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Last week, my friend asked me questions about psychology. Because I study psychology, she wants me to give her some advice.
Since giving birth to her first child, she hasn't gone out to work much, because there is no old man at home to help with the children, which is also a helpless move.
Although I worked for a while in the middle, but intermittently, I still take care of my baby at home most of the time.
Yiyi is a person with a very good attitude. She has no idea about her work. I asked her out of curiosity.
I asked her, "Why do you want to learn knowledge so much? Do you have time to study with your two children now? "
She said: "If you want to study in fragmented time, if you don't study again, you will be abandoned by society."
I said, "Yes, people must keep learning."
She said: "I want to wait for my children to come out to work and realize my self-worth."
She said, "Yes, women should have their own self-worth and life pursuit."
She said, "How to be self-disciplined?"
I said, "The matter of self-discipline lies in how much you want it in your heart."
She said, "Yes, it depends on how strong your internal drive is."
For a treasure mother with two children, it is not common that many full-time treasure mothers are eager to learn to realize their self-worth.
Many women will have to leave the workplace to take care of their babies for various family reasons after marriage, and live a "three-point-one-line" life every day, including home, vegetable market, supermarket, kitchen, living room and bedroom.
Every day, busy life revolves around family and children, with little consideration for themselves. This is forced by reality, and it is also a kind of self-sacrifice and dedication to the family.
I also met many stay-at-home mothers, and I was still a little uncomfortable when I first returned home. They used to be elites in the workplace, and they also had good expectations and yearning for their careers.
Therefore, during the time when they return to their families, they will be very entangled and want to return to the workplace. But after a period of time, the busy days diluted their thoughts and desires, and they no longer had hope for their work or personal life pursuit. The only pursuit is to be a good wife and mother.
But there are also those mothers who don't want to be full-time mothers at home all their lives, so they will also consider the life and work of their children when they grow up, choose to study and do research during their babysitting.
But few treasure moms persist, because in the tedious days, they are not so eager for what they want except for not arranging time and not knowing self-discipline.
02
When Yi asked me about self-discipline, I wanted to tell her how to plan the time of the day, how to arrange the fragmentation time, and learn knowledge to the maximum extent.
But I didn't, because stay-at-home mothers have to face too many unexpected things every day, such as feeding their children, changing diapers, cooking, cleaning and so on.
I can't give specific advice, because I'm not her and I don't know what her daily life is like, but I can only tell her that self-discipline is how much you want it in your heart.
When you are desperate for something, you will try your best to overcome all difficulties and get it at all costs.
So, whether you want to learn or reinvent yourself, how much you want it, how self-disciplined you are.
I have always felt that dreams that only stay in the stage of "psychosexuality" are more pathetic than those who have no dreams at all.
People who have no dreams, at least, have never thought about it, and finally feel at ease; People who dream but don't act often just want to do it, or think too much and do too little, and they will be extremely painful because they have not achieved their goals, and they will be unhappy because they have not achieved their goals.
03
In Lao Wang's eyes, I am a self-disciplined person. No matter what I do, as long as I want to do it, I will get it at all costs.
He is often ashamed of himself, because he just wants to take no action.
I want to write and achieve something. I will study on my way to and from work and read books on weekends.
I want to have a good figure and keep my weight within a certain range, so I will keep running 2-3 times a week to control my appetite or snacks to some extent.
I want to have my own space and time, so I will choose to go shopping and chat with my friends on a weekend, and even have 1-2 personal trips a year.
I want to leave more time for my children, so I will finish my work at work every day and have enough time to spend with my children when I get home.
I want my child to develop a good habit of reading, so every night I will strictly ask myself to put down my mobile phone and accompany her to read.
In real life, there are too many things we want to have, but we never put them into action, let alone strictly demand ourselves, and finally stifle these ideas in the cradle.
Self-discipline is always the internal thinking that drives external action and execution.
Self-discipline, the more you think about it, the more self-discipline!
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Wan: Post-80s working mothers who care about women's growth, love life and writing, and share growth stories such as women's life, women's feelings and women's marriage.