Stephen Covey said that we should take seven good habits as our core purpose!

? These three good habits of being proactive, starting from the end and putting things first can help us acquire an independent personality! The three good habits of win-win thinking, knowing ourselves and ourselves, and comprehensive effects have turned us from independent personalities into interdependent personalities! The last habit is to constantly update and ensure that you continue to spiral up!

Principle 1: Being proactive means having a choice, choosing to do things within the sphere of influence, rather than paying attention to things within the circle! Circle of influence is something I can change. Focus circle is what you can only comment, express opinions and sulk, but it's useless. You can't change it. We should work hard within our sphere of influence, and my affairs will get better and better! Prayer: Almighty God, please grant me the serenity to accept what I can't change, then this is the attention circle. Almighty God, please give me the courage to change what I can, circle of influence. The third sentence is the most cruel, saying that Almighty God please give me wisdom and let me distinguish the difference between the two.

Principle 2: Starting from the end is to find the principle of your own life, write down the direction of your own life, what kind of person you want to be, including simplifying to every little thing, and first figure out what you need to achieve before you do it.

Principle 3: First of all, please remember the game of loading stones, and you will know that you should arrange the important things first and do them for him first.

The author of The Third Choice is also Steven Covey. In his later years, he condensed all seven habits into a book called The Third Choice. The core of that book is how to realize the third choice and how to achieve a win-win result, so I won't go into details here. This is the fourth habit, called win-win thinking.

Let's carry out a correct method. My son said that going to school was really boring, and my father said that you were deeply frustrated with going to school. This is called reflecting each other's feelings. Because my son says school is boring, my father says I can see that you are deeply frustrated with school. Yes, the school stuff is not practical at all, and my son continues to complain. Father said that you think reading is useless to you. You find that your father doesn't judge or even ask questions, but feels the other person's feelings at the moment. Do you think reading is useless to you? My son is right. Things from school may not be useful to me. Look at Joey. He is a first-class mechanic now, which is very practical. You think he made the right choice? My father is still making a statement without judgment. I believe my father is in pain at this time and must want to express his thoughts in his heart.

But when you speak your mind, your son will argue with you. Once your son has an argument with you, it's no use telling you the final result, and you can't understand me. Father said that you thought his choice was correct and stated your feelings. My son said it was true in a way. Now his income is good, but he may regret it in a few years, and his father is not excited. Father said at this time, do you think he will feel that he made a wrong decision in the future? My son said yes, and in today's society, if the educational level is not high, he will suffer a lot. Then my father went on to say that education is very important. My son is right. If you don't graduate from high school, you'll never find a job or go to college. I'm really worried that you won't tell my mother one thing. Father said you didn't want mother to know? The son said, no, actually there is nothing to tell her. Anyway, she will know sooner or later. Today, the school had a reading ability test. As a result, I only have primary school level, but I am already a sophomore.

You see, at this point, the child opened his heart to his father and said that the root of his pain came from poor exam results. What did you find out about his father? Father didn't do anything, just told each other how he felt over and over again. This move is too powerful. I have used it countless times. I suggest you try it. You don't judge, you don't define each other, you don't rush to guide each other, why don't you try something? Don't say this, you will accurately reflect each other's feelings.

You will find that everyone understands and he will open his heart to you step by step, thinking that you respect him. This is the technology of knowing yourself and listening, so in this part, you can refer to the part about listening in Replicable Leadership, which we talked about. This is the fifth habit.

The sixth is called comprehensive comprehensive effect. What is the comprehensive effect of integration? He said that nature is the most typical comprehensive result, that is, trees, shrubs, grass, microorganisms and animals play the best role together. This is the ability of nature, so the most important thing is to be able to cooperate creatively with others. So in addition to win-win thinking, there is creativity in The Third Choice, that is, you should drive each other to be creative and communicate together, so in terms of communication, Stephen Covey said that communication is divided into three levels.

These three levels are to guard against each other. Generally, communication starts with mutual dike, which is called win-lose thinking, then mutual respect, which is called compromise, and finally called integration and comprehensive effect, which is called win-win. It is necessary to pursue both compromise and win-win, which is a process of integration and comprehensive effect. Therefore, in the process of communication, two points are very important. The first is to respect differences, and the second is to mobilize creativity. When you see others different from you, what is the best way to deal with them? We said you didn't agree with me, so I want to hear your opinion. If you don't agree with this idea, I want to hear your opinion. This is the first step to integrate the comprehensive effect.

When you can respect the differences, the other party will be willing to follow up, and then if you can invite him to talk, can we create a better method together? Would you like to imagine a better way with us so that you can help others to be creative with you? Therefore, when you can respect the differences and encourage everyone to exert their creativity together, you can really achieve a comprehensive effect and let everyone play a role in it.

You see, after these six habits are finished, you have changed from dependent to independent, and now you are dependent. You can cooperate with others.

The last principle is constant renewal, which is a spiral process. So in what ways is it constantly updated? Stephen Covey talks about intelligence, body, society, emotion and spirit. On the level of intelligence, you can consider reading and studying, attending Fandeng reading club, etc. This is the process of intelligence. On the physical level, you need to meditate, exercise, stay healthy, eat healthier food and so on.

In social and emotional aspects, you need to join more contacts, make more contributions, and often use other people's emotional accounts to save money. On the spiritual level, you need to pursue higher cognitive ability, you need to have your own philosophy, and you need to have your own set of methods to interpret the world. These are your values.

So these four levels, you need to constantly learn and update. Impressed, so here is a picture of a spiraling process. Life is a spiraling process, which is divided into three steps: study, practice and persistence. When you learn a new thing, you should try to practice it. After practicing for a period of time, stick to it and become a habit. You learn a new thing, keep practicing, keep going and rising, and you will become stronger and stronger.