Lead: "I like rainy days, I like to listen to the sound of rain hitting bananas, I like to watch roses swaying in the wind, and I like to watch your charming gesture of stroking your long hair in the drizzle." It won't kill you! " The following are funny quotations I compiled for your reading.

1. Parents fool their children into calling education; Children fool their parents and say that their parents are derailed; Fooling each other is called the generation gap.

Don't talk to me about feelings, it hurts money.

3. Love is putting your heart and soul into it, and then pulling it away!

The most contradictory place between lovers is dreaming about each other's future, but thinking about each other's past.

I was pulled out before I could flirt.

6. The hero is sad about the beauty pass, I am not a hero, and the beauty let me pass.

7. A man's brain likes a woman's heart, but his eyes like a woman's appearance.

8. Women like ugly men, and don't like ugly men.

9. Marriage is to wear cotton-padded clothes freely. It's inconvenient to move, but it will be warm.

10. Knowledge is like underwear, which is invisible but important.

1 1. I won't attack if people don't attack me; If people offend me, comity three points; If people force me again, I'll give you an injection; People still attack me and kill the grass.

12. I allow you to walk into my world, but you are not allowed to walk around in my world.

13. It's obvious that it's easy to hide, but it's hard to prevent it.

14. God didn't give me much responsibility, but it still made me heartache and tired.

15. I came quietly and left quietly, waving a dagger and leaving no one alive.

16. When will there be a bright moon? See for yourself.

17. Heroes don't ask for a way out, hooligans don't look at their age.

18. If the road is rough, just shout and go on.

19. There are no windtight walls and no hanging beams.

20. Confucius said: Sleepless at noon, collapse at noon! Mencius said: Confucius is right!

2 1. Grab your hand and drag it away! If you don't go, you will continue to drag on!

22. Is it necessary to be big? Dinosaurs didn't go extinct as usual!

Holding your hand, you will know that your child is ugly and your face is covered with tears. If you don't go, I will.

24. Red beans don't grow in the south, but on my face. True-acacia!

25. I am convinced that someone will come to this world because of my torture.

26. Journey to the West tells us that monsters with backstage are all picked up, and those without backstage are all killed with a stick.

27. What are you unhappy about? Say it to make everyone happy.

28. I like you so much that you will die.

29. Although you are wearing cologne, I can still smell a Z vaguely.

30. I curse you for buying instant noodles all your life without a seasoning bag.

3 1. How to lose weight if you don't have enough food?

32. My mother asked me if I had a boyfriend, and I said no. My mother said: I can have this, and I said: I really don't have this. ...

33. The ideal is full, but the reality is very skinny.

34. Lei Feng did a good deed without leaving a name, but everything was recorded in his diary.

35. I am not RMB. How can I make everyone like me? !

36. Besides teeth, there is love.

37. When life turned everything into black humor with malice, I got on the boat and turned myself into a highly educated hooligan.

38. Time is too thin and fingers are too wide.

39. The little girl dreams of finding a white horse. When they opened their eyes, they found that the whole world was a gray donkey. After they were heartbroken, they could only choose a strong one from the donkeys. In this way, the donkey was named: economically applicable person.

40. I'm going to cry. I'm going to make trouble. I stayed up all night, holding a bottle of sleeping pills and hanging myself with a small rope. No matter how ugly, you have to fall in love. When the world is full of love.

4 1. Our goal: Look at the money and earn more.

42. I am a passer-by who you turn around and forget. Why should I spend time with you on earth?

43. During the episode of intermittent depression, don't disturb strangers or find acquaintances.

44. Don't try to be brave after dark without medical insurance and life insurance. ...

45. I can't play chess, I can't paint and write, and I am too tired to wash and cook.

46. Say that money is evil and everyone is fishing; Say beauty is a disaster, everyone wants it; It is said that the height is too cold and everyone is climbing; Say that alcohol and tobacco hurt the body and don't quit; Say heaven is the best, don't go!

47. Bus crowding is a comprehensive sport including Sanda, yoga, judo and balance beam.

48. I knew you were a monster as soon as I opened my eyes.

49. Nobody loves you with your hands in your pockets.

50. Chop the wire with a kitchen knife, sparking and lightning all the way.

5 1. It's not difficult to be single, but it's difficult to deal with people who try their best to make you end being single.

52. What is happiness? Happiness is that you eat fish, I eat meat and watch others chew bones.

53. After studying for more than ten years, I think kindergarten is better!

54. They said I was BT and asked me to do CT, but I turned out to be ET.

55. My advantages are: I am handsome; But my shortcoming is that I am not handsome.

56. I am also the seed of infatuation. It rained ... and I drowned.

57. Nu Wa shoots every day.

58. Thank you, thank you uncle, thank you family, thank you ancestors eighteen generations!

59. I'm so pure, I'm a little shameless!

60. The year before last, we ate, slept, played and enjoyed life. In the following year, I worked hard to support my family; And in the last year, I squatted at the door every day and greeted passers-by …

6 1. gf, who just made friends with me, just decided to break up with me after a week of dating, just because I haven't read Octavio Paz's books and Borges' poems …

62. When I smile, my smile is full of bohemian temperament like a poet, but behind this bohemian, there is a delicate and warm emotion. When I am silent, I look up like a pure and graceful girl in the choir and a noble with a deep and elegant head. Yes, I am such a man who perfectly combines various seemingly irreconcilable qualities.

63. Since ancient times, there have been no charming mothers on the Internet. There are several pairs of mandarin ducks and perverted pheasants.

64. Teacher, wait, I will let the Buddha marry you!

65. Don't waste new tears for old sadness!

66. The wife is a big tree, and the lover is a grass. Planting a big tree is good for enjoying the cool, and raising a piece of grass is good for walking birds, which is a harmonious society and environmental protection.

67. Be a rogue with temperament, a pervert with taste, and an illiterate with knowledge!

68. Don't pursue the truth when you are confused … The truth is bitch X!

69. The party member activity of the Department of Mathematics forced girls to clean the boys' dormitory, which was really outrageous!

70. When I was a child, my parents always believed that when a girl reached the age of eighteen, the ugly duckling would become a white swan, and then she would marry a rich man and become a rich woman. One day when I grew up, my father looked at me intently and said earnestly, "Son, you'd better study hard ..."

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