Men are used to treating their families and women as safe havens and comfortable nests. Therefore, they hope that their success and failure, weaknesses and faults can be completely contained here. Open your arms at any time and welcome them back in a relaxed and clear family atmosphere. If you only look at your husband with women's thoughts and feelings and ask them, it will inevitably lead to contradictions because of complaining about grievances. The happiness of marriage often requires the wife to be magnanimous and patient with Mother Earth, and to accept and tolerate her husband's many imperfections. Here, constructive communication and running-in with a bottom line, wisdom and patience are the best tolerance. Persistence and encouragement, or any unilateral irrationality, will leave hidden dangers and lay a curse for marriage.
(2) Women should learn to stand on their own feet.
Marriage and love are two completely different states. After marriage, the husband may often have no energy and time to pay attention to you because of his busy career. Husband will gradually decline because of the "hormones" in the body, love will produce reason, and passion will fade; Or playfulness, inferiority and other imperfections. In the face of the turning point, you must change your view of love, never blindly pursue the innocence of love, care about his concern for you, and care about the perfection of his character. If you cling to these things, focus on men all day, or want to transform your husband, you will get infinite troubles and losses in your heart. We must establish the foothold of marriage and love on the basis of independence and relationship, enrich and develop their hobbies and improve their comprehensive quality.
Although a man doesn't like women being too strong, deep down, he will never respect and love a woman who is neither independent nor completely dependent. Men need women to complement each other, and they also need the wisdom of their wives to motivate themselves to grow and progress.
Female friends let us understand the problem in a different way of thinking: others look down on you, and you make others look down on you. If you despise each other, you despise yourself. Marriage is the most taboo to reform, and the end of reform is bound to be breakup or adultery; There is no right or wrong in marriage, feeling comfortable is the last word, and coming and going can only fail; Marriage does not win or lose, only win-win, otherwise both lose; No one is perfect, but how high the mountain is, how deep Gu Duo is. Once we know these truths clearly, we will slowly run in, experience and try to guide the marriage into a relatively stable state: intimate and distant, open and temperate. Only by trusting each other and cherishing each other's freedom can the marriage last.
(3) Understand men's inner feelings
When a man encounters pressure, annoyance or burnout, he will temporarily flee. Sometimes when we get too close, my husband will want to escape, which is a psychological phenomenon. To some extent, the husband and wife are too close, which will make the husband feel that he has lost his "self". When the husband needs to avoid, the wife should fully understand the psychological needs of men. The pressure and hardships that men bear in society are beyond women's understanding, and sometimes they are inexplicably vented at home. When a man escapes or gets angry for a while, don't stand up and complain to him. Give him enough psychological adjustment space, and believe that he has the ability to calm his emotions and solve problems. When he adjusts himself and accumulates energy, he will have more love for you when he comes back.
(4) Learn the skills of supporting men.
Know how to respect your husband's thoughts and feelings, and don't ask for complete blame and lesson correction. Even if you want to help him make progress in a certain aspect or field, you shouldn't make a rash move with great fanfare. This practice is unconsciously weakening the strength of men, but it will also increase the reaction. Patience is the wisest thing to do. Because only his inner desire for change is the fundamental driving force.
In any social occasion, for the sake of social needs, give your husband enough face, give him trust, recognition, praise, gratitude and encouragement from time to time, so that he can get the greatest psychological satisfaction, give him the greatest motivation to become a true self, and give back to our whole-hearted love and care.
(5) taboo gossip
What is right and what is wrong in the family is inherently confusing. If a wife asks anyone for help, it is the greatest contempt for a man's authority and dignity. Coupled with rumors from outside, men's self-esteem will definitely collapse completely. At that time, even if men were willing to reconcile, it was difficult to ride a tiger. If the wife really wants to solve the problem, the only choice is to close the door instead of expanding the situation. The two slowly communicate and resolve the gap.
Marriage is the longest road in life, and home is the habitat of life and the health hall of the soul. A place without women is not home, so the role of a wife is particularly important. To be a good wife is to be an enlightened and wise wife, not a weak and confused little woman. In marriage, a wife still needs her husband's care, understanding, respect, loyalty, consideration and comfort. Only when men and women support each other and give each other the respect, appreciation, love and freedom that they need most, will marriage grow into the most fundamental, authentic and profound emotional relationship, and the two will grow together and move towards real harmony, perfection and harmony.