I don't want a brief tenderness, just your lifelong companionship.
Just because you are so beautiful, I dare not declare that I love you.
My cat is very hairy. Can you take care of it for me? ...
I hope the last person I see before I go to bed is you. ...
Please be my baby.
I wonder if loving you is a considerate reason?
I want to grow old with you.
I think I will still love you as much as I do now in a hundred years.
10 is with you, but I don't want to give anyone a chance! !
1 1 I think I will accompany you to the market every day in the future. ..
12 since you appeared, I just know that being loved is so beautiful. ..
13 was lost in my heart, and you pulled me out of loneliness.
14 I love you until the end of the world.
15 is all the same to you, rain or shine.
16 think about watching the sunrise and sunset with me.
17 I'm willing to spend thousands of years waiting for you to smile like a warm sun in early spring.
18 My world is only known to you.
19 keeps you in my heart.
I know that love needs freedom to be happy, but I prefer to be with you and go with you.
2 1 I don't know when I started, but I have learned to rely on it.
Only you know my mood and only you can bring it to me.
If we don't love enough in this life, the afterlife will last forever. ....
I will cherish you more because I know I can't live without you. ....
The earth is still turning and the world is changing. I love you forever.
In every night with you, it is no longer lonely.
I just need a harbor where I can rest. ..
I miss you every day. ...
29 people will grow old. I hope you will still be by my side then.
No matter where you are, whenever you need me, I will fly back to you.
3 1 You filled my life with love and tears. .....
I can't write love letters, I can only write "heart" .....
If you are cold, I will hold you in my arms; If you hate it, I will wipe away your tears ... if you love me, I will broadcast it to the world; If you leave me, I will bear it silently. ....
34. My love is open for you, like white lightning breaking the sky; My love runs for you, like red blood filling my body. ....
No matter in this life or in the afterlife ... I just want you. .....
Although I can't satisfy your greatest material life ... I can satisfy you with my heart. ..
I love you with my old sadness and my childhood loyalty. ...
Your words have been locked in my memory. You can keep the key for me all my life.
Nothing suits you better than your love; No decoration is more charming than your love;
I want to sublimate a short poem about my love for you into a long life essay.
4 1 I have surrendered unconditionally for you, so you can sign a love contract.
In this life ... if I can't have you, I will hate myself. .............
Drink the wine of love you brewed, and you will be thirsty for a lifetime without refilling it.
I swear ... fifty years later ... I still love you as much as I do now. ...
Your name is written all over my heart ... Let me love you forever! ! ! ! !
Without your love ... living goals will be difficult to recover!
You would rather not be free for you.
Love you forever in this life.
I'm going to halve my rights and double my obligations. ....
I only hold your hand in this life ... because you are enough in this life. .....
5 1 I didn't know there was an emotion called attachment until I met you, and there was an emotion called * * *.
It turns out that waiting can be so beautiful because I love you.
I don't believe in eternal love, because I will only love you more every day.
I didn't know the sweetness of love until I fell in love with you. .......
Besides loving you ... I can't think of any reason to keep me alive. .....
The pig said, "My mother calls me a pig, which is nice!" "
The dog said, "My mother calls me a puppy, which is nice!" " "
The chicken said, "You talk, I'll go first!" "
The rabbit said, "I am a rabbit!" " "
The pig said, "I am a son of a bitch!" " "
The chicken said, "I'm a son of a bitch!" " "
The dog said, "You talk, I'll go first!" "
Lang Ke said: "People call me a ronin, which is very nice!"
The samurai said, "It's nice to be called a samurai!"
The expert said, "It's nice to be called an expert!"
The swordsman said, "You talk, I'll go first!"
General Li Zongren said: I am a benevolent man!
General fu said to him: I am just!
General Zuo Quan said: I have this right!
General Huo Qubing said: You talk, I'll go first!
The door of Lao Zhang's house is made of wicker. Lao Zhang said: My door is a wooden door.
Lao Li's door is made of plastic. Lao Li said that my door is made of plastic.
