Funny and healthy jokes (hot articles)
1. Guest: "Boss, my mobile phone is broken. I only bought it for three months. Please guarantee it for me. " When I picked up the phone, I saw that the phone case was missing. So I said, "Look at your mobile phone. Human problems are not covered by the warranty. " Guest: "I didn't do it artificially." Me: "Isn't it artificial that the mobile phone fell like this?" Guest: "It's really not man-made. I put my mobile phone on the balcony and was kicked downstairs by my cat. "
The collector said to his new wife, "After marriage, I hope you can have a hobby of collecting." Wife: "Of course, I collect bank cards and passbooks for our family and the elderly."
3. Earthquake, ordinary youth: earthquake, everyone's attention; Literary youth: Is there really an earthquake? ; Idiot youth: Fuck, who shook me just now?
4. I lost a bet with my girlfriend today, so help her soak her feet. She said she wanted to add some salt, so I added some. After thinking about it, I added some rock sugar, vinegar and medlar to the basin. Girlfriend: "Are you related to Chinese medicine?" I said, "No, I learned it from my mother." Girlfriend: "Does your mother often soak her feet?" Me: "My mother often makes trotters."
Whenever the deadline approaches, tell yourself and think about Zhuge Liang. Facing the project of 10w arrow, didn't you pull Lu Su to finish it all night?
6. In ancient times, there was a young lady who met a poor scholar and went to Beijing to take the exam to avoid the rain. The young lady prepared paper and ink and asked the scholar to write a poem. She found that the scholar was really talented, and Miss made a promise with her body. The next day, the young lady sent the scholar to dress in tears. If you are in high school, you will be ashamed. The scholar scolded 1 and left. Miss asked the maid to write down the scholar's name. The girl said that this is the fiftieth scholar. Miss said that if there is no way to diversify investment, there will really be one admitted to Jinshi.
7. "Don't try to reason with Aquarius. Basically, they all have their own logic, which is hard to convince. " "So what happens when two Aquarius men meet?" "Generally speaking, they will solve it by showing off their wealth." Five minutes later, a water bottle man said, "My treat."
8. A girl in the dormitory is usually an idiot. Once, this sister drank water with a cup, and then watched the whole glass of water spill on her. Everyone wants to know what happened to her. She calmly said: nothing, I forgot to open my mouth when drinking water.
9. China on the tip of your tongue, Brazil on your toes, America on your palm, and Japan on your hard disk. . .
10. Holmes and Watson are camping on the hillside! In the evening, Holmes woke up and woke Watson with his elbow: Watson, look! What is in the sky? Watson: A bright moon! Holmes: What does this mean? Watson thought for a moment, then said, well, the moonlight is good, there are no stars, and it should be cloudy tomorrow! Sherlock Holmes: Idiot! Our tent was stolen! Bao Zheng: Don't take it personally. The tent is still there! it is me ......
Funny and healthy jokes (classic)
1. The blockbusters to be released in the last month: College Entrance Examination, Mathematical Crisis 4, Panic of Thinking and Training 7, Computer Redemption, Accidentally Getting CET-6, Watching Modern History together, Harry Potter and Basic Physics, Harry Potter and Review Week, failed in the exam, unless you are sincere, don't take the exam, there is a god exam at home. 59466.68668666666
I have my parents and me at home. Go out every morning and go their separate ways, and arrive at the same destination at night. Dad is an architect, pointing at the construction site every day; My mother is a shop assistant. Every day, everyone comes to the store. I am a student, and I am in a daze in the classroom every day. When my grades were not good, my father fought with my roommate and beat me to the ground cruelly, but my mother stood by and never did anything brave.
3. According to the textbook, after the launch of Dongfanghong-1, the sound of "Dongfanghong" kept ringing, and the people of China shed tears with excitement ... Nima! Didn't you say that vacuum can't transmit sound? !
4. Psychological research has found that when people look in the mirror, their brains will make up automatically, so when they look in the mirror, they are not their real appearance, which is about 30% better than the real appearance. . . This is also the reason why many people feel different when taking pictures.
Using "none of my business" and "none of your business" skillfully can save 80% of life time.
