I always think that one should fall in love several times before getting married. Because the first love experience is insufficient, my eyes are still blind, and I don't know the other species-of course, I don't know my real needs. So the first love rarely falls apart. We'll talk after the talk is over. You'd better say it again and again. When it collapses, it's really boring, which means that the other species is thoroughly understood-alas, it turns out that men are all the same stuff-even if their eyes are completely open and fully awake.

It feels good to wake up and know what you really need. In fact, it is really simple and comfortable to find a person to live in. As for what he looks like, whether he has talent, how much money, whether he has achieved fame, whether he can provide high-quality sperm for the next generation, etc., it is equivalent to the logo on the clothes, which has nothing to do with the comfort that the clothes themselves bring to the body.

Having raised a baby for six years, I feel that the process of raising a child is very similar to finding a suitable person to get married. I am also inexperienced and keep trying to make mistakes. Every mistake collapses, every mistake collapses. Now that Doudou is six and a half years old, I seem to understand-alas, the original purpose of raising children is not so utilitarian, just let nature take its course.

02.

Not long ago, I hitchhiked on a Pu Sang, the owner of which was a Beijinger. Dressed like punk. Very talkative and optimistic, she looks really young, but in fact she is almost fifty.

Mr Pu Sang said that his daughter is 17 years old this year. She was not interested in learning since she was a child. She won't learn unless she studies. A father never pushes his children because she cares about his daughter's happiness. But he also made it clear to his daughter that after studying hard, he might find a good job in the future, earn more money and buy whatever he wants. If you don't study well, it's hard to find a good job. If you earn less money, you can't even eat and buy things. You have to eat noodles every day! My daughter has a unique idea and decided to eat noodles every day, so she didn't go to college, but only went to a technical secondary school.

Mr. Pu Sang said that although his daughter did not do well in school, she was very confident, optimistic and attractive. What makes him most satisfied is family relations. "Our family's economic conditions are very general, but our family has never been red. We have a very good relationship with our children's daughter-in-law and get along like friends. We are all similar in personality, casual, simple and easy to satisfy. Hey, you can do anything as long as you leave me alone. "

Obviously, Mr. Pu Sang's attitude and lifestyle have a profound influence on his daughter. Father and daughter have the same view, they are independent and respect each other. I quite like this kind of family, and it has realized equality and autonomy in the true sense, that is, parents leave their daughters' future entirely to themselves, and their daughters are fully responsible for themselves. But more families are not like this. Children from more families have autonomy in the hands of their parents.

Just honor your ancestors and realize your self-worth. No parents don't want their children to get ahead. To tell the truth, wearing a famous brand is especially satisfying for people's vanity! It's just that children think like adults. If your child doesn't want to be surprised at all, he yearns for ordinary life and noodles every day.

03.

Ten years ago, I interviewed a student of the Central Conservatory of Music, a foreigner. The conditions at home are average. In order to let her practice the piano well, her mother stopped the small business at home, left her father alone at home, went to Beijing to accompany her, rented a bungalow next to the Conservatory of Music, cooked and washed clothes for her, and took care of her daily life. With high consumption and insufficient money in Beijing, it is difficult for a mother to find time to help others with housework. My daughter said in an interview that she is practicing piano for her mother now, and she has deep fear and psychological pressure in her heart. What if you can't learn well, or you can't earn money after graduation? Mother pinned all her hopes on her like a bet, and she was simply desperate.

The daughter is very helpless and depressed. After learning this way, it seems that it is not the daughter but the mother who is in bed. But this is a daughter's life after all, and some mothers just confuse their own lives with their daughters' lives.

This kind of feeding is very China. Although western families are also trying to raise their children, it is unlikely that this will happen when parents emphasize themselves.

I took Doudou to see a stage play that day and was about to leave. There is a little girl in the corner of the hall, about four or five years old, crying. Crying and saying, "Mom, I beg you, I don't want to take Lego class, I don't want to go, okay?" The child's mother is in her thirties, with no makeup, messy hair and a tired face. It seems that she didn't hear her daughter's pleading. I saw her kneeling down and putting down a down jacket on her child. She looked very calm and said to her daughter, "Good boy, get dressed and hurry up!" "

04.

Doudou signed up for piano and English when he was four years old. He had to learn piano, so he signed up for a class. I didn't expect to learn music theory first. After several classes, he had no idea. As soon as he sat there, wonderful music flowed from his fingers. Instead, I am familiar with the keys and bored every day. So there appeared the above, similar to the scene where the little girl in Lego class cried and begged.

I thought to myself, I can't say no after all the money has been spent. I pushed him two or three times. I was disgusted at the sight of him. Forget it. If you can't get the rest of the money back, you can't get it back. Now they are also cable classes, and each class is 100 yuan. After that, parents will chase their children to study on the computer. It can be seen that children should not learn this and that at a relatively young age, especially when playing requires accuracy and requires repeated practice. Of course, some have been studying since they signed up for class. Parents have also made great efforts. It is not an exaggeration to describe it with twice the result with half the effort, but the cost of companionship is too high. In my opinion, it is definitely not worthwhile now.