The door of Lao Wang's house is made of brick. Lao Wang said: My door is a brick door.
Liu's door is made of steel. Lao Liu said: you talk, I'll go first!
The students of normal college said: I am from normal college.
The students of the Railway Institute said: I am from the "Iron Institute"
The students in vocational colleges said: I am from vocational colleges.
The students of the technical college said: You talk, I'll go first.
It is raining. Many fools in mental hospitals are bathing in the rain with towel soap. You are the only one watching on the windowsill. Someone asked curiously: What are you doing? You said those fools were stupid. I'll wait until the water is hot.
In a mental hospital, a patient is writing a letter. When the nurse saw it, she asked him curiously.
Nurse: Who are you going to write to?
Patient: Write it to myself!
Nurse: Then what do you write?
Patient: You are mentally ill! I haven't received it. How do I know?
A big mouse walked into a flower shop and was chased by a Xiaohua Mall. Finding that there was no way out, the rat picked up a bunch of roses and prepared to resist. When Xiaohua Mall saw it, he immediately lowered his head and said shyly, You are so bad, he is still young!
I remember when I was in kindergarten, the teacher said, "It's three yuan to wet the bed once, five yuan to wet the bed twice and seven yuan to wet the bed three times." You suddenly stand up and say, "How much is the monthly subscription?" What a clever boy.
A bad wolf came out for food and heard a woman lecturing her child, saying, If you cry again, I will throw you out to feed the wolf! As a result, the wolf waited all night and said, damn it, this old lady doesn't keep her word.
After seeing off the guests, the groom returned to the bedroom, only to find a meatball lying on the bed! The groom was frightened and asked where the bride was. Meatball said shyly, I hate it, you don't even know people when they take off their clothes!
Our general manager is surnamed Zhou. I was driving as soon as he called. When I get nervous, I say, "Premier Zhou ..."
17 when I was in college, I heard a girl order: master, stir-fry a plate of hot and sour potato shreds, not potatoes!
18 When I was a sophomore, our Chinese teacher was an old teacher who had just transferred from Nanchang to Beijing. He has a strong accent. His son
Relying on the architecture department of Tsinghua, this is also the purpose of his coming to Beijing. He is very proud of his son and always tells us about his son.
I always say, "My moth (son) is from the Department of Frog (Tsinghua) and Toad (Architecture)." ...
If moths jump on frogs and toads, won't they become snacks? ...
19 cooking at noon, my mother made me a pot of carrots: "Go, cut the carrots into diced meat!" "
A colleague asked me yesterday. How to write festivals? I replied: add a festival section under the grass prefix and remove the grass prefix! accomplish
The corpse staff laughed! I haven't reacted yet ~ ~ ~ ~!
When I was looking for a job, the examiner asked me when I would graduate.
I wanted to say 2000, but when I got excited, I said, "Two thousand years ago. . . "
What's more, the examiner sighed and said, "Confucius' student. "
Just after school started 10 minutes, my deskmate raised her hand and said, teacher, I want to go to the toilet.
The English teacher said unhappily: How old are you to go to the toilet?
I have a classmate who has been reviewing computer level 3. One day playing football, another classmate took the ball to the bottom line and only listened to him.
Shout: get in the car! Get back in the car! (in the middle)
I remember once buying a fruit called Elizabeth. I opened my mouth and said, boss, how much is Shakespeare? Laobandang
Stay in the field.
The physics teacher said, "It's a thick spring. I pushed from both ends to see if there was any densification (constipation). "
Listen to your classmates,
Once a girl in her dormitory went to buy sanitary napkins.
Say to the boss: a pack of sanitary napkins.
The boss actually asked: Do you want three delicacies or spicy food?
Then the classmate paused and said, Sam Hsien, I'm afraid I can't stand spicy food. . .
Senior sister of 26 university, studying educational psychology. Late ... walked into the classroom and glanced at the blackboard. The old professor called her senior when she was angry.
Answer the questions on the blackboard. The elder sister faltered for a long time and said, "This is too difficult to talk about." The whole class is nervous.
