When you live in society as a natural person, you consciously or unconsciously want to become a social person, which is not whether you want to decide. Assimilate or be assimilated by society. At this time, we need to learn humor. I collected some for you. Come and have a look with me.

Careful selection

1 "In a physiology class, a female teacher said after class," Students, if anyone still doesn't understand, please raise your hand, and the teacher will answer your's question. "After a while, a male classmate raised his hand and asked the female teacher with a serious face:" Teacher, is it more comfortable for men and women? "Or are women more comfortable?" The female teacher thought for a moment and said, "Is your nose comfortable when you dig with your hands?" Is your hand still comfortable? "Male students thought, well, this nose is really comfortable! Sit down. The female teacher then asked, "Students, if you still don't understand, please raise your hand and ask questions, and the teacher will answer them for you." There was silence for a while, and then the male classmate raised his hand and asked the female teacher, "Teacher, when men and women are * * *, it is very comfortable to wear condoms, and ..."

At the beginning of this semester, a girl named "Peace" in the class was transferred from another school. There is an extra member, and all the students welcome him with both hands and feet, but this name is the same as that of a boy named "Peace" in the original class. Although there are still some differences in writing between the two, it is inevitable that there will be misunderstandings when calling the roll. A class meeting was held to discuss how to solve this problem. Students, you said it word for word. "This little problem is easy to solve, just change a name." "If you change your name, you can't change it." "In fact, you don't have to rewrite the law, just change your name." Everyone agreed to change the name only, so the discussion began again. ......

Like most countries, in the Federal Republic of Germany, schools are getting bigger and bigger. Nevertheless, most principals still think it is important to know the names of all the students in the school. At a meeting, a headmaster recognized one of his former students. "Oh, you are Mr. Vino Milo, a student in the class, right?" "Indeed, Mr. President." The young man replied. "You see, I have never forgotten the names of any old students." The headmaster said proudly, "What are you doing now?" ......

On this day, a note was posted on the door of the school canteen: "Lost and Found: I found a wallet in the teacher's apartment, and there was some cash in it ..." "I looked at it the next day, only to find that the title of this message changed to" Don't take it from the teacher "! "

The anatomy teacher is not wonderful in class, and few people listen in class. It's basically QQ, WeChat and games. Just now, just now! ! He said, students, pay attention, I will say a word, hand in your mobile phone after class, and the remaining battery of your mobile phone is the final exam result of your! * * *, this is the rhythm to kill us!

6 "Hello, scum!" "Top students are born well!" "The scum have worked hard!" "At the bottom of the school!"

One day I will see a wonderful test paper, which reads as follows: "I can't teach, and you don't need it in the future." As a result, the teacher opened the second page, which read: "Teacher, you don't believe me ..."

John is a clever boy. His grades are not very good, but he has a unique view on everything. Once, the teacher asked a psychologist to test him. The expert asked bluntly, "Whose works are Romeo and Juliet?" "How should I know!" John replied coldly, "at my age, I can't read Shakespeare."

In geography class, the geography teacher asked the students, "What will happen during the solar eclipse?" "Everyone ran out to see!" The students answered.

The teacher 10 asked George, "Do you know what is the king of beasts?" George replied, "Yes. It is Tom's father. " "Why?" The teacher is not satisfied with this answer. "Because his father is the director of the zoo!"

1 1 Xiao Guangfu is fidgeting in kindergarten. The teacher warned him many times to concentrate, but he always sat on the stool and swayed from side to side. The teacher asked him angrily, "Guangfu, why are you always fidgeting?" What are you happy about? " "yes." Guangfu said, "Dad promised to buy me a motorcycle when he waited for me."

12 once the bell rang and everyone had to go home. When I went down the stairs, my left foot stepped on my right foot, and a big font fell in the middle of the road. . I thought at that time: no way, it's so embarrassing, I pretend to be dizzy. As a result, the classmates next to me saw me motionless, quickly helped me up, and then slapped me …

13 The teacher gave a national defense education lesson to primary school students and asked them what weapons they knew. Many children answered: Pan. ...