The rich man took his silly son to visit the food factory. He said: The production line here is very advanced. When pigs go in, sausages will come out. The silly son asked: Is there a production line where sausages go in and pigs go out? The rich man said angrily, your mother is!
7. Why do many Hollywood movies make sequels, but few domestic blockbusters have "2"? Because 1 is enough for 2?
8. Zhan Zhao: "Teacher Bao, how did you get the crescent moon on your forehead?" Lord Bao: "Health." Zhan Zhao: "Can you uncover it?" Lord Bao: "I gave birth. Unable to uncover. " Zhan Zhao: "What if I take it off?" Lord Bao: "Is it a moment to witness a miracle?"
9. A buddy and his girlfriend take a bus, and his girlfriend is harassed behind a pervert. Without saying anything, the buddy leaned behind the pervert and began to touch the pervert? Damn it, it is said that that pervert is about to cry.
10. After several years of marriage, the wife is still proud of her figure. The wife said, "Look, your wife and I are still very beautiful in front, with cliffs on the side and bright flowers behind." The husband took a look and said slowly, "Yes, but your soil and water conservation doesn't seem so good?"
Funny and healthy jokes (selected articles)
1. A man died and went to the west. The Buddha said, "You have devoted your life to good. What do you want in the afterlife? " "I want a house." Buddha nodded. "Give me a good car." The Buddha nodded again. The man went on to say, "I still want to marry two rooms and three rooms!" " "The Buddha interrupted him:" Don't beat around the bush, just say you want to be a leading cadre! "
2. W: Really? Man: I'm everywhere! Woman: dizzy. Man: fainted in my arms. ! Woman: Huh? What's your name? Man: I didn't call. You didn't harass me. Woman: I asked your name. Man: My name is Nan Gong Ming Friend, or Nan Friend for short! Woman: Hehe, my friend. M: Please call me my full name boyfriend, ok? Woman: Come on, take advantage of me again. Man: You are not food in the market. Why should I take advantage of you? Woman: disgusting?
3. Half of the students in Hua Zheng are catching the other half, half of the students in Fudan are buying and merging the other half, half of the students in Caida are checking the accounts made by the other half, half of the students in Tongji are supervising the building built by the other half, half of the students in Jiaotong University are writing programs in shanzhai, half of the students in China Normal University are tutoring the other half's children, and the other half are making the other half's daughter michel platini. ...
4. Evil boyfriend. An alcoholic. We quarreled the other day, and even cheated drinks everywhere under the banner of breaking up with me. . . It's sad to tell everyone that my girlfriend and I broke up. Buy me a drink.
5. Husband and wife quarrel, wife: I should have listened to my mother not to marry you! Dave: You mean your mother stopped you from marrying me? The wife nodded. Dave slapped the table hard: I really misjudged her all these years!
6. A classmate who dropped out of junior high school. Asked me yesterday: Do you know how to get a tattoo? I asked: What's the matter? He said: Not long ago, I met a girl named Xia. She is so beautiful that she is hopelessly in love with her. She was willing to give everything for her, so she tattooed her name on her arm with ink, which hurt for several days! I asked: Then why should I wash it again? He said, damn it, I just found out today. It turns out that her name is "near and far".
7. Guan Yu, my fair lady in the Jianghu, what is your QQ! ! But let the dragonfly in. Come on, baby, don't be shy! ! A sister Lin fell from the sky, whether I am gay or not! ! ! Once the sea was difficult for water, what the fuck did you say! ! Birds in the tree make love in pairs every day! ! Stop, sit on the night of love and LAM Raymond, watch, listen and watch! !
My 8.3-year-old daughter has always had a beautiful dream for a white gauze dress. One day, she took her to a friend's wedding She not only walked around the bride, but finally said to her, "Aunt, your bridal gown is really beautiful. I'll come again next time you get married! "
9. Confucius' understanding of the college entrance examination: learning while taking the exam, isn't it? Isn't it a pleasure to be notified by fate from afar? I don't mind being rejected by others. Aren't you a gentleman?
10. If you are healthy, it will be a bolt from the blue.
Funny health paragraphs related articles:
1. Jokes about health
2. Jokes about health
3. Daily health-related jokes.
4. Funny jokes every day
5. Daily jokes about health