(note. Professor's original title:)
A very good male classmate of mine fell to the ground, and I asked a question to show my concern: "Does your ass hurt?" result
I accidentally said, "Your ass fell to death." Khan ~ ~ ~ Brother stood up and patted his ass, farted and said, "Not dead, still breathing."
Anger! "I'm dizzy directly
Drinking with leaders and others, he raised his glass and said loudly, "Let's die together!" " My brain was too hot. ......
On one occasion, the photographer of our newspaper interviewed the star of Anonymous and told him how he met the star at the meeting. Boss, look
I made a joke on a pile of photos on the desk: I see you have become his royal photographer. But the boss's southern Mandarin is not known.
No, its pronunciation is "Yu" or "Sun". From then on, the poor photographer was called "everyday photography"
Teacher ",when he works overtime, of course it becomes" night use ".
Boss, do you have a toilet paper hunger card?
3 1 Our colleague went on a business trip, so the dealer invited us to dinner. If you want to pee while eating, the dealer said there is a bathroom opposite. Let's go
You tell the door that we will eat across the street, and it will be free. In order to save 20 cents, our colleague went straight ahead.
, rightfully said to the toilet manager: "I'm here for dinner!"
I'm from the logistics department. After the new year, customers call to ask when the goods will arrive before the holiday, because these days are a holiday.
Confused, I didn't know the content of the order, so I asked: What are you?
A friend of mine has just watched The Legend of the Condor Heroes, and he is very interested in "fighting the dog to win the battle" and often plays jokes on others.
One day, as usual, he. Kicked a man and shouted "kick the dog's leg!" " Everyone laughed wildly, and he felt embarrassed.
He kicked again and shouted, "Dog kicks!"
When I was in high school, I went out to work during the holidays.
I want to find a job as a waiter in a restaurant.
I'm nervous because I'm a child, and this is my first job.
Originally I wanted to ask the manager if he needed a job, but I also wanted to say that it would be more subtle to ask him if he needed manpower.
The result said, "Manager, do you need a beater here?"
I almost found a hole to get into.
Once I went to the market to buy food and prepare for dinner. A Korean friend bought lettuce 2.4 yuan, and he gave all the change.
I gave it to the vendor, but there was still a dime missing, so he said to the vendor-
"I gave you all my hair, so I have no hair."
The peddler was speechless, and it took him a long time to answer-
I don't want your hair.
The manager usually says to smokers at meetings: smokers are strangled! !
I remember when KFC went out to spread its wings, because I didn't see the advertisement, I always thought it was given by Liu Xiang.
KFC endorsed it. When I get to Ken, tell the waiter directly that I want Liu Xiang to spread her wings. . .
After the 38 KFC Sudan Red Incident, I went to KFC.
The waiter asked, what do you want to eat?
I didn't even think about it: a pair of Sudan red.
The waiter immediately looked as if he was choking.
I went to a small shop for dinner with some colleagues after work the other day. There were quite a lot of people in the shop at that time, and a fat waiter was busy.
Like a bee, a colleague shouted "waiter ~ ~" and the girl ran over. "What are the bills of several nodes?"
We all fell down at that time, and then we went to this restaurant for dinner. When ordering, we shouted "waiter pays the bill" and then left after eating.
Shout "order! ! "
I met my colleague in the bathroom at noon, and suddenly I didn't know what word to say hello to. The tie asked, "Have you eaten?"
? "After asking, I was annoyed and embarrassed. My colleague replied, "Yes, and you? "I'm dizzy ~ ~ ~ ~
4 1 my colleague asked about the exchange rate between RMB and Japanese yen, and he said, how can apes exchange it with Japanese yen?
42. The brothers in the dormitory watched Prison Break. When a man took out a blade from his mouth to kill someone, the boss suddenly jumped out: "
My mouth is hidden in the blade and I can still talk. I'm impressed. . . "
One day at noon, my mother asked my brother to move the dining table to the side. My brother hasn't moved for a long time, but my mother is anxious. Kill it.
