Fortunately, we have a way to make ourselves better.
Ma Tian suffered from postpartum depression for more than 2 years, taking medicine 1 year, psychological counseling and self-interpretation. I have stopped taking drugs for half a year now, and my whole life has been upgraded several times. I really like myself now!
Depression 1 year: I struggled with depression for a year, self-help behavior.
This article is from my Weibo: Tim Ma's parenting report.
Written on 20 15 1.3.
For the first time, I admitted that I had depression.
Anyway, I didn't adjust well after giving birth to the baby. I thought pure breast milk was hard and I couldn't sleep well at night. It will be fine after weaning. Results After weaning in April, the state was super good 1 month, and then I fell into a state of general weakness, no interest in anything and hard life.
Then I started having recurrent attacks. When you are in a good state, your creativity and thinking are very active. I feel very capable and confident, planning one activity after another, perfect!
In the state, I feel that the whole person is living like a piece of shit, walking dead. I have no passion and interest in doing anything, including my favorite food! Travel! I have suicidal thoughts. I hate myself, I can't see my own advantages, and I feel that I can't do anything.
It's like being controlled by an invisible force. I think it is my evil obstacle, and my resentful relatives and creditors come to me. I read the scriptures and sought the blessing of the Buddha. There is indeed a blessing of the Tibetan king and bodhisattva, so I just mixed up, and there was no big accident. (I joined a depression group at the beginning of the year, saying that my periodic attack is manic depression, fainting! )
During the whole year of 20 14, almost all activities were planned, and they kept tossing when they were out of the rankings, and then they reluctantly carried out and struggled with themselves when they were in a bad state.
In the middle of the year, the editor-in-chief of Metropolitan Express committed suicide due to depression, and suddenly people around him began to care about their mental health. I also edited a manuscript about depression, which contains a self-test question from Hangzhou No.7 Hospital. I did it: moderate depression, I suggest seeing a doctor immediately.
I looked up a lot of information and started to save myself.
Self-help 1: I told a girl I admired since I was a child.
Being beaten by her, she thinks that I am depressed because I have no goal in life, but a problem of leisure. Although I'm a little disappointed that she doesn't understand depression, I'm still very grateful to her for recommending Wendy Wang and being nice to me. The antonym of depression is not "happiness", but "vitality".
Self-help 2: I bought Wendy Wang's book.
Strange to say, it happened that my husband went to work in other places that day. On the way back to the train station, I was still thinking: if only a car accident was over now! I'm really afraid to go back and do something terrible by myself. Luckily, I went back to read Wendy Wang's book. What shocked me was her description of the three views. Indeed, I have never thought about this problem, so my life is chaotic. After reading the book, the state reached its peak again. I immediately sorted out my three views and analyzed my advantages and disadvantages!
Self-help 3: It would be amazing if Wendy Wang cured my depression.
However, since I recognized the early spirit, my state has changed a little. It seems that I have changed from depression to anxiety, from not being interested in anything to fear. When I was sick, I was afraid all day long, but I didn't know what I was afraid of. My heart is beating fast or my stomach is stuck. In fact, I know the changes in my heart:
Because I think it's too late, and I'm 30, so I know it's time to lose weight, practice English, become a better mother, and my son can't wait to grow up. My son has grown up, so I can become a better person! ! ! I asked this question at the morning meeting of Hangzhou Jingmei, and her answer was: split the plan and implement it step by step.
I understand the reason, but I will want to take a shortcut, because the previous 30 years have gone so smoothly that I have hardly worked hard. Everything depends on the Buddha's blessing. Now I have a good job, the most suitable husband and a happy family. ...
Even before me, I despised people with pre-spirit, planning and execution, and felt that they were unlucky, scheming and disliked. Now, I am eager to be a person I used to hate. I resent myself for not studying hard and making more plans.
I also began to blame my parents. Why did they give me such a carefree life, but they couldn't let me live a carefree life and didn't cultivate my strong ability to resist setbacks?
Self-help 5: I am eager to find a sense of value and have been looking for an organization and an identity.
