Tong Tong, three years old. When Tong Tong was in kindergarten, she didn't like to take part in group activities and was introverted. With the guidance and company of the teacher, she has made remarkable progress. Tong Tong often catches a cold. Although it is not serious, her mother is very anxious about it. She always blames the kindergarten teacher for not taking good care of the children. The child was infected in kindergarten. Every time there is a cold symptom, the mother will take the child home and usually take a long rest before going to kindergarten. Over and over again, children have been running back and forth between home and kindergarten.
Through many contacts with Tong Tong's mother, this paper analyzes Tong Tong's frequent illness, and we find that:
Mom is in a hurry. She is always worried that her child will get sick. When the child is really sick, she shows excessive fear. Tong Tong will think that if you are sick, you don't have to go to kindergarten.
Tong Tong is still in a sensitive period of order, and the established order is broken again and again, which will make her feel uneasy. Constantly switching between home and kindergarten has deepened children's resistance to going to kindergarten. This leads to an increasing probability of getting sick.
The mother's distrust of the teacher, her attitude and practice of blaming at will deepened the child's distrust of the teacher.
The sense of value of stay-at-home mothers. Because there was no job, my mother put all her energy and attention on Tong Tong. Tong Tong's illness will make his mother feel incompetent.
The child is not confident. Because my mother has more free time, my father and the whole family have more control and the family atmosphere is tense. Tong Tong's self-confidence is obviously insufficient, and she relies on her mother's words more smoothly.
A mother who loves to blame. My mother has always been in an uncertain state since she was a child. Being dissatisfied with others is actually not confident in yourself and dissatisfied with yourself.
In fact, many problems when children enter the park are not the children's own problems, but related to whether parents are brave and full of strength when transmitting information to their children. Some experiences of parents also limit children's cognition of the world. Mother thinks that kindergarten is a dark and harsh environment, and her nervous and anxious mood will lead children to be full of fear and worry about kindergarten.
This situation is typical of children who are anxious about entering the park.
In contrast, our advice to parents is:
Correctly treat children who get sick in the park. The child has just changed to a new environment, and may have temporary discomfort due to changes in schedule and diet. In addition, kindergarten is a collective environment. Compared with the situation with few people and good hygiene, it is inevitable that there will be some germs. If the child's immunity is low, it will be unbearable. Coupled with the depression caused by the separation of children from their mothers, they are more likely to get sick. To change this situation, the mother must first put down her anxiety and spend this separated anxiety period with her children.
Weaken the condition. Minimize the fear of disease and let children learn to be strong. Children subconsciously feel that they can not go to kindergarten as long as they are sick, and parents constantly remind them. Children will be implanted with this concept, which will aggravate the degree of illness. Parents should give their children positive encouragement and make them a little stronger.
Mom needs to establish new values. Mothers should look away from their husbands and children, pay attention to their own growth, grow up from the "child state" and learn to take responsibility, instead of just showing their value through their children.
Mom needs to improve her relationship with dad. Parents should create a warm and harmonious family atmosphere for their children and let them have enough confidence to face their own lives.
At the same time, kindergarten teachers should actively establish a new trust relationship with children, guide children to interact with children, and make children integrate into collective life as soon as possible.