The first skill. Focus on the chat itself, not the topic.

Many people don't know how to chat with girls, and often there is no topic to talk about. And I think: chatting doesn't need to prepare a topic at all! Topic-based chat method: When chatting, we always want to focus on the topic we have thought of in advance, but we don't pay attention to the chat itself, so the following situations often occur:

for instance

Me: Have you eaten? (raise a topic)

Yes

Me: What are you doing? (bring up another topic)

Surf the Internet

Me: Is the weather good there? (bring up another topic)

MM: not bad

Me: Are you busy recently? (bring up another topic)

take one's time

Me:. . . . There is no topic to talk about, because there is always a time when the topic ends.

Me: Oh, well, I just want to call and ask what you are doing, so keep busy. Goodbye.

MM: goodbye

Because all you can think of at this moment is, what should I say? What topic should I talk to MM? This often leads to a dead end. When you finish the questions prepared in advance, you will find that you are dumb!

The correct way to chat is to pay attention to the chat itself, not the topic of chat, not the question of what to talk about, but the question of how to talk.

for instance

Me: Have you eaten? (Put forward a topic, key words: eat rice)

MM: I ate it.

Me: What did you eat? (triggered by keyword eating)

MM: Beef noodles.

Me: Did you make it yourself? (triggered by the keyword rice)

MM: Beef noodles.

Me: Did you make it yourself? (triggered by the keyword rice)

I can't cook. I bought it. (Keywords: I can't cook. ) Me: You can't cook. A girl can't even cook. See how you got married. A new keyword has appeared because it can't cook. )

MM: I don't want to do it. My mother used to do this.

Me: It was before, and now it is now. Now you have grown up. Girls should learn to cook. Don't you cook as a wife? (Previously, this keyword triggered a new keyword "adult wife")

I haven't decided to get married. . . (Keywords Marriage)

Me: Your mother loves you very much.

MM: My mother loves me very much. I am the youngest. Of course it will hurt me.

Me: Are you the youngest? Do you have any brothers or sisters? (A new keyword brother is triggered by the smallest keyword)

My sister BLABLABLAL. . . . (many)

When I got here, I found that the key words used here are almost the same. I immediately returned to the keyword marriage in the previous conversation, and I can chat with the keywords that appeared in the conversation between the superior and the subordinate!

Me: haven't you decided what kind of person you want to marry? (triggered by the keyword marriage)

I haven't decided yet, BLABLABLAL. . . . (Many) (Key words: I don't know)

Me: What's your standard? (triggered by bad thinking of keywords)

MM: My standard is. . BLABLABLAL .。 . . (many)

At this time, I found that there were no keywords in what she said, or the keywords here were not conducive to your topic. Go back to the keywords in the previous conversation and chat immediately!

take for example

The keyword buy in line 6.

Me: Do you like shopping? Do you like shopping? (New keyword purchases are triggered by earlier keyword purchases)

MM: I like it. I like it very much.

Me: What else do you like? (triggered by keywords like) MM: I like singing, swimming and traveling (new keywords appear: singing, swimming and traveling).

Me: Oh, you like singing. Whose song do you like to sing? Hmm. . . .

Me: Oh, you like swimming. Can you swim? How is your swimming? Where do you usually swim?

Hmm. . . .

Me: Oh, you like traveling. Where have you traveled? How do you feel?

Hmm. . . .

Don't dwell on a keyword all the time, grab a keyword and start chatting when you reach a certain level! Go back to the last keyword and start talking to a certain extent. Stop. Go back to the last keyword in the middle of the chat to continue the chat. Stop. Go back to the top and start chatting with the last keyword to some extent. Stop. Go back to the previous keyword chat. . . . . .

You will find that you have not prepared any topics during the whole chat, and the chat itself will bring you countless topics! You don't need to be ready to start chatting anytime, anywhere. You won't be under pressure. You won't rack your brains to think about what I should say. Because you will have so many topics that you don't know what to choose to talk about. The important thing is that you have something to say and get into a good chat atmosphere. It doesn't matter what you talk to MM, what matters is fun, fun and humor in this atmosphere. Of course, this series of verbiage seems to have no focus and no nutrition, but what I want to say is that this is just an example, so that people in the AFC who talk to girls only a few words can have something to say, so as not to be cold, and I won't keep asking questions like this. This process should be interactive. I can only say that this is just the skeleton of chatting. To make chatting interesting, we must join the framework, push and pull, and silence.