14 I wish I had a top student, and I will never leave you. Take me to self-study and brush 1000 questions a day. Review CET-4 and CET-6 and give me the questions. Sit next to me in the examination room and help me take off one. He got 98 and I got 97. Good friends exist year after year, and generation after generation will not be separated!

15 In the dormitory of the university, there are two boys who are very good brothers. A few days later, a boy made a girlfriend, a beautiful woman in his class. One day, the boy bought a pair of underwear for his girlfriend online. After the delivery, the boys inspected the goods in the dormitory. Another boy saw it and said, "doesn't she have it?"

16 "when the teacher was correcting the paper, he found that a student explained the text like this: after years: too long, the moon ends." The teacher frowned. Soon he found another student's answer: the Chinese New Year is too long, even the moon is tired. "

17 The fifth-grade composition teacher assigned a composition topic "Come with me". A girl named Xiaomei in the class wrote: ... The weather is fine today. I take my children to the park to play. I'm driving the limousine my husband bought me, with a big diamond ring on my finger and a gold chain he gave me last month around my neck. I took my lovely children for a walk in the park, and people everywhere envied me. Suddenly, a smelly, muddy and homeless old lady rushed out of the road. I looked at it carefully. Oh, my God! She used to be my Chinese teacher in grade five.

18 there is a Chinese class in junior high school, and the last class is studied. The teacher read the text to everyone first, and read the last paragraph: "... class is over, you can go." A classmate was sleeping at that time. Hearing this, he rushed out of the classroom with this bag, and the whole class laughed. ....

19 The old man who teaches chemistry is nearsighted. After finishing writing the blackboard in class, he suddenly turned to me and shouted, What are you standing for? ! Sit down! ! I sat in the last seat, and my coat hung on the wall behind me. ...

I have a crush on a handsome boy who practices Sanda in my class, and I don't know how to hint. One day, I got up the courage to say, "On the evening of xx, xx, under the third tree in the playground, be there or be square." His notes are sandwiched in the textbook. Shy, I didn't sign it. That day, I waited gracefully under the tree. The handsome boy came, followed by a group of figures. The moonlight was bright, and the handsome boy saw the figure under the tree and shouted, "Did you write the challenge book? ! "。 . . .

2 1 day, I will be demoted from Sri Lanka, so I must steal its qq, seal its Weibo, take its computer and impound its mobile phone first, so that I can concentrate on my studies and not fail!

selected works

1 weekend, the whole class went to the zoo. A gorilla sat behind the railing gloomily and looked at the front without moving. No matter how much we tease it and talk loudly, it always turns a deaf ear, like a magnet. Some people say that they are blind? Some people say smart people? Suddenly, the gorilla "brushed" his eyes, and we looked in the same direction: not far away, a young girl, dressed in fashion, was coming slowly. . . . .

A beautiful woman went to Chanel and found an ultra-low-cut evening dress. She tried it on at once. After coming out, she asked the shopkeeper and boss if this dress was too low-cut. Boss: Excuse me, Miss, do you have chest hair? The beauty said angrily, what are you talking about? Why do people have chest hair? Boss: That's really too low.

The person in charge of the beach implicitly said to a beautiful woman who wears three points: "We are not allowed to wear two swimsuits here." The beauty replied, "OK, which one do you think is more suitable for me to remove?"

A maintenance man came to repair the TV set, and there was only one very sexy woman at home. The maintenance man kept looking at the woman while repairing the TV. After the repair, the woman said to the repairman, "I have an embarrassing request." Can you promise me? " The repairman vaguely felt something and said "yes" again and again. The woman went on to say, "The thing is, my husband is very weak, so I can't refer to him for some things. You see, you are a man and I am a woman ... In fact, I noticed your strong body as soon as you came in ... "The population was almost out of water and couldn't wait to say," Let's get started! " ......

