There used to be a TV series "Puberty Hit Menopause", which was once a hit, but this TV series was about adult children, mainly because of their different views on marriage and love and the contradiction between parents. Junior high school children are in adolescence, and it is easy to have conflicts with their parents, and some contradictions are getting more and more fierce.
Then, what should parents do to reduce conflicts and get through this period smoothly when children enter adolescence?
When children are young, parents should feed them, help them dress, and even take a shit. When you are older, your parents will help you pack your stationery and decide what clothes to wear. ...
Children who enter adolescence have a stronger sense of independence. They want to get rid of their parents' control and make their own decisions. Therefore, parents should learn to let go, not only not to do everything for their children, but also try not to help them, let them arrange their own life and study, and learn to take care of themselves. If children need help, they will take the initiative to ask you for help. Not asking for help means that children can solve it themselves, and parents should give full trust.
One of the main differences between parents in China and parents abroad is their attitude towards children's mistakes.
China's parents are afraid that their children will make mistakes and must try to avoid them; Foreign parents allow their children to try and make mistakes. Obama did a lot of wrong things, even taking drugs, but this did not affect his becoming president. Of course, I don't approve of such a big right and wrong for children to try and make mistakes. I think this should stop.
But for some unprincipled mistakes, parents should give their children some tolerance, such as children wearing the wrong clothes, such as children playing, or having a good impression on a child of the opposite sex. Parents should not overreact or criticize too much. The process of children making mistakes is actually learning and growing.
Remember, no matter how angry and upset you are, you must try to control your emotions, communicate with your children calmly, understand their psychology of making mistakes, and guide them to realize their mistakes and grow up.
Sometimes, life teaches us more deeply than preaching.
Many parents are used to imposing their will on their children, thinking that it is good for their children and a sign of loving them. Although children will do what their parents say, they are often reluctant, which will separate the parent-child relationship. As the child's self-esteem becomes stronger and stronger, the child's resistance will become stronger and stronger, and slowly, he will become more and more rebellious.
Every child is an independent individual, they have their own habits and ideas, and parents should give their children room to grow up freely.
At the same time, learn to protect children's self-esteem and privacy. Although children are young, they still have self-esteem and privacy. Children who enter adolescence become very sensitive and need to protect their self-esteem and privacy.
Parents often put themselves in a higher position than their children, holding the shelf of "authority", always ready to find their children's mistakes and ask them to correct them. Even if you are wrong, you can't put down your face and admit it.
In this case, children are afraid and don't want to tell their parents anything, let alone share little secrets.
Only by communicating with children on an equal footing, with less criticism and more suggestions, can children learn to think independently, dare to admit their mistakes, trust their parents, be willing to communicate with them, and pay more attention to their suggestions.
In fact, I seldom compare my child with other children, and I don't think he is inferior to other children, but even so, there are times when I mention other children and I am unhappy, so don't mention others. What he means is, no matter how good or bad others are, don't tell him what others are like, just say what he should and shouldn't do.
Therefore, don't compare your children with others. What we need to do is to praise children's Excellence and guide them to realize their mistakes.
I believe in a word, every child has a flowering period, but the time is different.
Speaking of which, there is another aspect, that is, never compare the shortcomings of your own children with the advantages of other children. Don't let a child who likes painting learn piano. A cabbage can't grow into radish, and a poplar can't grow into ginkgo.
Don't ask your child to grow into what you want, but grow into his most beautiful and valuable appearance.
We often say that we should teach our children by example, but example is more important than words and deeds. Children often observe what their parents do. Parents' behavior will exert a subtle influence on their children. Why are children of artists more likely to engage in art, children of intellectual families pay more attention to learning, and children of commercial families are more likely to get ahead in business? Although heredity is part of it, the influence of behavior is not easy to ignore.
Therefore, if parents want their children to like reading, they should not play mahjong or brush their mobile phones, but also learn to like books, which will have a very positive guiding role for their children.
Say the important things three times. The son said that nagging is a common problem of all mothers. The impatience of many children is actually just that parents talk too much. I'm trying to correct it. Would you like to have a try?
Finally, do the last point well, don't nag, more than half of the problem has been solved.
What's your opinion? Welcome to leave a message for discussion!
I am Xia Xiang, a female doctor, and I want to seek the best education with you.