The second layer of skill maintenance framework: in the process of chatting, girls will consciously give you a test, but how do you face the test of girls? The correct way is to give her a trap to jump in, and then you jump in. The simplest example is that she doesn't jump and you don't jump. This is what I saw in the video tutorial of Charming Man:

How old are you? (MM tests you)

Me: 28 years old (I jumped into her trap, her strong skeleton absorbed my weak skeleton and I became bored)

How old are you? (MM tests you)

Me: Guess? (I gave her a trap)

MM: I don't guess, you tell me (MM doesn't jump)

Me: You'll never guess (don't jump into the trap of MM).

I guess you are 26 years old (MM jumps into the trap)

Me: Actually, I'm 30 (she jumped first, so I jumped again).

Me: How old are you? (I tested MM and set a trap for her)

MM: Guess? (MM tests me, and she answers me a trap) Me: Do you want to guess lower or higher? (Don't jump into the trap to continue the trap)

MM: guess high (MM can't help jumping in)

Me: I guess you're 24 (MM jumps before me)

MM: I'm 26 years old.

Extended example

MM: I want to eat hot pot, please treat me (MM test you)

Me: Well, if you go shopping with me to buy clothes tomorrow, I'll invite you (I'll set a trap for her if you don't jump into her trap).

MM: I can't. I am busy tomorrow. I am very stingy. Is it so hard to invite me to dinner? Please come down. . (continue to set you up. If you jump, it's a weak frame. )

Me: Are you busy tomorrow? Ok, you can accompany me to the night market to buy clothes after eating hot pot (I'll give her another trap if I don't jump into her trap)

I'm going back tonight. It's too late to finish eating. . . Keep setting you up, MM, depending on how long you can last. )

Me: No, please come again next time. I'll find someone else to accompany me to buy clothes (insist! Don't jump into her trap)

MM: It's hard to treat me to hot pot. Then when I have time, can I go shopping with you? (continue to set you up. MM wants to use such vague words against you. )

Me: When are you free? Are you free the day after tomorrow? Accompany me the day after tomorrow (insist! Don't jump into her trap.

MM: ok (MM jumped first, MM couldn't hold on first)

Me: I may be late for dinner after work. You may be late for dinner. Call me when you are ready to order. (continue to trap her. ) MM: well, that (MM frame) is completely absorbed by you. )

Frame maintenance

Let MM feel that she can't stand you, and your strong frame will eventually absorb MM's low frame in the chat, thus making MM feel dependent and attractive.

The third level of skill push and pull.

I think the so-called pull is that you like MM to praise MM for deliberately narrowing the distance with MM, and the so-called push is that you don't like to suppress and ignore MM's flexible use, which makes MM's feelings ups and downs, so that MM has a so-called feeling for you.

Example 1

Me: Before high school, your class chased many beautiful people (La).

MM: Hehe, of course. Why don't you chase me?

Me: I like you, too (La)

MM: Hehe, really, you haven't always had a crush on me, have you?

Me: That was before, not now (push away)

Oh, how have you been recently? We have time to come out and talk about me: Hehe, I'm busy recently, so I may not have time.

Well, we'll talk about it sometime. After push and pull, compliance test is used to check whether it is effective.

Me: You invite me to eat delicious food, and I may go (subject to the test).

MM: Then I'll treat you tomorrow.

Example 2

I don't know if you've seen Du Lala's Promotion. In the seaside scene, Wang Wei (Huang Lixing) walks and chats with an expert on pushing and pulling to see the sea and snuggles up to catch fireflies (Wang Wei uses the pulling method), and then suddenly pushes Du Lala away when he wants to kiss later, ignoring Du Lala's intimate behavior with other beautiful women (Wang Wei's system). Du Lala feels emotional fluctuations, and then Wang Wei sends Du Lala a short message: ". "(Wang Wei used the technique of obeying the test) Du Lala came out and took Du Lala's hand to check in (Wang Wei's previous push was for a deeper purpose, not kissing).

The fourth skill. Tell a story

1. When telling other people's stories, I think the key is to tell a sense of humor and pay attention to the ways and means of telling them. I won't talk about specific examples. You can look at the dog's post about Lao Wang. Carefully understand the way Lao Wang tells stories.

2. Telling your own story undoubtedly plays an important role in chatting with MM. Everyone has many stories in his own experience, but if you just tell stories and tell your own experiences without adding any DHV elements, then telling stories can only bring you into the friendship zone. And people who tell good stories, you can't hear the ingredients of deliberate "bragging" in it. Tell your DHV point of view skillfully in the story.

The fifth level of skills tells ideas, opinions and verbal conventions.

The source of ideas and opinions can be understood by others or by yourself to form your own views on some things. This depends on my usual thinking and form my own opinion. In fact, in the process of interacting with people, I can absorb good opinions for my use. Read more newspaper and online comments. After thinking and absorbing by myself, I will discuss with others, absorb others' good ideas for my use, and gradually improve my own.

for instance

Song Yuehai algae is on its way to Dingshan Lake.

