1, without medical insurance and life insurance, don't try to be brave after dark. ...

2. Women often miss men so much; Men are often fickle with women.

3. I want to fall in love early, but it's already late.

I will miss you very much after you leave. Why don't you leave?

Do you think I will watch you die? I close my eyes.

6. I came quietly, walked quietly, waved a dagger, and left no one alive.

7. What is the biggest difference between Jesus and Sakyamuni? They have big curly hair and small curly hair.

8. Why are my eyes always full of tears? Because I pretend to be deep.

9. There are no windtight walls and no hanging beams.

10, when will there be a bright moon? See for yourself.

1 1, long-term separation, long-term separation; Drinking will drive you crazy. You will drink every glass of wine.

12, come back quickly, I can't fool you alone!

13, when a mouse gets angry, everyone is a sick cat.

14, I won't tell you if you kill me. You haven't done the honey trap yet.

15, don't ask me again: How have you been recently?

17, protect yourself and love others, please don't come out in the middle of the night to scare people.

18, yesterday, Chris Lee held a press conference in Changsha, Hunan. At the meeting, he responded positively to popular words and expressions widely circulated on the Internet for the first time, such as "Believe in spring, you will live forever". Chris Lee said, "Believe it or not, you will all die." Many reporters present shed tears of emotion!

19, learning to be silent, sleepy and bored. When reviewing before the exam, rest is the most difficult. How can you beat him and pile up the papers? It's sad to fail the exam, but this is the original question of the test paper. The bed is full of books, all of which have been turned over. Who wants to read them now? Watch the table, how to attack the problem alone? Mathematics is more physical. At dusk, I feel sad and anxious. This time, what a sad sentence.

20, a person's life is like taking a shit, sometimes you have worked hard, but all you can come out is fart.

2 1, if people don't attack me, I won't attack; If people offend me, comity three points; If people force me again, I'll give you an injection; People still attack me and kill the grass.

22, chess, calligraphy and painting are not good, washing and cooking are too tired.

23. Most beautiful women are similar, but ugly women are different.

24. A woman's wardrobe is like a harem. There are countless beautiful women, only a few of whom like it.

25. I would rather be proud and moldy than humble in love!

Non-mainstream QQ mood quotations-when there will be a bright moon, look up and see for yourself

Age is not a problem, height is not a problem of distance, and it is useless without feelings.

Whenever I find myself doing something wrong, I will hit someone on the head with a brick.

Listen, I allow you to like me. We have no choice but to grow old together.

A woman can have no figure or face. But he must not be blind.

My advantage is that I dare to admit my mistakes, but my disadvantage is that I will never change them.

E. I want to be an ant. I can be happy for half a year for a grain of rice.

Grab the child by the hand and drag him away. If you don't leave,

Looking at beautiful women in the street, looking up is appreciation, looking down is hooliganism.

Girls care about the happiness of the second half of their lives, while boys care about the comfort of the second half.

Cowardly power is always more fashionable than clothes. The old model is not out of date, and the new model is out again.

The ultimate dream of life. There is an ATM in the guest room.

Our agreement with each other is just a ridiculous joke, hiding from tears and giggling.

If the gas exhaled from the mouth is foggy and visible, it means that winter is coming.

Do these sneezes mean that I have a cold, or that someone is thinking about me?

I am a wooden head, no matter how you hurt it, you won't hurt it, because I am a wooden head.

Treat money like dirt and life! Always laughing, always ...

I don't believe that my rural gourd baby can't be the Altman of your city.

Mom said that she taught me all my good habits and learned all my bad habits.

The so-called loneliness is to live with someone you can't dig out anymore.

I found a mouse pad yesterday and wanted to match a computer. What did you say was missing?

For the sake of the next generation of the motherland, no matter how ugly, we should fall in love and talk about a world full of love.

You save 4.5 dollars, I save 4.5 dollars, and we can get married in the Civil Affairs Bureau.

I'm at the end of my rope now. It is not as good as your village.

Failure is success. Damn it, I already have many mothers, but none of them are pregnant.