The piano has stopped and the English class is still on. English class is taught by foreign teachers, learning 26 English letters a year, but it is very expensive. Obviously, Doudou is not active in learning English, but he can persist because the foreign teachers' classes are more humanized. Most importantly, many amusement facilities and children's toys in the shopping mall are around this famous English training institution. Doudou often makes a condition in "On the Floor": "I can take English class, but I want to shoot!" "

It is said that children should have fun at an early age. Water, mud, stones, pigments, Lego, piano, balls, chess, and all kinds of things in life are used for playing. Play if you want, and adults who don't want to play can't worry. However, everyone is talking about education, and the whole society is panicking. Training institutions all over the street seem to be thinking of you, warning you not to let your children lose at the starting line. I finally understand why I turned a happy scene into paying for Doudou's interest class-very simple and anxious.

05.

That spring, I took my friends to Luoyang to enjoy flowers. Doudou saw his friend teaching his son to play Go on the high-speed train, and when he returned to Beijing, he clamored for learning. In addition, institutions that run Go classes hang at the entrance of kindergartens every day to talk about how Go can stimulate the brain and make children smart. Some children who played with Doudou also signed up for the Go class, and my vanity hidden under pure cotton could not help showing. I thought other children were smart, and my Doudou couldn't be stupid enough to sign up without saying anything.

In fact, I should have bought a Go and played with my children at home. Isn't it blind obedience? I'm afraid I'm too poor to teach well-so besides English class, I have to accompany Doug to class twice a week, and each class is more than an hour. Not to mention peas, just accompanying me to class and running back and forth, I am often too tired to even solve dinner outside. What annoys me most is that the Go teacher wants me to study with my children, to attend classes from time to time and to take notes, so that I can practice with my children every day. It's not enough to practice with children. You should record the whole process of playing chess and send it to the group for the teacher to see. Originally, I was not interested in playing Go, but after several attempts to cooperate, I finally got angry. The purpose of signing up for Go class is to make children smart. Now let's not talk about whether children are smart or not. I am stupid myself. I am tired and stupid. ......

There is not enough time. Daily housework and work, Doudou also adds a little accident from time to time. Besides being a bean mom, I am also a wife, daughter, daughter-in-law, best friend and screenwriter ..... I have been running around in various roles, but none of them are qualified.

I feel that there is something wrong with my way of thinking. This is just a game of chess. Why is the cost of companionship so high? Besides, why do you have to learn Go? Can't you play chess? Doesn't chess stimulate children's brains and make them smarter?

That's obviously not the reason. With the popularity of chess in China, nine times out of ten parents can be their children's teachers, and they can play chess at home without having to report to class at all, and there is no cost for parents and children. However, how can training institutions make money when children study at home?

I thought and thought, and finally understood that education is a big industry, just like the inexplicable festivals that always pop up now, with businessmen counting money behind them.

06.

Well, as soon as I clear my mind, I will become a chicken thief. Now, whenever it comes to going out with Doudou, you must be careful and pay attention. If children don't like it, it's as far as interstellar travel. It's not the best but the most expensive, forcing me to follow it all the way ... To put it bluntly, if I can solve it myself, I won't find an institution. If the cost of accompanying the baby affects my life, I am determined! Don't go! Never! Blind obedience!

One day during the winter vacation, Doudou clamored to play badminton. When it is warm, I take him downstairs to play badminton. This is zero cost! But not in winter. At that time, it was a few degrees below zero outside. The key was that the northwest wind blew and hit me in the face like a slap in the face. Thinking of his weight, he is almost 50 Jin, and he is really tired. You can't stay at home all the time because of the cold weather. Most importantly, I want to stretch myself. I booked a venue in the morning and took him to the gym near my home to play badminton.

As soon as I entered the arena, I found a coach, seven or eight students, all eight or nine years old, and my mother was accompanying the children to class. One of them is very warm-hearted. When he learned that I was actually taking the children to play ball, he immediately politely advised them that if the parents' playing posture is not standard, it will affect the children. The children's serving posture is not standard at first, and it will be difficult to play well in the future. I asked her if she planned to let her children play ball when they grew up. She said no, that is, she thought that if children want to play ball, they should have a standard posture at the beginning, otherwise they will not play well in the future. I said that since we don't engage in this major, why should we be so standard?

An enthusiastic mother is a person with firm opinions. One of the terrible things about people with firm views is that they can't hear other people's voices. She said to herself, "I have to report to class." My child is like this now. Let the professional coach teach me for ten days in a row, and come every day. There is no problem after the standard serve, and it is worthwhile to spend two thousand yuan on ten classes. "

Well, I can't communicate. I walked away with a racket. I think I'm really addicted to taking classes, so I don't care about my financial ability. If it is not easy for ordinary people to make money, it is best to spend it on the cutting edge-it is good to take their children to play, and both adults and children can exercise, and both of them are very open-minded. This process is more enjoyable.

07.

The explosion of knowledge, the explosion of information, the explosion of lack of individuality ... It is easy for individuals to feel anxious in such an era. Raising a child exposes the limitations of parents' cognition and the lack of all aspects. So I walked into Xidan Book Building. God, it's so crowded and trampled. Should I bury my head in study, study or study?

Someone learned to make a bank card; Someone learned the compact version of the knowledge encyclopedia CD; Someone diligently makes a big-name LOGO；; Others don't want to learn anything, just want to eat noodles every day. ......

Zhuangzi lamented the depth of life and the universe, and advised us to preserve health and cherish life and let nature take its course, so he said, "Life is limited, and so is knowledge. With the limit, it is almost over! " My best friend said, "Middle age is my youth." It suddenly dawned on me. Yes, young man, there is plenty of time, what's the hurry!