A man went to visit his best friend, and only his beautiful young wife was at home. He lured her to sleep with him with lust and fear at the price of giving her yuan. She thought about it, thought it was a good deal and the money was easy, so she really slept with him. After dark, her husband came back from work and asked, "Did Fadi come here today?" "Yes, why do you ask him?" She answered guiltily. "Did he give you yuan?" "What? Yuan? " She was in a panic. "hmm!" The husband said, "I lent him 100 yuan last month and promised to pay me back today."

A newly-married soldier wrote to his wife: "If you are free this weekend, please come here. I need someone to accompany me. I need money. Please bring RMB when you come. " . Please send Yuan if you can't come. "

7 nights, my husband went to the bar to be chic. My wife is upset at home, it's almost two in the morning, and my husband hasn't come back yet! My wife sent a text message: "Come back and hand in your homework!" "I won't explain what it means to hand in my homework, but I still haven't responded for a long time. My wife couldn't help calling and found that the phone was turned off! My wife is so angry! At this moment, suddenly a strange number sent a message: I got your homework!

A man who left work early came home to find his wife in bed with a strange man. He said angrily, "You bastard, I will make you pay for this." The strange man replied: "nonsense, I paid when I came in, and I won't break the contract!" " "

A truck driver complained to the female toll collector at a national highway toll station: It's too tiring to climb two mountains to reach you. The female toll collector said: It will be even if it goes down a little. The driver said: Is there any grass next? Female toll collector: @ # [Email? Protected] # [Email? Protected] #

10 A man saw a beautiful female nurse and dreamed and said, "Miss, can you lift your skirt? I can give you money. " Miss, lift the skirt a little and get it. "Miss, would you please raise it a little higher?" Miss, raise a little more and get it again. "Can you improve it a little?" , the man said. The lady replied, "don't you just want to see the place where women give birth?" You always give me yuan so that I can show you enough. " ......

1 1 Mother and daughter took a taxi through the city center. My daughter caught a glimpse of some enchanting women standing on the street corner and asked her mother, "What are they doing?" "They waited for their husbands to have dinner together after work." Mom replied. "Oh, my God!" The taxi driver couldn't help interrupting: "Madam, you should tell the truth." They are in * * *, waiting for customers to visit! "* * * will have children? "The daughter asked her mother curiously." "Of course," my mother replied grumpily. Otherwise, who will be the taxi driver? "

12 There is a man driving a sports car with his girlfriend. The woman got up and said to the man, "If you drive to one hundred and fifty, I will put on my clothes." Man: "What's wrong with that!" After that, she slammed on the accelerator and drove to 180. The woman really put on her clothes. Just then, an accident happened and the car overturned. The man was stuck in the car and couldn't get out, so he told his girlfriend to go for help. Woman: "But I'm naked!" ! "Man:" Then I'll lend you a shoe, and you cover it in the key position. "So his girlfriend ran to the community for help according to her shoes. When she arrived at the gas station, she was out of breath and said to the younger brother at the gas station, "Quick … help me … my boyfriend, he … is stuck in it and can't get out!" "! !" ......

13 A person died and went to hell, where it was very hot. But he saw a beautiful beauty in hell with a bottle of wine beside him. He turned to the little devil and said, "Hell is so beautiful, with wine and beautiful women." "You only know one thing," said the kid. "I don't know anything else. There is a hole in the bottom of this bottle of wine. You can't drink it, but that beautiful woman doesn't. "

14 a: since my girlfriend went on a business trip, my back is not sore, my legs are not soft, and I don't even doze off at work every day ... b: since his girlfriend came on a business trip, my back is sore and my legs are weak, and I doze off at work every day. ...