Life is easy, life is easy, and life is not easy. There are many people and many things, not many people. Like me

I heard that the software of 250+ 1 10 can't log in, which is very painful, ha! This is a tragedy.

Are you an adult? You always scare children with society. Can you lose the dog?

▲-Why do you talk about my name behind my back as soon as I leave? If I say it, just ask me.

A good woman will never ask her man to buy this or that, and a good man will never wait for his woman to ask for it.

Don't live in an unreal world. Express your awesome power through voice (yy) every day. In fact, you are one.

Do you believe that I love you or that there are ghosts in the world?

I want to go to Ireland because the law there does not allow divorce.

When will there be tomorrow? Maybe, look up at yourself.

I am unknown in the world, and you turn all beings upside down in the vegetable market.

Nowadays, girls are really terrible, wandering around the street in vests and skirts in cold weather.

Since you love her so much, she is going to die. Why don't you die?

You are a respected QQ member, but I just can't afford your space yellow diamond.

ㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣ

ㄢㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣㄣ 12

The same is true of being called a general with a telescope on the battlefield and becoming a rogue at home.

Does the rose symbolize love because of its petals or its thorns?

No one is born strong and invincible, just don't want others to see their cowardice.

Members and Huang Zuan are both 10 yuan. What qualifications do you have to say that you are a member, more advanced than the yellow diamond?

Life is like Yico Zeng. If you go astray from the beginning, you will never go back.

I just want a birthday present. Not too demanding: I enlarged the photo and hung it on Tiananmen Square.

Me Before You, my world is black and white. After I met you, oh, Meg! It's all black ...

When the sauce of instant noodles changed from liquid to solid, I knew that winter was coming.

It's not good to look at you fiercely. It's better to look at you carefully.

They all say I'm beautiful. . I can only answer five words. . I don't even ask for anything.

You stole my heart. If you don't want it, I will kill you.

I want to eat sugar, I want sugar, I love sugar, I love sugar.

Confucius said: Sleepless at noon, collapse at noon. Mencius said: Confucius is right.

⒉⒉⒏⒋⒋⒈ Tiger, tiger's home, look at amaranth and mice.

Maybe I'm just a young man who has lost his ambition and shines in his old age.

It is very cold in winter. How did the earth do it? I want to learn from it.

You think you're gonna watch you die? I close my eyes.

Anyone who kisses wildly in front of the canteen, study room and teaching building.

You scold me because you don't know me. When you know me, you may draw a knife to kill me!

You're amazing. Who killed the victim in the morgue?

Funny quotations from classical philosophy-funny quotations

When will there be a bright moon? Ask your roommate about the wine. I wonder if the handsome guy next door has a girlfriend?

Although I am not very handsome, when I was a child, someone praised my left nostril as an idol.

Mom's suggestion: Daughter, you should eat a little properly to lose weight!

Spring is a period of high incidence of colds and feelings. Some people accidentally caught a cold, and some people accidentally fell in love. I belong to the former.

I am also an infatuated seed. It rained and drowned.

Money is not everything, sometimes it is needed.

I allow you to come into my world, but I will never allow you to walk around in my world.

God, did you let summer and winter live together? ! This kind of weather!

When the bird is big, there are all kinds of Woods!

Not afraid of enemies like tigers, but afraid of teammates like pigs.

Summer is not good. When I was poor, I didn't even have to drink the northwest wind. ...

Do whatever you want!

Don't call me if you have nothing to do, and don't call me if you have anything to do.

Do you think I'll watch you die? I close my eyes.

Angels can fly because they look down on themselves. ...

I want to puppy love, but it's too late. ...

Please don't speak English in front of me in the future, ok?

I hope that one day I can double-click my wallet with my mouse, then select a hundred-dollar bill, press "CTRLC" and keep "CTRLV" all the time.

I am a lonely tree, standing on the roadside for thousands of years, waiting alone, just because one day you pass me, I will fall for you, even if I don't smash you, I will live in vain.

Please raise your hand if you love me, and stand on your head if you don't love me.

