Chapter 1: Do you psychologically "remove makeup" every day?

Chapter two: forbearance or venting?

Chapter Three: Eliminating Autism in Cities

Do you wear a mask to work? Then you should always take off your mask after work! How to remove makeup? How to judge whether my makeup remover is clean or unclean?

Do you psychologically "remove makeup" every day?

For women who wear makeup, the first thing they usually do after returning home is to remove makeup. While removing makeup, did you do "psychological makeup removal"? Do you still wear the boss mask in front of your husband? Will you say "nothing" to your boyfriend with a smiling face when you are angry, and then sleep alone in a sulk? If you have similar behavior, it means that your psychological makeup remover is not clean today.

Makeup: A "Perfect" Mask

No matter which company Liu Yuan works for, she has the same feeling-"tired". When talking about her "tired", "I always feel that I did something wrong yesterday" and "I feel that the leader seems dissatisfied with my report", these sentences appear frequently. She is particularly afraid of offending people, so she is very careful with her colleagues. One day after work, she forgot to say goodbye to the little girl at the front desk, and called her at night to apologize and say that she was rude. She is always worried that what she says will make others feel dissatisfied and always hesitates when expressing her opinions. She always wants to be "perfect", but makes her colleagues think she is hypocritical.

Psychoanalysis:

People who put on a "perfect" mask for themselves are highly sensitive to other people's comments. They want to be the best in others' eyes. At the same time, they are more demanding of others and more sensitive to their own shortcomings. If a person's behavior disappoints them, they will completely lose their affection for this person. People wearing perfect masks not only make themselves very tired, but also make people around them very uncomfortable.

Focus on makeup removal,

People wearing "perfect" masks will particularly suppress their nature, and being unable to breathe for a long time will cause psychological imbalance. Therefore, such people should pay special attention to how to relax themselves when psychologically removing makeup. When he/she relaxes slowly, he/she will show a more natural and uninhibited side.

Taking off the perfect mask will not happen overnight. It is recommended to start with meditation when removing makeup, sit cross-legged every day before going to bed 10- 15 minutes, and take good care of your heart for one month. Next, you can try to arrange some new and bad projects for yourself every week. For example, if you are not good at outdoor sports, you can join an outdoor activity organization to learn rock climbing. When you gradually begin to realize that you are not good at many things and have the courage to explore, your id will not be suppressed by the mask of "perfection" every day.

Make-up: the mask of "the strong"

Xia Tong is a shrewd general manager of the company, with loving husband and wife and clever children. To outsiders, this family is very happy, but only Xia Tong knows that in the past year, she didn't leave the office until after 8 pm almost every day, and work became the main source of stress in her life. When she got home, her mind was full of work. She always feels that her husband "interferes" with her work and she needs privacy. In fact, most of the time, her husband can only see her after 9 pm. How can this interfere with her work?

Psychoanalysis:

Once the time of work takes up the time of life, people will unconsciously take home the "strong" role they play at work. Faced with the demands of family members to "watch TV together" and "walk together", they will also go to work, which is considered as interference. Usually, the more responsible people are, the more they can't take off the mask of the strong.

Focus on makeup removal,

Advise those who wear the mask of "the strong" to put down their responsibilities and just stand up and speak. The most effective way to take off the masks of the strong is to help the wearers of these masks make better use of their time. You can make a timetable, do things according to this timetable, and try to finish everything within the time limit stipulated in the timetable. Explain in detail how much time your job will take up in your life. Gradually, you can take off the mask of the strong before you go home.

The mask of poverty.

Xiao Rao is a girl with a good temper and is very popular at work. Everyone is willing to help her, but sometimes Xiao Rao makes too many mistakes, and almost all the people in the same department help her clean up the mess: accompanying her to work overtime to recalculate the data she miscalculated; Help her finish the report that she delayed. Although all the colleagues in the office like Xiao Rao very much, there are still many colleagues who complain and quarrel with her because she is "irresponsible". Xiao Rao always looks miserable at this time, and his colleagues can't help her. In fact, she is not happy in her heart, but every time something goes wrong, she still feels that wearing the mask of the poor seems to be more conducive to getting out of trouble.

Psychoanalysis:

Behind the mask of "poverty" is often irresponsible. It's not that I don't have the ability to finish one thing, but that I don't want to spread it on myself. On the other hand, behind the mask of the poor is laziness.

Main points of makeup removal:

Find a third party to help you remove your makeup. If you have ever worn a poor mask at work, you can get on well with your colleagues who supervise you. Whenever you ask others to do something that you can't do for personal reasons, let them refuse you.