15 As soon as a person enters the clinic, he eagerly says to the doctor, "Doctor! Please help me! I really can't stand the pain! " The doctor couldn't help being surprised: "My God! How did you fix your nose? Swelling like a' male treasure'! " The patients were ashamed to say, "Hey! In order to do that, I ate a few more viagra! " Doctor: Wow! How could this happen! ? Tell you what! Please invite your' friend' out and let me have a look. # "That man did it. After seeing it, the doctor said with great certainty, "I said, you will eat more at first, so it's not that place!" "

16 Regarding the decision on punishment of Brother Sheng for farting, it was decided through research that Comrade Sheng was given the following punishment: 1. After farting, stay alone until the fart smell disappears; Second, take off your pants before farting, and then fart; Don't tell me before farting, eat a catty of peas after farting. That's it! Housing Committee

17 A man kissed a strawberry on his girlfriend's neck and was seen by his seven-year-old niece, who said, "Aunt, what happened to your neck?" Embarrassed answer: "bitten by a dog." The niece said in surprise, "Ah? Then if you have an injection, you will get rabies. " Anonymous calmly replied, "Yes, I just called last night!" " Do you know anything about seconds?

18 There are two young couples who haven't been married long. Although there is no car under the ass for the time being, it has become an essential habit for couples to soak in the jar of the automobile age after dinner every day. Sticking, pouring water, doing things, patting bricks ... car knowledge is increasing every day ... it's getting late, wash and sleep. After the couple went to bed, they began to get warm. Wife stroking her husband: Why is the paint of domestic cars so rough? Husband stroking his wife: You are also a joint venture car, only metallic paint. The wife couldn't wait and touched her husband's ass. Wife: Why aren't you on the road? Don't worry, it's a cold start. It is necessary to preheat the car after ignition. Wife: Didn't you read that post just now? Experts say that it is not good to preheat the car in place after ignition! Husband: That's not comprehensive. No one should step on the gas like you. Get into the habit of "hot car" every time you start. Sticking to the original hot car for a few minutes, after full lubrication, is of great benefit to the service life of the car. ......

19 One day, a boy had just finished foreskin surgery, and a female nurse was preparing to remove his stitches and change his medicine. The patient said to the sister of the female nurse, slow down, slow down, it hurts a little. Sister nurse said humorously: Do you enjoy this process? How else can you tell me to slow down? I couldn't help laughing when I saw the patient's embarrassed face.

At three o'clock in the morning, the doctor's phone rang. "hello?" The other end of the phone was furious: "doctor, our baby just swallowed a condom." The doctor said, "Take him to the hospital, and I'll meet you there in ten minutes." He got dressed and was about to go out when the phone rang again. He picked up the phone. "hello?" A very calm voice came from the other end of the phone: "It's all right, doctor, we have found another one, so I won't bother you." Girls and boys love each other and their feelings are getting stronger and stronger, but they never cross the line. The girl had no choice at first, so she gave the boy a delicate condom as a hint. Unexpectedly, the guy broke up the next day. The girl was heartbroken and regretted it. At this time, the young man was complaining to his buddy: This woman is so talented that she wants to break up without telling me directly. Sending a broken balloon implies that I was blown, md, and it was blown.

2 1 The university has a very good relationship with a girl. Every time I send her back to the dormitory, she always gives me a hug when I go upstairs, because graduation will definitely separate the two places, and we have not said anything. In the first year of graduation, the whole class got together and we hugged each other intimately. I said, "You haven't changed a bit after working for a year, and you are still so beautiful!" " She giggled for a while and said, "You've changed a lot, and now a hug won't poke me!" " "

Son, you really gave your father a long face. You can't take the exam, can you Why write couplets on the test paper? The first part: It is too difficult for my son to write the questions. Bottom line: Sun Tzu's invigilation is too strict. Horizontal criticism: I won't. Your head teacher invited me to the office. I smiled when I saw the test paper. The teacher stared at me!

