I know I'm ashamed. My mother has been telling me stories in my ear for as long as I can remember. My grandparents never went to the hospital when she gave birth to me. When my father knew it was a girl, they turned and left.

I don't know how I understood it at that time. In a word, I feel as if I am particularly unpopular. When my mother is in a bad mood, she will tell me his story and tell me again and again how much influence I have had on her.

I feel sorry for my mother, just as I feel sorry for myself. I hope I am a boy and change my mother's and my own destiny. At the same time, I don't like myself so much, and I have a sense of shrinking since I was a child.

When I was in junior high school, a classmate said to me, Wow, you are so beautiful. At that time, I will be a little happy, but at the same time I will be very skeptical, because I don't believe that I am beautiful in my heart.

I know I love beauty, and I love being affirmed by others. This kind of hope to be affirmed is very strong, but the idea of not believing in yourself is also very strong. These two tangled States make me unable to really enjoy the satisfaction brought by either side.

My mother didn't like dressing me up when I was a child. I often have short hair like boys, and my clothes are left by my two sisters. My evaluation of myself is as low as dust.

Then an aunt wanted me to be her goddaughter. She bought me a lot of hair bands and beautiful hair clips, and told me to keep my hair long and braid it. I experienced the feeling of beauty for the first time 1. She dressed me up and bought me a beautiful watch ... at that time, she felt that she could be beautiful.

But because I am not sure about myself, I feel ugly. When I was in junior high school, I liked to constantly look for certainty from others. Do you think I'm beautiful? Do you think this dress looks good on me? ... I feel particularly insecure about myself.

After listening to this lesson today, the biggest feeling is that the power of submission is enormous. This is the power of acceptance. Accept the reality, such as I am slightly fat and have thick legs, so that I can say to myself, yes, this is me. If you want to be slimmer, you can exercise. If you don't want it, you can keep it. There is no need to attack yourself 360 degrees all the time. In this world, everything has its reason, and so does my obesity.

One day I want to lose weight, then I will say to myself, well, let's go running and lose weight, which is also possible. In short, don't wander between two ideas, waver between two very contradictory ideas, and do yourself great harm.

Accept yourself and be obedient to everything in the present!