Angry or venting?

"If you are angry and can't bear it, you will see virtue without virtue." "Rao, Rao, Rao, once all the disasters disappear. Endure, endure, endure, and the creditor's family has been exhausted since then. " It seems that all ancient sages respected this idea: don't be angry, be patient. However, after thousands of years, those indifferent hearts have long been replaced by impetuousness, and there are a lot of inexplicable reasons to be angry for no reason. Once you can bear it, twice you can bear it. What about the cycle? Do you have to stick to it when you are injured?

Viewpoint: Endure three points and be calm.

Supporter Gao Le: Although my parents' names are to make me happy, I am a person whose heart is smaller than the eye of a needle. I always sulk when I'm fine, and repeat when I know it's not good. I found the reasons for my anger, including the reprimand of my boss, the misinterpretation of my friends, the misunderstanding of my family and my own fault. However, no matter who is right or wrong, there will always be "resentment" in my heart. Sometimes, I really want to be furious with them regardless of the consequences, or get hysterical revenge, but my reason keeps reminding me to "endure".

I have also read this report: according to scientific experiments, when people are optimistic and happy, the human body increases healthy chemicals in the blood through biochemical processes, such as hormones, enzymes, acetylcholine and so on. , play a role in regulating blood flow and exciting nerve cells, so that the human body is in a good functional state. However, when people's emotions fluctuate and negative sadness exceeds the normal physiological limit, it will cause physiological dysfunction and lead to diseases.

Bad emotions can cause psychological conflicts, lead to excessive mental and physical consumption, lead to decreased immunity, and lead to various diseases and even cancer. Long-term mental depression will lead to gastrointestinal diseases, because emotional depression will inhibit gastrointestinal peristalsis and secretion of digestive juice, which will lead to loss of appetite and even gastrointestinal dysfunction and organic damage. Specifically, the physical and mental consumption caused by an hour of anger is equivalent to the consumption of working overtime for more than six hours in three days. Anger sometimes makes people die suddenly.

Indeed, I am a narrow-minded and easily angry person, and this "nature" for many years has led to various discomforts analyzed by medical experts. For example, my liver is bad. I'm only 30 years old and my skin is slack and dull. Others say that men have a taste when they are old. If you ask me, I am still sick at this age, and I am sub-healthy. So, I began to learn patience.

As the saying goes, "Everything becomes gold". However, the word "forbearance" is not easy to do. Just looking at the word-making structure of "forbearance" means "adding a knife to your heart", which means that you have a knife in your heart. If you can't use this knife well, you may lose your life. Indeed, if you are angry and unrestrained, things will tend to expand and escalate gradually. Even if there is such a small matter as a head-on collision, you may use rude words and fight and hurt yourself.

It's just easier said than done. I started compiling history books. As the saying goes, reading can broaden your horizons, not to mention reading history wisely. Han Han Xin's "Endure Humiliation and Burden" is praised by later generations as a model of "forbearance". But if Han Xin didn't submit to humiliation and couldn't stretch or shrink, I can assure you that his head would have fallen to the ground, and his comeback and great achievements in the future would not appear in the history books. Not only in Han Xin, how many emperors and sages have never experienced the test of endurance? Because of the pain, there will be some earth-shattering actions in the future.

My ancestors have fully demonstrated "forbearance". I sincerely admire and admire them, and I am willing to learn and follow them. Although I have no ambition, my life is doomed to be wronged, angry, and angry because of anger. If I don't have the vulgarity of "clay bodhisattva", I'm afraid I can do whatever I want with my temper, and I won't even have a foothold and a career in the future. In this way, it is reasonable to "endure the anger for a while and avoid the worries for a hundred days".

Many people have also said that smart people should not be angry, otherwise they will punish themselves with other people's mistakes. I quite agree with this statement. They have wronged themselves, and it is not worth getting angry and hurting themselves. Anger is really harmful. Be patient.

Viewpoint: there is no need to endure, vent as soon as possible.

Supporter Zhong Qi: In the eyes of outsiders, I am a good wife and mother who is filial to her daughter. I don't blush with people wherever I go, and I even speak softly. Others praised me for my good temper, but I just smiled bitterly. No one will never be angry, only a good temper. If there is, just like me, put everything in my heart and bear it silently.