23 "Old Baby" I asked my husband, "You call me baby now, and when we have children, you call me baby, so what do you call me? The husband replied, "Old baby. "Wind, rain! My husband talked about his experience of marrying me: "Wind, come on; "Rain, come on; Let the storm come more violently! So, my wife is here. " And rice. My husband never likes rice. I'm very sad. He ate steamed bread at night and said, "With jiaozi, I will never eat steamed bread again." With steamed stuffed buns, I will never eat oil cakes again; I definitely don't eat steamed bread if there are oil cakes; With steamed bread, I will never eat rice again; There is rice ... I'm sorry. "As soon as Prince Toad's husband drinks, I get angry:" If we drink any more, we will divorce! "! Toads with three legs are hard to find, and men with two legs are all over the street! ~ "The husband said," I am your legendary toad prince. Is it hard to find a three-legged toad? Congratulations! You found it. " ......"

Xiaoli, a colleague and employee, fell asleep at her desk at noon. A few male colleagues are watching the football league on their mobile phones. Everyone shouted, "shoot, shoot!" ! "Xiaoli woke up from her sleep and shouted," Don't shoot in there "... At that time, everyone was cheated. . .

collected works

1 I was watching TV on the sofa, and my wife sat on my lap wrapped in a bath towel and said in various ways, "Grandpa, you want a little girl, don't you?" I deliberately couldn't sit still: "No, uncle, I have no money today!" " "Wife:" What money is not money, just make the little girl happy, and make up an iou afterwards! ""I'm dizzy ~ ~ ~ I still owe money for this matter! I lifted my wife's chin in one hand and jokingly said, "Come on, girl, sing me a song!" " My wife patted my hand: "guest officer, please show some respect, little girl, I only sell my body, not my art!" " "Shocked ~ ~ ~ this hit the gun! After taking a shower, I lay in bed reading a book. My wife came out of the bathroom and a hungry tiger jumped on me. She said coldly, "Hey, my little brother looks good, little girl. I want to try something fresh today!" " I fought to the death. Seeing that I was disobedient, my wife gently turned around and said, "Grandpa, did you follow that little girl?" I said, "Give me a reason first!" The wife looked back cunningly: "My little girl just got out of prison and hasn't eaten meat for several years!" " "My mom ~ ~ ~ ~ this reason is very good, there is no reason not to obey! ......

A man lives in a hotel. When he went upstairs by elevator, the elevator stopped at the first floor and a beautiful woman came in. He was stunned and kept looking at it. Beauty: "What's there to see? I haven't seen it, have I, hillbilly? " He replied, "Yes, nothing. My wife has a set of pajamas just like yours. "

3 "You are finally online!" "yes." "We have delivered the inflatable doll you bought yesterday, but we are out of stock of the Fan Bingbing version you want online, so we sent you the Xifeng version, but you can rest assured of the quality and the price. The goods have been delivered by express, dear, remember to give you a good comment! "

Before his son got married, his father shyly taught him that you would be above and she would be below. On their wedding night, the bride saw that the new bed had been replaced with a bunk bed.

Keane asked his girlfriend, "Am I the first man to have sex with you?" "Yes, you are the first. Other men are straightforward and never procrastinate. "

When I went to Canton Fair with a colleague that year, I was often harassed by a lady on the phone at the hotel. Very annoying. By chance, we found the room number of the lady who called us. It is estimated that she booked a room in the hotel and then harassed it with an extension, so we naturally knew the extension number of the lady. Many hotels use room numbers to arrange extension numbers. So one afternoon we were harassed again: "Do you need a young lady?" After refusing, we were filled with indignation, so our colleague dialed the phone back. It was that lady who answered the phone just now. Colleagues solemnly lowered their voices: "Do you need a gentleman?" . It is estimated that the young lady has never encountered such a situation. After a pause for a few seconds, she said angrily, "Yes, I want you!" " ......