Never hang yourself from a tree. You can try it several times in the surrounding trees.

Don't set the bank card password as your girlfriend's birthday, or you will always change it.

The happiest thing: sleep until you wake up naturally. Count the money and count the cramps in your hands. The saddest thing: sleep until your hand cramps, and count the money until you wake up naturally.

Money can buy a house, but not a home; Marriage, but not love; Clock, but can't buy time. Money is not everything, but it is the root of pain.

Everyone wants to be different from others, and everyone is the same as a result.

When we were young, we often made faces in the mirror. When we are old, the mirror is flat.

A scholar dies as a confidant, and a woman is a lover of herself.

If being rich is also a mistake, I'd rather repeat it.

People are afraid of famous pigs and strong, men are afraid of having no money and women are afraid of being fat.

The effect of contraception: if you don't succeed, you will become a' person'.

Asking how sad you can be is like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel.

Sleep is an art-no one can stop me from pursuing art.

If marriage is the grave of love, then I expect someone to bury me.

I am not a casual person. I'm not a person when I get up casually

To be a man, you must be a person who wanders between cow A and cow C.

You can go as far as you want.

Lie down where you fell.

Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

Lovers form families.

Your ugliness has nothing to do with your face …

A tree will die if it is not skinned; People are shameless and invincible in the world.

I will have a son named "handsome" in the future, so everyone will say "handsome dad" when they see me.

Work, take a step back, fall in love, take a step back, and people are empty.

The highest level of work is to watch others go to work and get their wages.

Money is not the problem, the problem is no money!

I was drunk and nobody obeyed, so I held the wall.

I am like a fly lying on the glass, with a bright future, but I can't find a way out.

You know what, big brother? Second brother's meat is now more expensive than master's.

If eating more fish can nourish the brain and make people smarter, then you should eat at least a pair of whales. ...

Clear water means no fish, while lowly people are invincible.

Youth is like toilet paper. It looks a lot, but it's not enough.

Friends around you, get famous quickly, so that my memoirs can sell well.

A female classmate is darker and her boyfriend is whiter. One day, the poison queen in the dormitory suddenly said to her, "You can't do this, you will have zebras."

I always treat handsome guys and money like dirt, and they always treat me like this.

Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compete with you.

God said, let there be light, and I said I opposed it, so the world was dark.

My name is God, my nickname is Jesus, my English name is God, and my dharma name is Tathagata …

The farmer's three punches hurt a little.

In fact, I have always been very popular: I was loved by everyone when I was a child, and now I am loved by a bitch.

Not afraid of enemies like tigers, but afraid of teammates like pigs.

Go your own way and let others take a taxi.

Rats are looking for cats all over the street with knives.

As long as you work hard, shit is serious.

Who runs fastest? It's Cao Cao (not Liu Xiang). Because speaking of the devil.

Only when there is a long queue at the railway station can we truly realize that we are "descendants of the dragon".

When spring comes, a flock of geese fly north, forming a B-shape for a while and a T-shape for a while.

Tigers don't show off. You think I'm HELLOKITTY!

Donkey, yes, read it backwards and follow it.

The highest state of self-help: help the wall in, help the wall out.

No money, no power, no matter how good it is for you, can you come with me?

Take a newspaper to the toilet. I am a scholar.

Go to Google and Baidu to see.

Women must be kind to themselves. Once you are exhausted, other women will spend your money, live in your room, sleep with your husband and beat your baby!

Grandpa comes from his grandson. ...

You can go as far as you want!

No one has blown cowhide so fresh and refined for a long time!

Boss, is money really that important to you? You talked for more than three hours and didn't leave a penny behind?

When I woke up, it was dark.

If I become a personnel manager, the first thing I will do is to promote myself to the boss.

I am losing weight except eating every day. You say I have no perseverance?

I won't tell you if I kill you.

Any problem that money can solve is not a problem.

After studying for more than ten years, I think it's better to mix kindergartens!

Even believe in advertisements. Are you stupid in your studies?

