is not much interaction. But there are about ten friends who trust me and often chat with me privately. And there will be several people in the group who send good morning or good night every day, say something encouraging and chat occasionally. Moreover, Xiao Wu's sister and Yi Rong's sister will often share, including Xiao Rui and Zhu Qing, and so on. There are so many friends we have never met, and then they are separated by 108 thousand miles. Then everyone especially trusted me and supported me. So it makes me feel that what I do is meaningful and valuable.

So at that time, I immediately started to write sharing in my circle of friends. This is my name. The more you share now, the luckier you see, and the cumulative number of words should be above 380. And through the sharing of friends, people in my circle of friends will often see me insist on doing such a thing. Maybe not every circle of friends will be helpful to everyone, but maybe some friends can touch others and inspire others to some extent. Then people will praise me and send me messages in private. I think the idea you shared is particularly good. When I received such feedback, I found that what I did proved to be valuable and meaningful. I can feel this sense of meaning and value from this matter, and I am particularly happy.

For example, I often like reading books, because I started reading books when I was a freshman in 19 17, and I didn't read many books before, but at that time I wanted to grow up and make myself better, so I started reading books. After reading books for a day or two, I felt that there was little change, but I told myself at that time that I must persist in doing such things, and when you read them, It can be said that you must be smarter than before, and your thinking ability is stronger than before, whether it is learning ability or other summary. So it makes me feel that reading is also very meaningful.

Then I believe many of my friends, who are neither stars nor experts, or have a particularly big career, but I have a special feeling for them. When we insist on sharing some knowledge we have learned, or your own experience, and say what you feel, you will share it with more people around you. You encourage them to share with them when they need help. At this time, you will find that you will get a lot of affirmation and praise. These affirmations and praises are some positive feedback. He is here to nourish you and make you stronger and more confident. And then form such a virtuous circle. Make you better and more. The richer you are, the faster you will know what you want and the clearer your goals will become.

So I am especially grateful to all of you here, and to every friend in the group. It is also because of your trust that I dare not say that I am particularly narcissistic. At least, it has greatly weakened my previous sense of inferiority, and now I can face more unknowns and solve them alone. So thank you very much for your trust in me.

Because of everyone's trust, I think I have done some small things now. For example, the more I share in that small group and circle of friends, the luckier I am, including me. Learning personality, color and reading, I will share some points I have gained and help my colleagues and friends around me. When they need to communicate with me, I will tell them what I know and make it more meaningful. So thank you very much.

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