Seaweed: "Secretary Song, can I ask you a question? Why do you want this car? I think a slave needs to stand on tiptoe to get up when taking the bus. "

Song Siming: "I said seaweed, this is a British royal car. It's called Land Rover. You think it is ugly. I think it is the best one in the car. "

-Tell your opinion.

Song Siming: "The man driving is bloody. He wants to own a Land Rover. He stayed in the city for a long time, hoping that he could grow up on the grassland like a group of wild horses with manes floating in the wind. Land Rover is a person's leg and the wind blowing in the air "-

-Tell your opinion.

Song Siming: "You can't see this kind of car in the city. . . "

Song Siming: "This man should have a good car, a confidante and another one all his life. . . . "

-Speak up. When you speak up, MM can only look up to you.

The sixth skill evokes MM's curiosity.

I think in the early days of knowing MM, the first feeling I should give her was curiosity, which made her curious. What's this man's story?

Example 1

Song Siming and seaweed meet for the first time.

Song: "Have you got a family?"

Hai: "Not yet"

Song: "The future is boundless"

This is the point. What does Song Siming want to show in his first meeting with seaweed? Humor? No, this is the first time I met a girl. I think you should give her a sense of mystery and make her curious. You can say something wonderful. . . I'm curious about you and wonder why he said such a thing.

Strange example 2

Everyone has secrets (South Korea PUA movie) When the hero meets his third sister, the first sentence is: "Hello, I've heard a lot about you." Say hello and everyone will say, but what about the last sentence? The curiosity aroused makes every woman feel that when I first met this man, he said that he had heard a lot about me. What is that?

The seventh level of skills keeps a certain mystery to MM.

When a woman is curious about you, congratulations, you will be lucky. With curiosity, the next thing to do is to make persistent efforts and keep this curiosity until. . . . And the best way to keep a MM curious is to keep a certain degree of mystery about MM, pay attention! To some extent! Not too light and not too light. You'll know everything about you in a couple of days, that's all. It's over. I can't feel it. Of course, not too much. That will make her feel that the distance between you is bigger than the river between the cowherd and the weaver girl. What are you going to play like this? There is nothing to play.

theme

What do you do? Why do you like this job? What is the biggest challenge? What is the biggest setback? What are your hopes for your job and future? )

2. What achievements have you made in your life so far? Any major setbacks? )

3. What do you like best? (Why are you interested)

4. < Recently > What was the most memorable happy event last year? (or an unfortunate thing? )

5. How will you handle your work?

6. How do you like to spend your holiday?

7. Do you want to be famous? (why)

8. If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it?

9. In your family, how did you grow up?

10, what was your character strengths when you were growing up? What are the disadvantages of fear? )

1 1. What kind of relationship do you want to develop?

12 Are you romantic? How romantic? )

13, what do you think is the difference between men and women?

14, what makes you happy?

What makes you sad?

16. When you were young, what did you want to be when you grew up?

17, where do you think you are different from others?

18, do you believe in God? What do you think of God? )

19. to what extent do you think your personal behavior has an impact on changing society?

20. What do you think are the important events in society at present? If possible, what action would you take? )

The first trick: around the career pursuit, look for the "bright spot" of the topic.

Career is the foundation of human life. Any young man who is diligent in his career and tireless in his life will fly once he talks with others about the topic of work and life. So, grab some of his "bright spots" in this respect and dig into the topic, and you will have a lively chat.

Su Xin is an enterprising girl, but she is introverted and unsociable, so she became a big girl in her twenties and has lived alone since then. One day, a colleague introduced her to a policeman, Li Ming. When we met for the first time, the introducer made a few routine remarks and left. The two of them remained silent and were in an awkward position.

When Su Xin saw this scene, she was in a hurry and seemed to say casually: "Your work as a policeman is very hard, your life is always in danger, and your family and relatives are suffering. This is really unacceptable to ordinary people." Hearing this, Dawn was in a hurry and immediately took over Su Xin's words, expounding the greatness and pride of her career from the aspects of career and ambition, life and pursuit, dedication and demand.

More than two hours of dating passed unconsciously in each other's laughter. Finally, Su Xin sent an affectionate smile to Dawn. In the "crisis moment" of the first date with Dawn, Su Xin caught the bright spot of the other party's love of work and looked for a topic. Seemingly "casual", in fact, she deliberately threw out the proposition "which is more important, family or career" to examine his pursuit of career and life, which not only effectively solved the problem of having nothing to say when meeting for the first time, but also achieved the purpose of enhancing mutual understanding and communicating ideas.

The second trick: around hobbies, find the "* * * sound point" of the topic.