Appearance:
"Did you hear that? ! I told you to move the table two kilometers to the side. "
=_=! ! !
After the impassioned speech by the chairman of the trade union, the last sentence reached a climax: comrades, let's work this year.
Do better than next year! The whole audience fell.
Our teacher is very good. One day, he said, "Take out your homework, let's check the answers and cross out the right ones.
After writing the correct answer on it, ............................................. "
I called my long-lost friend and learned that he was "suspended with pay"
There are so many beauties in Jiangshan, and countless heroes shoot eagles. . . . . .
Go to the cinema to see Pirates of the Caribbean 3. There is a trailer for Transformers before the movie starts. When you see the leader of a fanatic,
Hou couldn't remember that Megatron and his team were called Decepticons because he was so excited.
The fruit is a little exclaimed, "How handsome! It's eight days in the south! "
What's terrible is that it was suddenly very quiet at that time without any movie sound effects, and many people stared at me and laughed ... what a pity!
Have dinner with a group of friends
One of them was probably betrayed by his brother. He was very depressed, drank a lot of beer and then stood up with a red face.
Give a shout
Brother! Not for sale! ! !
I think what I'm trying to say is that brothers are not for sale
At that time, more than a dozen people at our table were lying down.
There are three people in the family, named robber, kitchen knife and trouble.
One day, the trouble disappeared. The robber came to the public security bureau with a kitchen knife and said to the police, "hello, I'm a robber." I am looking for trouble with a kitchen knife. "
Hee hee and haha are good friends, very good friends.
One day, haha died. Hee hee is very sad. He went to Haha's grave and said, "Haha, you are dead."
One day, an elephant was walking in the forest and accidentally ran into an ant nest full of ants. It shook off the ants, but there was one left on the elephant's neck. At this time, the ants on the ground shouted to the ants above: strangle it ... strangle it. ......
Three mice are bragging. One said, "I eat rat poison as candy, and I feel uncomfortable if I don't eat it for a day." Another said, "I like to walk in the street twice a day, otherwise I won't sleep well." The third mouse said, "It's getting late. Go home and hug the cat to sleep."
The husband and wife divorced for their children, and the wife confidently said, "The child comes out of my stomach, of course it is mine!" " The husband said, "Joke! This is complete nonsense. Can the money withdrawn from the ATM go to the ATM? No one inserted the card! ?
Chinese zodiac
The folk Chinese zodiac in China is also a topic of great interest to westerners. Everyone wants to know what animal he belongs to. Unfortunately, "genus" and "belonging to" Hemingway are often confused.
One day he excitedly said to the secretary girl, "You are a pig."
For Hemingway, it is too difficult to describe the sex of animals with Chinese word "female" or "male", because in English, both male and female can be used to describe people or animals.
One night, Hemingway took her dog for a walk in the street. After seeing me, he proudly introduced to me, "This is my bitch."
helmet
Besides driving, Hemingway usually likes riding a motorcycle, which is convenient. I said there are too many cars on the road, so be careful. He replied: Never mind, I will wear a condom. He means "helmet".
Metric words
Quantifiers in Chinese also make Hemingway nervous. Once he flaunted himself as a "hero" and asked him what he meant. He said, "A hero is a thin, tall and good-looking person." He explained that "one" naturally means long and straight, and "hero" should naturally be a good-looking man.
Another time he told me that he saw "a puppy" on the road. I immediately corrected that it should be a puppy, but he seriously refuted that it was really a puppy, because the puppy had been run over by a car, and the squashed puppy naturally became a puppy, just like a piece of paper and a photo.
In addition, for example, what "a pair of pants", Hemingway plausibly defended, because pants have two legs, and the two are a pair, so that's right. Even arguing with China people, insisting that it should be "a set of ass", which sounds funny.
All kinds of "juice"
Once, I tested Hemingway's idiom ability: "Rack one's brains".
The result is:
Rack one's brains, milk, juice and soup.
