Letter from netizen: Sister Long: Hello! I have always cared about you, but I still can't see through my own problems after reading every article of yours. This is the so-called authoritative paradigm. I hope you can answer my questions in your busy schedule. I'm not bragging. I should be in good shape. I have an amazing face, fair and delicate skin, long legs and huge breasts. Practicing dance and piano since childhood has made me superior in temperament. When traveling, I was even specially invited to take pictures as the background. Not only that, I study very well. I have been a cadre since I was a child, and I failed in the college entrance examination and was admitted to a national key discipline of a university. I have a wide range of hobbies, whether it's beauty, weight loss, makeup, poetry and philosophy of life, or political affairs in the world, I can have a good chat with people ten years older than me, and even I know computer martial arts very well. Most non-professional boys of the same age don't know as much as I do. My friends say that I am a perfect person and I am confident in myself, so I have a high-profile nature. Although I have the intention of restraint, it is so natural that some people are dissatisfied. I dress in fashion, or sexy. Always show your collarbone and wear something deeper (not to the point of black silk miniskirt). My friend said that someone was talking about me behind my back, and I didn't adapt to the coquettish rumors. I have a straightforward personality, sometimes I speak directly and love pranks. I may be a bit "as good as my word", but I have a good relationship with most people, and there are many boys and girls at the level of girlfriends. Because of my good conditions, even if I was chased from elementary school, I always looked down on others and stayed single until I went to college. However, I don't understand. It's not an inspirational drama. Why does my handsome boyfriend always run away with mistress! The first boyfriend is a class grass figure, and we are recognized as class pairs, and we feel very good together. He was chased by many girls as soon as he entered school, but he fell in love with me at first sight during military training. It can be said that it was really sweet at first. Although Yingying was still flying around him, I was reluctant to turn my face because of the face of the same family. After all, I looked up and didn't see it, but I also felt inexplicable guilt. I always feel that I have robbed people of something they like. In retrospect, this idea is the biggest reason for giving people opportunities. He was my first love, but I'm not his. At that time, I was a little unbalanced, inexperienced for the first time, and very shy. I hope he can coax me into taking me away. But I asked him to invite me to dinner. He only invited me to the school cafeteria once, and I didn't want to invite him the second time. He thinks I'm rich. Why should I let him invite me? We are all children in big cities, and our families are well-off. I can accept this, men and women are equal, and I personally support feminism and do not exclude women from entering the family. It's just that I think love needs some concessions from men. He let me down, too. He was late and stood me up. I don't know whether it was intentional or spoiled. I arrived on time for my first date, but he kept me waiting for half an hour. At that time, I tolerated his lateness and believed his reasons, thinking that he was just dressed up and had no taste to correct. Later, I stood me up three times and five times, but I actually put up with it ... Besides, we lived a very happy life. Of course, now that I think about it, this may be my unilateral opinion. As mentioned above, I am inexperienced in love, so shy and pure that I dare not say a word to him in front of people, and I will sweat and blush when holding hands in private. But I really want him to hold on to me, or come and shake my hand again, but every time he just hesitates. Later, I don't know whose idea it was to let him send me his nude photos and return them to Yingying Yanyan, which made me red and angry. I had a big fight with him, so I ignored him. Later, I found out that instead of fooling me, he cheated on me. The object of cheating is a girl who has been chasing him since the beginning of school. The most important thing is that after he set foot on two boats, before the exposure, he chose to dump me ... analyzing the reasons, some people said that I was too shy to kiss, send text messages and not call my husband. Apart from the above two items, I think I have worked very hard. After all, I think it's too fast to call my husband and kiss someone I've known for a month, and he doesn't take me. It feels like an upside down. After writing the first article, please forgive me for rambling for a long time, although I overlooked some details. I hope Sister Long can give me some advice. My second term was a real big spring. That's not nice to say, but it's accurate. He made me feel "too safe" I don't think he will cheat anyway. As a result, my husband, who has not chased me for ten thousand years, was pried by a sister who only studied better than me after being with me for a month. I was with him in the opposition of ten thousand people, and everyone didn't think highly of us. I learned the last lesson and actively communicated with him for more than an hour every day. I especially don't like the library, because I only read and study in the library. I think it's shameful to fall in love in the library, but he especially likes to stay there. So one day, the girl took the initiative to talk to him, and then the two became close. One day, I found that a girl had been looking for him. He said it was his sister. The girl said that she thought he was warm and sunny (God, he was really depressed). He wanted to tell him everything, and he also told his sister everything. He said he had a girlfriend, and she said she just wanted to be his