I went to learn about the Didi public welfare organization I wanted to join before, and unexpectedly let me know the psychological counseling hotline of Didi public welfare: Dolphin Hotline (057 1-88022700, you can call without any commercial activities. )。
The teachers who answer the phone are all second-and third-level psychological counselors, who will listen and help anyone. I wanted to see a counselor for treatment, so I called immediately.
The teacher is really selfless and professional. The second person who answered my phone was Mr. Shi, the person in charge of the dolphin hotline, and his name was Big Brother.
After listening to my description, he hit the nail on the head and told me: because I have been a happy pig for the past 30 years, the body and mind of the happy pig have been controlling me, and now I want to become a pig with goals, so I will be very painful and depressed. You can simply set your own goals, and the process of change is very difficult. Don't think about it overnight. You have to turn your short board into a long board little by little, not all short boards can be changed!
His analysis is really a professional blow. He analyzed my physical reaction for me from a psychological point of view. I thought I had an epiphany, but I didn't fully understand it.
Self-help 6: Participated in the psychology course: Looking inward.
If I don't bother myself, I want to say thank you to the consultant who helped me. I won't join the dolphin hotline group, and I won't see this free course. The main idea of the course is: accept yourself, balance ID and superego (eager me and ideal me), accept people around you, keep in touch with beauty and positive energy, and talk to inner children.
"ego, id and superego: only when the three" I "live in harmony and maintain balance can people develop healthily; When three people quarrel, people sometimes think, "Is this me? "? Or have a different voice in your heart: "Well done? Can't you do it? "Or because of the conflict between desire and morality and pain? Or are you afraid of some ugly ideas that stand out from the crowd? If this situation lasts for a long time or the conflict is serious, it will lead to neurosis. "
This course is not magical, and it doesn't have much effect on me.
First, because I still can't love my inner child unconditionally when I talk to her, I still blame her for not working hard;
Secondly, when I looked scared and expected the so-called causal teacher to give me advice on self-help for depression, the teacher said coldly, I don't have time for one-on-one analysis. Go to a counselor yourself. Suddenly I feel that this so-called big love charity is also formalism. No one had to help you unconditionally. Maybe I'm too sensitive.
Self-help 5: Participate in early activities.
The first time I took a time management course in Zhong Wang was when I was ill. I was scared when I was listening to the lecture, but I was also attracted by the content. I had an appointment with a doctor from the Seventh People's Hospital, and I planned to see a doctor after the course.
In class, I heard from Zhong Wang that Yongxi, a master of time management in Taiwan Province, was once a depressed patient, but now he can control his life well. I'll ask Mr. Wang right away. Mr. Wang sent me a happy Weibo and suggested that I start running. Running can cure depression.
At that time, I also asked a question: I think it is a waste to spend time on myself, because it is difficult to concentrate when I am sick, as if I have a learning disability. Teacher Wang asked me to stick to it first. As for what I have learned, I have other plans, and it is normal to forget after learning. Normal people do that. If I forget, I will remember it again.
Many people say (I doubt it myself) that the so-called depression is laziness, that is, making excuses for not wanting to do it! In short, after the lecture that day, I forced myself to meet Wang Xiaomeng, a small editor of Zaozao WeChat, and told her that I could help to coordinate a better free venue for Zaozao, and you can contact me if necessary.
Then, instead of calling the psychiatrist, I chose to run home. Baidu map shows 3.3 kilometers, and I actually persisted. It was nice to wear sneakers that day. After running, I came home, my fear subsided, I did anaerobic training, and then I washed my hair and took a bath. The whole person seems to have been reborn.
Self-help six: keep exercising.
In fact, when Mr. Wang told me the magic of running, I had lost about 50 days 100 days, and my waistline was much more beautiful, but I took a shortcut, except for exercise, which was to eat meal replacement.
Postpartum lumbar spine is not good, and I have always insisted on yoga. Fortunately, the unit invited a great yoga teacher to teach at noon, and her class would hardly fall behind.
