A customer came, probably afraid that I would recommend products such as hair dyeing and perm care. As soon as he sat down, he said to me, "I'm pregnant, and there's nothing I can do about my hairstyle. I just need a little haircut." This sentence is so lethal that it blocks back what I have to say at once. I paused and said with an adoring expression, "Big Brother, I am convinced!" "

crazy

My wife just gave birth to a baby, and she was very anxious when she saw me. I quickly said, "The baby is healthy ..." Before I finished, she interrupted me, "Help the old lady up quickly, and I'll weigh it and see how much I've lost!"

morality

The coach came over and said, "You have a problem ..."

I suddenly got angry: "You have a moral problem! I will pour a car, who are you scolding! "

Holiday party

Have you ever driven a Ferrari, Maserati or Porsche? Tell me about the performance, and friends who have been to Dubai, Maldives and other places. Tell me about the detailed travel expenses and strategies. I will go home to attend a party during the Spring Festival. It may be used when chatting. Thank you!

cold joke

One day, Piggy Peggy cried and said to her mother, "Children say I look like a hair dryer."

Mother pig said sadly, "Be good, stay away from my mother next time, and don't blow my hair up."

wordless

My mother and I watched the news together, only to hear the host say, "A teenager made hundreds of thousands of yuan by using the Internet for a few days ..." My mother poked my head and said contemptuously, "Look at others!" Then, the host said, "But what awaits him will be legal sanctions ..."

express

My deskmate asked me, "Do you know the word' national treasure'?"

I hesitated to answer: "Panda?"

reason

The buddy said, "Get married quickly. Now I can be the best man while I still have hair. "

This is the most difficult reason I have ever heard to refuse to urge marriage.

Be considerate

After watching the game, I came home without a wife and meat. I was wondering when I saw a note on the dining table, which said, "Dear, I took the mutton to my mother to take care of it. I have a big family, so I'm afraid I can't bring it back. Then I will tell you the wonderful scene of eating mutton. "

Strong woman

Boudoir bought a car and put a big iron bar in the back seat. She explained: "Most drivers have bad temper now, so I am ready to defend myself."

When I got off work yesterday, she asked me to go upstairs first. When I wasn't looking, she pried the car into the parking space several times with an iron bar.

Do the exact opposite

Xiaoming complained to the teacher after receiving his summer homework: "This is too thick!" " "

The teacher said, "Really, how about I lose a quarter?"

Xiao Ming was ecstatic and nodded. I saw the teacher turn to the end and quickly tore up all the reference answers. ...

The field of lazy people

When I was a child, my father told me the story of "starving to death with a cake around my neck" several times. It seems that I am worried about becoming such a person. But I certainly won't, because I believe that science-automatic cake spinner will be born.

Encouragement and reward

The gym coach said, "There are activities in this center. Whoever successfully lost 5 kilograms this month will be rewarded with 50,000 yuan! "

I said, "Is it still too late to bring my sister to apply for a card?"

Coach: "In time!"

I picked up the phone and called, "Sister, is your due date this month?" Let me tell you something ... "