Ha! "You're racking your brains, also didn't come up with' racking your brains'.
A mother said to the little girl, "If someone molests you, touch the top and say" No ",and touch the bottom and say" Stop "! 」
The next day, the little girl was sexually harassed and came back crying for her mother. After the little girl listened, her mother said angrily, "Did you refuse that man?" 」
The little girl looked at her mother with innocent eyes, nodded and said, "That man touched me up and down, and I said," Don't stop! ! 」
Ge Liang is proficient in eight special skills, one of which is ventriloquism. On this day, Zhuge Liang was discussing with Liu Bei in his account, and Zhuge Liang suddenly wanted to fart.
I am afraid of being heard by Liu Bei. Sorry, he had an idea and said, "Master, I'll call you like a woodpecker. How about adjusting the atmosphere?" Liu Bei nodded.
Zhuge Liang barked twice in imitation of a woodpecker and took the opportunity to fart. Then he asked, "What's the matter, master? Do I learn like it? " Liu Bei said, "Learn it again, Gang."
You farted too loudly, I didn't hear you. "
A primary school student participated in the school recitation competition for the first time and was particularly nervous. The teacher encouraged him for a long time, but his palms were still sweating. It's finally her turn.
Pupils gritted their teeth and walked a few steps to the center of the stage: "Teachers and classmates, the topic I recited is: Red leaves are crazy (maple leaves) ..." ~ ~ # RMB * * ......
As a primary school student, I am particularly envious when I see my classmates who are assigned to read the composition by the teacher. I always hoped that the teacher would let me read it. The opportunity has finally come.
"So-and-so, read your composition to everyone!"
Pupils suddenly stood up: "My teacher". Teacher, I am more like your mother ...
This time, I am the host of a song and dance troupe, and I am not proficient in learning.
At a performance, I hurried on stage without being ready.
The performance takes turns.
It was her turn to announce the curtain call: "Audience friends, let's listen to Du Zi flute ..." (Note: "Du Zi" means swearing in Northeast dialect)
The audience threw out a piece of #-
My family often plants green onions in pots in winter to keep them fresh and tender.
My sister saw it when she came home for the New Year and said happily to my mother, "Hey! Mom, it's too rough ... "
My mother and I both laughed.
There is a neighbor named "Auntie" who goes to work by bike every day.
I met her at the door early in the morning. I smiled and said politely, "Grandma, Daban ..."
Bah! ..... I want to bite off my tongue.
My classmate anonymous, one day feeling sorry for himself, suddenly turned to the person behind him and said, "Is my chest hair nice?"
He was startled and said, "Oh, I want to ask if my eyebrows are fierce."
Everybody stand up! Play the national flag and raise the national anthem. ...
I take my son to feed the ducks. He ran after the duck while scattering bread crumbs, and I ran after him with his apple (he didn't like it, so I had to take a few bites when he was distracted). He kept running, and I kept calling him, "Come and eat an apple and chase the duck!" " After repeating this sentence, I finally shouted, "Come and have a bite of the duck." ..... "Then skillfully stopped the car.
I remember when I was in primary school, there was a text called Waterfall. In the middle, it is said that the author turned a mountain and saw a waterfall hanging in it. When one of my female classmates was reading aloud, she was also reading aloud: I was shocked when I climbed over this mountain, and there was a rag hanging on the mountain. . .
The whole class was stunned.
There is also a passage from a Russian writer's novel: all the houses here belong to the lords (referring to the rich).
As a result, one of my male classmates read aloud: All the houses here belong to old men. As soon as the voice fell, our Chinese teacher asked him doubtfully: Where do the old ladies live?
Zhuge Liang is a master of eight stunts, one of which is ventriloquism. On this day, Zhuge Liang was discussing with Liu Bei in his account, and Zhuge Liang suddenly wanted to fart.
I am afraid of being heard by Liu Bei. Sorry, he had an idea and said, "Master, I'll call you like a woodpecker. How about adjusting the atmosphere?" Liu Bei nodded.
