Small fish format:
1. Dear: (in the name of love)
I saw (one thing) or heard (one thing)
In my heart, you are a person with (personality traits, such as gratitude, courtesy and responsibility).
I feel (feel).
? Love ().
Pay attention to 1. Take your time according to your usual habits.
What you heard was passed on by important people, such as grandpa, grandma, dad, etc. You can exaggerate when describing it, and you must describe what you see truly.
3. The description of personality characteristics is very important. Among the six levels of cognition, the higher the level, the greater the power. For example, in the identity layer, the child is a responsible person, a person who insists on self-discipline, a person who loves learning, a polite person and so on. And give children a positive belief. This requires our parents to keep learning, so that you can see what kind of person the child's identity layer is from his behavior.
Finally, let me express my feelings. My mother feels very happy and gratified. This little fish is finished. What should be avoided is our expectation. As a child, you continue to refuel.
Dear family:
? I see you keep learning in the group and you have done it. In my mind, you are people who love learning, have a sense of responsibility and actively pursue progress. I feel very happy and warm to study with you. I am grateful to meet you, and I love you. [Hug] [Hug] [Shake hands] [Shake hands]
Love your love cloud.
Xiaoyu's maternal love
This is what a colleague who participated in executive training told me. In the process of writing small fish for children, we often give up because we think that children have not seen it. In fact, as long as we put down our expectations and persist enough, children will definitely see it. As Teacher Ma Longfei said, we should stand the test, wait and hold the result. When the test comes, ask yourself if you are persistent enough and patient enough. This is written by his child in the second day of junior high school. Now the child is a sophomore. His mother said that he studied very well and had a high emotional intelligence. Four years later, his mother was still very excited when she mentioned it, and tears came down. This is the result of her persistence. Good morning, dear family. Ask yourself every day, have you persisted?
See a positive behavior that children do, encourage recognition in advance, express their feelings, plant positive beliefs in the first three levels, and let children see what kind of person they are. Through the interaction of daily life, children are repeatedly planted with positive beliefs. When children believe that they are a kind of person, they will naturally think about what kind of ability I should have, what kind of behavior I should take, and what kind of people (environment) I want to be with. This is the child's internal motivation, that is, internal drive. On the other hand, if we often attack and deny children, children will have the belief that I can't, I can't, I'm not good, and I have no sense of value, and the impact on children will be devastating.
What I saw or heard from the behavioral level about what the child really did rose to what kind of person the child was in the mother's mind, and planted positive beliefs for the child. After repeated planting, this belief will take root and sprout in children's hearts and thrive. When children think they are such people, such as self-confidence, flexibility, intelligence, competence, like learning, hygiene, persistence, self-discipline, hard work, diligence and so on. It's just an admission. The realization of self-worth includes self-confidence, self-esteem and self-love. The formula of self-confidence is to do, do more, do more, and make children confident by doing more. Therefore, letting children do things from an early age is to cultivate their self-confidence. Starting from simple things through small things in daily life, children will have a sense of value and accomplishment, and they will have a sense of victory, which is the driving force for doing things. A child is confident when he believes that he can do it. Confidence is the foundation. What is self-esteem? Self-esteem is self-respect, and children with self-esteem will respect others. He has his own boundaries and bottom line, neither crossing others' boundaries nor letting others cross his own boundaries. He has his own free world, he knows his own needs, and he can also realize the needs of others in time. He can love himself. This is self-love, and loving yourself is the highest state. Only those who really love themselves can love others, and love can only flow to others through themselves. If he is flawed, love is false and full of expectations. A self-loving child will be responsible for his own health, and he will know that his parents can't hurt his body. Only children who love themselves will ask themselves when making choices, I am ready, how are you? How is everyone? The choice made on the principle of win-win can stand the test of practice.
what is love ? Meeting children's needs is love. When you are thirsty, you drink a glass of water, and you feel comfortable. This is your demand for water, so you will doubt whether the child needs to drink water, so you will pick up a glass of water and come to the child. When the child needs it, she will tell your mother that I don't need water, so we will take it back or put it aside. This is a process of giving love. But many times we think that love imposes control on children, and then love becomes hate. How many children have turned against their parents since childhood? Don't they love children? No parents don't love their children. Crows know how to feed back, and lambs know how to kneel and feed. It's just that we love in the wrong way.
If you don't pay attention to the ways and means in your communication with children and let your emotions vent, people will lose their minds under the influence of negative emotions and plant viral beliefs for children. Stupid, careless, procrastinating, timid, ignorant, unfilial, lying, etc. When a child really thinks he is such a person, he will feel sorry for you, instead of being silly and procrastinating.
Common viral beliefs: I can't, I can't, I'm worthless. Worthless is the most serious of the three virus beliefs. A child who thinks that there is no life and no value, an unconscious look, and an action of others will take away his life. Life is priceless, but when we confuse value with achievement, when the value of a child's life is based on one thing, the success of the child is valuable, and the failure is worthless. Learning well is valuable, but learning badly is worthless, which will become a child's belief.
Six tools, eighteen martial arts, 5R success rule, ten pieces of happy software, and belief implantation in the teacher's enlightenment stage are all in the belief level, how to clear the limited belief.
@ Liaocheng Wang Ning can accept the fact that children's exams are not ideal. You are an inclusive and understanding mother. There is not a child who is unwilling to get good grades in the exam. At that time, he will do his best [strong] [strong] [promotion].
Wang Ning, what do you do when the child is emotional? * * * Love? [Hug] [Hug]
Zhang Li, it's a good thing that you realized this in time. Allow yourself to have various emotions. Emotions are neither good nor bad, nor positive or negative. This is a kind of energy. As long as it allows him to show it naturally. It's best not to hurt others or yourself. Thank you for your honesty. How did you do it last night? What's the situation?
? Thank you, Sister Yun, for giving me advice after work and re-examining the problems. I found that there are many problems behind the small fish, which I didn't deeply perceive.
? Children are afraid of being accused by their mothers and looked down upon by their classmates. I feel the fear, fear, sadness and anxiety behind self-reproach, but I only care about my children verbally on the surface, not from the heart. My beloved son didn't feel more negative feelings of self-blame, so I should give them correct guidance. I tried to draw an iceberg map, and I got a deeper feeling [strong] [strong].