How to lose weight if you don't have enough food?

The early bird catches the worm, and the early worm is eaten by the bird.

God, my clothes have lost weight again!

Water can carry a boat and cook porridge.

Buying a computer without broadband is like becoming a monk without eating.

There is an old legend-people who can see beautiful women on XX campus will live forever.

Healthy and relaxed; Living is easy; Life is not easy.

My name in my girlfriend's mobile phone is "He". After breaking up, I became "it".

I am different from you because I am human.

I only drink pure water when drinking water and pure milk when drinking milk, so I am very simple.

God gave us youth and acne.

If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

Boys are poor, or don't know how to struggle, girls are rich, or they are coaxed away by a piece of cake.

Fate is responsible for shuffling cards, but it is ourselves who play cards!

Love is a kind of helplessness, being loved is a gesture, waiting for love is an expectation, and not loving is an ability.

The beauty of a woman lies in her unrepentant stupidity, and the beauty of a man lies in being a ghost every day.

Classic funny quotations about yourself

1, although I lied to you, you have to believe me! 2, life since ancient times, do not shit, a healthy every day.

3, money is a good medicine, and it has a blatant effect.

4, life can be done, life can also be exquisite!

5, handsome has a fart to use! Finally, I was eaten by a chess piece!

6. Old man and old man, wife, wife and wife.

7. How big your life is, how much homework you have.

8. Are you dissatisfied with the world when you grow up like this?

9. I don't know if loving you is a reason for caring.

10, wait for my comeback.

1 1. If you can't be his goddess, be your own queen.

12, if you want to pick the moon, please look at your altitude first.

13, or: Take other people's road and leave others with no choice.

14, some people, when making masks, look much better than real people.

15, I'm not your little raccoon. It's fun without you.

16, wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let others find it.

17 In fact, the Japanese know nothing except the Japanese.

18, men pretend to understand if they don't understand, but women are just the opposite.

19, don't think you are a gourd baby.

20. The most painful thing in the world is that you can't sleep well and be awakened by urine.

2 1, the departure of leaves, is it the tree's persistence or the pursuit of the wind?

22. They called me BT and asked me to do CT. And I got ET.

Although I can't help all sentient beings, I can hurt all people.

24. The bankruptcy of Durex is not a tragedy, but the bankruptcy of Durex is a tragedy.

25. Children's shoes, when you see an egg, throw it to them.

26. It doesn't matter if you swallow it.

27. Let me tell you what love is without words.

28. Half of life is bad luck, and the other half is dealing with bad things.

29. They said that the Internet was fake, and I laughed as if the reality was true.

30. You can't satisfy everyone, because not everyone is human!

3 1, Goose, cut the curve with a knife, pluck the hair and add water, light the fire and cover the pot!

32. Youth is like toilet paper. It looks a lot, but it's not enough.

Please don't say I've changed. Am I your wife or your mother?

Even if I were a toad, I would never marry my mother toad.

35. The three most romantic words are not I love you, but being together.

36. Fallen is not terrible. What is terrible is that when a person falls, he is sober!

37. Elder sister, I estimate that Nu Wa must have poured three catties of iron on your face when she gave birth.

38. Opportunity is like silence. As long as you hold them in your hand, they will grow bigger and bigger.

39. It's not you who keep me silent, but you make me speechless.

40, love is very humble, very humble. If the other person doesn't love you.

4 1, as the saying goes: peace of mind is natural and cool. So, I lay in bed and pretended to be dead.

42. Time is really precious, just one second before the toilet was taken away by others.

Dear, I believe you will conquer my parents and marry me home.

44. Women like ugly men, and don't like ugly men.

45, often walk by the river, how can there be wet shoes, since the shoes are wet, take a bath.

46. If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

47, so shameless, so heartless, your weight should be very light?

48. I have nothing to fear. Since I came into this world, I have no intention of leaving alive.

49. I deliberately study, work, live and live like a person!

50. It is said that all men are liars. Who knows how many men have been cheated by women.

5 1, I thought I was decadent, and only today did I know that my morning paper was scrapped.