Zhuge Liang barked twice in imitation of a woodpecker and took the opportunity to fart. Then he asked, "What's the matter, master? Do I learn like it? " Liu Bei said, "Learn it again, Gang."
You farted too loudly, I didn't hear you. "
Electrical appliances hold a joke contest, stipulating that every electrical appliance should tell a joke, so that every audience at the scene can laugh, or they will be arrested in Aruba.
The washing machine was the first one to play. As soon as he finished his joke, all the audience burst out laughing.
Suddenly I heard the rice cooker say, "It's so cold ~ ~ ~"
So the washing machine was taken to Aruba.
Next is the smartest computer. As soon as his joke was finished, all the home appliances laughed.
I heard the rice cooker say, "It's so cold ~ ~ ~"
So! Computers were also brought to Aruba.
The third place is the most humorous desk lamp. The desk lamp confidently finished the joke, and everyone laughed and rolled on the ground.
The rice cooker said, "It's so cold ~ ~ ~"
Just as the desk lamp was about to be taken to Aruba, the rice cooker stood up angrily and turned to the refrigerator sitting behind him and said, "I'm full." Smile happily, right? Don't open your mouth so wide. Cold! "
Electrical appliances hold a joke contest, stipulating that every electrical appliance should tell a joke, so that every audience at the scene can laugh, or they will be arrested in Aruba.
The washing machine was the first one to play. As soon as he finished his joke, all the audience burst out laughing.
Suddenly I heard the rice cooker say, "It's so cold ~ ~ ~"
So the washing machine was taken to Aruba.
Next is the smartest computer. As soon as his joke was finished, all the home appliances laughed.
I heard the rice cooker say, "It's so cold ~ ~ ~"
So! Computers were also brought to Aruba.
The third place is the most humorous desk lamp. The desk lamp confidently finished the joke, and everyone laughed and rolled on the ground.
The rice cooker said, "It's so cold ~ ~ ~"
Just as the desk lamp was about to be taken to Aruba, the rice cooker stood up angrily and turned to the refrigerator sitting behind him and said, "I'm full." Smile happily, right? Don't open your mouth so wide. Cold! "
Electrical appliances hold a joke contest, stipulating that every electrical appliance should tell a joke, so that every audience at the scene can laugh, or they will be arrested in Aruba.
The washing machine was the first one to play. As soon as he finished his joke, all the audience burst out laughing.
Suddenly I heard the rice cooker say, "It's so cold ~ ~ ~"
So the washing machine was taken to Aruba.
Next is the smartest computer. As soon as his joke was finished, all the home appliances laughed.
I heard the rice cooker say, "It's so cold ~ ~ ~"
So! Computers were also brought to Aruba.
The third place is the most humorous desk lamp. The desk lamp confidently finished the joke, and everyone laughed and rolled on the ground.
The rice cooker said, "It's so cold ~ ~ ~"
Just as the desk lamp was about to be taken to Aruba, the rice cooker stood up angrily and turned to the refrigerator sitting behind him and said, "I'm full." Smile happily, right? Don't open your mouth so wide. Cold! "
Ugly child
A woman got on the bus with a child in her arms. The driver glanced at the child and suddenly said, "I have never seen such an ugly child in my life!" " "
The angry woman went to the last row, sat down and said to a man next to her, "This driver just insulted me!" " "
The man replied, "You go and get even with him at once, and I'll hold this ugly monkey for you! ……"
A joke that you can't speak Mandarin well.
1, the fish seller shouted at the top of his lungs, "fish, fish." Not to be outdone, a jujube seller nearby immediately shouted, "Shit (jujube), shit (jujube)." "Fish." "Oh,no." "Fish." "Shit." The more fish sellers listen, the more wrong they are. He felt that the jujube seller was deliberately targeting him, so they quarreled.