Sometimes I get angry, my relatives don't understand, my husband has a bad temper, my friends misunderstand, my life is complicated and my work is unhappy. I am just used to patience. I have always thought that hysteria is just stupidity, and patience is a traditional virtue of women. However, it is precisely because of this persistent virtue that I often fall into a helplessness and despair. Husband's temper is getting worse and worse. He often scolds me regardless of my face, which makes me embarrassed and hurts my chest. I come back from hard work every day and do all the housework, but I can't hear a warm word, and some are just unreasonable picky. Because I am not used to correcting each other's mistakes, the more I endure, the more things I do. For a long time, bit by bit has been piled up in my heart and made me laugh.

Until one day, my colleague reminded me. My wife has always been introverted and is responsible for the financial work of the company. Last year, the company selected outstanding employees at the end of the year, and the high bonus of 30 thousand yuan caused everyone's infighting. Usually, he always works hard. On the surface, he resigned himself to fate without complaint, but his heart may be tangled. He suffocated, depressed and sulked, unable to vent his anger. Later, he had an argument with another colleague. He was so angry that he fainted during the argument that the doctor diagnosed it as arrhythmia. Later, the doctor warned that if you often suppress your true emotions, you will be prone to arrhythmia. Some emotions can be released instead of being suppressed all the time.

Think about yourself, isn't it the same? Often sulking, losing patience, heart function began to disorder, not to mention recurrent attacks and intermittent incurable gastrointestinal problems. There is a popular song that says "life is like a hemp ball", which has some truth. Living in modern society, we are often deeply troubled by the inherent troubles of life and the pressure of the times. Negative emotions such as depression, anger, sadness and bitterness caused by interpersonal conflicts, worries about the future, the pressure of academic career, emotional entanglements and injuries often bite our hearts mercilessly and hinder our normal study, life and work. Since the mind can't be a calm lake forever, why can't it be properly channeled and vented when the waves are turbulent?

Because of my personality, I didn't want to tell my acquaintances about this trouble, so I asked a psychologist for help. I know from psychologists that people who are unwilling to vent their dissatisfaction or like to suppress their anger tend to live shorter lives, while those who live longer are basically the type of "losing their temper when they are angry".

I have read such a short story: In Guatemala, there is a bird named "Sarah", which takes seven days and seven nights to lay an egg. Because the bird has no midwife, it is difficult to cry for the girl all night. It is precisely because of these seven painful days that the eggshell became hard, and little Rosa became harder after she was hatched. This is a healthy tomorrow for children. A mother went through seven days of pain. The wailing all night is that Rosa is releasing her physical pain in another way.

Since living in this noisy world, it is inevitable that there will be songs and troubles. What should I do if I face too much boredom? Moping all day is not the way, nor is it the way of revenge. Learning to forget seems to be the best way, but forgetting and detachment are not easy, so I also began to try to vent myself, according to the methods taught by psychological counselors.

When I encounter troubles and sad things again, I can vent my emotions without harming the interests of society and others, such as shouting on the open lawn, writing letters, keeping a diary, chatting online, etc., so as to gain self-comfort and achieve psychological balance. When you have exhausted that anger, you will be calm, bored and keep a normal heart.

I persisted for a while and found that not only myself, but also my husband's temper changed. He started joking with me to make me happy and wouldn't yell at me easily. Afterwards, he told me that although I had done everything perfectly before, my unhappy expression always made him depressed and easily angered by my poor innocence. Now, I always have a quiet smile on my face, which makes him feel warm when he comes back from work every day and won't lose his temper. All this comes from my self-righteous "patience"!

Patience is a virtue, but if a person just endures blindly, it will only bring contradictions and pain to the individual. This kind of person will not vent, will not solve contradictions in other ways, will only live alone in the cracks, will only hide in the corner and secretly shed tears. As a result, contradictions have accumulated and become more and more painful, harming others and harming themselves.

But there must be a "degree" of venting, and you can't lose your mind, hurt others, and you can't be cynical. Only in this way can we avoid going astray.

Eliminating urban autism

Loneliness is not so much a disease as a popular emotional state. In the information age, as long as you make a phone call or place an order online, you won't have to wait too long to get everything done. This is the crux.

It elite

Lonely Quotations: Every weekend, I really want to go out for a walk, but I can't find the right person. Finally stay at home (last blind date, so it's not because of high vision, but because I really don't want to fall into the quagmire of loneliness with him).

Aerobic Latin 3354 increasing charm equals increasing the success rate of blind date.