52. You think you are a saint, but in fact you are just a mental derangement among human beings.

53. If one day you suddenly turn around, will you bump into me in a mess?

54.who do you think you are? You are the spilled water. I don't even want a basin.

In fact, in the end, we will all go online and offline on other people's MSN.

56. You're a bitch, always trying to sow discord between us and our parents.

57. Everyone says I am an actor, because I see beautiful mm with round eyes.

58. In the first 22 years of my life, I was rejected three times and twice. At present, I am leading by 3: 2.

59. Do you think I will watch you die? I close my eyes.

60. I don't know whose wife is in my bed, and neither does my wife!

6 1. If you see a shadow in front of you, don't be afraid, it's because there is sunshine behind you.

62. I really want to hold you from now on and hold you tightly until I come to God.

You can see the words I typed on the screen, but you can't see the tears I dropped on the keyboard.

64. The world belongs to us and our sons, but it ultimately belongs to our children and grandchildren.

65. Who did you make that expression with? I owe you an overdue loan or something.

66. When I get angry, winter comes; When you get angry in winter, you become a long-sleeved man.

67. Give you the heaviest dung gift in history, and you will definitely eat a catty.

I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am in front of you!

69. I drown my sorrows in wine, but this damn pain taught me to swim.

70. You dare to talk to me about basketball even if you don't know Beckham!

7 1, romance without money, I can hold your hand and stroll on the beach covered with white sand.

72. God gave us worldly desires, but we turned them into pornography and violence.

73. The physical education teacher in junior high school said: Whoever dares to wear a skirt to my class again will be punished for handstand.

74. Although I can't be a descendant of the rich, I must be an ancestor of the rich.

75. When I grow up, I want to cut my hair short. Long hair and short knowledge show that I have culture.

76, my principle is: people don't commit me, I don't commit crimes; If someone attacks me, I will be angry!

77. Blind people touching elephants may not be a kind of stupidity, or a kind of wisdom, or even tolerance.

I don't know why, as long as you are by my side, my heart is no longer uneasy.

79. Living in this era of grass mud horse, we must look for his sister with an attitude of everything.

80.men conquer women by conquering the world! Women conquer the world by conquering men!

8 1, do a good job, teach students well, make a good website, be a good writer and live a good life.

82. When I grow up, I want to marry Tang Yan as my husband. If I want to be lucky, I will be. If I don't want to play, I will eat him.

83. Women have no so-called loyalty. As long as someone who is better to her appears, she will change her mind.

84. In public, I often choose politeness, but in private, I often insult my manners.

85. When I was a child, I always thought that there were only two countries in the world, one was China and the other was a foreign country.

86. If you can't dress the woman you love, please stop your unbuttoning hand.

87. Once in a while, you will feel that it is great to live in silence, but it is miserable to live in silence.

88. Don't pour all the dirty water on yourself when you do something wrong. I have to save it for flushing the toilet.

89, also because of loneliness, talked about several times in love. Who knows that it is easy to be kicked after repeated battles and defeats!

I have no regrets about my life, but I feel guilty in my heart. As long as I don't die, I will earn RMB to the end!

9 1, I can answer blows with blows when I am scolded by strangers, but I can't stand being hurt by people I know.

92. What do you write? Do you believe it when you write it? What? You really believe it, how so naive!

93. If eating more fish can nourish the brain and make people smart, then I should eat at least a pair of whales.

If the sun doesn't come out, I won't go to work. If I come out, I'll go back to sleep!

95. I am like a fly lying on the glass. I have a bright future, but I can't find a way out

96. If you can't dress your woman in a wedding dress, don't stop you from unbuttoning her clothes!

97. You who love to talk and laugh are always unforgettable. So, you became my partner in OICQ world.

98. If every girlfriend uses a word instead, my love story can be written into a novel.

99. The advantage of news simulcast is that even if you keep changing channels, you can watch a piece of news completely.

100, you are not just greedy. You can't cancel it when you see the chrysanthemums in full bloom. It's just blooming.