Everyone has his own hobbies. Even taciturn people will speak freely as long as they talk about their hobbies. However, when we first met, you still didn't know what his hobbies were. It doesn't matter what we do. Let's talk about our hobbies first, and then seek the best points in each other's hobbies to increase our understanding and deepen our feelings.

Ah Yue met Ah Tong through personals in the newspaper. Both of them felt uncomfortable when they met for the first time. Like reciting lines, they chatted simply around the storm, the sun and the moon for a while, and then there was nothing to say. After a moment of silence, Ayue had a brainwave and offered, "How about going to karaoke?" "Karaoke?" O hesitate to ask 1. "Yes, sitting in the booth, while enjoying the fragrance of green tea and coffee, listening to warm or affectionate music, the troubles and worries of life, the tension and fatigue of work, like a wisp of smoke floating in the wind, will be accompanied by your relaxation, comfort and happiness." Ah Yue paused and stared at Ah Tong affectionately. "Are you right?" "I don't like singing and dancing very much, but after listening to your wonderful exposition, I feel the inspiration and power of music to life.

No wonder readers criticized my work for lack of passion. ""You mean, do you like reading and writing? This feeling is good. Music and writing, culture and art are originally a' home'. "When the dialogue between Ah Yue and A Tong was unsustainable, the clever Ah Yue took the opportunity to introduce her hobbies to A Tong first, so as to explore his hobbies. When her hobbies deviated from A Tong's, she skillfully extended the other's hobbies to a broad field, thus finding the voice point of "family".

The third measure: find the "focus" of the topic around the environmental atmosphere.

Ambient atmosphere is a dynamic, random and rich topic. It is not a romantic moaning, but a grasp of this topic reflects a person's level and taste in thinking, morality, wisdom, treating people and other aspects.

It can be said that a person who is good at observing things, analyzing problems and handling contradictions will have endless power as long as he pays attention to the environmental atmosphere.

In Jiangsu and Zhejiang provinces, blind date usually involves the man going to the woman's house. On this day, Yi Group separated from Chunhui and dated alone at home. Chunhui walked into the room and casually commented on her home. But Yiqun is a typical conservative and introverted girl. When Chunhui finished, she stopped answering the phone.

The conversation reached a deadlock, and the whole room was only the twittering of "Princess Zhu Huan" on TV. Both of them looked at the screen quietly, and no one spoke again. At this time, Yi Qun's heart was anxious. But she did lack the courage to face Chunhui, so she said to herself in front of the TV: "Now there are more TV channels, but fewer wonderful programs. Look at this "Pearl Princess". The whole story is a farce, with no taste and no practical significance. " "Yes, look at that swallow ..."

This lost topic suddenly awakened Tan Xing in the spring. "What do you think of Er Taigong's rescue of Yanzi and Wei Zi from prison alone?" "I admire E Ertai's integrity, chivalry and courage. There are very few such friends now ... "

When there were obstacles in the first conversation with Chunhui, Yiqun took local materials and focused on the TV programs being broadcast, which made people feel natural, casual and relaxed. At the same time, she is good at using topics to find what she needs to know. On the surface, she is listening to Chunhui's evaluation of the behavior of Channel 2, but in fact, she is examining Chunhui's principles and level of her own behavior.

The fourth measure: around social life, look for the excitement of the topic.

Social life covers everything. You will always have some deepest feelings, words you want to say, people and things you hate or like most, and things you care about or want most in life. Then, when you are caught up in a conversation with a friend, pick a point that you are most excited about.

According to the arrangement of the introducer, Xiaoqing walked into the park with a magazine in his hand and met another boy, Ayi, with a magazine in his hand. After they signed up for their home like a recruitment exam, they walked silently by the lake in the park.

Xiaoqing thinks that since she is here on a blind date, she should always talk and learn more about it. What is it that they don't talk? She frowned and the plan came to her mind. "What's the magazine in your hand? Can you understand it? " "Just bought China cosmetics. This magazine is very good and tasteful. " Ah Yi briefly introduced the magazine and handed it to Xiao Qing. "Wow, I can't see that you are quite good at beauty and fashion." "You don't praise me so much. I'm just a hobby.

You see, in the past, beauty makeup was just a woman's fashion. Now people's living standards have improved and their pursuits have changed. Why can't men live brighter? "They talked about fashion, from makeup to fashion, from playing" cool "to darkness, and when they broke up, they were already like a pair of lovers who had been in love for a long time.

Xiaoqing's cleverness lies in her belief that a book always leads to many book-related topics. Even though Ayi is just holding a book for show and is not interested in books or a certain topic, he is always interested in many social life topics triggered by books, so their first conversation was very successful and tacit.