Fitness is originally a boring thing, but aerobic Latin is extremely interesting, especially the enthusiasm given off by movements, which is especially beneficial for urbanites to release pressure and relax themselves. Especially at the beginning of aerobic stage, strong music is played. People's hearts suddenly got rid of the shackles of tradition. As Latin music releases its own energy and burns its own fat, the feeling of comfort and hearty is unparalleled.

Computer man after 90

Loneliness: Long time no see. I'm afraid to get in touch with my old friends, but I always don't like my current classmates. My brother, look at his major. It is my fault that I didn't stop him. Can he be too nervous not to collapse? I still remember that I lost my first job after graduation last year because my communication skills need to be improved, because he didn't say a word to his colleagues for a whole week! )

-The street dance skill competition is also an exchange.

It can make people concentrate, have a strong interest, and move gracefully and casually, which can cultivate a person's willpower and bring the thinking and creativity of the brain into full play. The most attractive thing is that it brings a kind of energetic enthusiasm. Regular practice can also enhance the coordination of the whole body. Street dance is a kind of low-intensity aerobic exercise, which has a certain slimming effect. After an hour of exercise, you can consume whole body fat.

College English teachers

Lonely Quotations: I'm not having a bad time now. But I'm not sure if I've been there. My junior high school friends are the busiest at the end of every month to answer the phone. Because he kept these two sentences back and forth, no matter how many words you explained, he still kept them. Therefore, psychological doctor is my most sympathetic profession now. )

Pilates-especially suitable for gardeners' stiff limbs;

Stretching can increase the flexibility of teachers, reduce the pain and fatigue of standing on the platform for a long time, and let nutrients flow to your muscles and tendons. They can make muscles healthy. Minimize the possibility of injury. Pilates can also stimulate the production of joint lubricants, which can relax the muscles of your legs, back, neck and shoulders and relieve pain and tension.

Lonely wisdom

Lonely Quotations: Talk to Tom Cat every day. Are you autistic? (College students, it is really not easy to meet the other half who often travels or lives apart. I wonder if I should give her another dog in a few days. )

Bikram yoga is the best way to consume too much energy.

Although this practice is considered by some classical yogis to be inconsistent with traditional concepts and norms, Bikram Yoga undoubtedly has an absolute number of loyal followers. Bikram yoga has strict requirements on the venue and temperature. Practitioners should practice 26 basic postures in high temperature above 38℃. Basically 10 minutes later, you are sweating.

overseas student

Loneliness Quotations: I am afraid of loneliness and addicted to it. I want to go to the carnival. I'm afraid of carnival. (I almost had something. Look at how bad the air is in Germany. Make Tongji Goofy so tangled! )

Fighting sports-students far away from home need passion.

Mixed boxing, karate, taekwondo and even some dance moves. Accompanied by strong music, it becomes a unique style of aerobic aerobics. Because of its instantaneous explosive force, large limb stretching range and greater exercise than traditional aerobics, it is especially suitable for young people with excessive fat accumulation. It can be called an effective "slimming" movement. Of course, for international students with red eyebrows and green eyes, that would be great!

It's not bad to be such a Tao Yuanming.

1. I seldom lie.

We all emphasize the value of the truth, but almost everyone will tell a little lie, except the autistic. For them, the truth is the truth, so it is really a good thing that a nice word comes from the mouth of autistic people.

2. Live truly.

Usually, people are troubled by public opinion and rumors. Ignore the present reality. Most people with autism have ideal mindfulness. They will pay more attention to the truth.

3. Don't judge others.

Who is fat, who is rich, who is smart and so on. Autistic people don't value these differences as much as ordinary people. In fact, they often find real people through these appearances.

passionate

Many of them really love the things, ideas and people around them: but those of us who call ourselves "normal" rarely have passionate moments.

5. Not very vain

Usually people will buy a car, play games or join a weight-loss club, which are not their real needs, but autistic people care more about their real likes, interests and enthusiasm than just for comparison.

6. Most of them have extraordinary memories.

People often forget the direction, or don't pay attention to details such as colors and names, while people with autism often pay more attention to details. In all key details, their memory may be much better than that of their peers.

Conclusion: Too much emotional backlog there will only make your mood extremely bad. If you can, try to vent! (The article was originally published in Health, Healthy Living Family and Healthy Vision, with the issue of 201June 4th, February, by Zhang Jinyan, Shao Yi and Yang Chuang, and the copyright belongs to the author; The purpose of reprinting is to convey more information, which does not mean that 360 Common Sense Network agrees with its views and is responsible for its authenticity. Please contact us as soon as possible and we will delete the content as soon as possible.