Mother-in-law talks about picture books from urine to scientific parenting. In the education of children, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have different practices. Daughter-in-law needs skills to make her mother-in-law accept today's parenting concept. The following is the content of my mother-in-law's picture book "From Peeing to Scientific Parenting"!

Mother-in-law talks about husband-wife relationship, parent-child relationship, colleague relationship ... every relationship needs to be managed, but the relationship between in-laws seems to have no choice but to complain.

And she, as a working mother, uses the rules of the workplace to turn her in-laws who poop into good in-laws who cook and read picture books for their children every day. How did she do it?

I often hear my friends complain to me that my grandparents still take care of their children in the traditional old way, and they have been told many times to raise their children scientifically, but they just don't listen. Or ostensibly promised, the same is true when the parents of the children leave.

Why put a book under the child's head and let him sleep on his back? Why add salt to the child's meal before the child is one year old? Why stand on his feet before he learns to climb ... Every family has a history of blood and tears of his in-laws.

There are a pair of obedient in-laws in my family. They match their children's three meals a day according to the five basket method (5 dishes, 4 staple foods, 3 meats and 2 fruits 1 milk).

Take your child for at least two and a half hours of outdoor activities every day; Read picture books to your baby every day; As for sleeping flat-headed, adding salt to food and helping to stand, it will not happen.

In fact, it's not the in-laws who listen to us, but they recognize the scientific parenting methods and will naturally practice them.

But do you know that when the child is seven months old, when the in-laws come to see the child for the first time, they still adhere to the rural parenting law of "urinating shit" and "feeding whenever and wherever the baby cries". Why have such earth-shaking changes taken place in just half a year?

See here for the method:

1, change your mind

It is our thoughts that determine people's behavior. Only by agreeing with them in thought can we do well in behavior. I don't agree with it in thought, but I did it in behavior. Only occasionally reluctantly, for a day or two, but never for long. In order for in-laws to change their concept of parenting, we must first change our views on in-laws.

Into what field of vision? Children are parents' children, not parents' children. It is parents' duty to take care of children, not parents' duty. Therefore, we should thank our in-laws for taking care of their children. Seeing this, you may feel cheated: it turns out that this is a chicken soup article!

No, it doesn't matter if you can't do it. Read on to my second "exclusive secret recipe". But if you can be grateful, you don't need an "exclusive secret recipe." Because of gratitude, all parenting issues have been discussed and measured, and all communication has become benign communication.

2. Venting is the key.

But you have to say, I have to go to work, and all the people in China take it for granted that my in-laws take care of the children ... but if my in-laws don't show you, will you have nothing to do? 4000 yuan a month is not enough to find a nanny. I'm not at ease yet.

It's too expensive to quit your job and take care of your children. In this sense, my in-laws keep our jobs and save expensive expenses every month.

Others say that my in-laws treat me badly and don't help me decorate my house. They didn't stew chicken for me for the next month, and they never cared whether the children cried at night ... forget it, forget it, forget it. You are not the worst.

Xu Ziqi, a Hongkong lady, had four caesarean sections, but she still chose a good day. There are no human rights, right? Is it miserable? We are much better than her, aren't we? How to have children? How many children should the whole family listen to our advice?

Just because my in-laws don't agree with us, we can't deny the fact that they are here now and they are taking good care of their children.

Can't we regard the whole world as dangerous and cold because of these pains? We can feel beauty and warmth, and we can bear pain and pain. Isn't this the world view we want to pass on to our children?

Love as if you have never been hurt. It's easier said than done. Just try it. Even if you really have a deep hatred, it doesn't matter if you can't do it for a while. Do not give up. Work with the following "exclusive secret recipe".

Exclusive secret:

Every day seems like the first day to see my in-laws.

Treat them like colleagues.

This is inspired by work and can be described as an exclusive secret skill.

For example, what would you do if a job had to be done with a colleague who was incompatible with your personality or difficult to work with?

I believe that everyone who has worked hard in the workplace will choose to put aside their emotions, just like meeting this colleague on the first day, because it is in our best interest, and our goal is to finish and do this work together. Conflict and confrontation are meaningless.

The same is true for the child-rearing of family members. Mom and dad and grandparents have essentially the same goal. Grandparents don't understand. Let's tell them.

If you meet a grandfather and help a child who can't climb learn to stand again, you must be thinking again: didn't I just tell you yesterday? It is too small to stand.

Stop, this is the first day to know grandpa, so tell him: dad: the child is still young, and his body can't bear the weight of standing. Standing up is harmful to his spine and knees.

In this case, there are no accusations and complaints, just objective statements and exchanges, and the acceptance is much higher. On the third day, grandpa helped the station, and you said this sentence without emotion. On the fourth day, grandpa still helped to stand, and you said this sentence without emotion.

2 1 day to form a habit. When you stick to this unemotional venting method for a month, you seem to be different from before.

You will be grateful when you see your in-laws carrying a baby and pushing a cart to the back of the park. Sometimes you don't eat at home, and when you get home, you will feel distressed to see your in-laws cooking a sumptuous lunch for your children while you are eating leftovers in the morning.

At this time, you have actually reached the first level and are grateful to your in-laws.

I finally understand that my in-laws love children as much as we do, and there is no problem that cannot be solved or communicated, because we are on the same front from beginning to end.

But this is a long process. Besides, many people, like me, can't control their emotions every time, and sometimes they can't help complaining. It doesn't matter, as long as you don't give up, it's only a matter of time.

For example, the mother-in-law's oral language is the last thing all mothers want to hear, "Your mother doesn't want you". I went to the bathroom and closed the door. Mother-in-law said, "Your mother is gone, and I don't want you";

I wore a coat to work, and my mother-in-law said, "Your mother left and didn't want you" ... One thing I often did during that time was to kneel down and explain to my baby that my mother didn't want you. She just went to the toilet, went to work, served dishes and washed clothes ... My mother always loved you.

