Comments on the first draft:
The title of the paper is basically the same as the content of the paper, the structure is basically complete, the language is fluent, and there are no major grammatical errors. The problem is that there are too many full-text quotations and too few analyses, and some "analyses" have traces of plagiarism. It should be said that the materials needed to complete this paper are already available, and the author can analyze and summarize the materials on this basis and draw his own conclusions.
Comments on the second draft:
On the basis of the first draft, some improvements have been made, such as merging some unnecessary paragraphs, redrawing the titles of some chapters in the paper, modifying some sick sentences and correcting mistakes in references.
The new revisions include: the first sentence of the abstract, the replacement of key words, and the further explanation of "Superman" which influenced Jack London's life and embodied in his work The Call of the Wild. Some confusion in tense usage needs to be corrected. There are too many quotations and too few comments, and some references are not mentioned at all in the article, which is a difficult problem to solve. It is pointed out that London is a so-called superman and Buck is a super dog to illustrate the relationship between them and the influence of the author's life on his works.
Final review
The title of the paper is basically the same as the content of the paper, with complete structure and fluent language. Even the first draft, except that the paragraphs are too thin, there are not many serious grammar or spelling mistakes. The author tries to find a connection between the author and a character in Jack London's life. From the content point of view, the author has a better understanding of the original work and collected relevant materials, but only limited to the list of materials. How to draw your own conclusion by analyzing the materials is the purpose of this paper, and it is at this point that the author's efforts are not enough.
[Example 2]
Comments on the first draft:
The content involved in this paper has certain guiding significance for solving the internal cultural conflicts of multinational companies. The discussion was full and clear. In the contrast between eastern and western cultures, the author gives many interesting examples, but there are few examples in China. Most examples of oriental culture are taken from Japanese culture, which is a big defect. Another disadvantage is that the level of the article is too thin, almost natural paragraphs, and it is even more confusing if you don't read it carefully. There are many mistakes in printing format, spelling and wording, especially in the second half of the paper. The reference section still lacks the location of the publishing house.
Comments on the second draft:
It has been greatly improved on the basis of the first draft. Most of the major problems have been solved. In particular, the first draft has some shortcomings, such as the level is too thin and there are no examples of China culture. Many language mistakes have been corrected, but there are still some mistakes pointed out last time, such as courses and reasons. There are still some minor problems in the arrangement of references. The introduction still doesn't indicate the source.
Final opinion:
The structure of the paper is complete, and each part basically conforms to the English paper writing norms. The author tries to analyze the cultural conflicts in multinational companies from the perspective of cultural comparison between East and West, and find ways to solve these conflicts. In order to write this paper well, the author obviously consulted a lot of information, which was fully discussed and clearly organized. Unfortunately, because the author herself has no working experience in multinational companies and has not made corresponding investigations in multinational companies, her discussion can only be based on second-hand materials obtained from reading, and the so-called oriental culture is mostly represented by Japanese materials. To solve the cultural conflicts of multinational companies in China, readers need more cultural contrast between China and the West. Although the author added some in the later draft, there are still some shortcomings.
[Example 3]
Comments on the first draft:
The title of the paper is very good and creative. The author studied Maslow's psychological theory and Jack London's original works. The main problem is: 1: I don't know much about the format of English papers, and the introduction part is both a chart and a chapter. There is no conclusion behind the paper, and the arrangement of references is not standardized; 2. The wrong view is that the theory of human psychology is also applicable to animals. In fact, the dogs in Jack London's works are anthropomorphic to some extent, and they are superhuman or super dogs that embody the so-called will to power. In addition, there are some grammatical mistakes.
Comments on the second draft:
The author made a more serious revision on the basis of the first draft. This paper has been greatly improved in content and form. Two flowcharts downloaded from the Internet that have little to do with the content of the article have been deleted. Part of the preface has been moved to the text as required. The conclusion part has been added, although the content needs to be enriched. Some references have been rearranged, but there are still some irregularities.
Final opinion:
The title of the paper is very good and creative. It is understood that the author came into contact with Maslow's psychological theory in the study of business English. I first read The Call of the Wild by Jack London in my sophomore English reading class. In order to write this paper well, the author has done some research, especially the original work of Jack London. It is not difficult to see from the author's quotation of the original work that she is quite familiar with the content of the original work. The author has a serious writing attitude, and can complete the research and writing plan of the paper in stages according to the requirements of the school and the writing progress drawn up by himself in the opening report. Once the mistakes in the first draft from form to content are pointed out, the author can take them seriously and revise them repeatedly. Although the language is still a little immature, the paper is clear-headed, well-founded, unique and has certain reference value, which is a good article.
First, the topic of this paper is reasonable. Regional economy is a hot topic in economics, and agricultural economic growth is also the focus of current discussion. In recent years, many experts at home and abroad have made many mature discussions on this, and some experts and scholars in Xinjiang (such as Gao Zhigang and others) have conducted in-depth research on Xinjiang's regional economic problems, but have studied the combination of Xinjiang's agricultural regional economy and its growth. No special discussion was found. How to understand the present situation and future trend of regional economic differences in agriculture in Xinjiang and promote the healthy and sustained growth of agricultural economy is an urgent problem to be solved in economic reality, and it is also the significance of this paper.
Second, the data is accurate and the analysis method is properly selected. The opening report can be based on the reality of Xinjiang, collect a lot of data, select advanced analysis methods (cluster analysis, principal component analysis, B-J prediction, R/S analysis, nonlinear regression), do a lot of simulation experiments with the help of statistical analysis software, and analyze the current situation and influencing factors of regional economic differences in Xinjiang agriculture based on relevant regional economic theories.
Third, the combination of qualitative analysis and quantitative analysis makes the conclusions and suggestions more reasonable. This paper focuses on the theoretical basis and qualitative analysis of the model analysis results, and makes a trial calculation and rational analysis of the selected analysis methods in the writing process. The research results of agricultural regional differences in Xinjiang are consistent with the reality and related research results, and the suggestions put forward are more targeted and operable.
This paper is correct in topic selection, reasonable in structure, rich in content, sufficient in data and materials, advanced in analysis method, reasonable in writing progress, and the conclusions and suggestions have regional practical significance. The recommendation is an excellent graduation thesis at the university level.
The topic of this paper has strong application value, and the literature is collected in detail, and the learned knowledge is comprehensively used to solve the problem. The secretary obtained is reasonable, the conclusion is correct and there are innovative opinions. In addition, the format of the paper is correct, the text is standardized, the organization is clear and the language is fluent.