After learning to reduce fat effectively with oxygen and anaerobic, I also signed up for BOWKA's dance class, and the shaping effect was good.
The most successful thing this year is losing weight. Although the weight is not much, the overall curve becomes beautiful. I finally know that a good figure is really not born, but can be obtained through hard work.
Exercise can really relieve depression, but I desperately want to use exercise to drive away depression and hurt my knee. When filming, I said that the knee joint was hyperosteogeny, but it did get worse after running again. The doctor said yoga is not suitable for me either. Some actions are within my power!
Self-help seven: force yourself to make a sound.
I am really a warm-hearted person, and I am also a person who yearns for value, so although my job is like eating from a big pot, I still try my best to be a man.
As a result of this delay, I can only use my spare time to make my work more perfect, so I lost a lot of time with my son, resulting in guilt, self-blame and depression.
Besides work, there are all kinds of other activities: help with the venue, volunteer activities, charity activities planned as early as possible, and helping friends. When these activities are not arranged perfectly, I will get sick (as I did recently).
I will feel worthless again and waste Buddha's blessing on me.
However, early in the last sharing meeting, I learned a trick of "coffee meditation", which is to write down your help to others every day. Changes made by others because of you will affect you for many years. I will watch it when I am in a bad mood! This method suits me very well. I used to do gratitude contact every day, and the more I do it, the more I feel lucky and have little sense of value. This method can suppress my illness!
Self-help 8: Visit the guru and listen to Buddhism.
It's incredible to learn that college roommates who have always been maverick and talented have actually started to believe in Buddhism, copy scriptures and recite scriptures. She introduced me to a lecture by a guru in Taiwan Province Province, and I went there, which was really touching. Understanding scripture is the first step for me to learn Buddhism. There is little point in chanting behind closed doors!
I hope I can study Buddhism diligently, 20 15. Of course, you can't expect the Buddha to save you wholeheartedly. You have to pay, and Buddha will bless you.
Self-help 9: Relax and do whatever you want.
I learned later that I was too nervous to let myself go. For example, I am looking forward to sleeping with my son, but going to bed at 9 o'clock will inevitably wake up at 2 o'clock in the morning and I can't sleep. Being unable to sleep will make me think and cause panic.
So I got up and read decisively. Although I feel sleepy several times during the day, I am in a good mood and work efficiently. However, it hurts me more to be forced to lose my spirit because of overload.
Self-help 10: use the 20 15 efficiency manual!
I have always been a person without a plan, so I am in such a mess, but I am not willing to be a pig without a brain, so it is very painful. "If I continue to treat all kinds of things with a sloppy attitude, then my life will be thrown away!"
Another important reason for this year's depression is that the nature of work is not what I like. I have never found anything I am interested in in my career planning. Even I have never had a career plan, so I started to make it under the reminder of Huahua, because I don't want myself to be like this in 10 years!
After listening to my sister's advice this afternoon, I watched again how to manage my time and life, wrote down my life goals, how to spend the next five years, and how to spend only six months, and suddenly listed my career goals in detail:
I don't just want to make small series and pull advertisements. I want to do operation and wonderful market planning. This direction is in line with my vision of helping more people, and I am also very interested. I will definitely stick to it.
My own prediction of 20 15 (which was really realized later):
1. Success and change will not happen overnight. As long as you persist a little every day, you will make a difference. Don't expect anyone to save you. The only person who can make a decision to save you is yourself. It will help to be with your smart sister as soon as possible. Don't always worry about how far others have run. Today you ran a few meters more than yesterday, that's enough!
2. The key word of my 20 15 is "rebirth". This year, I will almost break the qualitative thinking and habits of the previous 30 years and start self-management! Achievement is a by-product of self-cultivation and target management. No requirements, just pay attention to the process!
Finishing postscript:
Later on 20 15, I lived a wonderful life and was really reborn!
At the end of the year, I gave myself 90 points and wanted to see the depressed life in the second year.
The second year of depression: a report on the rebirth of depression training (changing the wrong thinking mode)
I can't write down the second, third and fourth years. Please check my answers about other topics of depression.