Then I said to my mother-in-law, "Don't tell the child this, she will take it seriously. She can tell good from bad, but she can't express it. Speak well of her children. "

After a long time, my mother-in-law will feel guilty and blame herself for always forgetting, then we should also understand that "it doesn't matter, take your time" will pass.

My mother-in-law said it many times almost every day when the child was seven months old, but she stopped talking at all when the child was almost nine months old. It took almost a month and a half.

You need one or two achievements.

Show them what you can do.

There are always one or two events that become turning points. My turning point was that my children and I were weaned without any pain

I clearly remember that when my children were one year old and two months old, my in-laws came back from their hometown for the weekend, and I whispered to them (on the third day of weaning, the baby could not hear): "Candy is weaned, and these two days are more sensitive. Don't let mom feed them like this. "

My in-laws looked shocked, watching the baby playing with toys on the crawling mat, and then at me. They are all fine, without any pain. They find it incredible.

They are all so old that they haven't seen any mother weaning without pain. My mother-in-law relied on peppers in those years ... since then, they have been convinced of my parenting philosophy and methods.

In the final analysis, we should adhere to the principle that parents are the mainstay, supplemented by the help of the elderly, so that the elderly can see the effect of our scientific parenting, and then let them believe that those of us who have never raised children can raise children better through scientific methods.

For example, you have solved the problem that children with difficulties in the whole family don't like vegetables; The whole family gave up the problem of children falling asleep and had to "wait for flowers to bloom". You solved it ... and I believed in the diehard loyalty of the old people.

When they see so many problems that they can't solve by themselves, they will be convinced. After that, if you put forward any new ideas about parenting, of course they will listen.

There are a thousand Hamlets in a thousand people, and a thousand in-laws with different personalities in a thousand families. Every family should find a method suitable for their own family according to their parents-in-law's personality hobbies and temper characteristics. I believe that their parents-in-law who love their children as much as we do will definitely become practitioners of scientific parenting.

My mother-in-law talks about parenting from urinating to scientific parenting picture book 2, so it is inevitable that the older generation will get together and pay us to take care of the children according to their ideas. But after all, different ages and different ideas can't avoid contradictions and different ideas for educating children. Let me talk about what happened in my family:

The newborn baby needs to pee.

When Nuo Nuo was born, it was neither too hot nor too cold in May, but it rained a lot in May this year, so it was still a little cold. I kept telling my mother-in-law that it was too hard to wash diapers. Let's use diapers. But my mother-in-law seems to think I find it troublesome. When I stayed in Nuo Nuo for about half a month, because I gave Nuo Nuo urine,

As soon as I saw it, I quickly told my mother-in-law: the child is too young for my mother to do it. In that case, the child's anal canal will drop moles in the future, which will seriously affect the child's future fertility problems.

My mother-in-law seemed unhappy and said, I used to take care of my children like this. Don't you think you are so old when you are out of the month?

Well, I can't beat her, but in the back, I always watch Nuo take care of her alone.

But a few days later my mother-in-law mentioned it, and I was a little unhappy. The child is too young, and everything is developing. Is it good or bad for us to treat her like this? I'll find my mother-in-law who knows the information.

We should take care of children scientifically.

Here are some problems that are not conducive to your baby's urination:

1, not good for baby's spine.

The newborn's spine is straight, and it has not developed well. It will wait until 1 year old and develop to a certain curvature.

If the urine posture is incorrect, it will increase the risk of skeletal dysplasia, scoliosis and hunchback, which will affect the health of children throughout their lives.

2, the baby's sphincter is not exercised, but it is easy to urinate frequently.

Parents often pee their children, which will make them have a conditioned reflex to the instructions of adults. Second, bladder filling does not stimulate sphincter but reflects urination. Because there is no experience of holding urine, the bladder sphincter can not be exercised, which will lead to small bladder capacity, unable to hold urine, but easy to urinate frequently.

Grandma Zhang Silai also pointed out that because it is not easy to grasp the timing of urination, the pressure around the anus of children will increase for a long time, thus causing damage to the delicate anal sphincter.

3, it is not conducive to the development of baby's hip joint, and it is also easy to cause baby's proctoptosis and anal fissure.

Cui Yutao, director of pediatrics department of Beijing United Family Hospital, also pointed out that frequent defecation and exertion of infants, coupled with the relative relaxation of ligaments controlling anal sphincter, can easily lead to the phenomenon that rectal mucosa protrudes from anus, that is, proctoptosis. Rectum can also cause partial obstruction when the baby defecates, which increases the difficulty of defecation and easily leads to anal fissure.

The high incidence of hemorrhoids in China has a certain relationship with urine and urine at a young age.

4, bad for the baby's psychology

Think about it. I had a good time, but suddenly I was picked up and peed, and there were so many very secret accompaniment. Are you comfortable? Afraid?

Then I showed it to my mother-in-law. My mother-in-law said that she couldn't see clearly and couldn't read, so I read it to her patiently. My mother-in-law saw that my attitude was correct, so she didn't pee on the child.

While Nuo Nuo was away, we took Nuo Nuo for vaccination. My mother-in-law also said to her mother-in-law who urinated in the hospital: My daughter-in-law said that urine is not good for children, told those mother-in-law what I said, and said that she should raise children scientifically.

There are too many places for us to learn on the way with the baby. I don't know if it's terrible or not. The terrible thing is, if you don't study if you don't raise your child scientifically, then we will harm your baby for life.

Please have a look at the parents of the babies who are still peeing in the bar. Don't pee in the bar. Don't take care of the children blindly. If you really want to urinate your child, you have to wait at least 6 months later.