At the school meeting, the subject director made a final summary: "In short, I hope that no matter where you are, you must remember that you are a student of our school, and you must never smoke while walking, wear shorts in the classroom, or even talk about indecent topics in your own room." "Also, female classmate, if there are some pig elder brother boys pestering you, ignore him. You have to ask yourselves, is it worth ruining your reputation for an hour of happiness? " "Well, what's the problem?" Just when the audience was silent, a gentle voice suddenly said, "Excuse me, what can I do to make him persist for an hour?" It is said that when Wukong borrowed a banana fan from Princess Iron Fan, it happened to be the time when Niu Wangmo came back from work. Niu Wangmo heard the following conversation at home: Wukong: "Sister-in-law, I am in you!" " "Princess Iron Fan:" Ah! Don't! ! ! Ah! ! ! It hurts! ! ! Do not move. Oh, please come out quickly! ! ! Ah. . . "Wukong:" OK, I'm coming out! Please open your mouth! ! ! "Princess Iron Fan:" Ah-"When Niu Wangmo heard this, he left the divorce papers at home and left sadly.

A man went to the business hall to renew his fee. Man: "I pay the broadband fee for half a year." Waitress: "It's best to pay once a year." Man: "but I only brought money for half a year!" " "The waitress patiently explained," you'd better spend a year at a time, which is more cost-effective. "Man:" I told you, only half a year. Hurry up. " Waitress: "it's not a man to be so stingy." "The man is furious:" Then tell me how long it takes to be a man at a time! "mm of a forum with close relationship with me was in a bad mood, so she took me out to have dinner with her. Halfway through the meal, she ordered a bottle of beer and then asked me, "can you have some wine with me?" "I feel terrible today!" I hesitated. "Well, sorry, I can't drink." "Oh, I'm not very good at it, and I'm drunk after drinking a bottle, and I'll mess around with my relatives when I'm drunk. Alas ~ "I gave him a sad look. I thought for a moment, then turned and shouted, "waiter, four more bottles of beer!" " ! "

A couple got married in the church. When it was time to exchange rings, the nervous groom forgot about it. The priest raised his finger anxiously, made a snapping gesture and winked at the groom. I saw the groom blushing and stammered, "Reverend, isn't this the wedding night tonight?"

10 A lonely man walked into a bar and had nothing to say to his boss, "I'm going to run for president again …" The boss quickly stopped and said, "Stop it. No one can talk about political topics in my bar. Too boring. " The man changed the subject and said, "I've heard of Paul II ..." Only to be interrupted, "Don't talk about religion, it's boring." "Let's talk about football. Recently, the psg team in Paris has suffered many defeats and battles ... ""Don't mention it, how many people will fight with me because of talking about football ... "The man couldn't bear it, held his breath and asked," Let's talk about sex? " ......

1 1 When taking the elevator, the man was surprised to find a woman covered in * * * in the elevator. The woman gave him a white look and scolded, "What are you looking at? What is there to see! " "oh! I just want to say that my wife has a leather coat like this. "

12 A certain * * always goes its own way, and will never pinch it even when breastfeeding in public. Once, he and his husband took their children to a restaurant for dinner, and the children cried with hunger. * * * lifted her skirt and nursed back to health. The waiter came up to her and politely asked her not to breastfeed in public. * * * was furious and said, "Do you think breast-feeding is obscene?" "no!" The waiter politely pointed to the notice on the wall and said, "But it is forbidden to eat food that is not served in this shop."

13 "The husband came home and found that his wife was having an affair with his best friend, so he shot them and killed them, and he was also convicted of murder. The next day, the front page news published a message, and neighbors talked about it. A neighbor who lives above the couple expressed his opinion: "Fortunately, it happened on Friday, otherwise the situation would be worse. "The neighbors said disapprovingly, what could be worse than these two deaths and one imprisonment?" Because if her husband comes back on Thursday, I will die! Isn't it worse? "The neighbor upstairs said."

14 A girl went to buy eggs with a cat in her arms and put the cat on the booth to pick eggs. The male stall owner praised the cat: You are so big! The woman was angry and didn't speak. The stall owner said: You are so white! The girl is furious: If you talk nonsense again, I will crush your eggs!