sister. Because I have many male friends myself, and the relationship is handled well, I don't exclude his heterosexual friends. He promised me loyalty, and I am also a person who absolutely believes in my boyfriend. As a result, the underground romance developed again, and I was out again. At that time, I will prepare for an important exam and tell him not to meet again. But he said he would give me a gift. He told me to close my eyes in a deserted place. The gift he gave me turned out to be a kiss. He didn't kiss me, so I felt something was wrong and covered my face with my hand. I'm angry about it. First of all, we have only known each other for three weeks, talked for two weeks, and haven't seen each other several times. Besides, he knows it's my first time and should ask my advice. Most importantly, I really feel that our relationship is much more than that. I finished the exam in a few days, and he sent me a text message to let me get back together. My exam was greatly affected by the breakup, so I replied to him, "You'd better prepare for the exam!" "Remind him not to fail the exam, lest he blame me again. But I may not have made it clear. When I realized it, the two of them United and left me hanging. Sister Long, what did I do wrong? Why do you always get dumped? Am I talking less to men? Then how should we communicate and what topics should we talk about? What kind of talent should I find to be happy? Xiaolong girl replied: let's analyze the reasons why two boyfriends dumped you first. First boyfriend. You think of yourself as "white". As a "class grass", he has a good family environment, so he must also think of himself as "Gao Fushuai". You feel good about yourself, and he must feel good about himself. You think you need to be coaxed and pampered by the other party, and presumably he also thinks you need to be coaxed and pampered by the other party. So you can't meet each other's needs of being spoiled, so he quickly found a girlfriend who can "catch up" with him and can be coaxed and spoiled. The second boyfriend. First of all, he tried to kiss you and was rejected, which brought a strong sense of frustration to men. Secondly, you once said, "I told you to leave me alone, why are you so annoyed!" " "This sentence is so lethal that even people with a little self-esteem can't stand it. No matter how good your reasons are, saying such hurtful things on sensitive occasions is equivalent to refusing. Then, why does this boy, who is "kind, rich in connotation and good at learning", stick a hot face on your cold ass? Of course, we must hurry to find that gentle and lovely girl, the girl who is active, knows that he has a girlfriend and is willing to live next to her "sister". Of course, the above are only superficial reasons. One of the fundamental reasons why you failed in love twice is that you feel too good about yourself, and the lines in the letter are full of shallow superiority and disrespect for others. For example, you said that the girl who chased her first boyfriend was "inferior to me in appearance, figure and voice in all aspects, and her overall quality was even lower than the average"-first of all, you have no right to judge others. Secondly, love can even learn her temperament through her appearance, figure and voice ... it doesn't matter. You also said that your second boyfriend is "a real hanging spring" (the meaning of this word can be understood by readers themselves, meaning "poor, short and ugly" from humble origins). Deep down, you look down on him and feel that you are condescending because of his affectation. This relationship can't last. The second reason is that you know nothing about love. Love is from the heart to have a good impression on a person, like him and want to be with him. Love should listen to your heart. Obviously, you don't like your first two boyfriends very much. For your first boyfriend, you said, "I feel inexplicably guilty." I always feel that I have robbed something that others like, just like the last toy left. Others really want to buy it, but the merchant gave it to me. Whoever is not in such a hurry to buy it, I don't want to give it to others. " For the second boyfriend, you say he, you stay with him because you feel safe and he won't cheat-this reason is even more ridiculous, just like buying a bicycle is not for the convenience of travel, but because it won't be stolen when you are old. Of course, you don't have to be too anxious. I don't think there is anything wrong with you except that you feel too good about yourself. Your boyfriend is also responsible for your two failed relationships. You should be very young, eighteen or nineteen. When you were in college, it was the golden age to try to communicate with the opposite sex and improve your emotional intelligence. At this age, few people really know what kind of opposite sex they need and what kind of opposite sex suits them. Once unsuccessful, twice unsuccessful, maybe three or four unsuccessful ... this is normal. Getting to know yourself and the opposite sex gradually through constant "trial and error" is the only way to find true love and enter marriage. Friendship presents some suggestions for your future love: 1, kinship terms and holding hands, kissing and further intimate contact can only be carried out at that stage of emotional development. You don't have to make out with your boyfriend. Don't limit yourself to holding hands for three months, kissing for six months and so on. These two extremes are ridiculous. In short, see if you want it in your heart. 2. Boys who are often late for dating and stand you up can be kicked out long ago. 3. "Chasing" is not shameful. Both men and women, pursuing the people they like, are aboveboard. If he is the right person, just be himself. 5. "White" is not the reason why you must be lucky. No one can guarantee that Bai can go out without stepping on shit, or that he won't eat flies in the noodle bowl. Check the original ""(This article Source: Netease Women)