How do you understand "separation of heart"?

Have you ever been troubled by separation?

Do you remember anything when you see this word?

First of all, I want to talk about why I started to "think" about this problem. When I first started practicing, I often flashed some ideas, which made me feel, oh, it seems that I did something wrong. Although I don't want to admit it in my heart, I may find countless excuses to prove that I am right.

But I deeply understand that I need to face all this. In the face of some things, I didn't do so well. Although my heart is good, it may be in the wrong way and make others feel uncomfortable. Only by admitting that you are wrong can you let go of your arrogance and persistence, continue to make this relationship more complete and make yourself truly empty.

Sometimes, I also feel that others have done something wrong, misunderstood me. I would think, should I explain to him? How can I explain my thoughts without falling into judgment? Especially for some close friends, it is easy to fall into judgment. It is possible that some small problems will lead to contradictions or entanglements, and they will be buried in their hearts.

I am thinking, why is this cycle? Why do people always fall into judgment and confrontation? And the more people care about and love, the easier it is to have such troubles. Reluctant to let go, reluctant to empty.

Later, I thought that the root of this trouble came from the "separation of hearts." I think this "separation from the heart" can also be understood as "judging the heart", judging others with your own thinking, rather than understanding him from the perspective of others. It can also be understood as "the heart of comparison." Obviously, two people are different, but they have to compare, especially comparing their own shortcomings with the advantages of others, which is full of troubles.

Because of this "separation of hearts", we are stuck in a deadlock or crisis, trapped in a small room with self-difficulties, and entangled in self-pity. Over time, we may become "victims", becoming more and more vulnerable and angry.

Everyone knows this is not good, but maybe we have all experienced this moment. In the last six months or so, I feel that I have watched this happen around me many times. Many people tell me their troubles in private, in fact, because they are trapped in such a plot.

To give a very simple example, many people may have experienced it. There are many people who study actively at first and make rapid progress. As a result, after a while, they started to go to into the pit.

There are countless such treasures in schools all over the country. In fact, this is the problem of thinking mode. If you feel that you have lost your energy and contact, then come and contact with everyone, attend more classes and pay more, and you will soon be able to maintain your energy.

For us, it actually makes no difference, and we don't judge everyone for it. But many people especially judge themselves and others, and only use their own way of thinking to measure others. Then, wronged, pitiful, hiding from crying, this is a lot of plots for yourself.

What we are best at is judging ourselves. Sometimes if we judge ourselves too much, we will turn to others, especially those close to us. Because we will feel that if I love you so much, you should understand me, and you should bear everything and face everything with me. Of course, you have to accept my judgment, my willfulness and all kinds of knives, otherwise how can you love me?

I was such a wayward little girl a long time ago. In fact, all judgments are based on the supremacy of "self" and self-centeredness. It is also because I lack true love and unconditional love, so I ask for it all the time, asking others to love me, asking others to accommodate myself, and asking others to meet my own standards, just like a child who has always loved.

If you understand that you are "loveless", just express your needs and love directly, instead of asking for love, attacking or proving in various ways. I see that in many relationships, when a person finds many reasons to prove that you are not good to me and that you don't love me enough, it even turns into attacks, abuse and complaints in the end. In fact, it is because of lack of love, or you simply don't understand what kind of love is unconditional love.

It is impossible for a person to have no "separation of mind" at all. I can only say that we can try not to be hindered by "separation of mind and mind", try not to be disturbed and stay calm. But if you can't even think about it, what you need is long-term focused practice to get yourself into an ethereal state.

At the beginning, we really had to face our own old patterns and all kinds of inner drama. You can really start to understand yourself and face the persistence or judgment you may fall into. If you think what others should do, you are all right and others are all wrong, or you are mostly right and others are mostly wrong, then be careful. Your arrogance, persistence and separation come out.

At this time, we can learn to face this "self", satisfy this "self" first, and tell ourselves, well, I actually lack love at this time, and I want to get love and recognition from others in some way. Stop and think about how to get love. At this time, you can slowly walk out of your own plot and stand by and watch yourself, instead of blindly falling into it and giving yourself all kinds of drama.

