Female readers often ask, "Why can't I meet a good man? It's 25 (or 30) at first glance, and it's urgent at home? " At first, I would ask, "What is a good man?" I can't say clearly, I can only describe some details until a reader in Wuhan directly told me a term: "24 filial boyfriends".

The standard is very long. I found a simplified version: go to the hall, go to the kitchen, be filial to parents, take care of my wife, take care of my children, and make money and manage my finances. Will educate children and understand life. High moral character, good temperament and emotional appeal.

Comparatively speaking, I attend classes (weak interpersonal relationship), can cook (but there are not many kinds), be filial to my parents (but I didn't take the civil service exam as required by my parents), love my children (childless), make money (only average), manage money (lost in the stock market yesterday), educate my children (childless, it should be no problem), understand life (failed this time), and have a high moral character.

Therefore, I don't meet the standard of "24 filial piety and good boyfriend", so I'm not a good man.

But good men are not born, and these simplified standards are almost all formed the day after tomorrow, especially some details simply go against men's instinct. For example, good temperament and sensibility. Believe me, a man's instinct is to knock himself out when he meets a woman and carry him to the cave. It is not suitable for children. The romance of candlelight dinner is absolutely counterintuitive. Candles must be placed on problems that can be solved by knocking on a stick. This instinctive thing must be learned.

For animals whose lower body controls the upper body, good temperament is the upper body behavior formed in order to achieve the purpose of the lower body. A little roundabout, isn't it? How can I carry you to the cave without confusing you? Good people are made, not born.

I have a classmate. Since I met him, he has shown a strong ability to capture single or unmarried female classmates. Standing next to him, I will fail if he gets full marks. If asked how he did it, he would just say, "I don't know."

In fact, the reason is very simple. He hit it off with girls from the beginning when he was conscious of men and women, so this "catching ability" was gradually formed in the training year after year. He knows what girls think and how to cater to or restrain them.

In other words, countless girls are the shapers of his character, that is, coaches.

I just watched him change girlfriends like a merry-go-round, and I was surprised that every girlfriend would not hate him. This is not a gift, it is the result of training.

Another kind of "good guy" is the result of training. In places like People's Square and Pedestrian Street, men who dress up to shine at the moment often strike up a conversation and ask for their phone numbers.

For example, a conversation may be: "I saw you and thought you were elegant, so I asked you for your mobile phone number." The tutor may ask that the strike-up line should not be logical (girls are naturally immune to logical strike-up lines), so this is an illogical reason.

They will stand in front of the girls' left or right professionally, as if they were blocking them. If they don't get the call, they will never pester and turn around and leave. If two girls go shopping together, they will first strike up a conversation with the weaker one and then ask her, "May I know your friend?" . If you are accosted by the duo, please observe a moment of silence.

Of course, it is not important to strike up a conversation. They think that as long as they take the initiative to speak within 3 seconds, they will win half the battle.

This kind of person is sent by the "mentor" to practice and practice chatting up. A patient person can chat up dozens of people in an hour and get 5- 10 mobile phone numbers. So, the next time you are stopped and accosted, don't secretly rejoice, because you may be regarded as an exercise.

After chatting up, the tutor will teach them how to flirt with girls on WeChat, QQ and telephone, and invite girls to date themselves. Dating will be very professional, which will give you a feeling of "good temperament and emotional appeal". After several dates, I will try physical contact (such as holding hands or kissing), and then I will find a chance to go to the hotel.

All behaviors are "perfect". When men and women are finished, they will hold the girl gently, talk softly and comfort, and talk sweetly. The woman felt that she had met the only thrill, only to find that her WeChat was hacked in a few days. I went to the work unit he mentioned (probably a very high unit) and found that the address was a hotel. In the end, it was just a date. This kind of man may post stories or photos in the internal QQ group, saying, "What are the results of the female white-collar workers (female college students) who have lasted for a few days today?" There are even "unruly" people wandering among many girls who chat up, as long as the other party is not pregnant, they will not find out (if they are pregnant, they will be blacked out), just like Hua.

These are two ways for good people to be born.

Are these two kinds of men what you need?

I have come into contact with many female readers. In fact, what people expect is a "man with a family" rather than a "good man".

I have a classmate from Jilin University, whose major is very unpopular, but very wise. She is a girl who is popular with boys and calls herself a "good man training school". From childhood to marriage, I only talked about love once, and my husband was the first love.

She has the ability to turn any suitor into a male friend, and the other person will graduate from her soon and then go to find the next girl. I once joked with her that I should chase after you so that I could graduate, and I would chase after girls one by one in the future.

Her husband is also an idiot. Under her constant cultivation, he has gradually become an ideal boyfriend, a good husband and her own.

You see, good husbands are all cultivated by themselves. Reader X is a Beijing girl who is 30 years old after Singles Day.

She has been in love several times, but all failed without exception. To sum up, X thinks she is cultivating a good husband for others. She vowed to find a man who has been in love at least twice in the future and never do "public welfare" again.

The problem is herself.

I have been in love for four times, and each time I ended in failure, from 22 to 30 years old, for eight years, with an average of two years. And without exception, boys pursued her, and finally the boys dumped her.

I said, let me tell you another version of your past:

Every boy is attracted by your external conditions. They approach you and think you are the only one. These four boys are attracted to you without exception and become your boyfriends. You have a lot of demands on your boyfriend, whether excessive or reasonable. At the beginning, they all did this.

This is actually like a volcano, and the rushing magma is strongly suppressed under the surface by you. Finally, one day, they were tired, and there appeared another girl as attractive as you, even more attractive than you. They cheated.

With you, the more they satisfy your fantasy about your boyfriend, the faster they run away. Especially your last boyfriend, because of the first three boyfriends, you held him tight, so you broke up the fastest, didn't you?

Training boyfriends is a technical job. If you are willing to wait for another woman to train you, it is equivalent to picking up a ready-made one. Then you can't complain that he has an ex-girlfriend, not to mention that he may leave you easily.

You can't meet a "good man" because you are not a "good woman".

This is not chicken soup for the soul, not an inspirational story, but a slightly warm reality. When one day you are willing to grow long hair for him, slim down for him, and study for him, you will no longer ask him to do this or that. When he works overtime, he will no longer complain that he is not around, but take the initiative to care about him and will be willing to coquetry in front of him (instead of using coquetry as a bargaining chip). In other words, when you become a real woman in love, you deserve a good man. Your exclusive good man.