2. Look at yourself. What is the most important thing after lovelorn? I don't give up on myself, I don't lower myself and beg for salvation, and I don't express how much I love and like each other. The most important thing is to return to yourself and reflect on yourself. Is it more appropriate to see what you are doing in love? With these reflections, you can better know where your problems are.
3. Investigate the relationship and the mode of getting along. Look at yourself and then look at the reasons. Are you really suitable? Does the family background match? Where is the contradiction? Is there a big problem with the mode of getting along?
Based on everyone's different experiences, there will be different ways to get along in the relationship. In a certain mode of getting along, the points that two people don't like each other will begin to increase, which will lead to conflicts between two people. However, people always change slowly, so they can't face the frequent new problems.
Dealing with a new relationship with the old mode of getting along will inevitably lead to the same problem.
4. repair self-boundaries. We are too involved in an intimate relationship, which will always make some of our self-boundaries collapse, and the pain after lovelorn is actually gradually repairing our collapsed self-boundaries. When our psychological boundary is repaired, we can get out of the shadow of lovelorn and grow up because of this break.
5, adhere to the independent self. Insist on yourself and remain independent, which should run through the whole process of love. Its core connotation is to change from caring for each other to caring for yourself. Maintaining an independent personality requires us to love each other when we are in love, but at the same time, we should love ourselves and respect each other's opinions, but at the same time, we should also hold our own life plans.
At the same time, maintaining an independent self also requires us to look at our past feelings rationally, see the pain brought by love and the sweetness brought by love, so as to feel it more comprehensively.
6. reshape the concept of love. True love does not depend on dependence or habit to be together, but on the attraction of two people. When the other party finds that you look better on the outside, your thoughts are more mature and your overall charm is more attractive, it will naturally lead to the idea of falling in love with you. Many times, some things are beyond your control. It is better to be yourself first and improve some of your original problems, and many things will follow. If you don't solve the problems left by each relationship, or you can't get out at all, the same problems will still appear in the next relationship.
Every love is an opportunity for self-growth, just like school. You broke up because you graduated. Even if you don't want to, you should keep your energy and continue to the next school with what you have learned in the past. But if you leave with hurt and resentment, or don't want to graduate unilaterally at all, you will never get along in your love life, or even be a poor student.
In the emotional school, if you can't study hard, maybe you can find a training class and try to improve yourself, such as a reliable psychological counselor, so that you can know yourself better and love yourself more. In a speech, Hawking was asked: "When a member of a band leaves and breaks the hearts of countless girls all over the world, what kind of cosmic effect will these things have?"
Hawking replied: "I suggest young girls pay more attention to the study of theoretical physics, because one day, there may be evidence that there are multiple universes, and it is not impossible to have a different universe somewhere outside our universe."
Anything can happen in that universe.
If you are still in pain, look up at the stars. Perhaps in that universe, we have no pain, no worries, and no sad lovelorn.