The more I play, the more I feel that others are hateful, others are scum, others are good and bad, and others are actually quite innocent. Because he doesn't know that he has become such a role in your heart, and you will get farther and farther away from love, dragged down by those fears and anxieties and fall to the bottom. This vicious circle needs to stop itself and maintain consciousness in order to stop it in time.

I believe many people stay in this mode. The time of falling into it can be long or short. If you don't come out in time, it's only your own pain. I'm thinking that this "separation of hearts" is mainly due to an obsession with love, which must be conditional and replaceable. We all have "differences", but it is important for you to realize at once that it is not taken away by it.

I used to say that adults have no grievances and children have no gratitude. Think about it. Is this mentality of being easy to judge, to separate and to obtain very much like a child who has not yet grown up? So we should pay attention to ourselves. When we fall into that child's state, it is actually an ignorant state of losing self-awareness.

In my opinion, many children live more soberly than so-called adults. At least, children are more willing to be empty and believe in love than some adults. Once caught in this separation, it is easy to produce greed, ignorance and doubt, as well as all kinds of self-persistence.

I also think this kind of "heart separation" really hurts people, not only for myself, but also for those closest to me. Because if you want to create separation, you will definitely point the finger at the people closest to you first. In fact, people around us are sometimes quite innocent, because he doesn't know when you will make up a bunch of plots for him, and how he will cooperate with you to perform before he can finish.

Some people have been accommodating and acting with each other, but they can live like this all their lives anyway. But I don't want to live like this, and I don't want to play with me, so I'm thinking about how to break it.

First of all, it is particularly necessary to keep the "empty" state. It is when you fall into these plots, judgments and emotions that you should be willing to let yourself be empty, stop acting and give up this model. This model can't bring you real love, but it will make you farther and farther away from love.

The cup you once loved was a mess, and it was poured by yourself and others, so that you couldn't love it cleanly and simply. Then you should wash your cup first, instead of forcing others to drink water with your dirty cup. We don't carry this pot. Of course, if you like feeding each other very much, please ignore what I said. One is willing to fight, and the other is willing to suffer.

When you meet someone who does this to you, don't persuade, don't persuade. Because everyone's consciousness is different, others will not listen to you. Anyway, for me, unless he is willing to believe and come here to study, I won't say a word. Shut up and I can only be myself.

You can only cover your mouth, turn around and leave, and close the door. Don't let him feed that cup of dirty water into your mouth. Protecting yourself is the first priority, there is no need to lose both sides. This "empty" state is to make yourself clean and clear. You should be willing to be "empty" so that you won't be trapped by love and won't be taken away by others every minute. You ask for it all the time, and finally you can't get love.

I don't think it's difficult at all. I can only say that you can feel it at any time and put it down at any time. We have to face the impermanence of reality, and separation and arrogance may rise in minutes. Just less and less, less and less will not affect you and hinder you. Even my master dare not say that he has nothing, and I dare not say so. As long as we live in this world, we may face our greed and ignorance from time to time, and don't fantasize that we have become gods.

You must understand that you are only one person, so greed, ignorance and paranoia are normal, and you must always adhere to practice.

If you always want to keep yourself right and prove yourself right, you will fall into the pit if you are not careful. Many times, because I don't want to admit that I have so many imperfections, I have to take other people's things, let others take the blame, and even doubt and slander others. This is also a sign of your immaturity and lack of love.

Once such thoughts appear, the most important thing is not to let yourself think and doubt like this, but to practice meditation and let go of this obsession. Let yourself be as empty as possible in order to be willing to see more of your own good and others' good. Otherwise, it is easy to regard others as their own opposites and get caught up in entanglement and struggle instead of winning through cooperation. In fact, the "others" at this time are just your own "imaginary enemies".

Cry if you want, and don't cry if you don't want. Why bother? Don't judge yourself. It is good to show compassion when you have the opportunity to do more, without thinking about whether you have done enough.

I say this today because I hope you can put down your knife. If a person is good at judging himself, he will certainly be good at judging others. We can embrace impermanence and the people we love more, instead of carrying knives with us at all times.

The more you are afraid of being hurt, the more you have to love yourself. If you like yourself, you don't need to make demands all day, and you don't need to expect others to love you. Like what I'm doing now, I just make myself empty. Others can't hurt me, and I don't want to hurt anyone. Let's open our hearts and love each other. Why not?

