Quotations from Wu Zongxian's yellow jokes 1) Men eat and women sleep. If they don't eat or sleep, they will be scrapped immediately.
2) Businessmen don't hate their country, and prostitutes don't know about extramarital affairs.
3) Eat soft meals during the day and work hard at night; Men are not responsible, but also pay!
4) Women are not drunk and men have no chance; Men are not drunk, women have no tips; Men and women are not drunk, and no one sleeps in the hotel.
5) I can't give her happiness, but I can comfort her; I can't give it to her forever, but I can give it to her once.
6) I hate two kinds of people most, one is racist (others start cheering) and the other is black.
7) Small wealth depends on thrift, middle wealth depends on diligence, and great wealth depends on the sky!
8) People who spend money and people who make money can never be the same person.
9) The part that a man gives the most to his family is to sacrifice love.
10) Businessmen have no nationality and artists have no D status!
Wu Zongxian Classic Quotations 1) There are only singers and actors who became famous overnight, but there is no host who became famous overnight!
2) Men eat and women sleep. If they don't eat or sleep, they will be scrapped immediately.
3) It is comfortable not to wear underwear, and the person watching it is also comfortable.
4) People enjoy achievements at high tide and enjoy life at low tide!
5) Life always has ups and downs.
6) Time won't make people feel painless. Time just makes you get used to the pain.
7) Eat soft meals during the day and work hard at night; Men are not responsible, but also pay!
8) I can't give her happiness, but I can comfort her; I can't give it to her forever, but I can give it to her once.
9) Women are not drunk and men have no chance; Men are not drunk, women have no tips; Men and women are not drunk, and no one sleeps in the hotel.
10) I hate two kinds of people, one is racist and the other is black.
1 1) Stop-and-go programs, whether the host stays or not, only true friends can last forever!
12) True love comes only twice in a lifetime. When you realize this truth, the first time is usually over.
An artist is a commodity in itself. I pleased the audience. Why should I be trampled by others?
14) for politicians, NOnewsisgoodnews for people in the entertainment circle, Nonewsisbadnews.
15) Brother Xian: She made a mistake once. Dress too gaudy at work, your chest is low and your eyes are swollen. Her skirt with suspenders was exposed in the gap between her thighs, and her side split to the armpit.
16) If people are not spicy, unless they are spicy to the end, they are spicy to the highest point and spicy to the heart. It depends on whether you are hot or I am hot! Among them, the hot word can be changed into something else!
17) If your happiness is my pain, then pain is no longer pain. It is okay for me to suffer for you, and it is also happy!
18) a friend of mine is a mixed gang, and he is afraid of being hacked, so he has a turtle shell tattooed on his back? So every time I see him, I can't help touching his head.
19) How can a woman get a tip when a man is not drunk? How can a man have a chance if a woman is not drunk? Women and men are not drunk, how can anyone sleep in a hotel?
20) Very male chauvinism. Very big? It's tailored to the characteristics of one of my organs. You are older than me. I am longer than you, which means our program is very long.
2 1) mainland hosts are satisfied, just like hold? Hot pot? Do the show: I'm afraid I'll burn myself if I burn others.
22) You don't need to love a man, you just need to understand him, because men are animals. You don't need to understand a woman, you just need to love her, because women are crazy. Men are animals, while women prefer small animals.
23) Brother Xian said Aya: Actually, you should be told to shoot a ghost film, and people will come out, huh? No head, as soon as you come out, huh? No breasts!
24) Cheng Lin: I think many boys like eating grass again. Brother Xian: Why? The road is easier? Aya: We girls should be good horses. Brother Xian: No, we should do the grass well. If he goes back to Malaysia, don't give it to him.
25) Brother Xian: What do you do? Guest: Playing music at the funeral. Xian Di: Do you always blow by the coffin? Guest: Yes, it's next to him. Brother Xian: Did you thank the dead man for blowing him up?
26) Brother Xian: Which university did you study at? Guest: * * University. Brother Xian: Huh? Junior, junior. Cheng Lin: Brother Xian, where are you from * * University? Brother Xian: Yes. Colin: Did you go to school? Brother Xian: OK? Then I'll pass by.
Distance is the killer of love. Time hurts us the most, but it also heals me. Time won't make you painless. Time has only made me accustomed to pain and love, which is embellishment. Look at the stars in the sky, dotted like bright little eyes?
28) Cheng Lin: Do you know what the movie Spider-Man is called in Chinese mainland? Aya: What's your name? Cheng Lin: Spider-Man, chivalrous man. Brother Xian: Nothing. Spider-Man is Spider-Man. Do you know what Superman is called in Chinese mainland? Cheng Lin: Superman? Brother Xian: There are so many chivalrous men. Let's call them Superman!
29) A guest song, everyone is making trouble and following the chaos. Customer: Shut up! Brother Xian: Look, all your friends are singing around, but I didn't sing. Guest: Yes, good friends are like this. Brother Xian: No, when I listen to you sing, I cover my ears with my hands, and there is no microphone in my hand!
Brother Xian: Welcome Singapore guests now. How long will you stay in Taiwan Province Province? Guest: A week. Brother Xian: OK, I have opened many restaurants. Feel free to go to my restaurant, okay? Aya: It's all your responsibility, isn't it? Brother xian: no, it will be faster to serve food this way!
3 1) It is impossible for the wind to fall in love with clouds. I fell in love with you, which is the sorrow of my fate. Morning without coffee is like life without you. When I know what love is in my life, I know what sex is. Can you add I-N-G for me?
Brother Xian: Do you still have the habit of playing the cello often on an empty stomach? Guest: Yes. Aya: Why? Customer: Because the cello is played sitting? Brother Xian: Oh? Because once you eat too much, I'm afraid your posture will really pull out. It feels like a toilet.
Brother Xian: Do you know what black people don't like to eat? Cheng Lin: No idea. Aya: What is it? Brother Xian: Chocolate, because it will bite your fingers. Aya: Yes. Brother Xian: So what do yellow people dislike to eat the least? Aya: Is it a banana? Brother Xian: No, it's actually shit. Aya and Cheng Lin: Why! Brother xian: nonsense, who likes to eat shit! After a while, Brother Xian remembered something and couldn't help laughing: You two actually asked why you eat shit. Hey, boss, give me a catty of shit and bring me a knife and fork.
Wu Zongxian, a classic introduction about Wu Zongxian,1was born on September 26th, 962 in Tainan City, Taiwan Province Province, and is a singer and variety show host in Taiwan Province Province, China.
1987, Wu Zongxian's first Chinese album "Is it such a night that you will miss me like this?" was released. 1994, Wu Zongxian's first album "Sincerity for Desperate Love" was released and won the Golden Melody Award of the Year. On June 5438+ 10, 2007, Wu Zongxian was once again shortlisted for the 2007 TV Golden Bell Award with the CCTV variety "Party at Eight o'clock on Sunday"? Entertainment variety show host award? June 365438+1October 365438+20081October, Wu Zongxian won the 43rd Golden Bell Award after 20 years. 2011March 12, I returned to CCTV and started a new program "You guess, you guess, you guess." 2065438+July 2003 1, presided over "Variety Popular". In August, he became one of the judges of Super Successor. 65438+ 10 month, hosting "Two Days and One Night". Hosted "Variety is Great" on July 20 14. On June 26th, 20 15, I participated in the healthy entertainment sports program "Run Calories" produced by Iqiyi Life Studio.