I always hear the word "brother's helper" In fact, many girls didn't want to be their brother's helper at first. At least, after they get married, they want to live a good life.

But my brother asked her for money, and her parents even asked her for money, even saying something excessive, forcing the girl to take out money to subsidize her family; This will not only affect the harmony of family relations, but also affect the woman's own marriage.

Girls who have younger brothers sometimes don't really want to help their younger brothers and parents, but are "supported" by their parents. Parents say, "What does it matter if you help your younger brother?"

Faced with such a situation, girls have to choose to compromise, even if they have a bad life, they should subsidize their parents and younger brothers.

If you want family harmony, everyone should play a good role; Parents should not force their children to do things they don't want to do. As a man, the younger brother should be responsible and lonely, and the girls should subsidize their families on the premise of living a good life.

The same thing happened to one of my female readers.

Female readers said that when they got married, they thought they could get rid of the entanglement between their younger brother and parents, but they were forced by their parents and younger brother and lost their marriage.

First of all, the female reader spoke:

28 years old, married for 2 years, no children. My marriage was ruined by my family.

There is also a younger brother, 22 years old, who just graduated and is in the internship stage.

The fuse that led to my divorce was that my mother called me a few days ago and said that my brother had just graduated, and she planned to let me pay 1.5 million to buy a house for my brother. Parents took out 200 thousand and paid 350 thousand down payment to their younger brother.

When I got married, my deposit was just 65,438+10,000 yuan, which means I want 50,000 yuan from my husband. In fact, I really didn't intend to give the money at that time, but in the end my mother said some cruel words:

It's not easy for us to raise you for so many years. Your brother has graduated now and has no house. It is not easy to get married in the future. Take this money out. You have no mortgage anyway.

Indeed, when my husband and I got married, the house that my husband bought in full was not mine, although my husband's family was in good condition.

Before I got married, I had to give my brother living expenses every month. My parents do odd jobs in the countryside. I have saved 200,000 yuan all my life, and I have to buy a house for my brother.

I remember when I first started working, I only earned 2K a month. I had to buy clothes for my brother and give my parents 500 yuan. Only 1000 yuan is left to pay rent and living expenses, and sometimes only steamed bread and pickles can be eaten for a month.

But I can't. My parents say a word and I will give them money. Sometimes I don't want to give them money, but another voice in my heart tells me: they are your parents, he is your brother, you should be filial, you are a family.

Every time I am particularly tortured, I am mentally tortured. It seems that if I don't give them money, I am not filial; But giving them money, I can't even save my own life.

I have been working for more than six years, and I have given my family almost 65,438+10,000. Although this money is not much, it is already my limit. After we got married, my husband and I kept our income separately. He kept the money he earned and I kept the money he earned.

Because I have no plans to have children for the time being, I want to wait and be more stable.

After two years of marriage, I have been secretly subsidizing my family. After my husband learned it several times, he said it was hard to understand: What did your parents do for you? Now you have to subsidize your family like this. Will you be a brother's assistant? What if we have children in the future?

Every time I hear my husband say this, I feel sad, too.

This time, my parents asked me for 1.5 million, and I really had no choice. I have to discuss such a big matter with my husband.

Then my husband was very angry. He said: Give me the money if you want, and then we will get a divorce.

In the end, I had no choice. I sent a message back to my mother: I have no money. Don't push me again. I almost got divorced by you.

After several discussions, my husband was particularly embarrassed to see me. He decided to pay 50 thousand to buy a house for my brother, but in fact it was only 50 thousand When I first heard about it, my husband told me that I was getting a divorce.

Sometimes it's really desperate to think about it. It's really hard to have a vampire-like parent. I want to have a good marriage and a small family. My brother has worked, and he will have his own family in the future.

Why should I spend money when he can get it himself?

I also want to especially thank my husband for understanding my difficulties; I have also decided that after giving this money, I won't help my brother any more.

As for my parents, I will give them living expenses every month when I need to support the elderly; But now, I'm a little busy, I just want to take care of my little family first.

Thanks to my parents, I was divorced once, but in the end my husband stood by me to protect me; If there is a next time, I hope I can learn to refuse.

Second, the author doubts:

1. All "brother-raising demons" often live in families that prefer sons to daughters.

If you look carefully, you will find that those girls who help their brothers passively have lived in a family that values boys over girls since childhood.

Parents have been partial to their younger brothers since childhood. What are the benefits? Think about your brother first. As a sister, in the eyes of parents, you must help your younger brother.

But in fact? Those enlightened parents will love their daughters more because they know that it is difficult for them to get married in the future.

Parents don't attach importance to their daughters and always ask too much of them, which will not only hurt their daughters, but also hurt their marriage.

2. If you want to improve your happiness, you must first learn to refuse.

Although those are your parents and your brothers, for yourself, you should put your family first; If you have children, your own life is already very difficult. Why do you have to bite the bullet and help your brother?

What's more, in the matter of buying a house, he just started working and has no ability to make money. Even if he bought it, how can he repay the mortgage?

Therefore, if you want to improve your happiness, you must first learn to refuse.

The affection between children and parents should be upward, and we should find ways to make each other live well, instead of just asking for it.

You can be filial to your parents and help your brother when he is particularly difficult and can't handle things, but don't help him too much.

After all, you are not alone in your marriage, but also your husband and your children.