If I feel a little uncomfortable and sometimes get stuck, I will meditate and think about how to love others better. Although others may not have learned to let go of separation, in some ways, they all want to be loved, then I just love her, not quarrel with her.

Everyone wants to be loved unconditionally. I just need to be myself and love unconditionally. Anyway, sometimes thinking about it is to eliminate all kinds of karma and break all kinds of persistence. All my classes are for me to practice, and don't interfere with other people's classes too much, just grow up with me and be a groundwater.

It is extremely important to keep your heart and take back your hand. Teacher Yan Sun said that it is the most important thing to turn love into unconditional love. No matter how others treat us, we love and achieve unconditionally with a bodhi heart. In fact, the most comfortable thing in my life is myself.

Many people may not understand, do not want to understand, and do not want to let go of self and persistence, because they are still pursuing a very narrow love. But in the process of spiritual practice, we may have let go of all kinds of personal love and gradually moved towards the love of the greater self. In order to achieve more people, we are willing to let go of many obsessions a little bit. Although there are still many things to do, this is what we have to do in this life.

I can already feel that this freedom to let go at any time, compared with before, has put down many kinds of persistence, but there will be new ideas, new persistence, new ignorance and new troubles at any time. It can only be said that through practice, we can feel more keenly than many people and let go faster than many people.

In fact, I still can't forget it, mainly because I didn't have too many obstacles first. I also enjoy being so carefree with everyone, and sometimes I get disconnected. Although it is short, I just understand that I don't need to judge myself, I just need love.

Being able to realize this is that you can really grow up inside, and you don't have to give the remote control to others. Our group is a real energy field. We take the initiative to contact, try not to drop the line, it's okay to drop the line, just come back by yourself.

Today, Teacher Yan Yan is talking about this topic, which is particularly important. Separation makes everyone can't see the whole picture, because everyone only accepts what they want to accept, escaping from the actual existence but not wanting to face (accept) the other side.

It's like people only like to listen to their own good and bad, but don't listen, or simply don't listen, or even avoid it. As far as the school circle in our country is concerned, in fact, separation is one of the main reasons for people's insecurity.

Do you know what is the root of separation? I have it, too. Sometimes I am separated because I feel "I am too important." How can we make other views exist? I take myself too seriously and divide it everywhere.

Breaking this separation is actually very simple. A common word is "Buddhism" What Buddhists call "Buddha nature" is also "emptiness". Even oneself are empty, everything is empty, what is there to argue about?

We look at everything. If we can rise to this level, you will find that what is yours and mine and what is his and hers are all lies. When you have no difference, you can see everything and everything is under your control. At this time, your judgment and balance are the most comprehensive thinking.

Go back to the conceptual model of kindergarten we talked about before. The teacher takes care of two children, and if you fight again, can this kindergarten be established?

Mode determines the result. Zen merchants are very upset, why others see the enemy, because they don't have this word in their minds. Because people who really have Zen business thinking have bodhicitta and compassion. Zen business thinking is closer to Buddhism.

One of the many conclusions reached by the Buddha is that there is no real evil in this world, only ignorance, only prejudice caused by ignorance, misunderstanding caused by prejudice and wrong behavior caused by misunderstanding.

Therefore, Zen merchants will actually show compassion when they see the paranoia and evil behavior of profiteers and magic merchants. How ignorant they are! I wanted to help them more, but if I couldn't help them at that time, I chose to stay away from being a clay idol.

In fact, what we hope more is that we should not only "know" but also "know". Knowing and doing will be extremely powerful. Everyone has his own family and small circle, and all kinds of irritating things often happen in these places.

Like my family, there are always angry things. Whenever I know that I will be angry for the first time, I find that I am judging this matter by other people's standards, or I don't look at it with a newer consciousness.

The same thing, a group of close relatives will give countless justified reasons and practices, and these are the consistent handling methods of many generations of neighbors around.

You came to me today in a completely different way. They may think I'm different from them. At this time, I am most easily controlled by their separation.

There are many conditions for one thing, and it will also produce different results. It is also necessary to make the most appropriate action response from time to time according to the situation.

Especially now it's New Year's Eve. You may spend more time with your family, and you may meet old friends and classmates when you go home. Everyone has changed a lot, and separation will be better reflected.

Talking about this topic today is also a lifelong problem. Let's digest it and let's call it a day.