The director of a township enterprise will visit Kobe, Japan. He doesn't even speak Mandarin, but only speaks dialects at ordinary times. So he sent his subordinates to find translators, and when he came back, he reported that "none of the Japanese translators could understand the factory director's dialect". The factory director said, "Easy. Let's invite another teacher from our town to translate our dialect into Mandarin first. " The subordinate said, "Not yet. When I arrive in Japan, I have to ask someone to translate Japanese Mandarin into Kobe dialect. "
A foreigner with a strong dialect got lost in this city. When he saw a gentle young lady coming, he greeted him and asked, "Rabbit (comrade), give me a kiss (sorry) ..." Before the words were finished, the young lady blushed with anger.
4. A southerner came to a snack bar in Beijing and said to the waitress, "How much is it to sleep for one night (a bowl of jiaozi)?" Hearing this, the waiter changed his face and screamed, "Rogue!" Hearing this, the southerner said, "It's only sixty cents, which is cheap. Come for one night (bowl). "
5. A brother and sister farmer used a scooter to pull wheat to the market to sell. A southerner came to their brother and sister and asked, "Brother, how much is your little sister?" Big brother was so angry that the veins stood out on his forehead.
6. Niu Laobo is shouting loudly: "The moon cakes are sold, and ten are four dollars." Many people gathered around to buy this "cheap" moon cake, and only when they paid did they know that the moon cake for the elderly was four yuan for ten yuan.
7. The old people in the nursing home held a party on the night of Mid-Autumn Festival. The host, Mrs. Wang, said: "Ladies and gentlemen, the performance is really damn (start). Please be quiet. "
8. A northerner inquired where the "cable car" was in a park in Guangzhou. He searched according to the answer and found the "men's room".
9. On the first morning after a couple got married, the family got up and washed their faces. The bride respectfully said to her mother-in-law, "Mother-in-law, you should die first." After that, the bride said to the groom, "My mother-in-law is dead, will you die?" After a pause, he said, "My mother-in-law and you are dead, and finally I am dead." Hearing this, the mother-in-law was livid and couldn't say a word. The bride said, "Mother-in-law, why are you still alive?"
10, an old lady in Putian sells sugar cane on the roadside. A bus stopped and a foreigner came to the old lady's booth to buy sugar cane. Just after weighing the sugar cane, the car started without paying. The old lady urged, "Come on, give me the money and I'll marry you." Outsiders were so scared that they didn't even take sugar cane, so they quickly got on the bus.
1 1. A country girl came to the supermarket, and the waiter greeted her warmly: "What do you want, miss?" The girl said, "I want your life (noodles), pig grandson (bamboo shoots)."
12, Chunhua met a friend who was shopping with her son. She hurried forward to say hello and praised: "This little wolf boy (boy) is really cute."
13, a rural primary school was having a class, and the teacher came into the classroom: "Stand (sit in) the class." The students said in unison, "It's good to be old and dead!" The teacher said, "Students, it's good to die early!" "
14, two country girls came back from the city. It's getting late. When they saw a truck coming, they waved to it. The driver leaned out and a girl said, "Comrade, can we be your wife (car)?" The driver said angrily, "Who wants you to be my wife?" Another girl quickly said, "It doesn't matter, we are very close." The driver was so angry that he drove away and thought, "Who will go with you?"
15, the village chief said at the villagers' meeting: "Rabbits, shrimps and pickles are too expensive, not pickles, but pig's trotters." Translate his dialect into Mandarin: Comrades and villagers, let's have a meeting now. Don't talk, but pay attention.
When my friends and I first moved, there was no TV at home, which was very boring. Let's pretend that there is a TV set on the desk, and then we can change the channel by pretending that we have a remote control. This son of a bitch keeps changing channels. I told him, but he wouldn't listen. Then we started fighting.
The teacher asked Xiaoming questions in class, but Xiaoming stood up without saying a word.
Teacher: Xiaoming?
Teacher: Xiaoming
Teacher: Xiaoming! What's the matter with you? Do you know the answer or not? At least let me know!
Xiao Ming: Zhi ~
Three rabbits shit.
The first one is only long.
The second one is just spherical.
The third one is actually triangular.
Asked, it replied: I pinched it with my hand.