15 blind date, there is a mm sitting opposite in the teahouse. After understanding the work, education, family and hobbies of both sides, the conversation got into trouble and began to talk about some social topics. Me: What do you think of the housing market? Mm paused for a moment, then lowered her head and was silent for a while: it's best … it's best not to be too frequent …

16 wives and concubines are contending, and the husband loves concubines, deliberately scolding: "It is better to kill you, so as not to make her angry." After hearing what her husband said, I cried and fled back to my room, and her husband chased me with a knife. The wife thought that her husband really went to kill the concubines, and then went to see them, only to see them having sex. The wife said, "Cry loudly, if you kill me like this, kill me first!" " "

17 A woman just gave birth to a baby, and the milk was too abundant, which made her very painful, but her son was almost asleep and couldn't find a breast pump. In desperation, she asked her husband to help her suck milk. It happened that an intern male doctor saw it and said, excuse me, madam, I don't know if you have the wrong baby.

18 "Son, you really gave dad a long face. You can't take the exam, can you Why write couplets on the test paper? The first part: It is too difficult for my son to write the questions. Bottom line: Sun Tzu's invigilation is too strict. Horizontal criticism: I won't. Your head teacher invited me to the office. I smiled when I saw the test paper. The teacher stared at me! A beautiful woman decided to spend a lot of money to lose weight. Spent hundreds of thousands, she felt very satisfied! On the way home, at the newsstand, she bought a newspaper and asked her boss, "Excuse me, how old do you think I am?"? "The boss said: She is so happy! Then she went to work as a laborer's salesman and asked the lady at the counter the same question. The young lady said: I guess she is so happy: no way! In high spirits, she went to Uni-President Supermarket on the corner and bought a pack of chewing gum. She couldn't help asking the counter lady there. Miss said: well, I guess she is too proud: thank you! While waiting for the bus, she asked the old man next to her. The old man said: I am blind, I can't see. However, there is one way to be sure when you are young. If you let me put my hand into your bra, I can definitely know your age ... "

19 my colleague divorced because she came home from a business trip and found her wife cheating. I asked him how he found out. He said: through condoms. I asked, "Why, there are fewer condoms?" "No, I left it when I left, and I still left it when I came back." "That is how to return a responsibility? . ""When I left, I was Jasper, and when I came back, I became Durex ... "

When I first started working at the age of 20, I went on a business trip far away. The first time I invited someone to dinner, I asked the waiter, "Do you have any sanitary napkins?" The waiter stared at the thief and said, "What?" I repeated: "sanitary napkins!" The waiter blushed and said, "We don't have any here. We must buy it if you need it. " I wondered in my heart that the hotel didn't have sanitary napkins, so I made a mistake and bought them. After a long time, the waiter brought a pack of comfort and happiness with a shiny tray. I took the exam. What I wanted to say was napkins. I drank too much.

2 1 There are two fishermen's brothers, both of whom are married. But the family is poor and can only be together, and the two brothers share a fishing boat. Every night, the husband and wife's life is out of sync, the fishing boat shakes, and the two brothers feel distressed. After thinking for a long time, I reached a tacit understanding: take drinking as the number. Brother or brother said, let's have a drink together! At the same time, one day, after the two brothers finished playing, the younger brother Yu Xing said, Brother! Have another drink together! Brother replied: Brother, just one drink!

On the 22nd, the director of the Women's Federation came to a village to inspect the work. The following is his speech: Hello, everyone, you did a good job. I am a lout. How thick is it? Female village head, you know we talked all night last night. Later, she knew my length and I knew her depth. ...

I went to qq farm to steal vegetables at three o'clock this morning, just as my ex-girlfriend's pomegranate was ripe, so I stole it mercilessly. Unexpectedly, after I got up for work in the morning and opened my qq space, I saw the message from my ex-girlfriend: If you were so energetic last night, I wouldn't break up with you.